Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2008 03:55:46 -0500 From: X X Subject: The Brotherhood #12 {X} {MM College & Sci-Fi/Fantasy} [12!?] The following story contains sexually explicit acts between men. If such things bother you, annoy you, disturb you, or frighten you, then why the hell are you here? Do yourself a favor and leave before you read something you like and discover that you're actually gay; you might not be able to deal with the revelation. ***Note to Reader*** Hey all it's me again. Your favorite absentee writer is back. Again, I want to thank everyone for being so patient with me. I started a yahoo group for TBH a while back. It's place where you can get the latest chapters and talk about the story with other readers if you like. As thanks to those who are signed up, I'll be keeping the group one chapter ahead of Nifty. So while Nifty has up to chapter 12 the group is up to chapter 13. So if you want to keep up just sign up here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/ As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or bad, on the latest chapter so feel free to write me at: thewriterxx@aol.com The Brotherhood Chapter XII "You better not be doing anything weird in there," Q called out. Then I heard him laugh to himself. I'm not going to lie - I went into full panic mode! I was not ready to open this can of worms, at least not yet. I dropped the shirt like it was on fire, kicked it under the pile of clothes and turned just as Q opened the door. "Hey..." His perfect, pearly white smile still made my stomach flutter. Or maybe it was seeing him standing there wet, his hair slicked back, wearing nothing but a pair of black speedos and flip flops. "Hello to you too." My heart pounded and danced against my chest, yet my eyes remained steady, solidly fixed on Q. I stared so hard, you'd think I was Medusa trying to turn him to stone. I've said it before and I'll say it again - the boy is a vision of perfection. Nothing was out of place or out of whack when it came to the way he looked. He was the ideal. A god plucked from the dreams and desires of desperately lonely men and women alike. "Do you always run around the house in your underwear? I thought that only applied to us pledges." Q smirked and walked up to me. "Very funny, smartass. I just came from the pool." He cocked his head to the side as he looked at me. "Are you okay? You look flushed." "Can you blame me?" Honestly, I wasn't sure if it was because I was almost caught with the shirt in my hand, or Q standing in front of me damn near naked that made me blush. With the same devilish grin dancing on his lips, he slipped his hand behind my neck and pulled me close for a kiss. I resisted him as much as I'd resist someone giving me ten million dollars. Green shirt? What green shirt? I don't know how he does it, but whenever I'm around Q, everything else fades away. All that matters is that we're together. The green shirt could've been the evidence that proved Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't alone on that grassy knoll and I wouldn't have cared. My hands landed squarely on his waist just as he turned to walk away. He may have had other plans, but I wasn't ready to let go. I quickly spun behind him, slipped my arms around his waist and pressed my chest into his back. It was my turn to take control, my turn to hold him close. I kissed the nap of his neck. It felt natural, like I'd been doing it for years. He looked over his shoulder and again I was convinced his smile would be the end of me. "I missed you," I whispered into his ear. And despite all the craziness of the day, it was the truth. "You're funny." I'm not sure what he meant by that. He kissed me again, just a quick peck this time, and I finally let him go. I soaked in every inch of him as he walked to the cabinet. Ok, I'll be honest. Mostly, I soaked in his ass. Two flawlessly formed orbs, tight and firm, completely outlined beneath the spandex material of his Speedo. If I could paint you a picture I would. Well, maybe not. This is one image, one man... one ass... I'd like to covet formyself. "So you enjoy swimming?" I asked. "Very much," he answered. "I love swimming! I enjoy it almost as much as I enjoy...um, other stuff." "Well that explains it." He threw me a quick look over his shoulder. "Explains what?" "You have a typical swimmers body - lean, tight and toned." "I have yet to hear any complaints." I couldn't see him but I the tone of his voice told me he as grinning like a stud. "Hey, who's complaining?" He laughed, stripped off his Speedo and threw it at me. "So you'll always have something to remember me by." I caught them with one finger and twirled them in the air. "Thanks." As much as I wanted to keep them, sick I know, I added them to the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. He stood with his profile to me as he rummaged thru the cabinet. I assumed he was on the hunt for a pair of underwear. Come on! How could I not notice his cock just hanging there over his amazing sack, looking all long, meaty and inviting? It actually swayed a little as he dug deeper into a drawer. "Are you still feeling, okay? You haven't fainted again or anything, have you?" Seriously? He was going to stand there all naked and sexy and try to carrying on a conversation with me while I had a big ass boner in my pants? "No...I'm uh," I swallowed hard, "fine." "Good." He pulled out a pair of red and black cameo briefs and slipped them on. I stood there watching him adjust himself until they fit just right. I was tempted to ask him if he needed a hand. He turned to face me and threw his hands out. "You like?" "Do you really have to ask?" They fit him like a glove, showing off a perfect outline of his cock. I must say Q has about the sexiest underwear I've seen on any guy. He must have a collection. "You enjoy the cameo look, don't you?" He shrugged. "I find cameo underwear or sleepwear to be very attractive on the right guy." "I agree," I smirked. "Damn, do I agree!" "I know. Why do you think I wear it?" "Tease." I snarled. I honestly enjoy and prefer the softer, more loveable side of Q as opposed to the hardcore-all-business-no-play-brother side of him. But I must admit, it definitely takes some getting used to. He tried to pass me again, this time to go into the bedroom, but I stepped in front of him. He smiled softly, romantically, and put his hand on the side of my face. I was so lost in his piercing gaze, I knew only he'd be able to find me. By the look on this face I knew he felt the same way. "I need to get dressed," he said, almost apologetically. "Yeah...about that. I kind of like the way you look now." "I bet, but it still doesn't change the fact I need to put clothes on. I can't be running around the house in my underwear all day, as some people put it." "Again, I'm not seeing the problem," I teased. He lean forward, put his lips to my ear and whispered, "Stop making this so hard." We kissed for a while. It was intense, deep, and passionate. You know like the kind of shit you see in the movies. I took a second to pull away from Q and assured him I could make things a lot harder for him, and then pressed my thigh against his crotch. "You're impossible," he accused and pushed me out of the bathroom. I was more than happy to follow him to the closet like a love struck puppy. "Hey, did you enjoy your two hours of freedom?" "Um...yeah." "Good." He smiled at me while trying to decide what pants to wear. "What did you do?" I had an instant knot in my stomach. "What did *I* do?" I put my hand on my chest like there were ten other Jacobs in the room and I wasn't really sure he was talking to me. "Yes you. What did you do?" "Oh, you know... just stuff. Nothing special." "Well did you stay on campus or did you go somewhere?" "Did I go somewhere?" He stopped shifting thru his clothes to look at me. "What's wrong with you?" "What's wrong with me?" "Will you stop repeating everything I say?" "I'm not repeating everything you say." "Yes, you are." "No, I'm not." "Yes you...look," he paused for a moment, "why are you acting weird and fidgety all of a sudden?" "I'm not acting weird and fidgety." In case you missed it, I kind of was. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell Q I went to see Lady White and I sure as hell didn't want to lie to him. "Jacob enough!" For a moment the switch went off and my loveable Q was replaced with my hardcore Big. "Now did something happen today?" "Nothing happened, honest." That wasn't exactly a lie because nothing really did happen. "I just went down to the village for a little while, then over to the library." "The library?" "Yes, you've heard of it. It's that big brick building. You know, the one with all the windows and a ton of books." Q gave me a look and suddenly I felt an inch tall. I guess I forget who I was talking to and that there were certain lines I wasn't allowed to cross. "Q, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean any disrespect." He walked passed me with a pair of jeans slung over his shoulder. I felt so fucking stupid. I was going to continue to apologize but then he started laughing and said he was just kidding and wanted to see the look on my face. I was heated! "Are you fucking kidding me?" Q stopped suddenly, stunned. He hadn't expected those words to come flying out of my mouth. "As if this thing between us isn't confusing enough for me. You're really going to play that game? Like I don't freak out already! I'm never sure how far is too far because you're not only my boyfriend but my Big as well...not to mention the head of this house." Ok, my tirade was over. I took a couple of deep breaths and waited for the worst. I was going to get it. But instead of lashing out at me, Q simply stood there with a cheesy grin on his face. "You called me your boyfriend." "No I didn't!" I actually did remember saying it. I wasn't planning on it but it just came out. AND it felt good hearing it. But I wasn't ready to give Q the satisfaction. "Yes you did! You threw it out there while you were ranting and raving." I realized I wasn't going to win this one. "Okay, maybe I did but it doesn't change the fact that what you did was fucked up! This isn't going to work if you're going to play those kind of mind games. I don't need the added stress." "You're right, you're right." He threw his hands up and surrendered. He had the face of a little boy who knew he had done something wrong. "That was in poor taste and I'm sorry." He looked so sweet with those big, apologetic eyes staring at me. So what happened next? I started feeling bad. "It's okay, you don't have to apologize." Ain't that some shit? He pissed me off and I end up feeling for him. "How about I make you a deal," he offered. "When we're alone and not doing any official house business as Big and Little, you're free to say whatever is on your mind and be as funny or sarcastic as you want to be. As far as our personal relationship goes, you're my equal not my subordinate." After hearing that, how could I not want to jump his bones? I went up to him to steal a kiss. I turned my head and closed my eyes and everything. "So what was so special about the library?" he asked and turned away from me to put his pants on. I ended up kissing air. "You know, that place with a ton of books?" Q was fishing and he wasn't going to let go unless I gave him something. "Actually, I ran into Alex." "Oh," he certainly sounded interested; if nothing else the look on his face gave him away. Q sat on the bed and loosened up the laces on his shoes before slipping them on. Then, while tying the laces, he nonchalantly asked, "How is Alex?" "Oh please, don't give me that." "What?" "I know where you're going with this." "Going with what, Jacob?" Q shrugged. "I merely asked how she was doing." "Please!" I scoffed. "I know what you're trying to say." "Of course, how stupid of me," his every word was laced with sarcasm. "You've decoded my cryptic talk with your super human spider sense. I should have known!" "Joke all you want but I know what you're thinking Q." "Well, I'm glad one of us does. Would you mind cluing me in?" "I know I have to talk to her and break it off. I'm just waiting for the right time." Q laughed. "I didn't say anything about that." "Yeah, but you were thinking it." "Oh right," he was still laughing as he wiggled his hands in front of me, "spider sense. Look Jacob, I really don't..." "And before you even go there, I didn't sleep with her the night of the party. Even though I could have, I didn't and you want to know why?" I pointed at Q like I was accusing him of something. "Please, do tell. Don't keep your audience waiting." "Because all I could think about was you. That's right! I could've had a night filled with..." Reaching over to hook his fingers in the front of my pants, Q pulled me towards him, forcing me to stand between his legs. "Jacob will you shut up! I wasn't thinking any of that. As hard as it may be to believe, when someone asks how another person is doing, sometimes they actually just want to know how that person is doing." "Oh..." I could feel my cheeks heat up. "Well don't I just feel special." "Special doesn't begin to..." I interrupted Q by shaking him a little then pushing him back on the bed and straddling his lap. I think he enjoyed that. "Listen Jacob, I realize the situation with Alex isn't a simple one and I know you'll talk to her whenever you're ready so you're not going to get any pressure from me. I just want you to do what's right for you. And if that means you'd rather be with her, if you still love her I don't..." I covered his mouth to shut him up. "Believe me Q, I don't love her. I lov...uh, um...I'd rather be with you." I couldn't believe I almost threw the L word out there! The worst part was I could feel him smirking under my hand. I sat back on his lap and he placed his hands on my thighs. He didn't have a shirt on yet so I used the opportunity to trace my finger around his abs and navel. I decided to do some fishing of my own. "You know, I ran into someone else at the library. Someone way more interesting than Alex." "Really?" His eyes widened with interest. Who?" "Your father." "My what?" he shouted and sprang up like a board, launching me backward in the process. Luckily, my beloved Q caught me or I would've cracked my skull on the floor. Instead, I sat dangling with my head only a few inches from the floor and my body twisted beyond human recognition. "Oww." Q pulled me back up and I pushed him back down. "Your father!" "Oh for fucks sake," he said and covered his face with his hand. "I'm sorry. I wish I was there to spare you from him." "He's rather, um...interesting to say the least." "Hardly," Q insisted. "What did he have to say?" "I don't know what father-son issues you two have going on, but he seemed to genuinely care about you. He wishes nothing but the best for you, I guess. Honestly, I'm not entirely convinced he's not Kyrios." I kind of just slipped that in there while Q's guard was down. "Oh please! My father Kyrios?" he laughed mockingly. "If that were the case, I would've dismissed myself a long time ago." "Wow. That bad huh?" "You don't know the half of it." I thought I'd sneak another one in there. "Why don't you start with the first half and you can fill me in on the second half later." "Sorry, but my father isn't exactly my favorite topic of conversation." "Well, you seem to be his." "I'm sure." Q shook his head and began ranting in that other language. I didn't understand a word of it until the end. "Fuck!" I pointed at him right away. "I got that one!" He put my hand down and shook his head again, "Please don't try to make me laugh." I shrugged and left it alone for a while. But as much as I enjoying looking at Q, I could only stare at him for so long. "Your father said something I thought was rather odd." "Oh?" "He said he was the reasons The Brotherhood exist, that you were all his sons." "He's senile." I laughed. I wasn't expecting him to say that. "He didn't seem senile to me." Sorry, but I wasn't buying that for one second. It sounded more like a pissed off son lashing out his father. "Trust me, he's crazier than a soup sandwich. You really shouldn't take anything he says seriously. Believe me he'll end up..." There was a knock at the door. "Q you in there?" "Now what?" Q's irritation came thru load and clear. He tapped me on the hip and I rolled off him. Then it occurred to me that it probably wouldn't look too good if I was just casually lying on Q's bed like I belong there. I quickly sat up and adjusted my clothes. Q stood up and told whoever was at the door to come in. It was one of the twins. "Hey Q." Q nodded. "They're starting to get the pledges together for their trial. I figured you didn't want your Little to be the one holding things up." "No. No, I wouldn't. Thanks." "No problem," he smiled. "Oh and we are starting to gather downstairs to discuss Dylan's ceremony. And don't worry, my brother took Dylan down to the village to give us a chance to talk privately." "Good," Q returned the smile. "Thank you. I'll be down in a minute." Say his name! I thought. For fucks sake I wish someone would just call them out by their names already. But it was too late, he was already gone. I figured what the hell? "What are their names?" "Who?" "'Who' he says," I mocked. "The guy who was just here and his brother. What are their names?" "Oh, the Twins." "Yes, but I'm sure at some point their parents thought it wise to give them names." "Yeah...you'd think so," he grinned and kissed me. "You should get going before you're late. Like he said, I can't have my Little holding things up." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." I stopped at the door, suddenly remember something. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be cooking me an amazing dinner tonight?" "You don't worry about it. You're going to be pleasantly surprised." "So we're having take-out is what you're saying?" He pointed at the door and laughed. "Get out!" I hurried along to my room for fear of being late and all the while still thinking this wasn't possible. Q and I an item? No fucking way! Hell, hooking up with a guy shouldn't be anywhere near the realm of possibility and yet it seemed to be happening. Scarier still was the fact that I wasn't fighting it at all, not even a little bit. And why wasn't I? I mean fuck! I knew college life changed you but this was ridiculous. Still... no matter how freaked I felt or the dozen questions bombarding my thoughts...I sure as hell didn't want to let Q go. Arsen was already standing outside our door when I rushed to my spot next to him. Instantly, he jabbed me in the ribs with this elbow; his way of saying hello. I was more than happy to return the favor. He looked at me with a Cheshire grin and slapped the back of the head. "What have you been up to?" "I was just hanging with Q," I shrugged as I watched the other pledges trickle in. "What about you?" "Same." "Well that can't be true," I laughed, jabbing his ribs again. "I didn't see you there." "No, I mean I was with my Big. I was with Shawn for a little while." He jabbed me again even harder. "Don't be a smartass." "But I pull it off so well." "Yeah...that's true. Unlike your face!" "You bitch!" I slapped him upside the head and it was on. We started rumbling right there in our doorway trying to see who could knock who down. Arsen is tough. By no means is he an easy cookie to drop. The other guys got a real kick out of seeing us going at it. It was lighthearted and all in good fun. Kind of a 'boys will be boys' moment. And yet, even though I couldn't see Mike, I could feel his disapproving eyes on us. Well, screw him. CJ came up behind me while Arsen had me in a headlock and slapped my ass... hard. "Dudes, someone's coming! Cut the shit!" And just like that it was over. We stood at door all proper and shit like we were about to be called in for a job interview. I was cool and collected on the outside, but laughing like hell inside. I glanced down the roll of guys next to me and made a mental note to CJ back for smacking me. My ass cheek still stung! I was thinking of something along the lines of whipping his bare ass with a wet towel next time we showered - with just the right amount of moisture, he'd be feeling it for days. Wicked, I know. Gage came up the steps with an armful of booklets. Bone entered behind him carrying the same. 'This should be interesting' I remember thinking. They didn't say anything at first. They simply passed out the booklets to all the pledges. My book had Anthony Reeves written in fancy letters across the top with a pen right under it. Of course, I was thinking the dumbass gave me the wrong book and I wondered if it was okay to say something, to point out the mistake. I'm so glad I didn't. "Sir, I got the wrong one," Mike said. "You gave me Arsen's book." "What the fuck?" Gage got right in Mike's face, yelling like a drill sergeant. "Are you suggesting I don't know how to do my job?" Mike shook his head and looked terrified. "Answer me!" "No...no sir." "Do you think I need a dumb shit like you to tell me where each book belongs?" "No sir!" Without turning my head even the slightest, I glanced down at Arsen's book and noticed it had Mike's name on it. I was beginning to get an idea of what we had to do with them. "Then why the fuck did you open your mouth when no one asked you a damn thing?" "I...I don't know sir. I'm sorry sir!" "Sorry? You're fucking sorry?" If Gage had gotten any closer he would've been kissing Mike. "Oh, you'll be sorry you little bitch. Get on the floor and get ready to give me some pushups." Mike put his booklet down and got flat on his stomach. Gage glared at his partner Xavier. "What the fuck are you waiting for? An invitation? Get down there with him!" As Xavier got down on his stomach someone in the pledge line laughed softly and only for a second, but Gage caught it. He was livid! He's eyes and nostrils actually flared. All I could think was FUCK! "Oh, I'm funny all of a sudden?" he barked down the line. "You fuckers think I'm here for your amusement? Sweet! Then, just for you viewing enjoyment, I'm going to amuse you all! Everyone get down and get ready for some pushups." Gage walked over to Bone and whispered something in his ear. Bone threw his head back, laughing his ass off. "I love it!" Then I saw his shoes run past me. Gage paced silently for a minute leaving us all kissing the floor in fearful anticipation. "You fuckers are going to learn a little respect," he lectured as he walked up and down the hall. "When I snap my fingers you're all going to start doing pushups and you can stop when the first guy drops." At face value, that didn't seem so bad. But this was The Brotherhood, and I just knew there was a major catch. Three minutes later Bone showed up holding a long black box - very sleek and shiny. I knew that was the catch. Bone held the box up to Gage as if he were presenting the key to the city. As Gage began to talk, Bone opened the lid. "The first guy that drops - let's call him the 'winner' - gets it in the ass with this." He pulled an enormous dildo from the box. At this point, everyone's jaw hit the fucking floor. I think I actually heard them. The thing had to be ten to twelve inches long and it looked fucking real. It was flesh toned, curved and had veins with a sack to boot. Gage laughed mockingly. "Actually, there's a funny story behind this monster. It belongs to one of the Brother's here in the house. And by 'belongs' I don't mean it's his personal play toy, it's an actual mold of his cock and balls." Those two were just falling over each other laughing. "As you can see the Brother is huge, so we all thought it'd funny as hell to persevere it for all future generations to enjoy." His tone turned a bit sinister, "And believe me girls, this dildo has seen it's fair share of pledge ass. Oh and by the way, the pledgemate of the guy that goes down first gets the honor of fucking you in the ass with this bad boy. So who's it going to be ladies?" You have got to be shitting me! I didn't even get to finish my thought when Gage snapped his fingers. If you've ever done a pushup in your life you know the first few are always the easiest. It's the ones that follow that become a real bitch. 10, 20, 30 pushups later everyone was still going strong. Our group was pretty well built. So as long as we kept a steady pace, this was anyone's game. I know we're all pledge brothers and we should be looking out for each other, but in this case, I was praying for a failure. I needed someone other than Arsen to fucking drop already. I hate to say it, but I honestly thought Steve would give out first. Yet we were at 44 and he was going at it like a mad man. The pace slowed significantly as we headed into the 50's. By 58 my arms felt like jelly and I was soaked in sweat. At 65 they started shaking uncontrollably and I wasn't the only one. Grunts and moans filled the hall as each pledge fought to complete that next pushup. It was only a matter of seconds before someone was going to drop like a rock. Finally I heard the loud thumb. Someone was down - out for the count. And I guess it really didn't hit me until Gage was kneeling in front of me that I had dropped first. He was looking down at me with a shit ass grin on his face. I looked down the line in disbelief. Oh god, it couldn't be! Surely someone had dropped before me! "That's for volunteering," Gage smirked. I looked at Arsen and he looked back at me completely horrified. My heart thrashed in my chest and I thought I'd throw up. "On your feet pledge and step up here!" Gage ordered and pointed to the middle of the hall. I was so screwed. Literally! I got on my feet with a little help from Arsen. Seriously, I was feeling a faint standing center stage for everyone's viewing pleasure. Arsen stood behind me and a little off to the side. Bone came up to us with the box still wide open. The fucking thing looked three times larger up close. "Oh fuck..." I mumbled. "Well?" Gage said. "We don't have all day. This wasn't part of our itinerary. But being the nice guy I am, I went out of my way to provide amusement for a group of fucked up pledges. And as a thank you, this is what I get? Stalling? Drop 'em ass wipe and bend over. From what I understand it's a lot easier to take that way." I wanted to punch the grin off his face. I put my hand on my belt buckle and hesitated. I looked at the rest of the guys and I could see how bad my boys felt for me. "I'm so sorry," Arsen whispered as I undid my belt. I held my breath as I slowly pulled down my zipper. I was so embarrassed. This could not be happening to me. Gage whacked the back of my head. "Hey shithead, I already told you we don't have all day. Drop your pants and grab your ankles!" I pulled my pants down to where you could just start to see my pubes when I was interrupted. "What's going on?" Everyone's head turned towards the stairs. Q was standing there with Shaun and Dylan on either side of him. Gage shrugged as Q approached. "Just handing out some much needed discipline. You know, business as usual." "I see," was all Q said. He looked inside