Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 16:54:31 -0800 (PST)
From: Journeyman Harper <journeymanharper@yahoo.com>
Subject: Development (gay male/sci-fi fantasy)

                         Development
                    By Journeyman Harper

This story is a flashback to a prequel. If you are reading
this for the first time, it will make more sense if you
ready the baseline story, "Legacy" first. If you decide to
skip that, and dive in here you will find a self-contained
work inside the lead-in and lead-out text. Many thanks to
those who kept asking for the prequel.

Star Trek, Deep Space Nine, etc. are all property of
Paramount Studios. All other characters are works of fiction
and bear no resemblance to anyone whatsoever, etc.

Welcome to Development!

***

Kerryn and Jacen lay in each other's arms, panting. It had
been especially good today. It was Jacen's seventeenth
birthday, and they had been together now as lovers and
partners for a year.

The mental link during their sex was never stronger, and
Jacen relished being so enclosed and protected. It was the
answer to all the loneliness he had always experienced. He
was himself, that was true, but he could always come back to
the one who would protect him, support him and love him.
That knowledge filled him with profound and deep joy.

Kerryn could feel the good feelings radiate from Jacen. A
flicker echoed through his mind that he had never had that
kind of security from another person. He had always been on
the edge. Not adventurous, but independent, and usually with
others depending upon him. The long years of being the only
reliable supplier of cargo through the Aurigaen Belt had
been formative, that way. That civilization had depended
upon him and his father.

Jacen felt the wandering of his lover's mind, somehow, and
realized that he still didn't know very much about the
Kerryn before they met, especially well before. Wesley
Crusher had told him some things, but some were also second
hand, or rumor. He felt suddenly a burning curiosity to
know.

"Kerryn?"

"Mmm?"

Jacen grinned. Kerryn was tired. "You old men tire so
easily."

"Ha. Someday I'll tell you about Zink." Now where did that
come from?

Jacen pounced on the opportunity. "Zink? I think I hear a
story I'd like to hear." He shifted slightly, and he felt
Kerryn's cock nestle back against his butt. Jacen loved the
intimacy. "I know so little about you before."

"I've given you the highlights."

"Yes, but I want to know more." He then took a daring
chance. "I don't suppose you could remember it into my
head?"

Kerryn was startled. "I've never thought of that. Reliving a
memory into someone else? It might take a while."

"We've got all night."

Kerryn grinned. "You really want this?" He reached over and
stroked Jacen's cock gently, sensually. "More than that?"

Jacen took a deep breath. Kerryn was such an incredible
lover. But his thirst for knowledge deepened. How did he
learn it all? "For now, yes. I want to know it all, Kerryn."

"All right." Kerryn sighed. Jacen had no idea what he was
going in for.

Naked and spooning, Kerryn snuggled as close as he could to
Jacen, their bodies fitting perfectly together. Shoulders
wrapped in arms, arms across chest, heads together on the
pillow, Kerryn slipped into Jacen's facile mind and searched
back in his own memories. Surprisingly, they were there, and
as he opened his mental eyes back to his earliest
recollections, he felt and heard Jacen gasp in awareness.
And the tapestry of Kerryn's life began to unfold.

***

He cried. It had been a week since she had left. She had
explained it carefully to him, her mental touch soft and
reassuring, yet sad at the same time. She loved him, and he
loved her, and they had shared that last mental exchange
before she left. Even now, he understood that it made her
feel so trapped and closed in on their home ship. But he
missed her. And his father was very sad too.

Little Kerryn was five Earth years old. It was his birthday.
It flashed through him that it was mean for her to leave
just before his birthday, but somehow he understood that she
had to. He had been able to help his mother through the
worst of it, sharing with her the memories of her homeworld
and the open air and skies that he someday might see. But it
had gotten harder and harder.

There was a big word for it. Claustrophobia. It was a word
that meant, to little Kerryn, that people got very scared in
small places. He loved small places, and could be found at
times hiding inside the smallest nook or cranny of their
ship. But when you are a freighter family, nearly all your
time is spent in space and in the closed-in confines of your
ship.

Doryn had joined his Betazoid wife seven years ago. Analee
Fori was a full Betazoid who, feeling the confines of the
Betazoid society had broken free and gone out as a trader's
assistant. She had met Doryn on Delvin Six, the Freighter's
Guild home planet during one of his brief stopovers. After
meeting to negotiate cargo, she had been caught off guard by
Doryn's sparkling eyes and easy manner. Her grin had gotten
her fired by her trader, and Doryn had felt so badly that
the he took her out to dinner. A brief courtship followed,
and the next time Doryn visited Delvin Six, she left with
him.

They had never formally married. Somehow, neither was quite
ready to take that ultimate step but they each were totally
devoted to each other. Doryn painted the walls to minimize
the closed-in effects of the ship, and for a while they were
happy.

Then, little Kerryn was born. With quite a normal birth on
Delvin Six, he spent the first couple months on the planet
with his mother. When he was able to walk, and had begun
talking in his often strident voice, they had embraced him
and decided that it was time to resume their shipboard life
style.

That transition did not go well. For one thing, Analee began
to suffer the closed-in paranoia of claustrophobia again.
Controllable, but anxious. Doryn became worried when she did
not adapt back to the lifestyle. But more prevalent than
that, little Kerryn screamed through his Terrible Twos,
laughed and shrieked with joy through the threes, tried to
dominate the universe in the Formidable Fours, and in
general was loud, busy and a physical and emotional drain on
his parents. Being in space, there were no nannies, very few
play dates, and no one he could really call a friend. And
that meant no relief for the parents.

So, here he was on his fifth birthday. His father was trying
to be cheerful, but Kerryn was half Betazoid and he could
already see through people's bluffs. So after some cake, and
a neat holographic target game, he decided to try talking to
his father.

"Daddy, will we ever see mommy again?"

Doryn felt the absence flood him. What could he say? "Little
Kerryn, I don't know. Maybe someday we can take the long
trip and visit Betazed where she lives. Or maybe she will
come visit us."

The little boy nodded. "I guess we will have to wait and
see, right?"

"That's right."

"Well, I'll do just what she used to do so that the ship and
you won't miss her."

Doryn regarded his little boy with pride. "That would be a
big help."

They each went out of their way for each other to cover the
gap left by Analee. Doryn knew it was unlikely she would
return. But just the same, he could not let the idea wither
away so fast. But it was not mentioned between them again
for a very long time.

Kerryn fundamentally changed that day. It was as if years of
idle childhood were washed away on a sandy beach. Sure, he
played with his toys, but he spent more time watching his
father. With no other guardian, he spent more time with his
father when Doryn negotiated deals, loaded and unloaded the
cargo, and went about the general business of a freighter
pilot.

For extended appointments, most starbases and freighter
exchange facilities had child-care play centers. Kerryn met
Illiar at one such location when he was seven. With only one
parent, and many exchange points to visit Kerryn was very
likely to see the same cluster of children occasionally. He
had seen Illiar before but never really met him. This time,
though the children were playing space ship and both Kerryn
and Illiar wanted to be captain.

They stood in the middle of their group, eyeing each other
closely as only children can do. Kerryn, being seven and
slightly younger, spoke first.

"I think I should be captain."

Illiar frowned. "Why you? It's my turn."

"I wasn't here yesterday. I get credit for being new today."

"Then you don't know our rules. That means you can't be
captain."

The adults watched in amused amazement as the two boys
negotiated for position. Finally, after everything from
strength, height, voice, experience, and number of planets
visited was exchanged, Kerryn rolled his eyes.

"All right, you can be captain if I can be Admiral."

Illiar fell for it. "Deal." He paused. "What's an Admiral?"

"The one who gives the captain the orders."

Illiar sighed. "All right." He straightened. "My name is
Illiar."

"I'm Kerryn. You were tough."

"So were you."

On that basis the friendship started. The strengths of the
two boys were obvious. Illiar was a charmer. His winsome
smile, his magical presence and his enthusiasm were a
positive flow throughout whoever was near by. Kerryn was
competent, stable, and almost obsessive with detail. Once he
got wrapped up in a project, he would not deviate from it
until either it was completed or it exploded. The latter
more often happened in play when the group would tire of the
same game.

Such an explosion took place during one of the visits when
Illiar was there with Kerryn. They were building a structure
with interlocking blocks, and Kerryn insisted over and over
on a proper foundation. It took an hour longer, and most of
the children were bored because their fortress wasn't done
for play yet. Finally, Illiar had to say something.

"Kerryn, forget about the bottom. We need the rest of it.
Everyone is tired of building rows."

"But it has to be done, otherwise it won't stay up. It's
only a few more-"

"That's what you said the last few times."

Kerryn dug in. "It won't stay up if we don't."

"No one will want to play if we do."

They stared at each other. And then Kerryn burst out, "Fine.
Go play. I'll finish this alone and then we can all use it."

The other kids went off to other things. Kerryn went back to
his rows. Illiar stood there, and then followed the group.
Kerryn finished another set of rows, and then the tears
flowed. Silently. Why did he have to do this? Couldn't he
just let it go? But then, it wouldn't be done right and it
would fall down. He put another row on. Eighteen more and he
would be done. The others were laughing, maybe at him, maybe
not. Was it fair for them to play and he to do this alone?
Inside him, it said yes, because that was what he said he
would do. Resolution surprising for one his age bloomed
through him. Whatever it took, even if he died a miserable,
horrible, lonely death from being crushed by these
interlocking blocks, this toy structure would be finished.
So there!

He looked up and saw Illiar standing next to him. He knew
Illiar could see the tears on his face. Defiantly, he said,
"It won't stay up if we don't do it right."

"It's OK." And Illiar started to lay on another row.

The teachers watched the entire exchange, and Doryn was
informed that Kerryn was ready for the Educational Program,
even though it was two years early.

Two weeks later, Kerryn was fully immersed in the
Educational Program Unit, or EPU. The EPU was a guided
tutorial system with student monitoring and feedback. It
would pace the student at the right pace, and could
recognize signs of boredom or distraction. Reports on
progress were sent both to the parents as well as to the
Freighter Guild, which was truly a pseudo-nation in its care
of its members.

The EPU fascinated Kerryn. He got the hang of the controls
quickly, and Doryn set aside an entire cabin for it with
lots of table space and materials. He then imparted the most
valuable information that Kerryn would ever learn.

"Neatness enables everything. You should use and keep this
room neat and organized. Things get dirty, and can get
cleaned up, and that's OK. Dirt happens. But mess, clutter,
piles of stuff, disorganization, there is no room for that
on a ship. It doesn't have to be attractive, either. But it
does have to be organized." And Doryn showed his son both by
example and by instruction how important it truly was.

"Thanks, Dad."

Doryn regarded his almost nine-year-old son with pride.
"Kerryn, from now on as well I want you with me when we
negotiate. You will need that too."

Kerryn grinned. "I've done pretty well so far."

"We'll see."

The trip through the Aurigaen Belt was upon them. This was
the longest string of short exchanges, and it would be four
months before they emerged. Kerryn saw an opportunity and
decided to snag it.

"Anyway, father, the EPU is very happy with me."

Doryn could smell a rat. "Yes, it has reported your
excellent progress."

"Well, it is customary for work well done to receive
compensation."

"True. Your customary compensation is room, board, and care
on this ship."

"Agreed, but that is more your obligation than compensation.
I am your blood descendant and responsibility until age
sixteen."

Doryn couldn't fault that. "I will concede that, although
you do have more than obligatory accommodations here under
my purview."

"So then, beyond my personal motivation, I have no incentive
to excel at the EPU?"

Doryn chuckled. "Big words!"

"Chalk it up to the EPU. Point, though?"

Doryn knew he was cornered. "Conceded. What did you have in
mind?"

Kerryn took a deep breath. "Access to the subspace nets. I
want to talk with my friends."

"Subspace costs money."

"Isn't proper socialization part of my obligatory
upbringing?"

"Now you are on two tracks!" Doryn grinned. "Never do that.
You are faulting me on lack of socialization as well as
justifying the cost as a reward for good progress."

"You are changing the subject." Kerryn knew that one cold.

They stood, and Doryn tried his playful tactic. "What were
we talking about?"

An opportunity! "You were granting me access to the subspace
nets at no cost."

"NO COST?!!"

Kerryn grinned.

Doryn clapped his hands. He was good. "What will you do to
offset the cost of the subspace access, should I grant it?"

Kerryn took a long breath. "I would think about any options
you would have."

Doryn nodded slowly. "Here are my terms. I want you to
optimize ship performance. We lose money hiring engineers to
tune the ship systems. You do the maintenance and repair,
and the difference I will allocate to the cost of the
subspace nets."

Kerryn's face fell. "That will take some time to accrue
before I can get on the nets."

"Deal?"

Kerryn sighed. It was a good deal. "Deal."

"Good. Now, as a reward for excellent performance, I will
give you the cost of a year's unlimited access to the
subspace nets."

Suspicious. "A year on what planet?"

Doryn chuckled. "An Earth year."

Doryn was not ready for what happened next. Kerryn leaped
onto his father in a huge hug. "Thanks so much, Dad!"
Neither of them were demonstrative under normal
circumstances, but this moment spanned many years of much-
needed family interaction. And so Kerryn joined the spread-
out community of his friends.

That community became his lifeline. When Kerryn turned
twelve, he had completed the EPU, four years ahead of
schedule. Doryn then updated the unit for the Basic
Navigation and Operations program, and Kerryn was introduced
into the virtual world of piloting small one-seat ships.

His first flight was memorable. After completing all the
theory for flight, he sat in the simulation chair, and
studied the controls. A Level One cockpit had a flight
stick, thrust and counter-thrust, and navigation displays.
He sat, wiggled the stick, played with the buttons, and then
started the simulation. The instructions gave him all lights
green, and he gave some thrust which blasted him off and
immediately into a bulkhead, crashing. Less than two
seconds.

But he got better. Within three weeks he was doing
acrobatics, could land and launch flawlessly, and could
execute maneuvers that sent his father to the toilet. He
continued the EPU program, and flight training until as a
single pilot there wasn't a ship he couldn't fly. The Level
Two cockpit added additional controls, warp drive, shields
and phasers. Kerryn played war games with the simulated
dogfights, and eventually coordination of squads.

At age thirteen, he hit Level Three. Level Three added two
key features to the program: command of a small crew on a
larger ship, and subspace networking to other players. The
simulators were not sophisticated like a holodeck would be,
but audio cues and verbal commands were used to guide and
control the ships. Kerryn practiced and practiced and
practiced with his four-person crew until one day an
invitation appeared on his subspace link.

