Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2006 15:37:41 +0100 From: Chris Angel Subject: Those Who Live Between Reason and Emotion, chapter one Author's Notes I don't honestly know what possessed me to start writing this story; I assume I just wanted to take a bash at the adult/youth dynamic for a change. But let me put forth that it will be a little different from other stories of the a/y section, mainly because it focuses on the feelings and lusts of the child rather than those of the adult. I'll try my best to make it enjoyable. And if you like what you see, try checking out some of my other lesbian work on the Nifty Archive (and even if you don't like it, check `em out anyway ^_^). Legends of Asgarth ('Science Fiction or Fantasy' Section) Smells Like Sapphic Spirit ('Highschool' Section) The Misadventures of Anna ('Highschool' Section) The Misadventures of Kandi ('Highschool' Section) The Misadventures of Holly-Raine ('Highschool' Section) Okay, here we go! ********** "That which is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil." -- Friedrich Nietzsche Those Who Live Between Reason and Emotion ********** Chapter One: In the Library ********** Hannah desperately ran her fingers into her bangs whilst she panted and heaved. All at once she bit her lip to suppress her sobs and closed her long legs to keep her hand trapped in the juncture between her thighs. While one hand slowly ran her blonde tresses back into place the other continued a gentle caress of her nether regions. All the while, two of her fingers leisurely thrust in and out of her damp and warm vagina, drenched in discharge, absorbing the descent of the contractions that had been swallowing them. Her soft lips muttered the name `Miss Williams' over and over again as she rode down the last of her orgasm, body trembling, heart beating rapidly. Everything was always such a blur when she masturbated in the middle of the morning. But one image always remained constant in Hannah's mind when she did. The beautiful object of her desires, Miss Karen Leigh Williams. Even now, just simply thinking of her, made things `happen'. Picturing that woman's rosy pink lips made her nipples swell. Picturing that woman's long, lithe legs made her stomach hum. Picturing her gorgeous smile and sparkling eyes made her wet. And yet Hannah's need to masturbate about those things, just to feel less light-headed about them later, was directly contrasted by how she felt right after she did. In her own mind she couldn't have felt more pathetic. The blonde teenager sighed finally willed herself to pull her index and middle fingers out of her body. Her free un-cum soiled hand she used to pull down the top of her nightshirt, concealing her bared teenage breasts, which had been uncovered in the haze of the moment. Everything was always so rapid and unpredictable when Hannah chose to do this. Today was no exception. And it only added to how lousy she felt about the whole thing. And that feeling peaked when she saw the deep, damp wet patch staining the sheets between her legs. Hannah frowned at it and reached for pink strawberry-pattern panties dangling off her ankle. She pulled up her other bare foot and slotted it through, then pulled the panties up her legs again. Immediately after she did that, the blonde sixteen-year-old lifted herself from her bed and covered up evidence of what she been doing not sixty seconds earlier. And before she did anything else she turned to her nightstand and checked her alarm clock. It was around 7.50. She was WAY later than she intended to be. "Damn," Hannah whispered with a scowl, "Erika's gonna be here in like... half-an-hour." The whole thing had taken a good fifteen minutes longer than it usually did. But in Hannah's mind that was entirely understandable. It was Monday morning and she hadn't seen her beloved History teacher all weekend. So the teen got into gear and left her room. When she closed the door behind her she marched across the top floor and knocked on the painted white bathroom door. Nobody was inside. But by this time her Mom and Brother were probably downstairs anyway. So she walked inside and locked the bathroom door behind her. She stopped on the bathmat and stood before the washbasin, and so took a moment to look herself over in front of the mirror. At that point she came to notice how flushed her cheeks were. Since Hannah Harris had been like, what, six-years-old? She had been told the rouge of her cheeks was simple unimaginable. But that little highlight of her face wasn't really exposed much unless she was `hot under the collar' about something. Just knowing that made Hannah realize how much power Miss Williams had over her. Miss Williams had come to Minneapolis nearly a year and a half ago, from somewhere in Iowa, apparently. And she had said that once she arrived her teaching position at Winnicot High School was the first and foremost job she'd wanted. Their last history teacher had quit because of some `personal problems' with one of the other teachers there and so they needed a replacement. Hannah had no idea how much her life would change the moment that Karen Leigh Williams was brought in as that replacement. It summoned up a series of events that would see Hannah fall hopelessly, helplessly, in love with that woman. And she had been ever since. It really wasn't some stupid and meaningless set of emotions; like that that crush-slash-obsession she had on Michelle Rodriguez a couple years ago. This was different. It was real, at the very