the box Bone was still holding in front of me, then at me with my hands on my fly, and finally he returned his gaze to Gage. "Put it away and get the trial started. We don't have time for this." Shaun looked at Q with a mixture of shock and confusion. He was probably wondering the same thing as Gage - Why was Q stepping on Gage's toes? I was sure that Gage was well within his rights to dish out discipline. By the look on his face, this was not sitting well with him. "Q, I was just doing my..." "Do you really want me to repeat myself?" Q interjected, his left brow raised slightly. "No, of course not," Gage conceded thru clenched teeth. "We'll get the trail started right away." "Thank you," Q nodded. He looked at Shaun and Dylan and then without further discussion, all three walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner. I'm sure Shaun and Dylan were both just as confused at what happened. "Get back in line," Gage barked. He grabbed me by the arm as I walking away and pulled me back, damn near pressing his lips to my ear. "Considering yourself lucky pledge. I'm not going to go up against the big boss man, but remember this, your Big won't always be around to bail you out so you better watch your step." I picked up my booklet and took my place back in line next to Arsen. Gage stood there for a moment collecting his thoughts. He was definitely pissed off. I think I'd feel the same way if I were in his shoes. Q pretty much made him look irrelevant in front of the pledges and that had to eat him up. But even though I understood where he was coming from, I sure as hell was glad I didn't have to take anything up my virgin ass. So whatever... "Okay this is how it's going to work ladies, so pay attention," Gage spun on his heels to ensure he had everyone's attention. "You each have a booklet embossed with the name of the pledge you'll be partnered with for this trail. The books contain questions - lots of questions. Just when you think you're finished, you'll be hit with more questions. You'll ask your partner a question, he will answer and then he'll ask you the same question back. Each question must be read and asked out loud. Every question must be answered completely and truthfully. That is the whole point of this exercise. We're testing your honesty. Don't try and tell a half truth or a little white lie. We will know. Let me repeat that. We WILL know. Remember, this is The Brotherhood...there is little we don't know. Do not skip ahead. Do not read, glance at, think about or conjecture about the next question unless the previous one has been answered. You will continue filling out the books until you're done or until a Brother knocks on your door and tells you the trial is over." He paused and looked at his watch. "Any questions?" He waited for about half a second before he said, "Good, let's get to it." I was told to go into Ant's room with him, but before I left the hall, I wished Arsen good luck with Mike. I was so glad I didn't get stuck with that prick. "Dude," CJ said as he passed me and playfully slapped my stomach. I was expecting more but that was it. He's nothing if not a scholar. I walked into Ant's room. The moment he closed the doors, he pushed me from behind onto his bed and started lightly punching my sides. "You lucky shit!" he laughed. "You almost had to take an elephant cock up your ass." "Tell me about it!" I flipped him around and was now on top punching his arm. We just fell back laughing our asses off. "Holy shit! You have no idea how fucking scared I was." "I can imagine! When I saw the size of that thing I thought they were planning on tearing you a new one. But I'm sure you would've enjoyed it anyway. Come on, admit it. You wanted it." "Yeah, I love the idea of being split in two in front of an audience!" "I can hear you now," he laughed, then started moaning. "Oh fuck me...harder, harder...shove that big dildo up my ass!" "Fuck off!" I laughed and shoved him off the bed. The banter kept up, and so did the horse play. He kept teasing me and I kept threatening violence, but in a brotherly way. It was just what I need to calm my nerves. God I love that kid! He was so easy to get along with and so much fun to be around. Ant was definitely the heart of our little crew. Eventually we had to stop and get down to business. "Let's get the ball rolling," he said, grabbing his booklet and breaking the seal with the pen. I followed his lead and sat in front of him on the floor with my legs crossed. "Okay, first question..." OH...MY...GOD! The questions were out of control and asinine. They asked everything under the sun and then some. It started off with the basic demographic. Name, age, where you're from and all that crap. It went downhill from there, just page after page of the dumbest questions imaginable. From my favorite number and color, to the street I grew up on and the name of my first pet - they wanted it all. Favorite car, movie, actor, blah, blah, blah. We did as we were told, and continued on, but each inquiry begged the same reaction from us. What was the fucking the point? The questions were tedious sure, but more importantly, the answers were boring. What would be the point to lying about them? If this was a trial, it seemed to be challenging our patience, not our honesty. "What is this?" Ant asked, flipping thru the pages we just finished, but not daring to look ahead at the other billion pages. I shrugged. "Who fucking knows?" I rubbed my throat and swallowed hard. "My throat is dry as hell." "Who gives a damn if I ever cheated on a test in high school? Or if I can play freaking poker?" Ant ranted. I started laughing. "As much fun as it is to hear you bitch, let's keep going. I want this to be over." "I guess," he nodded and asked me the next question. I won't bore anyone with a list of all the mundane questions they asked; I certainly don't have the time or energy to go thru it all again. We had just turned to page 36, when one of the Brothers entered the room. He didn't say a word, he just threw us each a bottled water and handed me a digital voice recorder. I looked hesitantly at Ant, mentally asking him if I should ask the Brother what the recorder was for. He didn't have to say a word, the look on Ant's face clearly said, 'Don't do it.' I followed his silent advice and kept quiet until the Brother left. "What do you think?" I asked as took a gulp of my water. "Are we supposed to start using the recorder instead of writing shit down now?" "No clue," he answered with a shrug. "I say we just keep doing what we're doing until we have reason to do otherwise." So the questions continued. We started to notice every so often they'd throw in a serious question here and there. The kind that forced you to stop and think if you really wanted to answer truthfully. For example, we had to ask if we ever witnessed any domestic violence in our home. It was like they threw us a curve ball, as it followed a question that simply asked if we'd ever been to France. Ant and I both answered no to the domestic violence and France questions. Regardless of the question I was telling the truth and I was hoping Ant was doing the same. I think he did. Around page 35, the bullshit questions started to get interesting, personal and sexual. "Um..." Ant blushed and suddenly looked uncomfortable. "What?" I inquired. Then he started laughing. "How old were you when jerked off for the first time?" "What? Are you fucking serious? It says that?" I tried to look inside the book with my name on it, but he pulled it away. "Hey man, I'm just reading what's in the book. Don't shoot the messenger!" It wasn't really a big deal. The question didn't bother me at all but it was just so out of the blue it took me by surprise. "Hmmm, let me think. Wouldn't want to get this wrong," I laughed. "I think I was twelve. At least as far as I can remember." Ant was eleven. The next question asked if we ever tasted our own load and we both answered yes to that one. Seriously, what guy has tried it at least once? We threw a few more questions at each other then Ant asked me if I've ever eaten pussy. Of course I answered yes. Ant, on-the-other-hand, answered no when I asked him. I have to admit that kind of surprised me. A stud like Ant hasn't eaten pussy? The next question was if I ever sucked a cock. I answered no. Even though I had this 'thing' going on with Q we actually hadn't done anything heavy. I have to admit, the tone of these new questions started to freak me out a little. What if there was a question in there that would give Q and I away? Of course if a question like that came up I'd have to lie thru my teeth, but I was still afraid the Brother's might somehow know the truth. I could only hope Q would cover it up on his end. "So same question back at you," I said, "have you ever sucked a cock?" I automatically started to write in 'NO' figuring that would be the answer. But when Ant didn't answer me right away, I stopped and looked up at him. Ant was like a hundred miles away, absently tapping the book with his pen. "Yo Ant!" He still didn't