Dear Simulator Pilot:

We are organizing an exercise for the Flight participants
and would like you to participate. If interested, please
submit your evaluation record for consideration and
placement.

Regards,

Commander, Freighter Guild Pre-Flight School

"DAD!!!"

Doryn entered the classroom. "Something going on?"

"Look at this!" Kerryn showed his father the message. "Any
idea what this is about?"

Doryn knew. As a child, his best friend had gotten one.
"Kerryn, that is a very rare ticket into flight school. Very
few kids get them." He grinned widely, and explained that
the school conducted a subspace-networked exercise among the
selected pilots in their simulators as a pre-qualifying run
for Flight School. "If you get in, and perform as
advertised, you get invited to Flight School! I'm so proud
of you, Kerryn!"

Together they signaled acknowledgement, and the evaluation
profile was sent. Kerryn waited anxiously for a few days for
a response, but these things are slow to act. Illiar had
been invited too, and that just fueled their excitement.

Kerryn and Illiar had been in almost daily contact now that
he had subspace access. Illiar's parents were wealthy, and
had a much larger and more modern vessel than the Totentanz.
Both were well respected in the Guild. Once in a while the
two vessels would cross paths, and nearly always they would
stop together for a few hours of camaraderie. They were
growing, although Illiar was nowhere near as far along on
the EPU as Kerryn was.

He finished up the advanced EPU program, and then one day en
route when he was working on the warp drive it started
dumping diagnostics on him. The problem was, they were all
in Romulan. The Totentanz used a modified Romulan warp core
for propulsion, and while the main parts of the core used
Interlac to communicate, the diagnostics were still in
Romulan. Kerryn started swearing, and called up to the Nav
deck.

"Dad, I'm back here in Propulsion. We've got a problem."

"Oh?"

"We're going to have half efficiency on the warp core. There
are diagnostics everywhere but they are all in Romulan. Do
you know any Romulan?"

"Only a few fragments. Keep an eye on it, but we'll get a
tech at the next starbase to look at it."

A few moments, then, "I'm sorry."

Doryn laughed. "Not your fault."

Later, on impulse, Kerryn connected the EPU to subspace and
tried to search for a module on languages. Romulan drive
systems were popular in the Guild, and as a result he found
several modules on conversational Romulan language, formal
High Romulan and Technical Romulan. Downloading all three,
Kerryn dug into language as his next course of study.

He told Illiar about it, but Illiar shrugged. "What good is
Romulan if no one else speaks it?"

Kerryn grinned. "Just imagine if you and I could."

Illiar laughed. "Well, we could confuse our parents, that's
for sure. Speaking of which, when are you coming out of the
Belt?"

"Three weeks. What's up?"

"Mom and Dad want to invite you to stay with us on one of
the short cargo runs for a sleep-over."

"ILLIAR! That would be so cool! I'll have to ask Dad."

"Sure, but let the parents set it up. You know how they
are."

Kerryn nodded, and they signed off.

Their acceptance for the simulation came the next day. Both
were to be members of a squad of four single-seat ships that
would be asked to go through some maneuvers. There would be
eight sessions, and the ratings would be released after all
sessions were complete. Both Kerryn and Illiar checked their
simulator configurations, and while Illiar was comfortably
equipped, Kerryn's just scraped by. He hoped that they would
take that into account.

Kerryn figured out how to link his simulator to Illiar's and
they began some practice together over the subspace link.
Kerryn found that his friend tended to overcorrect a bit.
Illiar did not complain about his flying, so he guessed it
was OK. It was key to the underlying philosophy that Kerryn
had always adhered to: do it right.

With so much time on the Totentanz, and his regular exercise
of running the decks alternating with the EPU, Kerryn
absorbed much more schooling than just about any other kid
his age. He loved it, though, and the subspace chats with
several of his friends provided the right balance. He hoped
they got in to Flight School. That would at least bring them
all together in the same place for a while.

The warp core acted up again, but this time Kerryn had
enough Romulan to be able to understand the problem. It
always came back to flow regulators and relays. He became
adept at switching them, and when the tech did come to
service the engines (Doryn was no engineer) Kerryn watched
and learned, fascinated.

The night before the flight exercise, he and his father had
dinner together. Doryn had realized that he had less and
less contact with Kerryn, but dinner slipped into their
regular and familiar ways. It was then that Doryn had some
news for him.

"Kerryn, you are now thirteen years old. We have one more
week in the Belt, and then we're going to take a break.
Illiar's parents have asked for a sleep-over, and we've
agreed on four days on their ship, a rendez-vous at Starbase
290, and then four days on Totentanz. How does that sound to
you?"

"ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!! Thanks, Dad!" Kerryn could hardly sit
still. "Will we have cargo?"

"Yes, we have an easy run to Mobius. I'm actually going to
take Totentanz in at Starbase 290 for a systems overhaul and
do some guard duty on Invincible. I'm up for my rotation."

"Cool! What're we getting?"

"Upgraded subspace and a simulator upgrade for you. A new
navigation computer, and some hull skin."

"Can we afford all that?"

Doryn nodded. "Yes. I am also getting you the complete
Starfleet EPU sequence."

Kerryn's jaw dropped. "Starfleet?"

"It's everyone's dream, Kerryn, to go live in a world with
no money and the best technology. You are about to hit the
age limit in the Guild EPUs. May as well glean what you can
from Starfleet."

"Dad, you are amazing."

"One other thing. Have you finished the Guild Ship
Operations sequence?"

"Yes, last week."

"Good. You now have duty shifts starting today. Mostly when
I am too tired, but at least a couple of hours a day and on
demand."

"Wow, Dad! Thanks!"

Kerryn was so charged that night he barely slept. Doryn
looked in on him once. The little boy he knew was growing up
fast. He already had longer hair than Doryn liked, but oh
well. And he was in great shape. A little experience and he
would be quite the lady killer. All the more reason to get
him trained and confident now.

Morning came, and the launch of the exercise. Kerryn and
Illiar were in different squads. No names were allowed, but
each was designated with a color and a number. Kerryn was
Gold Four. He later found out that Illiar had been Blue One.

The first run was all straight maneuvers. They had to form
different patterns - diamonds, lines, diagonals, and more,
and hold them through turns and loops. Trivial stuff.
Commands came from the simulator itself, which was
identified as Gold Zero.

The second sequence involved pairs. Again, Gold Zero gave
commands and Gold Three and Four paired against One and Two.
More maneuvers. The third sequence added three other squads
for a group of sixteen.

The fourth sequence was a race. Everyone had to chase down a
target and get a tractor lock on it. The trick was, the
target was fast and smart, so all those who blasted their
fuel away in the beginning ran out of power at the end.
Kerryn and a few others had an eye for conservatism, so they
held out longer. But by some good celestial navigation,
Kerryn was able to slingshot around a white dwarf star and
gain enough momentum and a lucky intercept course that he
was able to get a tractor lock on the target.

Sequence five was in groups of eight. The difference was
that a student was a group leader. Most of the candidates
had trouble with this, but since Kerryn had been through
Guild Flight Operations on the EPU, he could plan and
achieve the objective. Hence, when it was his turn to
command, things went smoothly and predictably. Gold Two was
a terrible leader, but One and Three were OK.

Sequences six and seven were in groups of sixteen, with
command rotating among several of the different students,
and complicated objectives. No one, not even Kerryn met all
the objectives for the exercise. But Kerryn met as many as
than anyone else in his group for these sequences.

It was sequence eight that scared Kerryn. Rather than orders
being displayed and time allowed for planning, a scenario
outlay came out. They were all a part of a virtual ship,
operating in different departments. All thirty two
participants were involved. And when the screen showed the
crew assignments, he found Illiar first as Operations
Officer. Kerryn's assignment: Captain.

"Oh shit." That echoed among the muttering. But he knew
Illiar heard it.

The simulation began, and there were no objectives visible.
What were they supposed to do? A moment's panic washed
through him. He was not ready for this. Sure, simulations
were one thing, but he had a whole crew of live people now.
That was different. He froze a bit.

Amid the muttering, he heard Illiar call out humorously,
"Captain On the Bridge." That brought a round of nervous
laugher, and it shocked him into the realization that that
meant him. The engineering curiosity took hold, and he
wondered what kind of ship they were on, anyway?

 "Welcome aboard whatever we are on." After that, Kerryn's
first command was a full ship status assessment, and that
apparently was right because there were problems in the warp
core that got fixed, misalignments in the sensors, and a
variance in shields. He prioritized them, and as the
attention was given by his virtual crew, the problems went
away. Within thirty simulation minutes, they were in best
form. He organized on-shifts and off-shifts in two-hour
intervals.

Hmm. He checked cargo manifests, found that his ship was
empty and there was cargo waiting for him at the starbase.
Without fixing the warp core, they would never have made it.
As it was, he hit Warp Five to get there. Cargo was volatile
in atmosphere, so the cargo bay was depressurized and in the
process a pump went bad. But they had fixed the backup
earlier, so all was well. The rest of the simulation was
spent delivering the cargo, and running routine diagnostics.

After that, many of the crew relaxed. But Kerryn, being
frugal even in simulation, undocked and moved out to a high-
altitude orbit so as not to be charged docking fees. This
proved fortuitous, as plague was brought aboard the station
after their departure and it would have killed half the crew
and caused financial disaster. This was obviously a test on
many levels.

Six hours they had been in the simulators. Kerryn realized
there was another test here as he rubbed his eyes in
fatigue, and gave the conn to his first officer with
instructions. The moment he did this, his display went
blank. No results showed up and the simulator was clearly
running, so he assumed he must be asleep. He knew there was
an audible wake-up alarm, so he did lean back and close his
eyes for a bit.

His simulator gave him a loud alert, and the display started
counting down from 20. At zero, it came full up and Kerryn
swore. His first officer got them into an asteroid field and
they were being pummeled. Taking command, he immediately
slowed out of warp, gave full power to the shields and
looked at the log. They had taken on a cargo of antimatter.
Antimatter in an asteroid field was like the twentieth-
century analogy of tap-dancing in a mine field. They were
probably goners. He let loose a verbal stream of swearing in
Romulan, and surveyed the field.

There was a path out if you went upwards. Flinging commands
at his Navigation officer, they swung up only to have their
starboard warp nacelle slammed by an asteroid. Fortunately,
it broke cleanly away and on a different trajectory, so that
when it did detonate and spew plasma everywhere, they were
away. Five minutes later they cleared the field, and limped
towards the nearest starbase.

Ship's damage was severe. It would be weeks before they
reached a starbase. They had no communications other than
short range. They needed help, as they were essentially in a
space coffin. The warp core was shot, they were on ship
sustain only, and would exhaust their resources. There was
only one thing to do.

"Cargo, this is the captain."

"Roger."

"Release the cargo into space. Helm, move us to a safe
distance."

A minute, then, "Captain, cargo is released and is now at
one million kilometers."

"Tactical, target the cargo and fire phasers."

"Sir? That will destroy the cargo."

"Yes, it will. An explosion that big will surely have an
someone here within hours instead of us starving to death
over weeks."

The explosion was tremendous. The shock wave sent them
reeling several million kilometers, but the explosion would
be noted and a ship would be dispatched.

Within one minute of the explosion, the screens went blank
and read that the simulation was over. Exhausted and stiff,
he disengaged himself and made his pit stop and then went to
see his father.

Doryn was appalled at how Kerryn looked. "My god, Kerryn,
how did it go?"

"Lousy, I think. At the end, we had no warp, were missing
one nacelle, on batteries, no communications, and we
phasered the cargo to create a call for help." He related
the details.

"Sounds like the captain did the best he could. Where were
you in the crew?"

"I was the captain."

Doryn was amazed. "Wow! Son, you made all the right
decisions. Captain! That is terrific! How many crew were
there? Will they give a debrief?"

"Ratings come out tomorrow at 1400 ships time. Including
myself, thirty-two."

Doryn let him finish his soup. "Go to bed, Kerryn. Hell, I
haven't dealt with that much on even my hardest trip."

"Thanks, Dad." And as he stumbled wearily to bed, he saw
that Illiar had been trying to get a hold of him. He sent
him a quick message that he was going to sleep, and then he
did just that.

Two hours before the debrief, Illiar and Kerryn were
exchanging experiences.

"So Illiar, honestly, how did I do? You were two tiers below
me. What was it like?"

"It was both cool and scary. You were calm, knew what to do,
and that we found so many problems means that they set us
up. When you went off duty, the first officer was Red One.
He was an ass. He kept ordering people around for status
reports. That asteroid field was on the charts, and
Navigation missed it. Red One's last words were, Oh crap,
what do I do, and I called out, Summon the Captain to the
bridge, damn it. After that, the sim connected you back in
and man you were good. We could tell you were swearing, but
no one knew what it was. Most of us who live on ships knew
what you did with the cargo, but the landlubbers had no
clue. How did you like the questionnaire?"

"What questionnaire? When it disconnected me, it just
reported the debrief time and cut me out."

"Crap. The rest of us had to rate all the departments, and
what was going on."

"Well, it's done. I guess we'll hear at 1400."

"1500, Kerryn."

"Mine says 1400. Guess they want to crucify the captain
personally. My Dad is also invited to attend."

"That means it is on comms instead of sim. Good luck."

"Thanks. Totentanz out." And Kerryn leaned back. Red One had
fucked it up for them. Oh well. He got dressed, ate, and
fidgeted a little. Maybe his Dad would know.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"What should I wear to a court-martial?"

Doryn dropped his fork. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, under my command, my ship got trashed and my cargo
blown to bits. My Number One blew it, but I am the captain."

Doryn thought. "Try grey or black, solid, nothing flashy.
You don't have a uniform, but try to be as formal as you
can."

"OK. Thanks."

"Kerryn, relax. It was an exercise."

"It was just so real, Dad. I tried to do everything right.
And it went nova."

"See what they say. There is always room for improvement."

And so, at 1400 hours, they sat down in front of the comm
station. It activated, and a panel of nine men and women sat
there. Upon first viewing, their eyebrows raised.

"Well, captain, welcome to your debrief. Before we begin,
just how old are you?"

"Sirs, I am thirteen years old."

Murmurs. Then the leader said. "Thank you. Please describe
your mission history."

Kerryn did, noting the problems, impacts, and fixes, his
duty shift off, and his reinsertion into a ship bent on
destruction, their extraction, and finally the detonation of
the cargo.

"Anything to add, captain?"

Kerryn thought. "No, I don't think so, sirs. But please ask
if you have questions."