least, to her. At times, when Hannah was around her, she felt as though she were literally sitting on cloud nine. Miss Williams just had this incredible ability to draw a smile out of her. At other times she felt ruthlessly oppressed by those feelings, like this morning. Desiring someone that badly, enough that you had to do something like that to relieve the tension; was never a good sign. But at times, the only means Hannah had to keep in all in check and work out the tension was to screw herself like that. It was embarrassing as all hell, no doubt about it, but it hurt a lot more than the woman she loved so dearly was so out of reach. But the last thing she wanted to do was stand around and ponder the hopelessness of the situation. With that she reached out to her shower compartment and pulled open the semi-transparent curtain. Her wet hand (still soiled with her vaginal liquids) reached for one of the dials and poured on the hot water. While she heard the pattering of hot water droplets striking the marble tiles in the background, Hannah grabbed a bottle of shampoo from the bathroom cabinet and dropped it in the sink. Then she went on to peel off her nightshirt. She crossed her arms over the bottom of the blue shirt and tugged upwards, pulling it off of her and freeing her ample breasts with a lift and a bounce. After that she pulled her panties (which now possessed a very wide damp spot) down her legs and stepped out of them, and dropped them on her shirt. Hannah exhaled and walked into shower compartment. Before Erika got here she had to clean up. It didn't take long, at least not for her (as her Mother often said, Hannah had a habit of monopolizing the shower in the mornings). Twenty minutes later she peeled out of the shower, damp and steamy and quickly wrapped a towel around herself. She tied her wet shoulder-length locks of platinum blonde into a ponytail and threw it over her shoulder. Hannah returned to her bedroom and went into her wardrobe. From the large depths of it she pulled out a pair of her favourite Capri pants and an ice white tank top. From her pine wood chest of drawers she removed some underwear. And from her shoe rack she removed a pair of club heel sandals. Assembling them all together she got dressed with as much haste as she could summon and grabbed her wallet and keys from her nightstand. She then left her room and jogged down the stairs to the ground floor of the Harris Household, only to meet a callow stare of her waste-of-space, stoner of an older brother, Darren, on the way there. "Finally up?" He jibed. Hannah rolled her eyes at him. "Outta my way, jerk-wad." "Gladly." He remarked, right before ascending the stairs and entering his room with a bang. As soon as their Mom left for work he'd be hitting the Mary Jane again. That bastard really needed a job. But for now Hannah forgot about him and walked into her kitchen, where the 48-year-old Matriarch of the Harris home, Susan, stood. She had an apron tied around her as usual, in that desperate attempt to be both homemaker and working gal. Susan stood over a frying pan with three eggs sizzling on it. Hannah stopped at the doorway and muttered, "Morning, Mom." Susan smiled without looking back. "You're up late, Honey. Erika will be here any minute." "Yeah, I..." Hannah blushed when she thought about why she so late getting ready, "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize to me. Just make sure you're not late for school." Hannah shook her head. "I won't be." Then, bang on time, as usual, came that ring of the doorbell. Hannah went out into the corridor uttering `I'll get it', just before her Mom stuck her head out of the kitchen doorway. "Hannah! You haven't had any breakfast yet!" "I'll manage!" She yelled back, "I'll see you later, Mom!" She didn't even wait for the reply and opened the door to reveal her plucky best friend, Erika Robinson, standing in wait. Hannah and Erika had been best friends for as long as they had known each other, which was near enough twelve years by now, ever since Erika had shared some crayons with the blonde at a playgroup. They had the same tastes, talked about everything, always sat together at lunch, and shared almost every aspect of their lives together (aside from Hannah's overwhelming fixation on their History teacher) and so had been walking to and from school with each other for years. Erika tugged a strand of her lengthy black hair behind her ear. "Ready to go?" "Yeah," Hannah closed the door behind her. "Everything okay?" It was at this point that Hannah was noticing the way Erika's face was contorted. Like she was trying to stop herself from laughing about something. Hannah glared at her. "What's so funny...?" Erika looked away with a childish `I-know-something-you-don't-know' grin as they started walking out into the quiet suburban road. "I probably shouldn't say anything..." "Yeah, and you saying that makes me wanna know," Hannah replied. "What is it?" "Just a bit of info..." Answered her buddy. Hannah's shoulder's sagged. "This isn't some tenth-hand rumour, is it?" "Look, I have my sources. And I kinda heard it through the grapevine that a certain someone is hot for a certain someone named Hannah Harris." The Harris-girl looked away. It obviously wasn't going to be the ONE person she wanted most of all to be looking at her. But if it meant indulging Erika's gossip-prone way of life then she'd have to inquire about it and feign interest. "...Who is it?" "Matt Stokes." Hannah blinked. THAT she certainly