Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:03:46 -0700 From: David Courson Subject: Quarterback with the Emerald Eyes - Part 7 This story is fiction. Any similarity to any persons living or dead is merely a coincidence. If you are not allowed by law to view this material, please do not do so. If you are under 18 years of age, please leave now. This is a love story between two barely under the age of 18, year old boys in high school. If that offends you, I apologize and ask that you not read any further. Otherwise, enjoy. Quarterback with the Emerald Eyes -- Part 7 Feeling real groggy the next morning from lack of sleep, I didn't feel like talking. I helped get things packed back in the car, then headed up to the shower house without Todd. He saw me leave but never asked if he could join me. I figured a shower would help wake me up and maybe make my body feel better. When I walked in, there were a couple guys there. I could tell they were watching each other, giving small hints as to their intentions. I gave a sigh and went to the opposite wall and turned on the water and got the temperature right. Just standing under the spray, I heard the other two shut off the water. A few minutes later, I heard a voice from behind me ask if I was okay. I opened my eyes and saw Todd turning on his shower. "I'm fine. Just didn't sleep too good last night." Leaning back against the wall on my arms, I let the hot water run down my body. The muscles I had used over the weekend in the pool and while having sex were aching ever so slightly and the water felt like it was putting out a fire. Not talking or moving, Todd asked, "You sure you're okay?" "I'm fine," I said, a little too harshly. "Fine," he said and stopped talking, altogether. Feeling guilty that I snapped at him, I stood and walked to him. With his back to me, I wrapped my arms around his stomach and said, "I'm sorry. I only got a couple hours sleep and I'm really tired." Stopping his wash, he folded his arms over mine and leaning his head down to touch mine, while we stood under the spray. A short while later, I pulled my arms back from around him and went back to my nozzle. I grabbed the soap and started washing. When we finished, we started walking back down the hill to the car. Todd grabbed me and pulled me into his side. I didn't feel like holding him, but I put my arm around his back to keep him from asking any questions. We finished drying off, got dressed and headed back to Atlanta. On the way, Todd asked if I wanted to stop for lunch. I declined, telling him I had a headache. I looked out my window the entire ride home. After he dropped me off, I went into the house and told my mom and dad I was home then went to my room. School started the next day and I needed to get some good rest and finish the last couple of chapters of the mandatory reading assigned to the junior class. Come bedtime, I fell asleep instantly, letting all memories of the weekend fall away as if they never happened. Because of our advanced status in Math, Kelly and I had to go to the local university for our last period. We were both in Statistics I. After fifth period, we had half an hour to make it downtown to GSU. Since we both had to pass back by the school to get home, we ended up riding together, alternating cars. Along those rides, Kelly and I started getting closer as friends. We had always been close, we studied and hung out on down times, but we never really became best friends close, even though we thought of each other as best friends. Noticing, that first week, that I was being more silent than usual, she asked if I was okay. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about some things." "Anything you wanna share?" I wasn't worried about trusting her with my secret, but more about her accepting me for who I was. We never talked about this topic and I didn't know how she would feel. About to give in, I thought twice and said, "Nah, it's nothing. I'm fine." We remained silent until we got to campus. When we parked, she turned off the car and looked at me and said, "You know, if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here for you." Smiling a very gracious smile, I said, "Thanks", and followed her lead out. On Thursday, I ran into Todd in the hall and he asked if I wanted to come over after school. I told him it wouldn't be a good idea this week with the readjusting to the schedule, the amount of work, not to mention the college math I was taking. He seemed a little hurt with my declination of his invitation. He just said cool and suggested next week might be better and, not waiting for an answer, he turned to leave. I couldn't help but watch him as he did so, and I saw him stop and talk to one of his classmates. Before I got caught, I turned my attention back to my locker and finished switching my books. Over the course of the next few weeks, Todd and I never had a chance to get together. We saw each other pass in the hallway and gave a little nod with our heads to acknowledge each other, but we didn't get a chance to do much talking. Whenever I did pass him, that same classmate was always at his side. A girl named Paige. Paige Myerson. She was the most popular girl in school and I secretly loathed her for getting to be seen in public with the boy I loved. Or at least, I think I loved. Football practice started and that really ended our chances to get together. By the time practice was over, his parents would already be home and mine would have expected me back at the house working on my homework. I was starting to really miss Todd and decided I was gonna make time that weekend to spend with