One spoke up. "Why specifically did you detonate the cargo?"

"We had no long-term power. Our warp core was shot. We were
missing a nacelle. Our communication system was fused solid.
We were a floating space coffin. Detonating that much
antimatter caused a ninth order power wave to be generated,
and would certainly capture the interest of the Guild, if
not Starfleet itself. It was a distress flare, although on a
large scale."

"You could have waited."

"Perhaps. But if we had kept the cargo intact, but killed
off all the crew, how does that solve the problem?"
Nervously, to himself he added, what is the going price on
human life, especially thirty two of them?

They nodded. "A sound argument."

The leader spoke. "Here now is our debrief of the
simulation. We were able to find only one fault in your
handling of this scenario. You did not pull up a
qualifications profile on your key officers. That
information would have shown you his lack of capability."

Kerryn's eyebrows furrowed. "Sirs, I do not recall on my
simulator seeing the option for officer profiles."

Some muttering, and a look at a list, and the leader
grinned. "You are using a PK-series simulator?"

"AN/PJ-32, sir. It predates the PK-series."

"Comment withdrawn. We are very pleased with your handling
of this scenario. Your rating will be listed at the full
team debrief. And get yourself a newer simulator. The PJ
series is antique."

"Thank you, sirs."

The communications unit closed. Doryn grinned. "See? You
must have been amazing."

The full debrief came later. That was truly amazing. Team
One did not detect any problems with the ship and never made
it to the starbase to get cargo. They didn't even check the
manifests or schedules. Team Two made it to starbase, but
caught the plague and as a result had a mutiny.

The leader of the panel spoke. "Team Three was an incredible
experience. We had to extend the scenario in order to catch
the ship unprepared. After seven hours -" at this, loud
muttering and outcries from the team, then silence. "After
seven hours of scenario time, the captain Gold Four went off
duty, and Red One assumed command. We had to invent an
asteroid field as a hazard, and fortunately the Navigator
Red Three missed looking for it. Severe ship damage had
taken place before the Captain was called back, and Gold
Four extracted the ship and despite being a `floating
coffin' in space in his own words, he detonated the cargo in
a ninth order power shock wave. In his own words, either the
Guild or Starfleet would have investigated immediately, and
we concur. That ended the simulation at seven hours forty
nine minutes. Team Three performed beyond any exercise to
date."

That was followed by a roar of cheering. The leader then
concluded, "The earlier sequences all were well executed,
with particular distinction by the Gold, Blue, and Silver
squads. Gold Four again was the only ship to get a tractor
lock on the target."

More cheering, and the time began to close. The leader ended
with, "The ratings list will be posted shortly, by Team,
Squad, and individual. This, as always has been a pleasure
and exciting, but I think this time I will add hair-raising.
Any rating one hundred or less will be issued an invitation
to Flight School. Any rating ten or less will be eligible
for War School as well. Thank you and good day." And the
debrief closed.

Kerryn drew a breath of appreciation. They had to extend the
scenario to trip up his ship! That was so cool. And seconds
later, Illiar and some of his friends were on the subspace
net.

"Way to go, Kerryn! You're in for sure!"

Kerryn took a bow. "You have no idea how terrified I was
when we started."

"How did you know what to do?"

"I didn't. When you called out about the captain being on
the bridge, it kind of hit me that we were on the bridge of
what? And in what condition? And then, why are we out in
space anyway, right? Cargo. First thing to do is see what we
have and where it is going, and the next, etc, right? That's
what I did."

The simulator beeped and the subspace link was suddenly
abuzz. Ratings were out. Kerryn scrolled through the ninety
six names until he found Gold Four. And what was there made
his heart almost stop.

He had a rating of one.

A quick skim showed that ratings went down to five hundred.
Most were in the two hundreds. Illiar had a forty. "Well,
Illiar, at least you and I are in."

"Yup. Milo and Danel as well. Milo got a sixty two and Danel
an eighty."

"Cool!"

Illiar then spoke slowly. "Kerryn, you got a one. The
highest possible. Dude, YOU GET TO GO TO WAR SCHOOL TOO!!"

"And no wonder, too!" That was one of his friends.

Kerryn yawned, but felt elated. "My Dad's gonna shit."

Illiar grinned. "I don't think so. By the way, we're only a
parsec apart. We'll be at 290 in a couple hours. Better
pack!"

"Thanks!" And they signed off.

Doryn was elated, to say the least. As they approached
Starbase 290, Kerryn had packed his things for the four-day
break. Totentanz sidled up to the station, and within
minutes of docking Kerryn and Illiar were together in the
one of the nearby bars.

Drinking a carbonated beverage, they went over every instant
of the simulation exercise. His more modern simulator was
able to report the status on the others beyond his group,
whereas Kerryn's was ancient. He made up his mind to find an
upgrade somehow.

Illiar just sat back. "I am so tired."

Kerryn grinned, and regarded his friend thoughtfully. Illiar
had grown since their last meeting. He was taller now, and
his black hair was short and pristine. His eyes were blue,
and Kerryn noticed that there was something enticing about
him. It made him feel warm inside to be with Illiar, and
unconsciously he scanned his friend briefly.

What was there surprised him. Illiar was looking at him, and
he was seeing him very differently. Kerryn's brown eyes had
Illiar's attention, as well as his longer brown hair. Illiar
seemed to want to fix it somehow. And then a thought of
Kerryn with no shirt on fled through his mind, and the
sensation of that was entirely new to Kerryn. He broke
contact, and knew that Illiar would never know it happened.
Kerryn was very good that way. But he realized that Illiar
was attracted to him.

With new interest, he tried to look at Illiar that way.
Charming eyes. Nice hair. Great smile. And the question
swept through Kerryn: What did Illiar look like now without
a shirt? Or pants? Kerryn realized he wanted to know.

"Something on your mind?"

Kerryn blushed a little. "A lot. Hard to describe. But I am
looking forward to our days together."

"And nights! Mom and Dad say we can stay up and do whatever
we want."

Kerryn yawned again. "Sleep, tonight. Then we'll see
tomorrow."

Illiar leaned forward. "I've got some stuff to show you.
Later. But its gonna be good."

Kerryn grinned, and again scanned briefly. Illiar had porn.
And not just any porn, he had gay porn. Suddenly lots of
things clicked into place. This would be exciting.

They made their way onto Illiar's family ship. Its name was
the Tarantella, and it was large, sleek and very state of
the art. Illiar's parents gave Kerryn his own cabin, but
also run of the ship as long as he stayed out of the flight
and engineering sections. This surprised him; didn't Illiar
help run the ship? Apparently not.

That night, in Illiar's cabin, he closed the door and Illiar
revealed his stash.

"Ever hear of porn?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yeah, my dad has some. He doesn't know it
but I have seen some of it. Reasonably tame."

"Tame?"

"Yeah. Guy fucks girl, girl fucks guy. Same scenes over and
over again. Turns a two minute experience into an hour long
flick."

Illiar grinned. "Well, I have better than that." He stopped,
took a breath, and said, "Kerryn, can you keep a secret?"

"Sure."

"Do you know what being gay is?"

Kerryn nodded slowly. "Its about boys liking boys more than
girls. More than just friends, but sex too."

Illiar just looked at him. Worry and terror etched his face,
and for a moment the effervescent personality that so
defined Illiar was lost to him. Illiar just couldn't
actually say it. So Kerryn jumped forward. "You think you
might be gay?"

Illiar nodded. "Uh huh."

"How do you know?"

"Ever get hard?"

Kerryn blushed. "Yeah, lots."

"What makes you hard?"

"Lots of stuff. I never really thought about it."

Illiar gave him a knowing look. "Well, I have. What gets me
hard are boys. Forget girls. This," and he indicated the
pile of media, "is gay porn." He shuffled a little. "I was
kind of hoping that we could figure out what I am feeling."

Kerryn nodded. "Illiar, I was noticing you earlier tonight,
and I think it kind of describes what you might be feeling.
We probably owe it to ourselves to figure this out."

Illiar looked relieved. "You'll help me?"

"We'll do it together."

That night, the two boys slept in Illiar's cabin. They
decided to take their shirts off as a start. Illiar was pale
and nicely developed for a fourteen-year-old. Kerryn,
however had the influence of his Betazoid blood and his
coppery skin encased a nice, muscular body. He certainly
wasn't a body builder, but he was lean, smooth, and etched.
Illiar couldn't take his eyes off him.

"Wow, Kerryn. How do you get like that?"

Kerryn grinned. "I'm not all human. I'm only half,
remember?"

"What is the other half?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Illiar nodded, intrigued, so Kerryn
told him. "My mom was full Betazoid. It's really close to
human, but some minor differences."

"Wicked." Illiar's eyes were hungry, and Kerryn really was
grateful for his friend. He knew that he loved Illiar almost
as much as his dad. So he daringly offered, "You can check
me out if you want, for differences. Maybe it will help with
the gay thing."

Illiar nodded, but held his breath in excitement as Kerryn
slipped off his pants and undergarments. "See? Same cock,
same balls, same butt. Betazoids aren't very hairy, so I
won't be either." He walked slowly around.

Illiar was a study in realization. "Kerryn, you look so
great." He came over, closer, and asked very quietly, "Can I
touch you?"

Kerryn nodded, uncertain now, and Illiar brought his hand
and gently stroked Kerryn's chest. That was enough, and
Kerryn's cock stiffened immediately. But neither one moved,
as Illiar's hand slid down over Kerryn's abdomen and down to
his cock. He stroked it, gently, and Kerryn whispered,
"Don't do that or its gonna shoot." And Illiar stopped.

"Oh god, Kerryn! That was so awesome." Illiar looked away.
"The way that felt, I think I've got to be gay. I've tried
the same with a couple girls but there's nothing there. This
felt so much more."

"I got hard too. That surprised me."

Illiar looked back at Kerryn's hard cock, and his face took
on a look of deep desire. "I want to make you shoot so bad,
Kerryn." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Will you let me?"

Before Kerryn thought, he blurted out the words. "Only if I
can do the same for you."

Illiar nodded, and came over to Kerryn with a towel. His
hand slowly came in contact with Kerryn's cock, and then
slowly began stroking it up and down. Poor Kerryn was so
excited in one way, and so adventurous in another way that
he couldn't relax enough to cum right away. So a minute
passed, and suddenly the manipulations going on was too much
for the adventurer and with an "Oh, fuck!" Kerryn's cock
surged in intensity, meeting that focused pleasure point and
then with strong spasms pumped out the cum that Illiar
caught in his hands and on the towel.

"Kerryn, that was awesome!"

"That felt so fucking good. I almost couldn't stand up!"

They giggled, and cleaned up. Illiar was still half dressed,
and a moment of embarrassment came over him. "You still want
to keep going?"

Kerryn nodded, and then grinned. "Have to do it right, you
know."

Illiar slowly dropped the rest of his clothes. He was pale,
his lower half was not nearly as developed as Kerryn's but
that was OK. Kerryn made him lie down for this, and with his
hands he stroked Illiar's chest, like before, and worked his
way down to his cock. But Kerryn didn't stop there. His
hands stroked the inside of Illiar's thighs, causing Illiar
to shake and twitch. He gently cupped Illiar's balls,
feeling them in his soft skin, and then with fingers ready
he began to sensually stroke Illiar's cock. Illiar lasted
half a minute before spewing his own cum on his chest.

Illiar was amazed. Kerryn almost seemed to know what to do.
A sudden suspicion rose in him. "Kerryn, how often do you
wank?"

"Wank?"

"You know, play with your cock until it spurts."

Kerryn blushed a little, and then said quietly, "Once or
twice a day. You?"

"Not that much, but I think I will start."

Adventure was over, and they got ready for bed. Illiar made
the first offer. "Want to sleep up here with me?"

"You bet!" And they climbed into bed. Illiar gave him a
little kiss goodnight, and said, "Thanks, Kerryn. You are
the best friend I could have."

"Thanks too, Illiar. I love you." And they went to sleep.

Four days later, Illiar and Kerryn had wanked themselves and
each other at least a half dozen times each day. There was
no doubt in Illiar's mind that he was gay. Kerryn also had a
good understanding that he would very much enjoy other boys.
And Illiar's parents were none the wiser, as they had barely
seen them.

Totentanz was another experience. Kerryn and Illiar arrived
to find that Illiar could have his own cabin or move in with
Kerryn. They chose the latter. Illiar could have the run of
the ship, including the Navigation and Propulsion sections.
Doryn was much more interactive with them, and while the
trip was fun and entertaining, Kerryn and Illiar didn't have
as much time alone. However, the gay interests of the two
boys were cemented on the evening of the last day.

They had said goodnight to Doryn, and were in Kerryn's
cabin. Neither was really interested in wanking. In fact, it
was Illiar who was staring out the window at the stars when
Kerryn came over and sat next to him.

"OK, I know it's going to be hard. I've been so happy these
eight days."

Illiar nodded. "Will you wait for me?"

"You've decided you are gay?"

Illiar nodded again. And Kerryn laughed. "Good, because I
decided I was six days ago. And yes, I will wait for you."
And he gave Illiar a kiss on the cheek.

Illiar turned. "Would you kiss me for real?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yes, although I don't think I am very good
at it."

"Do it anyway, please?"

Kerryn stood, and pulled Illiar up. "Shirts off." And they
pulled their shirts off, exposing the chest and skin that
each were so familiar with now. Kerryn slowly took Illiar
into his arms, and stared right into his eyes. He tilted his
head slightly, and brought his face close until their lips
touched, and Illiar moaned as the contact strengthened. But
it was Illiar who parted his lips, and when their tongues
touched it set a wave of desire, friendship, and intimacy
through them both. They explored this new sensation, and
then broke to catch their breath.

"I liked that a lot."

"So did I." And like two young lovers, they got into bed and
snuggled together. Sex was over, this was two friends
keeping warm and close.

When Illiar had returned to his family, and Kerryn had
resettled to the routine on Totentanz, Doryn decided it was
time for a chat with his son.

"Kerryn, sit down. We need to have a chat."

Maybe the days of separation had made it more obvious, but
Kerryn had grown up a lot. He moved his lanky form into a
chair. "What's up, Dad?"

"You're different after your vacation with Illiar. Want to
talk?"

Kerryn shifted uncomfortably. "I am different. I guess I
know who I am a little better. And I miss Illiar."

"That is quite obvious." At Kerryn's surprise, Doryn
grinned. "The question is, what about him are you missing?"
A blush crept into Kerryn as Doryn watched. "I think I know,
but you have to say it for yourself. You can't hide from it.
It is a part of you."