wasn't expecting. "Matt Stokes? Matt... likes me?" "Well duh, I just said so, didn't I?" Erika followed through on one of her more annoying habits, tugging on one of her gold hoop earrings, before she said, "Jackie told me about it yesterday, and she said she got it from Emily, who got it from Carrie, who said that Vanessa told her about it after Matt's sister told HER about it." "I get the picture..." Erika giggled at the scenario. "So what are you gonna do about it?" "Do about it? I... I don't like Matt that way. I mean, c'mon, I've hardly said three words to the guy. I mean sure, he's sweet and everything, but..." There were no words for how awkward the situation would be as soon as Hannah got to school knowing something like this. She honestly had her own problems to think about. Matt was a nice enough guy. He was the kind of boy you looked at and saw as a potential friend, but never really as a `boyfriend'. And as far as Hannah knew, she and him had never even had a proper conversation before. They might say hello to each other when they ran into each other in the corridors or something but it never went beyond that. And in all honesty Hannah had trouble at looking at anyone other than Miss Williams in `that way'. Erika tugged at one of her earrings again. "Well, maybe you could give him a chance. We have that dance coming up in a few weeks time, remember? If you play your cards right maybe he'll ask you?" And thus revealed the biggest and only crack in Hannah's relationship with Erika. This aspect of herself, her sexuality, was the one thing that she could never tell Erika about. In some ways, Hannah kind of had a feeling that she would be cool about it. It wasn't like she was some rampantly homophobic bitch scrubbed up from the back end of ignorance. But she wasn't always liberal, either. And being the great extrovert that she was, Erika had many friends who certainly weren't all that liberal. Erika was also kind of a gossip, too. Not just someone who'd let slip a random bit of data every now and again, but a true and tried, geriatric-like gossip. Take the current situation, for example. You think Matt would have wanted Hannah to know about his feelings for her? And she had a knack for sniffing potential gossip out too. If something was going down at Winnicot High you could be sure that Erika would know about it. It was like she was a member of the CIA or something. And as much as it pained her to think that way, Hannah couldn't reveal one of her darkest and most intimate secrets to Erika because of that. She might not judge her for her sexuality, but Erika could just as easily let someone else know who WOULD, and that would be more or less the end of the semi-popularity that Hannah had established at school. The simple fact was her romantic life was the one thing that Hannah could never be honest with Erika about. Which made coming up with a reason for not wanting Matt to take her out all the more difficult. "I don't want him to ask me," Hannah responded. "I don't... like him like that." Erika lazily roped her hands around her neck. "Well, he's no linebacker but he's cute. And he's not a jerk, which is more than I can say for like two-thirds of the guys at school anyways. Maybe you should give him a chance. And it's not like, you know, you've had many boyfriends up till now." Had Hannah been a little more popular than she already was, there'd probably be no way to justify that. As it happens, she'd avoided suspicion thus far. There was no contention on how pretty Hannah was so most people just considered her to be somewhat of a late bloomer. "...I'm just... looking for the right... person." "Well, whatever," Erika said, "I guess I just thought you should know. So are we hitting the mall after school tomorrow?" Hannah sighed. "Sure." Erika didn't seem to realize it (from the way she started gabbing on after that) but Hannah's mood dampened. She hated the idea that Matt might like her. The thought of letting him down just reminded her of how much she wanted to be with Miss Williams... and how hopeless that desire was. How could she let him down like that? They were in similar boats, after all. They both liked people they couldn't have. At least for the moment tried to put that to the back of her mind. But that at least wouldn't be too hard considering that her first class of the day was History. Hannah and Erika walked for the fifteen-minute minute distance to Winnicot High. Once entering the courtyard they made a few wave and greets to their other friends and strode off into the lower building. They had different teachers for History so they split off in the corridors just behind the doors. Hannah first went to her locker and took her out history book, as well as a pencil and her notebook, then walked into Room 2-B of the Humanities department alone, where about two thirds of the class had all gathered up already. Most of them were talking about their weekend and what they did with it; the others (otherwise known, and quite unceremoniously, as the `rejects') sat and reviewed their notes from the last lesson. But Miss Williams wasn't here yet. So like usual, Hannah took a seat by one of the wooden desks standing front and centre in the rows. It was, quite frankly, the best place to get some kind of view of her beloved History teacher while she `did her thang'. And in the 1.6 minutes that Hannah got before Miss Williams reared her beautiful head, she had just enough time to get her stuff together with any semblance of a coherent pattern