say anything - even after I snapped my fingers at him. "Okay...I'll just put you down for a 'NO' then." "Don't," he said just as I started to write. "The answer is yes." I wrote down his answer and left it at that. Yes, I was shocked and a bit curious but I didn't ask. And it was clear he wasn't going to volunteer any information, so I sure as hell wasn't going to ask him for any. Something was clearly on his mind for it took him a minute to collect himself, but he eventually flipped the page and asked me some lame ass question I don't even remember anymore. I do remember this though, when I flipped my page, expecting to find the same lass ass question it wasn't there. Instead, there was a white sticker over the question with instructions on it. "Well this is new," I said looking up at Ant. "It says to start the recorder and remove the sticker when I'm ready to ask the question. I'm not supposed to stop or interrupt you until you're done." I reread the question, then looked up at Ant. "What do you think that's all about?" "No idea," he answered pointing at the next question in his book, "but it looks like I have a similar question for you. There's a sticker in this book too." "Well only one way to find out." I started the recorder and pulled off the sticker. I don't know why, but I did it quickly, like pulling off band-aid. "Describe in detail how your first relationship came about and why it's now your most painful memory." I kind of pulled my brows together and jerked my head back a little. "That's a fucking odd question." I smirked and looked up at Ant. It was like I was looking at a ghost. His face was pale and his expression was blank. He spaced as if I had just told him he dog died or some shit. Clearly, Ant wasn't expecting that question to be thrown at him. I wanted to say something to him. You know, to make sure he was okay, but I remembered the sticker warning not to interrupt him while the recorder was on. So I just sat there in awkward silence. I didn't know where to look, it felt wrong to just stare at him. So I gave him his space by looking aimlessly around the room. I couldn't help but wonder what question was waiting for me under Ant's sticker. It couldn't possibly be same question I asked Ant. It wouldn't apply, I don't have that kind of experience to share with him. But I figured it had to be something that would make me just as uncomfortable as I made Ant feel. I felt like such a dick for doing that to him. But I was under orders, at this point, all I could do was wait until he told his story. "I uh...I uh..." I looked at him the moment he started to speak. He wasn't looking at me. Instead, his eyes were fixed on some random spot on the floor. "I grew in your typical white suburban neighborhood complete with the soccer moms, minivans, and SUV's in the driveways. It was the kind of place where the worst crime you might hear about was someone jaywalking or a kid stealing penny candy from the corner store. You know, some bullshit like that. It was small town, but it was our town and everyone loved it. It was the kind of place where you knew everyone and you always felt safe." I'm guessing a random memory came to him because he laughed to himself before he continued. "When I was five, the family across the street moved away. I remember because the entire neighborhood made a big deal about it by throwing them a block party as a going away gift. I don't remember much about it, you know, being five and all. But to this day, people still talked about it. Apparently it was a big hit. "Anyway, a few months later the house was bought by the Rodriguez family. They were the first Hispanic family to move into our neighborhood. Actually they were the first non-white family period. To say the least, my mom was worried about them. She was afraid they wouldn't be accepted at face value. You know how small towns can be...close knit, self preserving, hard to break into. So mom made it her personal mission to make sure they got a fair chance." Ant smiled and looked at me for the first time since he started talking. "My mom is cool like that." "So two days after the family settled in, my mom organized the other neighborhood ladies into an ad hoc welcoming committee and knocked on the Rodriguez's front door. They were warm, friendly, down to earth and an instant hit. The whole neighborhood loved them. They brought with them a special kind of flavor our community was seriously lacking. My mom and Teresa really hit it off and our two families became really close. The cool thing for me was they had a five your old son, Alessandro. Oddly enough our birthdays fell on the same day so we always celebrated them together. "Alessandro and I were inseparable. It started off with play dates in the afternoon that turned into sleepovers as we got older. We had daycare together, pre- school, and all that jazz. We became like brothers." He laughed suddenly and threw his head back. "In fact the joke in the neighborhood was that we were brothers form another mother. I loved it. He was my best friend in the whole world." Ant stopped suddenly. I don't know if he was just collecting his thoughts or if he just remembered something unpleasant, but it looked to me like something was bothering him. "For our 12th birthday we had a huge party over my house. All the kids came over and there were a ton of us all around the same age expect for Ricky. At sixteen he was the oldest boy on our block and all the boys looked up to him as if he was God's gift to everybody...especially the girls. He was the oldest, and be default, that made him the coolest. He was already six feet tall with a nice jock build. To us kids he was damn near an adult. Plus, he went out with Missy. She was the prettiest girl on the block and a year older than him. That alone scored him major points with our crew. "All the boys wanted to be like him and he knew it. So when he was at our party that afternoon, he kept showing off by making out with Missy in plain sight of us. Soon, everyone was talking all this crap about what they would do if they had a hot ass girlfriend like Missy. Remember, we were barely 12 years old, it's not like we had any idea what the fuck we were talking about." He laughed softly. "At one point during Ricky and Missy's deep tongue kissing session, I remember looking at Alessandro and thinking how nice he looked, how grown. It was summer and hot as hell so none of us guys had our shirts on, especially since we had just finished playing an intense game of freeze tag. We were always outdoors playing all sorts of games and sports so even at twelve our bodies were already starting to take shape. In my head, I remember us looking more like 14 year-olds, but honestly, that might just be a distorted memory. But it wasn't Alessandro's build that made him stand out, it was his complexion. I mean there he was, an amazing bronzed body, in the midst of all these white boys. It was the kind of natural tan any white person would slap their grandma to achieve." I busted out laughing and keep in mind reading this not the same as hearing it directly from Ant. Trust me it was funny shit! "Plus he had these dazzling green eyes that stood out like two bright beacons set against the evening sky; long, wavy hair as black as the darkest night; a smile that could take a hold of you when you least expect it..." Ant trailed off, lost in his memories. After hearing him describe Alessandro, I began to get the picture. It was kind of sweet actually and I couldn't help but smile. "That night Alessandro slept over my house. My parents always let us stay down in the basement family room during sleepovers. It was nice because my friends and I would have our privacy and my parents rarely came down after we ate dinner. So we were lying on the floor on our stomachs, side by side, should to shoulder, dressed for bed in only our boxer briefs. We were reading some gaming magazine and talking about the party, and Ricky in particular. " 'I don't get what the big deal is,' Alessandro said to me. 'Ricky slips Missy his tongue and all the guys go ape shit over it. Like they've never seen a guy and girl kiss before. They've got cable, don't they?' " 'I know!' I agreed. 'But I bet half the guys that were here tonight probably jack off to the thought of kissing Missy.' "We laughed our asses off. " 'Not me!' Alessandro insisted as if he was taking some big stand. 'She really doesn't do it for me.' " 'Bull!' I countered. " 'No really,' he kept insisting. 