Kerryn gulped. "Dad, I'm gay."

"That wasn't so bad, was it? How do you know?"

"Well, Illiar had some questions, and I guess I did too. We
explored a little, and it became pretty obvious."

Doryn nodded. "OK." He coughed uncomfortably. "Kerryn, your
mom gave me some specific information about Betazoids for
you. You need to know it, and I want to tell you about it.
OK?"

Kerryn nodded, amazed. They never spoke about Analee. "OK.
Why now?"

"You're of age in Betazoid culture. And your admission about
Illiar sealed it."

First, Doryn explained that he would mature earlier. All
biology was compatible, although the average Betazoid had a
larger cock by a little bit than the average human, although
humans had greater variability in size. Any sexual
orientation was acceptable in Betazoid culture. Betazoids
were sterile unless a particular herbal beverage was
consumed, and that kept the population down as well as the
openness and sexual interest of the culture up.

Kerryn blushed furiously through the beginning of this, but
dealt with it and realized it was a sincere cultural study
he was getting from his father. He didn't realize the hard
parts were coming up.

Doryn got himself a glass of water. "Kerryn, there are two
things left. The first is mental. You can enter the mind of
your partners during sex, and increase their experience a
hundredfold with careful stimulation in the right place." He
smiled. "Analee used to do that for me. It was absolutely
amazing. I will give you some information on this, as well
as other mental exercises. You are part Betazoid, you should
use it."

"OK, Dad. Thanks. I had no idea on that one."

"Here is the last one. Betazoids call it the Frenzy." And he
explained how one in every fifty or so meetings of Betazoid
descendents make a chemical-biological synergy bond that
must be seen through to completion or else pay the price of
insanity. "The key feeling seems to be a burning desire to
be one with this total stranger. Once on, it stays on and
grows until the experience is over. And the Frenzy does not
discriminate between men or women, gay or straight, willing
or unwilling. Just go along for the ride."

Kerryn's eyes were wide. "That's pretty scary, Dad. I'm
surprised the Betazoids allow it."

"They can't avoid it. It is going to happen to you, probably
several times." He handed Kerryn a data chip. "This is the
Betazed standard educational program for their biology. It
goes in the EPU." He grinned. "Knowing that you are a horny
young man, I suggest you study it. The mental ones too." He
shook his finger. "Just don't try them on me without asking
first. I know how to deal with wily Betazoids."

A moment of pain flickered, and Kerryn asked the question
that had not been brought up in almost eight years. "Dad, do
you think we will see mom again?"

Doryn shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't gone looking." And
that ended that.

While they kept in contact, Illiar and Kerryn had nearly
eight weeks before flight school. During that time, Doryn
acquired a broken PK-90 Simulator, and Kerryn brought it
back to full working order. Now he saw what a lot of the
others had seen from their simulators, and he could
appreciate what was going on. They took their annual stop at
Delvin Six, where the doctors pronounced both Doryn and
Kerryn in excellent health. At that point, Kerryn was
surprised to receive an implant.

"What's that for?" Implants were like old-fashioned shots,
injected just under the skin.

"Flight permit. Your results qualified you for basic flight.
You just needed to be thirteen to get it." Doryn smiled
knowingly. He had a surprise for Kerryn.

"A Flight Permit!?! This implant will let me fly in a real
ship?"

"You bet, after you've trained on it. It is updated as you
go, but you needed the implant first."

Doryn knew then that his son would love the little trainer
craft that he had bought. It was used, and not the best
model, but he had the fairing on top of the Propulsion deck
extended and pressurized as a hangar for the little craft
while Kerryn was with Illiar.

As they walked back to Totentanz, Kerryn noticed from a
window that the fairing was larger. It wasn't often that you
get this view, and Doryn had made special arrangements to
ensure Kerryn would see it. And like the observant thirteen
year old that he was, he saw it.

"Dad, what did you do to the aft dorsal fairing? It's
bigger, and extends to the end of the ship."

Doryn grinned. "Ah. Well, you see, I had it extended and
pressurized. We needed the extra space."

"It looks like a little hangar. What do we need the space
for?"

"You'll just have to see, won't you?"

Kerryn couldn't resist. He scanned his Dad, and found the
image of a small two-seat spacecraft in his mind, sitting in
the hangar. "DAD!! YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU??"

Wow, Doryn thought, he lifted that out without a touch. But
in words, he nodded. "What good is an implant if you have
nothing to fly? Happy birthday, Kerryn."

Well, that was the end of coherent thought for Kerryn. He
just couldn't believe it. They went up together, went over
every system, every aspect of it that they could get their
hands on. They ran diagnostics, checked controls, and Kerryn
climbed into the seat and just stretched for a moment. Then,
like lightning he was all over the controls and indicators.

"Dad, thanks ever so much! When can I take her out?"

"After we depart and are in open space for a while, and also
after you have read the documentation." He handed him an EPU
chip. "You've got a modern simulator, now. This little ship
here should be in its database. Get some qual hours on the
simulator, and then we'll see."

Kerryn took that very seriously. But before he dug into her,
he had to tell Illiar.

It was a week before he felt that he could actually fly. The
first flight was out in clear space. He had his new flight
suit, and was ready to go when Doryn came on the comm unit.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Dad!"

"Be careful. On return, match velocity with the ship first,
and then ease yourself in."

With all green lights, he released the hangar doors and they
slid open. The next button released the force field, and the
hanger depressurized. Finally, he released the magnetic
catches, and with a touch on the thrusters he was off.

He was free. His aft scanners showed the Totentanz
retreating behind him slowly. He pulled some sharp turns,
and the little craft strained in response. The simulators
were close, but nothing could compare to the actual flight
in a real spacecraft.

"Dad, it's awesome!" And he pulled more of his nauseating
spirals and corkscrews that he had gotten so good at on the
simulator.

"Watch it, Kerryn! Don't push too hard or you'll puke. It
isn't quite the same as a sim."

That was too true, but before Kerryn really did puke he
evened out his flight. He realized that he was very
disoriented, and it took a couple seconds for the scanner to
show him Totentanz. Gracefully arcing back towards the ship,
he slowed and measured her lengthwise. It had been years
since he had been out in a space suit, and this way he got
to make detailed surveys of Totentanz. He then shot full
speed out ahead of the larger ship, and found that he could
get quite a bit of speed out of this little craft. He could
actually hit half light speed! Pulling a perfect inside loop
and roll maneuver, he returned back to Totentanz. With his
dad's advice, he matched velocity to the Totentanz, and
slowly eased himself into the hangar. The force fields came
on, magnetic catches held, and the when the little hangar
was pressurized, Kerryn climbed out of the craft and just
ran his hands all over it. He loved it, and it was his.

Of course, he immediately went over the engineering manuals
for it, and changed out dozens of flow regulators and
relays. He recalibrated all the inertial dampers, and
cleaned and polished the thrusters. A little touch-up paint
here and there, and while it wasn't the latest and sleekest,
it was his and it was good.

Doryn had warned him about bragging. "Kerryn, you and most
of your friends have the implant now, but I asked around and
you are the only one who actually has a permit to fly on
your own. Be careful about that, OK?"

Kerryn nodded, surprised. "How did that happen?"

Doryn grinned. "All that time on the simulator, and your
completion of the Guild Operations EPU. Most of your friends
haven't started it. Which reminds me, how is Starfleet
coming?"

"OK. Engineering is actually kind of similar to the Guild.
I'm gonna get bogged down in the Ambassadorial ones,
though."

Talking with Illiar was great. Illiar's parents had bought
him a ship too, a nice new one from Prevyar. Kerryn's was
built by Turian Shipworks, which was considerably smaller
and less mainstream, but had none of the nice features or
expensive look as a Prevyar did. But Kerryn was not the
slightest bit jealous.

"It's beautiful, Illiar! How does it fly?"

His friend's face fell. "Don't know yet. I'm still getting
qualified on her. Another week or so. But I'll get there,
and when I do I will swing and dance among the stars! I'll
do spirals around the Tarantella, even the Totentanz!"

Kerryn laughed. "I bet you will. How fast will she go?"

"Half light speed."

"I'll bet we could tune her up to go faster."

Illiar's eyes popped. "Go under the hood? Not me! Let a tech
do that."

And that was Kerryn's first exposure to the prevalent
attitude among most freighters. Captains didn't do tech
work. Techs did the menial maintenance work. Kerryn let it
slide, but it did taint his happiness. And Doryn noticed.

"All right, son, what's going on?"

"Huh?"

"Something's bothering you. It isn't the ship, is it?"

"No, Dad." He sighed. "It was something Illiar said. He
seems to think that techs are not as good as captains, and
as if captains and their families were better than techs."

Doryn also sighed. "Some of the more wealthy families tend
to look down on the techs, that is true. It kind of depends
upon who your customers are. If you do work for planetary
governments, then you get a little used to that. Techs work
for us and with us. The reality is that without the
technical experts and engineers, we wouldn't be anywhere."

Kerryn then voiced his real fear. "Dad, I'm just afraid that
it is gonna be a problem between Illiar and me. I like the
tech work, and I really am good at it."

Doryn nodded, and gently said, "Well, then if Illiar can't
adapt, then he may not be the right one for you."

Flight school was a day away, and the momentum was gaining.
Kerryn decided to arrive the night before and check in
early, as was his option. Totentanz was on a tight cargo
trip, so Kerryn and his dad decided to fly the little Turian
in to the school and keep it in one of the small side
hangars with the other small craft.

Crossing the immense hangar platform of the school, he began
to appreciate its size. It was as large as the largest
starbase he had ever seen, and there were ships of all kinds
here. The entire hangar could have held fifty Totentanz
ships! But it was clearly marked, especially for one who had
the training required, and Kerryn and his duffel bag made it
to the orientation center.

A Guild member was present at the desk. "May I help you?"

Kerryn responded, "Yes. I am Kerryn of Delvin Six, here to
start in the Flight School, for an early check-in."

"Very good. Station time is 2310 hours. Your suite is in
section 23, cluster A. Orientation is at 0700." A device was
handed to him. "Tomorrow will be devoted to station
orientation and some socialization. Schooling begins the
next day. The callsign you were given on the exercise is how
you will be referred to, and you are Gold Four. Do you have
an implant?"

"Yes, sir." Kerryn held his wrist to the scanner.

The Guild member's eyebrows rose. "Thank you. Since you are
already licensed, you have full access to the school
although tomorrow you will be told that you do not. No one
will know this unless you disclose it."

Kerryn was surprised. "Is it that unusual?"

A shrug. "It happens sometimes."

His suite was actually a common room with study areas,
bathrooms and a separate bedroom area where six boys stayed.
Not quite barracks, but certainly close quarters. Kerryn
knew he would have trouble sleeping, so he picked a low bed
by the door. He put his things away, and was shortly greeted
by another boy.

Kerryn stood and gave the traditional greeting. "Kerryn of
Delvin Six."

"Thomas Silver of Mobius II." Thomas was a somewhat older
boy, fifteen, serious but with that twinkle that showed he
was excited to be there.

"Welcome, Thomas. I just got in half an hour ago."

"Cool. Any bed we want?"

Kerryn nodded. "I don't sleep much so I took this one." Some
more idle chatter, and one more boy came in. He was about
the same age as Thomas.

"Mike Bonno, Aran III. Am I last?" Mike was an easy, affable
type guy. His deep voice betrayed his age, and he had a
relaxed confidence about him. He would be everyone's basic
friend.

The older two boys took beds near Kerryn's, but up high.
Both of them were on the same simulation run that Kerryn
was. Both were on Team Two, and Kerryn had been on Team
Three.

"So, anyone got a ship?" This was Mike. "I have a Prevyar
EPX. Modest, but very comfortable inside. Flies like silk."

"Prevyar EP3." This was Thomas. "Almost as nice. I'm working
towards a new one once out of school, maybe an FX10."

Kerryn grinned. "I lose. I've got a Turian Zephyr. It's
pretty agile."

Thomas grinned back. "The Zephyr was pretty good in its day.
Don't sell it short."

Mike, however, was unimpressed. "Well, you can always
upgrade later."

Kerryn shrugged. They would find out sooner or later. "We
don't have a lot of money lying around. I got it and had to
rebuild parts of it." Oops, well, maybe they didn't catch
it.

They didn't. It was Mike who sealed it, though. "Can't wait
to get off that tether, that's all I know." A large yawn
flooded him, and set the other two boys doing the same. "I'm
going to bed."

They all got ready, and took to their beds. Kerryn looked
around for a light switch, but Thomas beat him to it.
"Computer! Dim lights to 5 percent." And the lights went
down.

Shortly thereafter, the other two boys were asleep. Kerryn
felt very much alone and isolated. There was a word for him,
one that he didn't like but it was probably true. Boonie. A
boonie was someone who spent a lot of time out of social
circles. These guys he was with were used to technology and
the customary luxury environment. Kerryn was not, but he
figured he could get used to it. Voice actuated commands.
Doors that opened by themselves. No wall switches. None of
those things were present on Totentanz.

The next day saw a flurry of activity. So much to see and
learn. He saw Illiar, and they greeted each other warmly.
Illiar seemed to have no trouble integrating. Kerryn wished
that he had such a skill. But the shining socialites led the
day as all focused on their new surroundings. The next day
they would start the school.

The spacecraft they used for flight school were cool. They
could go to half light speed, had shields and micro-tractor
beams on them, and were overloaded with safety features
including anti-collision deflectors. Kerryn had mastered the
simulator in half a day, and received his additional
qualification on the implant to fly that class of spacecraft
at will. He grinned at that one. All the others would be on
supervision. After lunch that day, he was the first and only
one to make it to the training hangar, where he could select
his ship. The head of the tech department followed he and
the instructor through the field of ships.

They watched as Kerryn inspected the new ones, and shook his
head. He worked his way down the row, and finally he looked
back at the lead tech in frustration.

"Which one is the oldest?"

Eyebrows raised, the tech pointed at one four ships down.
"That one. It is in good working order, as are they all."

"Really?"

The tech started slightly, and then realized that this
wasn't some random flyboy. "Well, it wasn't used last
session but it was in every other one for fifteen years."

"Let's go look." And the instructor followed curiously.

Kerryn saw it then, and it was what he wanted. Turian had
made it, too. Slightly heavier, dented, scraped, but sound
and the thrust nacelles were well worked in. He climbed up,
ran a systems check, climbed down, and went under to open
the service panel. Things were in order, but he could see a
dozen things that needed attention. Perfect.