of thought. All that went right out the window the moment that Miss Williams arrived. If life had a slow motion button then God always seemed to press it when she entered the room. And in the very instant that she did, Hannah's body assumed the automatic reaction it always took, complete and utter meltdown. The only correct word to sum up Karen Leigh Williams in Hannah's eyes was `Goddess'. She was absolutely beautiful. She was possessed of spectacular, glossy dark hazel hair that inched just a little ways passed her shoulder blades. Her eyes were the most haunting shade of green, accentuated by long lashes of deep ebony. Her tight skin was the lightest milky white you could imagine, as though she were made out of the finest and rarest porcelain. She had such luscious rosy lips that always curled at the sides to perform the cutest smile you could picture on a 33-year-old woman. She was of medium height and had the most magnetic figure to match it, with endlessly long legs, toned thighs and a delightfully curvaceous figure, set off by her adorable little breasts. Today she had dressed light grey suit that felt both casual and professional at the same time. The skirt of it ended about halfway up her thighs, which displayed quite well the thin stockings covering her legs (the same legs that had been wrapped around Hannah's waist so many times in her errant fantasies). Even now Miss Williams carried herself with an unmatchable poise and grace that made her look as though she were gliding rather than walking. She was dignified but she wasn't the least bit pretentious; the world wasn't good enough for her but she'd never act like it. And the moment she stopped before her desk, Hannah desperately caught a breath to keep herself calm. Just looking at her History teacher made her heart tighten. And sure enough she felt an unmistakable ache between her thighs too. Her already flushed cheeks brandished an even deeper shade of rouge, but all the blonde did was ignore their warmth. At that point in time, Miss Williams put the textbook in her arms down on her desk and turned to her group, who by now had quietened down. Hannah's fresh panties developed something of a wet patch when Miss Williams strode around the front of the desk and sat up on it, crossing one of her stocking-laced legs over the other. And bless her heart; she had no idea how seductive it was. "Morning, class." Miss Williams said, nudging her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I hope you're all ready to get to work today?" Some said yes, the rest just kind of groaned, whereas Hannah just sort of stared at Miss Williams and sighed. From then on the lesson began and Hannah merely did was she could to hang on for the ride. Her teacher went on to review what they'd done in the previous class, generally just an overview of the events that paved the way for the Enlightenment. Today's class focused on the characteristics thereof, and Miss Williams went onto describe them with a zeal that so accurately displayed her passion for teaching. And for the better part of an hour, Hannah made herself watch the older woman through discrete glances, averting her eyes anytime Miss Williams happened to look in her direction. The girl took note of all the subtle nuances that attracted her to this woman, too. The way her eyes sparkled when she made a clever comment, the way she stroked the chestnut bangs out of her eyes, the way she lightly chewed on her lip when tried to remember an obscure historical detail, or the lilt of her quiet laughter when someone in class made a joke that even she couldn't resist laughing at too. It was all like a television show that had Hannah hooked on hopelessly. Halfway through the lesson Miss Williams bent over to pick up a marker she dropped accidentally. The kids at the front row got a flash of that well-rounded ass. Hannah immediately felt her nipples swell. It just seemed like everything Miss Williams did was sexy. And Hannah couldn't help but bath herself in all of it, after all, it was the closest thing the blue-eyed teen could get to having this woman in her life. But like all good things, it ended too fast. The bell rang and finally snapped her out of the trance that Miss Williams had her in. An hour had dissolved already. Before she knew it, all the chairs were squeaking against the floor as everyone got up and started marching onto their next lesson. Hannah blinked a few times before... "Hannah." She looked up and saw Miss Williams standing before her desk. Hannah's eyes shook. "Y-yes...?" "Could you wait here for a moment?" Said the older woman, without a smile, "We need to talk." Hannah looked down again. It almost seemed like Miss Williams was upset with her. "...Okay..." And so she sat back down and they both waited for everyone to exit the classroom. A few of the nerds came up to Miss Williams before leaving and asked her about things about the class that went right over Hannah's head. Which in a way kind of pissed her off. The thought alone of someone sharing something with her angel that she herself couldn't be a part of just... bit her up. That in itself wasn't a new issue though, either. Miss Williams wasn't just popular with her, but with practically every straight guy in school that knew of her. It was no secret that she was the hottest teacher in school. Three months ago some of the guys on the football team started this long twenty-name list of the `sexiest teachers' in Winnicot High. Miss Williams ranked in at number one. And while Hannah