'She's not even my type.' " 'Oh really? What's your type then?' "He was looking at me and I was staring at him, waiting for him to answer me. The answer he gave wasn't the one I was expecting. He simply leaned over and kissed me on the lips. I was fucking stunned. I couldn't move or say a word. My best friend of seven years just kissed me. What was I supposed to say to that? "The second Alessandro realized what he had done, he freaked out, bolted out of the basement and ran outside. It took me a few seconds to snap out of it and run after him. Now picture this! Two boys running from backyard to backyard in their underwear at like two in the morning. And for some reason all the neighbors thought it'd be a good idea to have their sprinklers going at the same time. "I wanted to yell out his name, but I really didn't feel like waking up half the neighborhood so all I could do was run after him. Alessandro was fast but as every game of tag had ever proved - I was faster. It didn't take me long to catch up to him. I grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to stop " 'Hold on!' I said to him as I spun him around. The bastard punched me! I was dazzled and had to take a few steps back. We were in the Corbin's back yard and it was sprinkler central. With every spin of the sprinkler head, our body's were assaulted with a cold water. Before long we were drenched. And my cheek was bright red. I could tell he felt bad the second he saw me rubbing my cheek. " 'Ant, I'm so sorry!' he said, walking towards me with his hand outstretched. "The second he got close enough I fucking decked him in the jaw and tackled his ass to the ground. It was the first time we ever got physical with each other. Yeah we horsed around all the time and loved wrestling with each other but this was different. His had anger behind it. "I landed on top of him and pinned his hands over his head so he couldn't hit me. He starts yelling for me to get off him. All I could think was this idiot is going to wake up the whole neighborhood, especially my parents. So what did I do to shut him up? I start kissing him. Just like that. I wanted to punch him but instead I kissed him. He struggled for all of two seconds, then kissed me back. It wasn't a quick peck like before. This time there was some serious making out going on. "Not to gross you out or anything, but I felt him get hard against my crotch which was already rock solid itself. He started grinding into me as we kissed. Without a second thought, I returned the favor. After teasing and grinding for like five minutes, I decided got bolder. I reached down between us and slipped my hand into his boxer briefs. I gave his cock a nice hard squeeze. He responded to my touch with a moan, then bit down softly on my lower lip. I was in heaven. It was the first time I ever touched another guy's piece and it felt incredible to me. I slowly jerked his cock and he was quick to slip his hand into my underwear and return the favor. "For a moment we completely forgot we were jerking each other off at 2am, in the middle of the Corbin's back yard under spinning sprinklers. But it felt so fucking right. We kissed harder and jerked faster. I remember him biting my ear and whispering he was about to cum. A few seconds later, I felt his warm load all over my hand. He felt the same thing a few seconds after that. "As we came down from our high, I rolled off him and laid by his side. 'That was hot,' I said between breaths. "He couldn't even speak so he just nodded. I put my hand up in the air so the sprinklers would wash away the cum and we both started laughing hysterically, especially when he ended up doing the same. "That's when the Corbin's kitchen light came on. We jumped up and ran like hell back to my place, laughing the whole way there. There was a lot of talking to be done that night. We were open and honest about our feelings for each other which lead to some pretty amazing self discovery. Not to mention a lot of exploration and firsts that night. We were a little freaked out because we knew what it all meant. The only thing we knew about gays was stuff we saw on T.V or the jokes people cracked about them in school. Still, we decided to take a chance and see where we'd end up." He paused for a moment, slipped his hand thru his hair and rested his face on his open palm. "I was so in love," he added. The pain in those words it made my stomach twist. "I'm sure you're thinking what do two twelve year olds know about love?" Ant smirked softly. "But it's true! It wasn't a onetime thing or a phase we were going thru. Even though we had to keep it all secret, it felt very real. It was very real. We were together all thru junior high and high school. Six amazing years together; I mean we had our ups and downs like any other couple. We sure as hell weren't perfect, but when all said and done we grew more in love with each day. Alessandro was everything to me. "We dated girls, of course, to keep up appearances, but we hated every minute of it. Every couple months or so we'd date some random girls from school for a month or two so people wouldn't talk. And I don't know what it was but we always managed to get the innocent yet slutty girls who were more than willing to jump down our pants. I don't know if there was just something in the water or what, but it was fucking annoying as hell. Kissing was as far as we were willing to go with our 'girlfriends' because actually sleeping with them was a thought we simply wouldn't consider. I mean we were already using them for our own sakes, so sleeping with them would be an all time low. Besides, we too much in love with each other to just sit back knowing we were screwing other people. "We did all the normal shit couples did like go to the mall or the movies, but we usually did double dates so Alessandro and I could be together. It was pretty funny walking around with our arms around them while we were making eyes at each other. They probably wouldn't have felt the same way, but that's all water under the bridge now." "A little mischievous grin appeared on his lips. 'I remember one time when we were like seventeen the four of us went to the movies. The theater wasn't busy at all, at least not for that movie, but we still sat way in the back. Our girls sat between us and we started making out with them at some point. The girls were totally into it, with their eyes closed and everything. Yet the whole time we were kissing them, we were looking at each other rolling our eyes. We were actually holding hands behind the seats. We did shit like that all the time. Mostly to see what we could get away with, especially in public. "Alessandro winked at me, nodded towards the screen and then pulled away from Mandy. 'Babe I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back.' He got up and slapped me in the head as he walked by me. " 'Yeah I have to go too,' I whispered and followed him out. "The bathrooms were empty because none of the movies had let out yet. Alessandro didn't waste any time. He backed me into one of the stalls and started kissing me right away. Before I could come up for air, he locked the door, pushed me against it and started to devour my lips and neck. I was so fucking hot for him. He lifted my shirt up and kissed and nibbled his way down to my right nipple. He knew when I got really horned up they got really sensitive so he'd always suck on them just to drive me fucking crazy. He was on my nipple for a good minute while ran my hand thru his hair and down his back. "I couldn't take it anymore! I was so fucking hard for him. I put my hands on his shoulder and slowly pushed him down to his knees. He rubbed and massaged the length of my cock thru my jeans before he damn near tore them open and buried his face in my boxer briefs. He sucked on my head thru my underwear, lapping up all the precum I was leaking out. He loved to tease my dick like that. I..." Ant broke off suddenly and looked up at me. "Man, I'm really sorry! I'm sure you don't want to hear any of this. I guess I kind of forgot where I was and who I was talking to," he laughed. Are you fucking kidding me? He couldn't stop now! I was boned up and hard as a rock listening to his story. This was all new to me so I was very intrigued by the whole thing. "Dude, don't worry about it I don't mind. Besides," I pointed down to the question, "it says you have to describe in detail so you really can't stop now. Really it's cool." "You sure?' "I'm fine. Go for it. So he was sucking you thru your boxers and..." "Yeah, so there he was on his knees sucking on my knob thru my underwear and I'm going fucking crazy. 'Babe just suck me...please,' I begged in between moans. Yeah, he wasn't listening to me. He reached up with one hand and tweaked my nipple and massaged my balls thru my underwear with his other hand. After a couple of minutes of this torture he finally pulled my boxers down. My cock sprang out like a board and smacked him in the face. He looked up at me laughing before he took my dick his mouth. I moaned so fucking loud it echoed thru the restroom. With six years of practice, Alessandro was an expert at taking care of my needs that's for damn sure. He was sucking and jerking my cock while slurping up all the precum that was oozing out. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the door, with my hand behind his head feeding him my throbbing cock. I couldn't stop moaning. He was just that good! And every little noise I made only fueled his desire to devouring my cock even more. He deep throated my cock until his noise was buried in my bush and I felt him inhaling in my scent. It was so fucking horny! "He'd let my cock slide out of his mouth and pushed it against my stomach so he could lick and bit down on a certain spot under the head. He knew it drove me fucking nuts and he just loved to see my cock pump out the precum. " 'I'm going to cum soon!' I don't know how I managed to say that much in one breath. That all the energy I had left. He took my cock deep in his mouth again and just held it there. He did this thing where he massaged the head of my cock with the back of my throat. I lost control. " 'Oh fuck!' I was done! I was banging my head against the door as I blasted his mouth with cum over and over again. My knees felt like they were about to give out from under me, so I pushed against the stall walls just to keep myself from collapsing. He was sucking me off trying to get every last drop. "As good as that was, this is where things really got interesting. I opened my eyes and saw this dude looking down at us from over the stall. I have no idea how long he was there but I could definitely tell he was jerking off. He had his eyes half closed and his arm moving wildly. Yeah, he was jerking it for sure. I have to say, he wasn't all that bad looking. He had shaggy blond hair, blue eyes and was around our age I'd say. Maybe a couple years older. It took him a second to realize I was looking dead at him. He fucking froze and I really didn't know what to do. Alessandro was still on my cock. "I don't know what got into me but I grinned and winked at him to assure him it was cool. Alessandro spun me around and attacked my ass with his tongue. My hands were clinging to the top of the stall door and my back was perfectly arched to give Alessandro access to my hole, which he tore up. I'm telling you he had a magic tongue. He wasn't down there long before I heard him undoing his belt and opening up jeans. He worked over my ass just enough to get me nice and wet. Slowly Alessandro stood up, kissing and licking his way up my spine until his hard cock slipped between my ass cheeks. He kissed my neck and licked my ear as he slowly ground his cock into me, coating my ass with precum. "I begged him to fuck me and this time he listened. I felt him place his cock against my hole and I couldn't wait so I pushed back against it and felt it pop inside me. " 'Oh fuck baby...' Alessandro breathed into my ear as I continued to impale myself on his hot, throbbing rod until I felt his balls against my ass. He then slipped his hand around my neck and pulled me back against his chest so we could kiss while his cock was buried deep in my ass. "I slipped my hand up the back of his neck, grabbed a fist full of his hair and pulled his head back so he could see the guy who was jerking off one stall over. Alessandro stopped everything and we both stared at the guy. At this point, he stopped jerking as well. Everyone just stood there frozen, not sure of what to do next. Personally, I was fucking horny as hell and didn't give shit that kid was getting off on us. "I pulled Alessandro towards me and kissed him. 'Fuck me..." I whispered to him and squeezed my ass around his cock. "He bent me forward and started fucking me like he'd never fucked me before. Oh my god! I was the most intense fuck ever! Knowing someone was watching us really got his juices going. He pounded my ass like it was the last piece he'd ever have, the sound of his balls slapping my ass bounced off the walls. I was loud as hell too and I usually don't make that much noise when we have sex but I sure as hell couldn't help it that night. My cock never really went completely soft but I was rock hard again and pumped it while my man fucked me hardcore. " 'I'm cumming!' he damn near yelled and pulled be back up against him so we could kiss. A few moments later I felt him shoot his load deep inside my ass. It was the fucking hottest thing ever! He slapped my hand away and jerked me off furiously as his cock deposited the last of his load inside me. "We looked up at the kid as Alessandro kissed me from behind and jerked me off. I heard the kid mumble 'oh shit' and saw his body start convulsing with pleasure so I knew he was spewing his shit all over the stall wall. Just seconds later I exploded for the second time all over the door with my man's cock still buried deep inside my ass. "Alessandro slowly pulled out of me and we collapsed onto the toilet seat panting heavily. You would have thought we'd just run a hundred mile marathon. " 'Thanks for the show!' the kid grinned. 'It was fucking hot!' " 'No problem,' Alessandra answered. 'But lets keep this between us, okay bud?' " 'Are you kidding me,' he laughed. 'I'm here with my girl watching a movie. She'd kill me if she knew what I was doing.' " 'So are we!' "We all cracked the fuck up! "We got an ear full when we returned to the theater. The girls simply didn't understand why we were MIA for almost twenty minutes. We broke up with them that night and went over to the mall parking lot where I gave his ass a good pounding. We discovered having sex in public places really got us horned up. I confess, after that night, we started doing it everywhere!" Ant laughed. "We were prefect together, so happy and so much in love. In six years our love never faded, not even a little. Eventually, after all that time, we got tired of constantly having to be careful and afraid someone was going to out us. About a month before we turned eighteen, we decided to come out to our parents. We were scared as hell. We actually flipped a coin to see whose parents we'd tell first and I lost. "I was so fucking nervous that night. We came downstairs from my room and sat on the couch across from my parents. I was so fidgety and couldn't sit still. My mom instantly got the concerned 'mom-look' on her face. " 'Mom, Dad...we have something we want to tell you,' That was all I was able to say. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the words out. I kept choking up and I even start to tear up a little. I couldn't do it. The last thing I wanted to do was break my parent's hearts. Alessandro took the lead and slipped his hand into mine. He then put his other arm around me. That's all it took. My mom covered her mouth and started to cry. My father stood up. I braced myself for the yelling match that was about to ensue. "But my dad surprised me by sitting next to Alessandro and putting his arms around us. Then my mom sat next to me and did the same. Alessandro and I looked at each other wondering what weird dimension we walked in it. Apparently my parents had always suspected there was more going on between us than we let on. They just never said anything; they thought it best to wait until we were ready to tell them ourselves. "So all and all it wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be. I mean there was a lot more to it than that; about two days worth of discussions but in the end everything turned out okay. "The following week we decided to tell Alessandro's parents. We weren't as nervous this time around. Everything went so well with my parents and like them, Alessandro's folks loved me like a second son. We found ourselves in the same situation; sitting on a couch across from his parents. Alessandro didn't waste any time even though I could tell he was getting nervous. He just came right out and said the words 'I'm gay' and his parents just looked us. His father sort of laughed and asked if he was joking. Alessandro choked out a small 'no.' His father rubbed his face and fell silence. "Out of nowhere his father exploded with anger. We jerked back when he stood up because it looked like he was about to hit us. He was yelling so loud we could barely understand him. His mom just sat there, shaking her head and balling her eyes out. A few minutes ago, I was like a son to him. Now he was calling me every name in the book" Ant stopped his story. He took a deep breath, then looked at me with tears in his eyes. "I'm not going to repeat them, Jacob." I simply shook my head in understanding. I didn't know what else to say. Ant looked down at the bed for a minute, then wiped his eyes. Again he looked at me. "Did I mention how much I loved Alessandro?" I smiled gently, "Yes, a couple of times." He nodded and smiled too, but his smile had an inherent sadness to it. Another deep breath, and Ant continued on with his story. "That's when he smacked the hell out of Alessandro." "Who?" I know I wasn't supposed to interrupt, but I was lost. "His father. He had always been strict, even harsh, but neither of us expected this kind of violent reaction. I know it took Alessandro by surprise. From his position on the couch, it was all he could do to protect his head and upper body. I got pissed and shoved his dad backward. He raised his hand to hit me but managed to control himself. He was shaking, but he just yelled for me to get out. When I didn't move, his mom started screaming. This was my fault and he wanted me out. I wasn't welcome in their home...my second home for more than 13 years. "I couldn't take it anymore. The last thing I heard as I ran out was his father telling me