He stood back, and for show, kicked the hangar clamps, which
set the tech laughing. "This is the one."

"You are sure?" The instructor was skeptical.

"Yes, sir."

"So be it." He brought a scanner over, and gave it Kerryn's
command codes. "Scan in, please." And Kerryn turned red as
he raised the implant to the ship, and it immediately showed
his independent flight status.

"You have your permit already?"

"Yes, sir, although I was advised not to advertise that."

"I see. Good work." And then it hit the instructor. "What
are your engineering qualifications?"

"Engineering Level 7, Propulsion Level 9, Operations Level
9, and Power Systems Level 11. Sir."

"Why are you in flight school?" The tech was grinning fit to
split.

Kerryn got scared. "I don't understand, sir. Everyone wants
to go to Flight School."

"Those engineering qualifications outrank even the
graduating techs here. How did you get all those quals?" The
instructor suddenly realized he was scaring Kerryn, and
changed his mind. "Come on over to the benches over here.
You aren't in trouble and you aren't being thrown out. But
it is most unusual for someone with your quals to be here."

The three of them sat down, and Kerryn tried to calm down a
little as the instructor asked him, "Tell us about your last
couple years, please."

"Well, sirs, I grew up on a light freighter. My mom left
when I was five, and ever since then my father and I have
been working cargo in the Aurigaen Belt."

"That's pretty far out territory, and not easy space either.
Where were you in the crew roster?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No crew. Just the two of us. I spent
a lot of time in simulator and on the EPU when I could.
There isn't much else to do out there. Repairs are expensive
too, and I had to learn another language to interact with
our drive. In exchange for subspace access, I worked
maintenance for the ship. Someday my dad will want to
retire, and then I'll need a flight permit and
qualifications, so I was really happy to get into the Pre-
Flight Exercise and then the Flight School itself."

"What language?"

"Romulan. It really is-"

The instructor turned to the tech. "Know any Romulan?"

"Some." He turned to Kerryn, and haltingly asked a question.
Kerryn giggled, and responded in a phonetic flow of
symbology that was both stunning in its complexity and yet
had a technical beauty to it. It was like listening to
crystal.

The tech turned back to the instructor. "He's way beyond
me." He turned and grinned at Kerryn. "What was so funny?"

"Well, sir, your accent is terrible."

The tech laughed. "I don't warrant a sir, you know. I'm just
the tech."

"Oh no. Everyone warrants a sir, and there is no such thing
as just a tech."

Silence. The instructor rolled his eyes. The tech stood in
shock, as the instructor looked at Kerryn. "Do you know what
a boonie is?"

Kerryn looked down. "Yes, sir. Among other things, it's me."

"It is not a bad thing. It means you are much more self-
sufficient and independent. You can survive on your own. And
you don't have much experience with the social peculiarities
here. Many see it as a negative thing, but the reality is
that they will be dead long before you will." He turned to
the tech. "Get him whatever he needs. I suspect the guts of
that ship he just selected will be on the floor within an
hour. He has carte blanche access." He turned back to
Kerryn. "You'll find out what that is later."

"Thank you, sir!"

The instructor got up to go, and then turned back. "What is
your callsign?"

"Gold Four, sir."

He stopped. He stared. "You were the captain for Team
Three."

"Yes, sir."

"Damn. And you did it on a PJ series simulator." He laughed
suddenly. "Your ass must have been very sore after that. PJ-
series were very uncomfortable."

"I won't deny it, sir."

The instructor left, and the lead tech got him some basic
tools. "May as well hold onto them." He assigned him a
locker, and then turned back to Kerryn. "You are going to
need stuff. Either come to me, or ask for Ramon. Ramon is a
gifted tech, though not as qualified as yourself. He also is
a boonie, and I think could use a friend. Don't force it,
but I think you guys could do well together." He said
quietly, "He loves to fly, but doesn't have the ear for it."

And that was how the first week went. Kerryn would start in
the simulator, and then leave to go work on the ship. The
lead tech was there the first couple times to watch, but
knew expertise when he saw it and left Kerryn alone. He ate
with the other flight boys, did homework, and ran around the
station for exercise. Some of the older boys liked to drink
synthehol, as was their prerogative, but Kerryn avoided it
after a taste.

His roommates queried him once in a while, but he was always
doing something or going somewhere. Eventually it would
break, though, and Kerryn started to get anxious. More boys
were qualified now, and fortunately he had finished the
overhaul on his ship. And it flew absolutely beautifully.

It was at this point that there was scheduled a social
event. The Flight School was coeducational, but the students
had been in simulators so much that there was really no
interaction other than in their suites. This first mixer had
many rumors about it, and Kerryn knew something was up when
the older boys began partitioning off part of the room.

"What's going on?"

They looked at him in surprise. "We wanna get laid tonight,
dude! This way we can get two to a room." They had all laid
out nice clothes, perfect for strutting around in. Kerryn
realized he hadn't brought any formal wear. "Here are the
rules: If the curtain is open, that side of the room is
free, otherwise it is occupied." They finished the
partition. "How long has it been for you?"

"Hey, I'm only just fourteen, remember. I haven't done all
that much." That was a risk, but he wasn't going to hide it.

"Really?"

Mike chimed in, bailing him out. "Dude, I didn't do anything
until I was fourteen. So shut up."  He looked at Kerryn.
"You look a lot older than fourteen. I've seen you in the
buff and that is not an fourteen year old's body."

Kerryn could respond to this one easily. "I'm not entirely
human. I've got at least a little of some other race in me.
That, and I do keep myself in shape." He grinned. "Anyone
want to join me in a run at 0500?"

"NO!" And Mike added, "I hope to be getting laid still at
0500." That brought a round of laughter. And at that point
Kerryn knew where he was going tonight.

The confrontation came later. His roommates had all gone on
ahead, and Kerryn told them not to wait for him because he
would be late. He dressed in ordinary clothes, and was on
his way to the hangar when he met Illiar in the crisscross
of corridors.

"Kerryn! How'ya doing?"

"Good, good enough. Qualified yet?"

"Just today. You?"

"Only a little earlier."

Illiar looked at him. "So like, where are your glad rags?"

Kerryn shook his head. "I didn't bring any. Didn't know we
needed to have some. So I figured I would sit this one out
until I could get some." He smiled. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. It's been so busy, though, and so many
new people." Illiar was fifteen now. The difference between
them was ever wider. "How are your roommates?"

"Fine. Older. They've all used blankets to put up walls in
our bedroom so that they can get laid in privacy. I decided
it was easier to all-nighter it."

Illiar knew something was up. "C'mon, Kerryn. I'll loan you
some clothes. This is the first mixer. You've got to go. Who
knows who is waiting for you?"

Some of the other students saw the discussion, but did not
hear the content. Like flies to a light, it began to draw a
small crowd.

"Illiar, you remember what I declared to you. I'd rather not
deal with any of that right now."

Illiar stared. "Kerryn, that was before girls. Who was the
last girl you met?" At the shake of the head, Illiar
snorted. "Let me tell you, they can be just as amazing.
Maybe you and I both will get lucky tonight."

Kerryn stepped back, hurt. "No thanks, Illiar. I'm not in
the mood."

"Damn it, Kerryn you are acting like a damn boonie!"

Something in Kerryn snapped then. The first thing that
caught his eye was the restricted corridor, which he knew
among other things led to a bar. It was only for licensed
pilots. Fury blew over him, and those watching saw his
features harden and his eyes begin to burn with a bronze
glow. He stared at Illiar for the first time, realizing that
his friend had become an elitist, and said, "That's because
I am a boonie." And he stalked off towards the restricted
section.

"Kerryn, wait! You can't go in there. It's restricted." And
as he and the crowd watched, Kerryn stormed up to the
scanner, held up his arm, and the light flashed green and
admitted him, and he disappeared.

Illliar stood, stunned. How did Kerryn get in? Then it
dawned on him that he must have his flight permit already,
on that ridiculous little Turian. Oh well. He turned and
rejoined the group on their way to the mixer. And he did get
laid that night, with a pretty blond thing, and Kerryn far
from his mind.

Kerryn stormed down the corridor, but with each step the
fury abated and the resignation of being exposed flooded
him. By the time he entered the mall, he found the bar and
headed for it with a more controlled step. It was not
crowded, and having been to bars many times with his father,
he went up to the bar and sat on a stool.

The bartender came over. "What'll it be?"

Kerryn had only before ever had carbonated beverages. He
looked up at the top shelf, and picked the first name he
saw.

"Bourbon." And he handed over a credit chit.

The glass of amber liquid was delivered, and deducted.
Kerryn tasted it slowly. It burned, but in a pleasant way.
He closed his eyes and savored the flavor. Rich. He liked
it. And it made him warm inside.

"You're pretty young to be drinking already."

Kerryn turned to find the lead tech standing there. Well,
whatever. "I've been in bars all my life. That's where you
pick up the route news."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." And the older man sat next to him.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really. But I probably should not have retreated into
here. I was hoping to explore on less sudden terms."

They were quiet, and then Kerryn gave in. "All right, you
talked me into it. Illiar is my best friend. We've spent a
lot of time together, but always on a ship. Apparently he
has a more eclectic lifestyle than I knew, and I was more of
a boonie than he knew. It came out today. I've worked hard,
invested a lot of myself into this, and to have it thrown
back at me because I didn't want to go to the mixer . well,
I snapped. There'll be hell to pay."

They were quiet, and then the lead tech spoke. "I saw the
whole thing, but didn't know what was going on. It looked
more like a lover's quarrel."

Kerryn blushed. "It could have been, except it wasn't. And
that is something I don't want to discuss."

"All right. So, tell me about your ship. You had said that
it was in the main hangar."

"It's on the older side. A Turian Zephyr. My dad bought it
for me a couple months ago. It was flyable, but they
couldn't sell it for much because it had some custom parts.
There are revisions all over the manuals. It was pretty
worn, so I had to overhaul it. It took me about two weeks,
but oh was it worth it!"

The head tech nodded. "Turian put out a great ship. I used
to have an A-series Zephyr. What series do you have?"

"D-series. It looks like they had taken the C-series manuals
and marked them up for the D. Kind of annoying, but at least
they were accurate."

The head tech looked at Kerryn in disbelief. "You have a
Turian Shipworks Zephyr D? What serial number?"

Kerryn shrugged. "I don't know. Why?"

"Is it really here?"

"Yeah, its in the hangar."

He got up and dragged Kerryn with him. "Let's go see it."
And on the way, he told Kerryn that Turian had only made
five of them. The shipworks had sold off the small ship
business to Prevyar, who tossed out the expensive design and
mass-manufactured the small ships on the cheap. When they
got to the hangar, both were admitted and they walked to the
side location.

There was the little Turian. Kerryn had forgotten how much
he liked the little craft, and how good it looked now. The
head tech was all over it, his fingers itching to caress
like it was real. He leaned over and looked at the
identifying plate, and read. "Turian Shipworks, Zephyr D,
Serial Number 5. Soli Deo Gloria, Turian, CEO and
President." He turned to Kerryn. "He signed it himself. I
had never thought to see the actual last Zephyr D. You've
got it in great shape."

Kerryn was a little wary. "You treat it like it is sacred."

The head tech laughed. "Well, to Turian enthusiasts like me,
it is. Ramon too. When you can, you have to show this to
him. He'll be in love with it, and you too."

They walked back. The head tech smiled. "Thank you, Gold
Four. Since you are licensed, you can fly in and out of here
on it in your free time. Not like the others."

"Thanks, I'll remember that."

"Shouldn't you be on your way to bed now?"

Kerryn laughed. "I doubt I could sleep with all the fucking
going on." Then he blushed.

"I see. Hold on." He accessed his communicator. "Ramon, it's
me. I need you to put someone up for the night. He's got a
Zephyr D."

"NO SHIT!" sailed over the communicator.

The head tech rolled his eyes. "We'll meet you at the tech
entrance. Tech out." And then he apologized to Kerryn for
the language.

"Don't worry, I've heard the term before."

"Ramon is a boonie too. He's very easy to get along with.
He's right over there." And Kerryn turned to find a young
man sprinting over to them.

Ramon gave the traditional greeting. "Ramon of Alamander
II."

"Kerryn of Delvin Six."

"So you got screwed out of your bed tonight?"

"In a manner of speaking."

They eyed each other. The head tech was smiling to himself.
The best tech, the best flyer, spanning a social gap a mile
wide. It was like Romeo and Juliet.

Ramon was pure tech. Flexible, sinewy, light brown hair
clipped and out of the way, with sparkling blue eyes and a
veritable bottomless pit of energy. He was taller than
Kerryn was, and older, but not much. Kerryn must look like
such a little boy to this powerhouse. Kerryn wasn't quite as
tall, and he was younger in age, but his body wasn't. Kerryn
was more cautious than Ramon, and the two would balance
themselves out well.

"C'mon, lets go eat and then figure out what next."

"Sounds good to me." And they both entered the common areas
for food and beverages.

Ramon started. "So, you have a Zephyr D?" And the
conversation devolved into engineering-speak for a long
time. Kerryn could really open up to this boy, and finding
out the same with Ramon the basis for friendship was quickly
cemented.

When they finally took a break, they realized that it was
only an hour short of the start of the school day. Ramon
shook his head ruefully.

"Not how I expected to spend the first night of the mixer,
but this was far better."

Kerryn felt terrible. "I'm really sorry about that."

"I wasn't going anyway." And a look of longing passed over
him. Kerryn couldn't help it. He did a light scan on Ramon.
What was there amazed him. Ramon was very horny; so horny it
was right on the surface. And he wasn't thinking of girls
either. He was thinking of Kerryn.

Sensuality flooded through Kerryn. He decided to come out to
Ramon. It would be right. "Ramon, you've been great. But
I've got to share something with you. It's really personal.
But you'll find out anyway, and I'd rather do it this way."

"OK, shoot."

"Well, I'm gay." There, he had said it.

Ramon's jaw dropped. "You're joking, aren't you? How did you
figure me out? This isn't funny, you know."

"No, no, no, I'm serious. I really am gay. It sounds like
you are too?"

Ramon nodded. "Yes."

"I'm glad. I thought I might be the only one."

Ramon shook his head. "There aren't many."

"Well, anyway now you know. If you need help or get bogged
down in maintenance, let me know. I'd love to help."

"You got it, dude!"