him. I was walking down the hall when I spotted him. There were some students between him and me, so he never saw me, but he was alone at his locker and before I could get close enough to call his name, Paige walked up, put her hand on his back and got his attention. He turned and smiled at her and bent down and kissed her. I froze. I couldn't believe what I just saw. I felt the tears starting to well in my eyes and quickly turned and found another route to class. Before I walked in my classroom, I angrily wiped my eyes, took some deep breaths and put on a happy face. When I found my seat, I was getting situated when Kelly leaned over and asked if I was okay. "I'm fine. Everything's great." After my class let out at GSU, I rode around, still not believing what I had seen earlier in the day. I went down and parked my car at Piedmont Park and walked around the playground, finding a table, I sat and thought about everything that I had been through with Todd for the last year. Why would he go and get a girlfriend? I guess I finally had my answer as to why he never returned my love for him. Seeing how late it was, I decided it was time to head home before my parents sent the Calvary after me. Instead of turning down my road, my hands kept the wheel straight and I found myself turning towards Todd's house. I didn't want to be there, I don't even know why I was there, but when I got to his house, he wasn't there. I stopped for a minute and looked at the house where I had spent so many wonderful nights and wondered what was happening. Why things were, all the sudden, going south. I guess I sat a little too long, because as I did, Todd turned into the driveway. "Oh, shit," I said aloud. I couldn't just take off, that would look too weird, so I sat and waited for him to emerge from his car, and then I did the same. Closing the door, I walked around front and put my hands in my pockets and leaned against the grill, crossing my feet. Walking over towards me, Todd said, "Whatcha doing here?" He had a smile on his face as if nothing was wrong. "Don't know, really. My car just kinda steered its way over here." "Well, you wanna come inside." "Nah, I gotta be home in about ten minutes." We just stared at each other in silence for a minute when he said, "Well, I'm gonna go inside," and turned towards the door. I pushed myself off the car and took a few steps towards him, and said, "You know, I saw you at your locker this afternoon and was gonna come up to you and talk for a few minutes." Todd stopped and turned to look at me and said, "Why didn't you?" "Because I saw Paige come up and then saw you kiss her." Todd's face fell. He knew he was caught and there was no denying it. He stood there trying to form some sort of explanation, but I got my voice back faster than he. "You know, what kills me the most, is that if you didn't want to be with me anymore, you could've just said so, instead of giving me the impression we were still together and then I find you kissing her." "We are still together," he said to me, and walked over. "It didn't look like it in the hall. It looked like it was you and Paige." "She's just a cover. I was afraid that people would start to wonder why I didn't have a girlfriend and before they did, I wanted to play it safe. I asked Paige if she wanted to go out and she said yes." "You do realize that everyone will be watching you two now. I mean, even in the geek circles, the news that you two are together is talked about. I have to stand around with my friends and listen to them talk about my boyfriend going out with the most popular girl in school. You know that makes you the most popular boy in school. So not only are you the best looking, the quarterback, smart and funny, you're now the most popular. I'll never get a chance to talk to you now without being ridiculed." "You won't be ridiculed. When have you ever been ridiculed?" "You know, you're right. I've never been ridiculed, but when we stop talking and you walk away with your friends and the tall, dumb jock with the red hair asks, `Who's the fag?' and you say, `Hey, he's good at math', instead of, `He's not a fag', I guess you can say that's not being ridiculed, but instead, not being stood up for." Todd stepped closer to me and said, "I did tell him you weren't a fag." "In that case, I appreciate you defending me, but it wasn't the first thing out of your mouth." Taking a few deep breaths, I walked back to my car saying, "I need to get home." I opened the car door and Todd turned to walk back up the drive. Before I got in, I called his name and he turned to look at me. "In case you've forgotten, we're both fags," and got in and drove away with Todd watching me until I turned the corner. The following day, I was at my locker between classes when Todd came up behind me. I said hello but kept up what I was doing. "Listen, I'm sorry the way things have gone since school started. I should have told Bobby you weren't a fag from the very start, but I was just worried that we might get caught. I know it seems like an excuse, but I got scared." I didn't really know what to say, so I kept up switching my books out. "Hey, why don't you and I spend Saturday together? Just you and me. We could catch a movie, have some dinner. Whadda ya say?" "I don't know. This new math's kicking my butt. I've got a lot to catch up on." He stood in silence for a minute and said, "We'll maybe the next weekend." "Yeah, okay, maybe," I said, as I closed my locker and turned to look at him. "I'll have to see how much homework I'm gonna have, though." "Great," he said, smiling that big smile with his eyes twinkling at me. I had a