to 'stay the fuck away from their son.' I could hear Alessandro trying to follow but his father must've stopped him because he never came. I walked home fuming mad. By this time his family had moved two blocks down and around the corner to a bigger house, so unfortunately I had a little walk ahead of me. People I knew passed by me on the street. They tried to start up a conversation with me, but I blew them off. I got home and went to straight to my room. "A little while later I got a text from Alessandro telling me to just give everything sometime to blow over, and not to worry if we didn't talk for awhile. His father was taking everything away from him...his cell phone, his computer, his car...basically he was grounded for eternity. He told me to give it two weeks and he'd find a way to swing by my place; any sooner and we might just make matters worse. I told him I was cool with that and that I'd miss him. He replied back 'ditto'. "Two weeks came and went. I so desperately wanted to see him. I hadn't heard a single word from him in all that time. I figured his father had him on some serious lockdown. I didn't even dare walk or drive on their street for those two weeks. I was so depressed, I barely left my room anyway. All I wanted to do was be with him. "Two and half weeks later I was done waiting around. I couldn't take another day without him. I decided to pay Alessandro a visit. I left my house around one in the morning and went thru all the backyards so I could come up behind his house. You know, just in case anyone was up. There was this big ass tree by his window I used to use to sneak in and out of his room during school nights. "The blinds were shut so I softly knocked on his the window but he never answered. I tried a few more times and still nothing. I tried the window and was surprised to find it unlocked. I felt like an idiot." Again, Ant stopped telling his story. At least out loud. The look on his face, the pain in his eyes told me that somewhere inside his mind, every agonizing moment was playing out in vivid detail. "I uh..." He rubbed his eyes. "I stepped thru the window into an empty room. There was nothing inside but some boxes and loose paper. The whole house was empty." He paused for moment as the first few tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. "I kept saying to myself this can't be happening; that it wasn't really happening. But no matter how many times I said those words, it didn't change the fact that he was gone. It really hit hard when I was standing in their empty living room, replaying the night we came out to his parents over and over in my head. "I ran up to his room again and stomped on the floor. There was a loose floor board he used to use to hide all his porn and if I were him I know what I'd do. Sure enough there was nothing left but an envelope. I tore thru that sucker like it had a check for ten million dollars inside. Honestly, I would've paid that much to have him back again. I still would. There was a letter inside, addressed to me. I've read it so many times, it's become a permanent part of me. He wrote: " 'Anthony, my truest love, I'm so sorry for the way things went down with my parents. I had no idea they were going to act like that. Please believe I would never have put you thru that if I had known. If you're reading this, your obviously sitting in my empty room. My father got a little crazy that night. You remember that job he was offered overseas but had turned down because he didn't want to move us away from our friends and family? Well, he called them back and took the job. Now, as I write this, I'm only hours away from boarding a plane to London. Crazy isn't it? He keeps talking about sending me some kind of military school to 'straighten me out.' He sounds pretty serious about it. I have to admit, I'm scared. " 'I'm so sorry you have to find out this way but I couldn't get a message to you. He pretty much had me under lock and key. I was never allowed out of his sight. My father can be pretty scary when he wants to be. I won't even talk about the beating he gave me that night. " 'I just want you to know that I love you. I've always loved you and I will never stop loving you. We may have an entire ocean between us now but that won't be enough to keep us apart. I promise you! Stay strong for me and know that I will find you again. I'll do whatever it takes but I swear, I'll find you. " 'I love you so much baby - Alessandro.' " The tears were just flowing down his face like water. I was going to say something but he continued talking. "I read that letter and it hurt to breath. I couldn't move! I couldn't think! Touch me and I was in pain. I was on the floor crying my eyes out. I couldn't stop even if I had wanted to. It was like in that moment a part of me was torn away. They took him from me. They just took him from me..." He kept repeating that over and over again until he finally broke down and really started balling. Oh my god, my heart hurt for him. I've never heard anything so sad. Watching him cry like that made my eyes tear right up. This was Ant for crying out loud. One of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. I crawled over to Ant and hugged him close to me. He clung to me like a little kid does to a parent. "I miss him so much Jacob!" he cried into my shoulder. "It hurts to think about him!" "I know bud, I know..." I did my best to comfort him. I have to admit I couldn't stop a few tears from rolling down my cheeks as well. I don't care how hardcore you are, if you knew Ant and saw him like that you'd break down too. We were like that for ten minutes easy until he finally started to calm down some. The tears stopped and he was breathing normal again. He patted me on the side as he pulled away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all crazy on you. It's just..." "It's okay Ant. Don't worry about it. You're fine." I thought the best thing to do then was to lift his spirits. "So let me get this straight. Are you saying you're gay?" "You ass!" He laughed and punched my leg. It was the perfect way to lighten the mood. "What? I'm just curious. I didn't quite understand what you trying to say when you guys where in the bathroom stall. I'm slow sometimes..." We laughed and I ruffled his hair. "You okay?" Ant nodded. "Have you heard from..." "No...I haven't heard from him since." He smiled. "But I believe it when he says he'll find me." I ruffled his hair again and smiled along with it. "Good! Because I believe it too!" "Ugh!" he roared and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. "Okay I'm done being a little bitch! Let's just get this over with." "You sure you're okay?" "No, but I will be." He waited for me to move my ass back to where I was sitting. "Not to be an ass, but your question better be as fucked up as mine." "Oh, I'm sure it will be. Come hit me with it!" Ant cleared his throat and tore the sticker off. "Um...okay." He read the question to himself first and looked really confused. "Well that doesn't make any sense. How do they expect you to do that?" "Do what?" "Okay, it says here to describe your very first memory and the subsequent events." He snickered. "How the hell do they expect you to do that? I can barely remember what happened a month ago, never mind my memories as a baby. This can't be right." All I heard was "first memory." Then my world fell apart. My mouth went dry, my vision tunneled, my head felt heavy. Too heavy to hold up. I knew Ant was still talking, but everything seemed muffled, like my brain had swollen into my ears. The room was bright, yet everything seemed to black at the same time. Black...like that night. I was frozen in place as painful memories flooded my mind. The first ten years of my life are blank, making the first time I opened my eyes in those woods a memory I'd never forget. I was ten years old and being born for the first time - again. It sure as hell wasn't the most pleasant experience. There was screaming. Lots of screaming. Yet I was alone and terrified. This was not something I was ready to relive again. I'd never spoken about that night to anyone outside my immediate family and the police detectives. I always thought it would stay that way. "Hey are you okay?" Ant asked and shook my leg. "Huh...what?" "Dude are you okay? I look as bad as I feel right now." He reread the question again. "Maybe we should talk to one of the Brothers because this can't be right." "No, it's right," I said reluctantly. "Bullshit." "No, really Ant," I sighed. "No bullshit. My first memory...fuck, I can't believe after so many years I'm going to retell this story again. Just when the nightmares had stopped. I fucking hate my life..." __________ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/ For chapter 13 So there you have it. The 12th chapter of The Brotherhood, I hope you liked it. I will definitely continue the story, no problem, but it really depends on you guys. If you enjoyed what you read so far and would like to read more please drop me an email at thewriterxx@aol.com Take care, X