They grinned, and then Kerryn stretched. "Today's gonna
hurt." So they stopped and got coffee. Kerryn returned to
his room to find his roommates sprawled everywhere and the
blankets still up. One girl came trotting out of the
bathroom, waved at Kerryn and blew him a kiss, and then that
was it. At least they had not violated his bed. So he
showered, changed, and was one of the few on time for
breakfast and the start of class.

Kerryn saw Illiar at breakfast. Illiar caught sight of him
too, and came over to sit with him.

"When did you get your license?"

"Illiar, I don't want to argue."

"When did you get it?"

"On my birthday. You have to be fourteen in order to get the
license."

Illiar looked up table, and Kerryn saw the hickey on the
side of his neck. So. He had kind of expected it by now.

"Have a good night?"

Illiar answered without thinking. "The best! Three times,
and she was so tight I could feel everything." He then
realized who he was talking to, and looked down. "Sorry
about that."

"You're straight now, Illiar. Nothing wrong with that."

"And you aren't."

"Nope."

They were quiet and finished their breakfast. Finally Illiar
said, "I'm sorry, Kerryn."

"S'OK."

"So how was your night?"

"Better than expected. The head tech called someone to put
me up, but we ended up talking tech all night."

Illiar couldn't stand it. "Why are you talking to the techs?
Don't you want to fly?"

Kerryn stood up. "In case you didn't notice, I have a
permit. I have a dozen tech certifications. I am a tech AND
a flyer. That makes me a boonie, remember?" Perhaps a little
too loudly, but the words echoed down the table and heads
turned. Softer, Kerryn continued. "I didn't want to argue,
remember?"

He left the table with his tray, and made his way to class.
Once there, he sat down and got ready, only to be joined by
Thomas, Mike, and the others from his room. Mike started.

"You didn't come back last night. Good time?"

"Sort of. No, I didn't get laid, but I found someone to hang
out with all night so as not to disturb you all."

Thomas spoke. "That was really great of you, Kerryn. You
didn't have to do that."

Kerryn shrugged. Mike spoke up again. "Actually, we saw you
have another argument with the same one as this morning, and
then you went into the FQ corridor and it let you in. How
did you do that?"

"I've got a flight permit. I was qualified on my Turian, and
have the permit on the implant. The Guild advisor told me
not to tell anyone, but I was so mad at Illiar that I just
needed to escape. That was the place he could not follow."

"Wow. Way cool." Agreement from the others.

"You may as well hear it from me before it goes around, but
I also have a lot of tech experience `cause I'm a boonie.
I'm used to roughing it and doing my own repairs and
maintenance. Illiar has a problem with that."

They were silent. Then it was Mike who spoke. "Boonie or no,
you've got a permit and you were the captain of Team Three.
I checked. Maybe we all should be boonies." That drew a
laugh.

Thomas was kind of quiet. "Well, what makes you a boonie
anyway?"

Kerryn laughed. "A lot, actually. Can you take the truth?"
They nodded. "Well, I've spent nearly all my time on the
past nine years on a light freighter with no voice response
units, no turbolifts, and just me and my dad. Our first
night? Thomas, you dimmed the lights. I had no idea where
the wall controls were, and voice activation never occurred
to me. The biggest reason I didn't go to the mixer was
because I had no formal wear. I just didn't bring any."

Mike laughed. "You're kidding, right? None of us brought
any. We had it replicated."

Kerryn shook his head. "Of course. That was stupid. We only
use the replicator for food. Clothes and stuff we buy on
station."

Thomas was awed. "So that's what being a boonie is like?
Doing without?"

"And conserving everything you have. Most of my social life
was over subspace."

"Shit."

Kerryn continued, "So please pardon my occasional weirdness
and abnormality, because I just haven't seen the wonders of
technology before."

"HA!" That came from one of the others. "Apparently boonies
also are good at sarcasm."

"I hope you all are OK with it. Seriously."

They nodded. But it was Mike who commented, "Well, then with
all that tech, you will probably whip our asses in your
ship."

"Not yet, that's for sure. I almost hit a bulkhead on my
last landing."

Class resumed and Kerryn felt better than before.

By the end of the second week, all could fly tethered.
Kerryn was still the only one who could fly independent, and
he did not flaunt that capability. Rather, if he wasn't
working tech with Ramon he would go to the hangar, take out
his trainer and fly on his own. He racked up flight hours
faster than any student on the school. But he still only
casually interacted with his peers.

Ramon, of course was different. He nearly cried when Kerryn
took him to show him the Turian Zephyr D. And when Kerryn
flew it together, packing in the lanky Ramon in the jump
seat behind him, it was extreme pleasure for the tech and
flyer both to share the experience.

Performance ratings were not discussed, but the first break
came in the form of a long weekend. Nearly all the boys went
off for the break, but a couple stayed behind. Of course,
they were all ones who either could not afford to go off-
school, or whose parents were too far away to pick them up.
Kerryn was in that category, and he had known it ahead of
time. Ramon too.

Kerryn watched from a distance as Illiar was transported
back to his parent's ship. They actually had a transporter.
Sure, it was easy, but it took a lot of power.

"Kerryn." That made him jump a mile. It was Thomas, his
roommate. "You OK?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Will you be honest with me? Just between us?"

Where was this coming from? "OK, within limits."

Thomas looked straight on at him. "Are you gay?"

Kerryn looked off into the hangar. Thomas had never treated
him with anything but respect. "Yes, I am afraid I am."

Thomas looked relieved. "Good. My family is full of
psychologists, and some of that rubs off. You hide it really
well. But did something go wrong between you and Illiar?"

Kerryn nodded a little. "Sort of. But it wasn't the gay
thing. It is the boonie thing."

"You haven't asked whether I am."

"It's none of my business, really." He glanced at Thomas,
looked at his meticulous hair, well manicured hands, and
said, "Are you?"

Thomas nodded. "Yes. But I've got my true love already, and
he and his family will be here soon. Kerryn, you're doing
great. I've found that I can be gay without making it an
issue. You can be true to yourself without hiding it. You
just have to reveal yourself to the right people."

Kerryn smiled. "Thanks, Thomas. That makes a lot of sense.
And have a wonderful weekend, OK?"

"You too." He leaned forward. "I think you and Ramon, your
tech friend, could work out very well. Don't ignore him.
Even I can tell that he is nice." And Thomas wandered off to
the transport site in response to a signal, and beamed out
as well.

That was the last of his roommates. The suite was all to
himself. He and Ramon were having dinner together tonight,
and then had decided to find out how much they could drink.
Kerryn didn't even know if they were serious about it, but
hey! Why not?

He found Ramon, and they had some good laughs walking
through the mall area. They stopped at a bar, and
automatically now Kerryn ordered bourbon. Ramon ordered the
age-old rum and coke. They would drink, chat, pay, leave
walk around a bit, and then come back and have another.

Two hours later and five rounds each, they were walking
through the mall when Ramon just looked at Kerryn.

"I've got to sit." So they found a bench.

"I feel so incredible." Kerryn spoke slowly and precisely.

"I know what y'mean." And then he giggled. "Even my cock is
hard."

"Mine too." Kerryn couldn't stop that. "I wonder why."

"Maybe `cause I turn you on."

"Maybe you are right."

A moment of silence. Ramon then ventured, "You do turn me
on, Kerryn. Lots."

This was it. It had taken drink to break through. Kerryn
caught Ramon's eyes, and said, "All my roommates are gone.
Why don't we go back to my suite and I will show you just
how much you turn me on."

"Oh god, Kerryn, let's go." And they got up, and walked a
little erratically back to Kerryn's suite. On the way,
Kerryn was very attuned to the young man next to him. He was
older, but both were at the same age level. His body was
nice. Kerryn could tell through the shirt as they leaned
waiting for the turbolift. Once inside, Kerryn couldn't
resist and pulled Ramon to him, just to hold.

But Ramon had other ideas. He leaned forward and their
mouths made contact, along with a shared long groan between
them. Ramon had very agile hands, and they wasted no time
getting to Kerryn's chest.

The turbolift doors whooshed open, and they made their way
to the suite. They encountered no one on the way, but that
wouldn't have mattered. The door closed, and privacy was
theirs. And after some very intense kissing, Ramon pulled
off and they looked at each other.

"I feel so good right now, Kerryn."

"Me too." And after lying down in the bed, fully dressed,
Ramon passed out. Kerryn had enough awareness to kick his
shoes off and then he was lost in drunken slumber as well.

Morning came. Kerryn's eyes opened slowly to a killer
headache. Short light-blond hair was in front of him, as
well as the bare skin of a neck and some ear lobes. Despite
the headache, Kerryn grinned as he snuggled closer to the
boy in front of him.

"Mmm." That was from Ramon. "My head fucking hurts."

"Mine too."

They lay peacefully, but in that aching irritation that
comes from a hangover. Finally, Ramon had to get up.
"Where's the bathroom?"

"Over there."

He got up and disappeared. Kerryn sat up as well, smiling
anyway. He made his way to the replicator and said, "Water,
sixteen ounces, cold, two servings." A whirr, and two ice
water glasses appeared. He started on his, and handed one
wordlessly to Ramon.

"My dad said to drink as much water as you could before
going to bed after drinking alcohol. Maybe it will help."

It did. They grinned at one another. "Kerryn, was last night
real? Did we really make out like forever and then sleep
together?"

"Yup. It was amazingly real for me." Kerryn had known it was
right for him. "It was right, Ramon. It was right between
us."

Shyly, Ramon nodded. "I think so too." He looked at Kerryn,
his blue eyes a little wide and a little vulnerable. "It's a
little weird, you know. It isn't like tech at all. I'm
guessing, and feeling, and I'm so unsure about it. It's not
like, constant, you know? There's no theory, no equation."

Kerryn nodded. "You're right. We can't predict the outcome
based on the process." His eyes grew a little wistful, and
Ramon could see a buried hurt there. "My best friend, I
thought he might be the one a while back. But he changed,
and I don't like what he has become, or maybe the revelation
of what he really was. He and I more or less discovered that
we liked boys together. Trouble is, he went straight and I
stayed gay. I'm scared, Ramon. I loved last night, I loved
waking up next to you. I'm just kind of feeling my way along
too." He stared into Ramon's eyes. "I think that is the way
it is supposed to be."

Ramon's smile returned. "You're right. And don't be scared.
I loved it too, and I think we should give this every chance
we can. We can find ways to be together."

"We can always escape on the Turian."

"You bet!" And then as if not quite sure, Ramon asked, "I
want this. Do you?"

Kerryn felt it reverberate in his heart and soul. "Yes,
Ramon, I want this very much. More than flight school, I
think."

Ramon yawned, and it was contagious. "You've just out-deeped
me. I need to freshen up. Meet you in the cafeteria in half
an hour?"

"Yes, sir!"

Moving slowly, they separated, and each started their
morning routine. Kerryn felt elated once the headache eased.
And at breakfast, they were again friends, but each knew
there was more to it than that.

Ramon and Kerryn spent every hour that break together. Not
drinking, although they did go back and try only one or two,
but watching vids, checking out the larger ships, and
tinkering with the craft that Ramon needed to tune up. The
head tech smiled knowingly, and commented that the trainer
fleet never looked so good.

Break ended, and school resumed. Thomas had quirked his
eyebrows at Kerryn, who grinned back impishly, and nothing
more was exchanged there. The next two months were a hard
push to get operational on several different ship classes,
including shuttles, escorts, and other freight-handling
craft. On this there was a level playing field, and Kerryn
took his share of problems. Shuttles were boring. Escorts,
the equivalent of tugboats, were only a little better. It
took some finesse to land a freight carrier with an escort.
Kerryn got the most fun out of the survey ships, partly
because they were so agile and sensitive but also because
they let the pilot inspect and examine all the exterior
features of the larger ships. Kerryn spent hours out on
these, and achieved the best rating possible in that class.
Everyone else thought it was dismal work.

He saw Illiar several times. Illiar, who tended to
overcorrect his piloting still, had just achieved the lowest
allowable rating on the survey class. He had exited his ship
with a look of disgust, and the instructor sighed.

"Blue One, you have now achieved the Acceptable performance
on this craft."

"Thanks. Hope I never have to see one of those again." And
he sauntered off. Kerryn was amazed at the change in his
friend. He decided that at the next opportunity, he would
corner him and ask.

That came later that day. Illiar was having lunch, and
Kerryn went over to sit with him.

"Hey Illiar. How are you doing?"

Illiar looked up, a look of distain crossing his face.
Kerryn raised his eyebrows, and the look melted. He was the
old Illiar again.

"Oh hi, Kerryn. I'm ok. You?"

"Good." He decided to get to the point. "You've changed.
I've never seen you hostile to anyone, and now that's all I
see. What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Bullshit. That's not the guy talking who helped me build
forty-eight tiers of interlocking blocks for a fortress we
would play in for an hour after that."

Illiar stared at him, and then laughed a little. "Maybe
you're right. Let's talk about it, but not now, OK?"

Kerryn nodded. "All right." He ate some, and then continued,
"How are your quals?"

"I got my last today on those surveyors. You?"

"I have them all too. Shuttles are so boring."

"You can say that again."

They finished with some small chat, and then Kerryn saw
Ramon come in. Panic was spread across Ramon's face, and his
hands were visibly shaking. Kerryn excused himself, and went
over to Ramon.

"What is it?" He took his tray, and set it down. "What's
going on?"

Ramon started shuddering. "There's been an accident. One of
the shuttle nacelles blew. Bobby got it on the right arm.
He's going to be fine after a week, but they won't say what
happened." Haunted eyes turned to Kerryn. "It was one of the
ones we did. I know that nacelle was fine a week ago. But
what if we missed something? I just can't remember! It's
ripping me apart."

Kerryn decided right there. "Ramon, do you trust me?"

Ramon stared at him. "Trust you?"

"I can help find the memory. But you have to trust me."

Ramon nodded. "You more than anybody."

Kerryn slipped into his mind, and Ramon hissed in shock.
Memories riffled back until Ramon muttered, "That's the
one." Kerryn walked him through the procedure, and the
visuals from the nacelle were all in perfect order. The
memory continued over the rest of that shuttle, and
surprisingly into the little kiss that followed before
Kerryn stopped.

Ramon had stopped shaking. "It wasn't my fault. We did it
right. Oh god, Kerryn, if I had messed up it would ruin me!
Techs are supposed to be flawless. We didn't see a problem.
It wasn't there when we did it." Ramon had calmed down a
little, and then looked at Kerryn suspiciously. "Now, how
did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Sift through and find my memories like that. I could feel
you there."

Kerryn smiled. "Don't freak, OK?"

"No, not OK. I will freak if I want to. How the fuck did you
do it?"