couldn't deny that those jerks had good taste, she still hated the idea that other people might like Miss Williams in the way that she did. It was a possessive, selfish, and egocentric point-of-view, but you know Hannah didn't really care. All that had mattered to her in these past few months was the woman who taught her History. She wanted the older woman all to herself. It was probably one of the reasons Hannah didn't dare imagine that Miss Williams had a life outside of this school. Eventually everyone left. And the room descended into a still silence broken only by the remote echoes of the students outside passing by the door. And now that they were alone, Hannah could hardly bring herself to look Miss Williams. At the end of the day, it was easier to hide the fact that you're staring at someone if everyone else is. Now it was just... risky. Miss Williams gently ran a hand through her hair and leaned/sat on her desk, crossing her long stocking-covered legs, like she always did. "Hannah... sweetheart, we have to discuss this." The blonde didn't dare bring herself to imagine that `sweetheart' was a term of endearment. She called everyone that. Another thing Hannah resented. "...Discuss what...?" "Let me put it this way," She uttered in that obliviously alluring voice of hers, "Show me your notes." "Huh?" "The notes from class. Show me your notes." Hannah looked at her desk, more specifically the notebook on it. Though it had been opened it was completely empty. And now she realized that she hadn't even written any. She was so fixed on Miss Williams and the sheer endlessness of her beauty that she hadn't even been paying attention to the lesson she was trying to teach. So Hannah looked up again and saw the knowing frown on Aphrodite-incarnate. "I... uh..." "You didn't take any, did you?" "...No." Miss Williams shook her head. "I thought so. Hannah... you're such a bright, capable girl. But these past few months you've really not been paying attention. And I shouldn't tell you this but I know that your grades are slipping this class... and not in others. Is there something wrong?" In her heart she wanted to scream `you're what's wrong with me!' or `it takes everything I have not to beg you to fall in love with me!' and so on and so forth. But in the end she settled for, "...No..." Miss Williams remained silent for a moment. "...I'm not buying it, Hannah." No sane person would. Hannah couldn't see what her own demeanour was like but she knew it wasn't very believable. And she also knew that she could not lie to this woman. It wasn't so much that she didn't want to, she just COULDN'T. At least not convincingly. The power that Miss Williams had over her was phenomenal. So Hannah did the only thing she felt that she could in this situation. Apologize. "I'm sorry," She said, in barely a whisper. Miss Williams exhaled and let the smile return to her face. "Oh sweetheart, I know I can be kind of a hardass sometimes. And I know that History isn't an easy subject for some. But you're such a smart girl; I don't want you to blow it in this class. Okay?" Karen Leigh Williams was a lot of things but one thing she wasn't, was a `hard-ass'. The very fact that she could say something like that to a high school student proved that she wasn't. "...Okay..." "So do you promise me you're gonna try a little harder from now on?" Hannah finally managed to look at her. In her mind she thought `I'd do anything for you' but like normal her mouth didn't convey that. "...I'll try." "Okay then. I'll-" The teacher was cut off as Hannah continued. "It's just... it's hard sometimes..." She wasn't talking about schoolwork, "...and I... I just..." Miss Williams crossed her arms. "Are you having trouble keeping up with the rest of the class?" The girl said nothing. "Hannah, it's nothing to be ashamed of," she told her, "We all need help every now and again." Yet still, Hannah remained silent. And so the older woman nudged her glasses back into place and smiled warmly at her. "Look. I'm not very busy after-school today. All have to do is finish marking a few term papers, which shouldn't take long. If I do that during my lunch break, I'm sure I can free up some spare time. How about we go to the library after your last class and I can help you study for a little while. How does that sound?" Hannah stared dumbfounded at her. "You mean... y-you and me...?" "Of course. I don't usually do this but it's worth it if it helps one of my students pass this class. If you need help then I'm offering it. So how about it? I have a faculty meeting right after last period but if you wait for about forty minutes I'll be ready. Would that be okay?" The teenager's cheeks flushed. "Uh... s-sure...!" "Then it's settled. Meet me in the library at about," Miss Williams leaned off her desk and checked her watch, "...3.45. I'll be there before you know it." A new wave of elation rose up in Hannah that she barely even recognized. Was this really happening? Was she really going to get a chance to be alone with Miss Williams? No matter what the reason, she knew she couldn't pass this up. The blonde teen smiled with rejuvenated zeal and grabbed her stuff together before nodding to her teacher and exiting the classroom, somehow missing the point. She was going to have Miss Williams all to herself for hours! ********** Chris Angel says, * Well, I hope you liked the first chapter. If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to e-mail me. I may or may not continue it depending on the feedback I get.