"I'm half Betazoid. It's in my genes, and I've had
training."

Ramon stared at him. "You're half Betazoid? And you didn't
tell me?"

Gently, Kerryn replied, "You didn't ask, you know." He
looked around, and no one was watching them quite yet. "You
aren't going to freak, are you?"

Ramon took a deep breath. "No, I don't think so. When were
you gonna tell me, huh?"

"When we were a little closer. It's not a bad thing, you
know. And I haven't gone into you like that before. I keep
my distance in my mind."

Ramon was slowly calming down. "This has been a hell of a
day." He quirked again, and then said, "OK, tell me what I
am thinking."

"OK." Kerryn dipped into his mind, and caught an image of
the head tech wearing a multicolored toga. "Well, I don't
think that toga would suit him."

"Shit, you can do it." Ramon grinned suddenly, and pointed
over at another student. "What's he thinking about?"

Kerryn shook his head. "Ethics, dude."

Ramon nodded. "Good answer." His face settled into a very
serious pose. "Dude, love, keep your distance with me unless
we agree on it, OK? Privacy is really important to a boonie
tech like me."

Kerryn nodded. "You've got my word, and promise on that."
And then he asked the question that Ramon had just
triggered. "Do you really love me? Really?"

Totally impassive for a moment, and then melting into a
gentle smile. "Yes, Kerryn, I love you."

"I love you too, Ramon."

Each knew that a kiss would betray them, so Kerryn
whispered, "Settle for a high-five?"

"You got it." And they reached up and high-fived each other,
grinned and Ramon finished his lunch.

Totentanz stopped by later that week, and Kerryn had the
enjoyment of showing Doryn around in the evening. He, his
father, Ramon, and the head tech had a pleasant time in the
FQ bar, and Doryn was amazed at how mature and successful
his son had become. Of course the conversation devolved into
tech talk, and Doryn was left out of some of it, but the
manly way that Kerryn would toss down Bourbon and laugh gave
him such pride.

Of course, they went out to Totentanz, found a dozen small
problems, fixed them, and Kerryn showed off his Romulan
interaction with the warp core. Doryn presented Kerryn with
a precious item for this visit: a Turian-sized micro-warp
drive. With proper installation in the expansion bay, power
routing, and controls, the little Turian Zephyr could
achieve Warp 2. And so Ramon and Kerryn spent all their
spare time doing the upgrade. Kerryn had the head tech
examine it just to be sure, and the head tech congratulated
them on a perfect installation.

It was no surprise that the maiden flight of the warp drive
was perfect, except for one thing. The range on Kerryn's
implant would handle several days of sublight travel, but at
Warp 1 in seconds he was out of Flight School range. When he
returned after only two minutes of flight, he was ordered to
land immediately.

Grinning, Kerryn executed a perfect landing in the hangar,
shut down the Zephyr and climbed out of the cockpit to find
himself standing in front of the head tech, the Flight
Commander, and the Station Commander. Uh oh. Or more likely,
oh crap.

"Sirs?"

The head tech was grinning. The Flight Commander spoke
first.

"Your implant tracer went off scope for two minutes. The
station is in an uproar. Please explain yourself."

Kerryn was confused. "I don't understand, sir. This is my
vessel, a Turian Zephyr. I am qualified to fly independently
on it. Since I was staying within the same parsec, there was
no requirement to file a flight plan."

"Your implant!" Kerryn held up his arm, and the Flight
Commander scanned it. His eyes popped wide open.

The head tech commented to the Station Commander, "As I told
you."

The Station Commander nodded. "Gold Four, how is it that you
are warp capable in a Turian?"

So Kerryn explained the installation of the micro-warp
drive. He showed the Station Commander and Flight Commander
the adaptations and installations. He powered up the system
and showed them the performance profiles.

The Flight Commander looked at the other two. "I'm lost. Do
you get it?"

The head tech nodded. "Not only do I get it, I inspected it
at his request before flight. It is expertly done."

The Station Commander nodded too. "It has been many years,
but from what I can tell, I agree. There is no safety risk,
and no violation of procedures. We seem to have assumed that
none of our flight students would be able to manage a warp-
capable ship. Especially a Turian Zephyr D, if I am not
mistaken?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Formidable work, Gold Four. Even now, you are a person to
be reckoned with." He turned stern. "Don't let it go to your
head." The Station Commander turned to the others. "Cancel
the alert. Amend procedures so that all warp-capable student
assets must file a flight plan before departure." And with
their agreement, they turned and departed.

Kerryn started shaking. Formidable? Him? He was fourteen.
Crap. But he had done nothing wrong other than to catch the
station off guard. And that was an accident! He went over
and sat down on a lift, to settle down.

One of the techs came over with coffee. "Here. We heard it
all. Jeez, you got them riled!"

"How riled?"

"Riled enough for a yellow alert, and an all-persons report
as to your whereabouts."

"Oh fuck. Ramon knew where I was going." The shaking had
returned briefly.

"He probably told the head tech."

Kerryn drained the coffee. "Thanks, but I needed something a
lot stronger than this."

"Next time you are in the bar, I guarantee you someone will
buy you a drink. This NEVER happens."

Ramon made sure he was OK when he saw him. His roommates
pounced on him and wanted to know what happened. Rumor flew
for the rest of it. But within a couple of days, it had
settled down.

Ratings were published, and Kerryn was up there. Not the
best, but in the top ten. That guaranteed a position in War
School. Illiar had also now almost made it up there, and
while he was happy for his friend, he didn't think Illiar
had the right temperament for war.

Ramon and Kerryn were in the bar again when suddenly things
got suspiciously subdued. Kerryn glanced out the side of his
vision and saw none other than the Station Commander there,
looking for someone. He was in casual clothes, and it was
obvious that the respect of the man was commanded by his
presence. If he had been in uniform, everyone would be at
attention.

Kerryn knew when the eyes landed on him, and sighed. "Ramon,
don't freak, but the Station Commander is on his way over."
Ramon nodded quickly, but Kerryn could see him torque up.
And then he was on Kerryn's right side.

"Gold Four?"

Kerryn turned, and nodded. "Yes, sir." And then on impulse,
he gestured to the chair. "Would you like to join us?"

The gentleman smiled, and could recognize when a student was
buffering for another one. But why not? "For a few moments.
But then I have to go watch the mixer." He looked at
Kerryn's clothes. "Most students enjoy the mixers. You
haven't been to one."

Kerryn nodded, surprised. "No, sir. They are a bit too
eclectic for me, and Ramon too, so we usually drink and talk
tech instead, sir."

The commander's eyes flicked to Ramon, who had calmed down
and gained some poise. He was amazed at how cool Kerryn was.
"Sounds like you think of yourselves as boonies."

Defiance rose, but politely Kerryn nodded. "Yes, sir."

The commander stopped and shook his head. "Well, the mixers
serve a purpose more than getting laid, you know." Kerryn's
eyebrows raised high, and Ramon gulped. "Social skills are
important, and while I have no complaints after talking to
you, Ramon here could use some socialization. I suggest that
it would be a very good idea for you two to go to the mixer,
and at least talk tech there. You can also watch our pride
and joy make complete asses of themselves if you want also.
This bar," he gestured around, "is a great place to be. But
not always."

Kerryn heard an implied order. "Sir, thank you for your
guidance. We'll see you there."

"Good answer. Much easier than me ordering you two to go."
And he bade them farewell, and they left.

"OK, Ramon, what do you have that is sexy to wear?"

"Huh?" Ramon was quaking.

"Come on, he's right. If you can't have an off-duty
conversation with your commander, you need more practice.
I'll tell you what. We'll go together, and before each one
we'll come here and get loaded. How's that?"

Ramon laughed. He had such a great laugh, and it was
relatively rare to hear. "Deal. Meet back here ready to
conquer in thirty minutes." They split up and went to
change.

Kerryn knew what he wanted to wear. After all, he was
dressing for Ramon. He had replicated a nice matte dark
brown pants and shirt combination, where the shirt was
longer and more like a tunic. With his long hair, this gave
Kerryn a nice, comfortable feel but the outfit showed off
his body well. The only ornament was a Guild Membership pin
on the collar. He brushed his hair until it hung like rough
silk. And he thought to himself that this was the first time
he had ever actually gone to lengths to make himself
attractive for anyone. He hoped Ramon would like it.

They met back at the bar, Kerryn first. He was well enough
known now among the older regulars that they recognized
someone dressed for an occasion. Whistles echoed through the
bar, and Kerryn grinned and winked in response.

Ramon entered. He looked good in a gray shirt and pants.
Somewhat techno in style, whereas Kerryn was going for
neutral. But when Ramon saw Kerryn, his eyes widened, and he
just stared. Kerryn decided to bail him out.

"Ramon, you look great! Who knew you would clean up so
well?" And Ramon flushed, grinned and joined him.

"Kerryn, you could fuck me now if you wanted to, you look so
incredibly hot."

Kerryn spoke softly. "Someday soon, I promise. But we
usually take our clothes off for that." And that sent Ramon
laughing again.

Two drinks, and then they went to the mixer. That turned out
to be a lot more interesting than they considered. For one
thing, girls kept coming over to them to talk and socialize.
Kerryn had no problem with girls, being truly neutral on the
idea. Ramon remained kind of quiet, until one of them sat on
his lap as a greeting. Kerryn winked at him, and Ramon
laughed and found some skill at bantering.

This puzzled the girls to no end. And so they kept coming
back, although everyone's patience eventually runs out and
it slowed down. It was odd enough to see a flyer and a tech
at the same table, let alone conversational, but to be also
really cute and uninterested? Bizarre.

Qualifying exams were approaching. These were a series of
day-long written and flight tests over a period of several
weeks that were designed to evaluate, certify and grade the
flight students. During the tests, Kerryn and Ramon barely
saw each other as the exams were so intense and continuous.
But all those who passed would come out with a third class
flight license. For Kerryn who already had one, it just
meant extra quals on the different ship classes. Just the
same, he might get an upgrade out of it.

Eight weeks later, the ratings came out, and again Kerryn
was near the top, but not at the top. That was fine by him,
and when he went up for the update on his implant, the
Flight Commander grinned.

"Gold Four, congratulations on excellent performance. Since
you already had a third class license, you earned an
upgrade. More importantly, your upgrade was sufficient for a
first class flight license and certification.
Congratulations, Lieutenant."

Kerryn flushed red with excitement. "Thank you, sir!" And
they handed him his three star pin, which he immediately put
on the left collar tab next to his Guild emblem.

"Before you go, Lieutenant, there is one more thing." The
Head Technician stepped forward, and updated his implant as
well. He handed him a bronze pin as well. "Congratulations,
Master Technician."

Kerryn's jaw dropped. "How is that possible, sir?"

"We techs continually test and evaluate. We have our ways.
Even though you did not enroll in the Tech program, you have
met all its qualifications, as has Ramon too, and when that
is done, rank should not be withheld." He grinned, shook
hands, and then shooed him off.

An hour later, Kerryn stood in front of the mirror in his
new Guild uniform. Brown shirt, brown pants, brown boots,
with an optional brown jacket. Good thing it was brown. The
Guild crest was on his shirt, and he placed the first class
flight pin on the left collar, and the Master Technician pin
on the right collar. He struck a pose in the mirror, and a
sexy young Guild member looked back at him. A mixer tonight,
the bar beforehand with Ramon, and then a month-long break
before Flight resumed.

He hadn't told anyone how that month was being spent. He
intended to tell Ramon tonight if he thought it would go
well. Belay that, Kerryn thought. I'm going to tell him
anyway. I owe him that much.

When he entered the bar, Ramon was there as were some of the
other senior techs. When they saw his two pins, the
deafening roar of approval that took place echoed out into
the mall area. Ramon was speechless for a moment, and then
hearty congratulations abounded.

They looked so good. Lieutenant Kerryn and Master Technician
Ramon. Side by side, grinning. No one knew who started it,
but someone started chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" and while
the bar suddenly realized the truth between these two, the
approval and chanting grew and grew.

Ramon looked terrified at Kerryn, and Kerryn just grinned
and looked at Ramon. "What do you think? They're expecting
something."

"KISS!! KISS!! KISS!!"

Ramon nodded. "Just this once." And amid the catcalls and
screaming, they faced each other squarely, smiled, came
closer, and just briefly brushed their lips against each
other. Breaking contact, their eyes squarely looking into
each other among the applause, Kerryn felt the sizzle of the
only time he ever would feel the unique feeling of first
true love.

He said the words. "Imzadi, I love you."

Ramon flushed bright red, and they clung together briefly,
and then each had to have a drink after that. Four later and
quite merry, they sailed into the mixer with grins on their
faces.

One would almost call it an anachronism. This mixer had more
formality than any other, in that all the newly licensed
flyers and techs were strutting around in new uniforms. It
wasn't quite as much about getting laid as it was showing
off. But that only lasted an hour or so, and then it was
back to finding someone to get laid with.

Thomas and Mike, Kerryn's roommates noticed Kerryn enter
with Ramon. Thomas grinned, and Mike made a curious noise.

"Jeez, Thomas, you'd think they were dating or something."

Thomas decided to let him in on it. "Dude, they are.
Where've you been?"

"Shit. Look, he made First Class. And a Master Technician!"
Mike was awed. "He's incredible that way."

Thomas nodded. "Yeah. If only he would loosen up a little.
He's going to be miserable if he can't relax."

Mike saw the truth in that. "You're right." He grinned.
"Come on, we owe him his recognition."

There were many congratulations among all the students.
Kerryn was generally liked among those few who knew him, but
no one could fault his flying. There was only one hurdle to
make it through. Illiar.

Illiar saw Kerryn, and went over to congratulate him. They
had kind of resolved the boonie thing. But when Illiar saw
that Kerryn had made First Class, his feelings were mixed.
Illiar had done well. But this boonie had taken all the
glory.

They finally stood opposite each other. Kerryn saw Illiar's
Third Class pin, smiled and congratulated him. "Illiar, way
to go! You are going to absolutely love the independence. I
am so happy for you."

Illiar fought with words. He wanted to lash out. He wanted
to make some snide remark. But Kerryn had devoted all his
waking moments to this, whereas Illiar had played, gotten
laid, and moved in political circles. Important circles. He
realized that someday he might need an ally in Kerryn, and
Kerryn had done nothing against him. So he bowed somewhat
stiffly, put on a plastic smile and congratulated him on
doing so well.

Kerryn knew it was hard. But Illiar would have to adapt. And
as he watched the sequence go by, he let Illiar come to his
conclusion, and all was well enough.

Much later, Kerryn and Ramon sat at a table in relative
quiet. Kerryn was dreading bringing up the next topic, but
fortunately Ramon was observant enough to know something was
bothering his love.

"OK, little boy, what is it?"

Kerryn rolled his eyes. "It's Lieutenant Little Boy to you."

"Sure it is. What's up?"

Go ahead, Kerryn thought. "Well, we have a month off. You're
going home for the time."

"Yup. I'm going to miss you."

"I am going to miss you. But I'm going to be really busy."

"Oh? Totentanz have that many problems?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No. I'm going to take a series of
qualifying exams during most of the month."

Ramon picked his head up in interest. "Oh? With who?"

"Starfleet."

Ramon looked at him, dumbfounded. "Starfleet? As in the
Academy?"

"Yes, although I have prepared to test out of the Academy."

"Why?"

Kerryn looked away. "My dad and I have discussed it for
years. It is every pilot's dream, in a way. Big ships,
latest technology. Not scrounging around like I do for
Totentanz. Not having to worry about money."

Ramon was silent. Then, he said in a small voice, "Starfleet
is what everyone hopes for someday. I knew you and I might
be hired in different places, but somehow we could make it
work. Would Starfleet allow that?"

Kerryn nodded. "There's a lot of crossover between the Guild
and Starfleet."

Ramon sat there. "Well, you will come back for me?"

"Oh god, Ramon, I won't go into Starfleet if I can't have
you near me!"

They just held hands for a moment, and then Ramon nodded.
"You have to try, and we will find a way to be together."
And before it turned into more, they exited the mixer and
went to Ramon's rooms for some intensely physical sharing
and support. They as yet had not made it past really intense
kissing and stroking, and there was no need tonight. They
fell asleep together, half-naked in Ramon's bed.

The following morning, Lieutenant Kerryn escorted Master
Technician Ramon to his waiting ship, meeting his parents
and seeing him off. And then, raising the implant for hangar
access, he strode confidently across the huge hangar towards
the little Turian Zephyr D in full sight of the remaining
class, filed his flight plan, and gracefully launched from
the hangar out into space before going into warp for his
rendez-vous with the Totentanz. He was fourteen, and so far
a walking success story, and of course, a boonie.

Doryn was bursting with pride, and together they spent a
week going through the Starfleet EPU. Kerryn had completed
the program, but wanted to refresh it from his new
perspective. It might help him glean a few insights. And it
filled the time until the handoff.

Finally, Totentanz arrived at the handoff point. The USS
Lexington, a Federation starship would be meeting them there
to pick Kerryn up for the external exam meetings. It had
cost them a thousand credits, but once that exam fee was
paid, it was up to Starfleet to collect, test, and redeliver
the candidate. So, for Totentanz in the middle of its cargo
flight, Kerryn would depart in the Turian Zephyr and meet
the Lexington nearby.

Kerryn was ready. He lifted the little Turian out of the
hangar, waggled his wings in farewell, and went to warp. It
would be about forty minutes. During that time, he thought
carefully about Ramon, and the Guild. Was Starfleet reaching
too far? His success in the Guild seemed ensured. His
thoughts continued to run deep until he was hailed.

"Turian Zephyr, this is the USS Lexington."

"Lexington, acknowledged. ETA is two minutes. Please secure
your hangar to receive me."

"Very good. Here are the coordinates."

"Thanks."

Kerryn saw the ship now, and guided her behind the main
section until he matched their velocity vector. The doors
opened, and he eased the little craft in. All stop, magnetic
catches in place, and a system shutdown, and he was there.
He jumped down from the cockpit to be greeted by an Ensign.

"Ensign Dallow, sir. You are?"

"Lieutenant Kerryn of the Freighter Guild, Flight Officer
First Class and Master Technician."

Ensign Dallow seemed unimpressed. "Right this way. All the
students in for the exam are on Deck Ten, which includes the
testing center, the holodeck, and Ten Forward, our main
lounge. You don't have a Starfleet clearance, so you will be
restricted only to Deck Ten without an escort." And he
rattled on with standard information and protocol.

At one point, exiting a turbolift they passed a large
window, and Kerryn stopped to look. It showed the entire
back end of the vessel, the engineering section, and the
nacelles. Clear, clean, pristine. Well-lit. It was like
heaven.

Ensign Dallow coughed politely. He loved doing this. The
boonies always loved this view.

He entered his quarters, to get settled. Ensign Dallow gave
him a communicator and had one more comment for him.

"Lieutenant, we have one final piece of advice on the
testing. For this exercise all your simulations will be
using a Soyuz-class starship. You have about twelve hours
before the tests begin, and often it helps to review the
class."

Kerryn nodded. "Soyuz A or A Plus?"

Dallow grinned. No one had ever asked him that before. This
one would do well. "A Plus." And the door closed.

Kerryn was in awe. A real starship, larger than any he had
been on before. Self-opening doors, crew running around busy
with tasks, unlimited replicator use, and no money!
Everything was free! Well, that wasn't quite true, but it
was much less focused on monetary values. His hand caressed
the walls and furnishings around him. Oh yeah, voice
activation.

"Computer."

Chirp.

"Dim lights to seventy percent."

Chirp. The lights went down a bit. Less harsh, a warmer
feeling. Slowly he began to immerse himself in this
environment. He called up a deck ten outline, found where
everything was, and then went out and wandered the deck. He
could easily get lost except that this was he - he never got
lost in space. And so with curiosity he entered the lounge
at Ten Forward.

Wow. It was like a nightclub. Tables scattered around, quiet
music in the background. Very much out of the element for
him. This wasn't a freighter bar. Many officers in uniform.
Quiet discussions, occasional laughter.

"Here for the exams?" Kerryn turned to find an older officer
addressing him. He nodded mutely.

"Well, best of luck. It's open seating, and synthehol is
available at the bar."

Without thinking, Kerryn asked, "Any real alcohol?"

Surprised, the officer shrugged. "There's always something."

Kerryn took a seat at a small table. He stared out into
space, the star field streaming by. He was very far from
home, and very alone. Suddenly, he wished he were anywhere
other than on the Lexington. Ramon was very far away.

"No panicking." Someone had sat down with him. It was an
ensign, young, and female. She smiled at him. "Sorry, but I
could see it building. You must be from far out of
Federation space?"

"Pretty far. Delvin Six."

She whistled. "Near the Cardassian border, too. Tense area."
She held out her hand. "I'm Maria.You?"

"Kerryn." Apparently they were leaving rank behind.

"You're pretty young for the exams."

Kerryn smiled. "I'm almost fifteen." He regarded her
curiously. "Did you attend the Academy?" When she nodded, he
continued, "What was it like?"

"Wonderful, hard, challenging, thrilling, all those things.
It isn't easy, but it is certainly formative. I grew an
awful lot there." And she went on to describe the
activities, the flight school, and the rest. It would be
like a dream come true.

The doors to the bar opened, and Kerryn glanced back warily,
but only more officers were admitted. Maria noticed this.

"You're a little touchy. Is it that sensitive out by you?"

Kerryn nodded. "Freighter Guild members are ok, but every
door opening could be a business opportunity or a threat."

"Hmm. Starfleet gives us a modicum of security."

They chatted a bit, and Maria grew to respect this kid. He
was years older than he should be. And cute. He would be
gorgeous someday, but right now he was like a puppy that she
wanted to stroke, cuddle and hug. When Kerryn finally began
to relax a little, Maria noticed that his eyes twinkled and
his smile was easier. Maybe he was gorgeous now, she
thought.

"Kerryn, it has been a pleasure. But I'm going to bed. It's
been a long shift."

Kerryn stood. "Good idea. It's been about twenty hours since
I left. Eight to go to the exams. Thanks for joining me."

"You're welcome." She leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"Good luck!" And she left him.

Kerryn went back to his cabin. He took an ultrasonic shower,
which he hated but it got him clean, and he went to bed. His
last thoughts were of the Soyuz A-plus class vessel. Not
bad.

At 0700 Kerryn was admitted to the testing center, for basic
paperwork and the exam selection. He paid his thousand
credits, and checked off all the exams on the list. The exam
coordinator raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. For a
thousand credits, Kerryn would take every exam they had!

Eight hours later, he was exhausted and his fingers were
very stiff. It had been grueling. Engineering was very
tedious but he knew he aced that one. Communications too.
The next set were sixteen hours from now. The examiner
addressed the five candidates.

"On this deck you will find the Holodeck. You may find it
some use in relaxation."

Kerryn got his first look at the other students. He was not
impressed. Three were human, and were older, perhaps in
their twenties. They were obviously friends, and not taking
this very seriously. The fourth was a girl, who on the break
had kept saying, "Admiral Nachayev told me that ." to some
obscure topic, fact or fiction. They were all Federation
members, but apparently not on the regular exam sequence.
That kind of made Kerryn feel even more alone. There were no
other outsiders.

They did try to chat at the lunch break. Kerryn had felt a
little foolish, standing in front of the food replicator as
he asked for Cholyuk Soup. It was a distinctly Romulan dish,
and the Federation system did not recognize it. So he
settled for a chicken sandwich and vegetables. But even
lunch separated Kerryn from the others. He had more than a
year of flight experience, and a lifetime in space. These
four were all planet-bound. They had never flown in anything
smaller than a shuttle, and never piloted anything. The one
thing they had in common was their awe of a starship.

Kerryn thought back to his virtual captaincy as Gold Four.
In hindsight, he had loved it. Maybe he would someday be a
Starfleet captain.

Surprising, the ensign named Maria met him in Ten Forward
that evening. They were much more conversational, and he
opened up to her about feeling awkward as the only outsider.
She sympathized. And then the magic happened.

"So, I hear you flew in on your own. You have your own
ship?"

Kerryn nodded, his eyes lighting up. "Yes. It's a little on
the dated side, but I've got a micro-warp drive installed so
I can hit warp two."

Her eyes lit up. "You know engineering?"

He grinned, straightened, and said, "Lieutenant Kerryn,
Freighter Guild Flight Officer First Class and Master
Technician at your service."

Her jaw dropped. "Wow. Very good, lieutenant."

This was the first girl, no, the first woman, that had
interested Kerryn. "Would you like to see my ship?"

She grinned, and nodded. "Let's go. It's in the shuttle
hangar?"

"Yes." And she escorted him down to the hangar, where the
little Turian was parked.

"Ah, a Turian Zephyr! With some modifications? Very nice.
Much better than the Prevyar crap that they keep selling."

"I see you know your craft. Then come see this. This is a
Zephyr D, the last of five made, and hand signed by Turian
himself!" And together they went over the ship.

Maria kept her objectivity. But this kid knew his stuff if
he could install a micro-warp drive in a Turian. She hoped
that he wouldn't figure out her secret. And so she claimed
fatigue, and they returned to deck ten and she took him back
to his quarters.

Kerryn smiled. "Thanks, Maria. You didn't have to listen to
all that."

She shook her head. "No, but I enjoyed it immensely. I'll
see you tomorrow." And the door closed.

Kerryn went to bed. But his thoughts were of Maria.

Kerryn was the only candidate being tested the next two
days. Ambassadorial took nearly the entire second day, and
included a holodeck simulation of an encounter. That had
blown his mind, as the holodeck was so incredibly lifelike.
He could smell the stench of the race he was negotiating
with, but was able to hold his composure. But his Betazoid
skills did not help with a hologram.

Cultural Qualifying wasn't too bad, although it was short.
Vulcans, Klingons, Ferengi, the other Federation races he
could keep track of. Too bad Romulans weren't in the exam.

Science Qualifying took the third day. That wiped him out.
Engineering science was one thing, but life science was
nasty. He knew he couldn't remember the reproductive habits
of the Hoorta, but he had no problem with the Andorians.

At the end of the third day he found the holodeck empty as
he passed it. Curious, he entered to find the lined black
and white grid around him. Hmm.

"Computer."

Chirp.

"Set to evening, planet Betazed, middle latitudes near the
ocean."

"Program complete." And swoosh, a warm breeze blew over him
as he stood in the orange fading daylight with the purple
waves gliding on the white sand. A pristine city was nearby,
and the air was warm and sweet.

He stood there, just absorbing the amazing feeling and yet
knowing it wasn't real. But suddenly to his left, the arch
appeared and the door opened. The girl came in with one of
the boys, both from the testing center. They were giggling
together, and didn't notice Kerryn for a few seconds.

"Oh! I'm sorry, did we interrupt?"

Kerryn knew the look. They were here to fuck. Bitterness
rose in him, but he graciously shook his head. "No, I was
just leaving. End Program." And the grid returned.

"It was beautiful! Where was it?"

"My mother's home planet. I'd never visited it before. Good
bye, now." And Kerryn left.

He was frustrated. Didn't they take these exams seriously?
Was Starfleet to be blown off like this? Angry, he was on
his way to Ten Forward when he saw Maria. The coincidence
never hit him.

"Going somewhere? Looks like you had a bad day."

In the hall? Why not. He sighed. "I was on the holodeck, in
a very special place. Two of the other students came in
unannounced looking for a place to fuck, and didn't notice
me until it was stupid." Sheepish now, he continued. "I was
so tired, I just wanted a little peace and wonder, and they
ruined it, so I let them have it."

Maria could see the agitation. "Come with me. There's
another holodeck on deck twelve." And she brought him down
to it, and followed him in.

"Go ahead. Where were you?"

"Computer."

Chirp.

"Set to evening, planet Betazed, middle latitudes near the
ocean."

"Program complete." The swoosh, and it was all back again.

Maria exclaimed, "It's beautiful!"

Kerryn could talk to Maria. "It's my mother's home planet.
She left my dad and I when I was almost five years old. She
was claustrophobic, and had to return home or go insane." He
stared into the ocean mist and the darkening sky. "I could
help her remember places like this, where it was open and
beautiful, and it would ease the feeling, but near the end
there was nothing I could do." He turned to her. "We don't
have holodecks, and it is likely I'll never visit Betazed,
so this is the next best thing."

"I'm sorry."

"S'OK. Was a long time ago."

They stood and watched night fall. Maria tucked her arm in
his. She was only a very small bit shorter than Kerryn. "I
like this."

"So do I." And ripples of sensation propagated through his
body.

Some time later, he yawned, and they laughed. "Time to go.
Computer!"

"Wait." Maria stopped him. "Computer. Save program as Maria
Four."

Chirp.

He looked at her, and she grinned impishly back. "I liked
it. It's a great place for making out, you know."

"End program." A