feeling he wanted to lean in for a kiss, as did I, but instead, I told him I'd see him later and left him standing there. We weren't able to get together the next weekend or the one following, but we talked over the phone a couple days a week. They were never the long conversations we used to have, but we talked, nonetheless. The week after Thanksgiving was the first week my homework load hadn't been as heavy. The math was beginning to get easier and I was finally able to take some time for myself. I ended up passing Todd in the hall on Tuesday and got a minute to talk with him. "Hey," I said to him. "Hey," he replied, looking around. "Listen, I gotta go out of town this weekend, but things should be good if you want to get together Friday night. Maybe just a movie or something." Looking at me, he said, "Hey, that sounds good. I got practice until about five. Why don't you call me about six or so?" "Yeah, I'll do that," I said. Looking around, again, it seemed as if he was uncomfortable, so I told him I'd see him later and left. Friday was just a normal day and I saw Todd in the hall. We nodded as usual and went about our business. That night, after I returned from GSU, I finished my homework and got things ready to go out with Todd. I told my parents that Todd and I were gonna go out for dinner or something, since we finally had some free time from homework and they told me to have a good time. About an hour later, I called Todd's cell and it went to voicemail. I tried his house and after three rings, Mrs. Blyth said, "Hello?" "Hi, Mrs. Blyth. It's Blake." "Hey, honey. How are ya? Haven't seen you around lately." "Yeah. School's been brutal this year. I have to take my math class at GSU `cause no one at my school teaches it." "Wow, I'm impressed," she said. "Thanks," I said and was sure I blushed. "So, how're your parents?" "Oh, they're fine. Just the same ole thing." "That's good. Tell them we said hi." "Will do. Listen, I was hoping to talk to Todd." "Oh, I'm sorry, Blake. He's on a date with Paige." I remained silent for a moment and then asked, "Was it last minute? He told me to call him around six." "No. He's been planning it for a few days now. Did you try his cell phone?" "Yes, ma'am. He didn't answer." "Well, I'm sorry. Did you wanna leave him a message?" "No, don't worry about it. It wasn't important. I'll see him at school on Monday." "Okay, sweetie. You have a good weekend." "You too. Tell Don I said hello." "I'll do it. Bye." "Bye." I hung up the phone, stunned. He told me to call him at six knowing he was gonna be on a date. Why? I told my parents that something came up with Todd and we weren't going out after all. I went to my room and didn't come out until the following day when we were leaving to go to my grandmother's house, on my dad's side, in Savannah. The next few weeks at school, I couldn't put my concentration in the right spot. Every time I would see Todd, I thought back to that Friday night and how he lied to me. Because of the distraction, my grades started to slip. It wasn't until after Christmas break, that my mom started to question the reason. I kept telling her it was harder than my sophomore year and she bought it for a short while. When my report card came out in late January and she saw I had two B's and one C, she forced me to tell her what was going on. "Nothing's wrong," I said, lying to her. "Blake, there's something wrong. You've never come home with anything less than an A and now, a C. Are you not studying?" "No, ma'am. I'm studying. It's just harder." "Hockey pucks," she said. Now I knew she was angry. She never did cuss, but when she started saying random things that had nothing to do with the conversation, that was her way of cussing. "Until I get an explanation, you are not leaving this room, young man." "Mom, there's nothing to tell. It's just harder," I said and stood up. Through gritted teeth, she said, "Sit you're butt back down." I had never seen my mom so angry. Not even with Mitch, so I did as I was told for fear of what would happen next. "Are you being picked on at school?" "No," I exclaimed. "Bullied?" "No, mom." "Well, what is it?" "Nothing." "Stop lying to me. What's wrong? There's something you're not telling me. Now what is it?" "Nothing," I said, about to start crying. "Blake Alexander Moore, you tell me what's going on right now, or you're grounded for the rest of the school year." "Mom, there's nothing going on," I said, not being able to hide the welling of tears in my eyes. "Is it marijuana?" "No." "Cocaine?" "Mom," I begged. "Stop. There's nothing wrong." "Blake, tell me. . ." Before she could finish the sentence, I couldn't help myself. I wanted the interrogation to stop and I blurted out, "I'm gay, okay," as tears started running down my cheeks. She took two steps back and looked at me. She didn't know what to say. "I've been struggling to figure things out. I can't concentrate on anything. I don't know what to do," I said through my tears. Still, my mother stared at me. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth and finally turned and walked away. Getting up and going after her, she threw a hand up for me to stay where I was. I didn't disobey. Returning a few minutes later, she come over to me and handed me some money. "This should do for a while. You'll need to get a job soon, but this should hold you some." I looked down and saw she had placed four one hundred dollar bills in my hand. "What's this for?" "You need to leave," she said, as straight faced as ever. "What?" I said, not wanting to believe what she was saying. "You can't stay here anymore. You need to leave." Looking into hear eyes, I saw no emotion from the woman who had given me life. "But, Mom," I said as my voice broke. "Get your things and get out!!!" she yelled. "But, where will I go?" "That's not my problem," she said and turned on her heal and slammed the door to her bedroom. Standing there, the tears started to flow faster. My own mother was kicking me out of the house for something I had no control over. I walked to her bedroom door and started hitting it. "It's not fair. Why?" I screamed through my sobs. She never answered me. I hit her door, hard, one last time and went to my room and grabbed what I could. I threw my clothes in a bag and grabbed other items I was going to need for school. When I was done, I looked around the room and saw that I had left the book that Todd had given me for my birthday. I contemplated leaving it, but then realized, it was, really, the only thing I had left of him and once I left this house, my mother would never let me back in to get it. I picked it up off the bedside table and shoved it in my bag. On the way out, I picked up my book bag, sniffled, wiped my eyes, took one last look around and slammed the front door. Angrily, throwing everything in my car, I got in and sped away. The tears were coming so fast that I could barely see the road. I passed a parking lot to a grocery story and pulled in. With the car running, I put my head down over my folded hands on the steering wheel and cried. About an hour later, I picked my head back up, wiped my eyes and contemplated where to go. I knew I couldn't go to Todd. I didn't trust him anymore and he was the last person I wanted to see. I still didn't know how Kelly would've felt about me, so I didn't take the chance to go to her. With Kelly and Todd ruled out, there was no one else I could turn to. I rode over to the park and parked the car. On the playground, were a couple of women playing with a young girl. I knew one of them was her mom, but the other, I guessed was a good friend. After the fun, the little girl walked up and the mother picked her up. I saw the little girl nod her head and the other lady put her hand across the mother's back and they walked away. I couldn't take my eyes off them. Here was a lesbian couple with a child, whom they loved and would probably do anything for and my mother just threw my out like a piece of garbage. I put my head back and stated crying, again, at the thought of how expendable I really was in my parent's eyes. I cried myself to sleep, because a while later, I heard a knock on my window. When I realized where the noise was coming from, I lowered my window and saw a police officer bending over. "Evening, son." "Evening, officer. Can I help you?" "Well, I noticed you were sleeping and I hate to tell you, but this is a no parking zone now. You'll need to move along." "Yes, sir," I said and started my car. I still didn't know where to go. I looked at the clock and it said it was past nine. My gas tank was full, so I pulled off, blindly and started driving. About an hour later, I found myself on the interstate, heading north. If I just ran away, nobody would really look for me. Todd, obviously, didn't care anymore and my parents wouldn't come after me. As I was just about to come to the conclusion to keep going, I remembered Kelly. She was sure to miss me at school. She would probably be the only one who cared. At that moment, I looked over on the southbound lane and saw a rest area. At the next exit, I turned and headed back. Pulling into the rest area, I saw there were lots of cars parked. I slowly passed and saw that many had their driver's side seat back. They were sleeping. I figured this was as good a place as any, so I pulled into the darkest spot I could find and cut off the motor. I reached over and grabbed my cell phone and set the alarm to wake me then laid my seat back, grabbed a pillow and tried to sleep. An awful noise woke me the following morning. I sat up and looked around and realized it was my cell. I opened the phone and silenced the alarm. Throwing it back in the passenger seat, I put the seat back up and cranked the car. On my way back around to the exit, I passed the bathrooms and decided to stop and empty my bladder first. Once that was done, I headed towards school. After I arrived, I grabbed my clothes and things and threw them in the trunk. I didn't want anyone to notice anything different. I actually expected my father to be there when I arrived, telling me that my mother didn't mean what she said, but he never did. He wanted my problem brother living with him instead of his perfect son. I guess being gay in their eyes was a flaw they couldn't overlook. Whenever I saw Todd, I ignored him. I didn't want to see him nor did I want him to find out that anything was any different. Kelly was the only one that I was gonna have to convince that everything was fine. She figured out that something was wrong but I played it off as stress. She seemed to buy it and dropped the subject. Thank God this was the year that I chose to take physical education. The only reason I say that is because we get showers after our work out. It if wasn't for that, I was gonna start to smell. Now the weekends were gonna be a different story. I fell into a routine of making it to school everyday, like normal and after I was done at GSU, I would drop Kelly off back at the school to get her car, or vice versa, then I would stop by the local gas station on the corner of Piedmont and Monroe, get a soda and a snack then head to the park to study. I found a table near the playground and would lay my books out and start with math since it was still fresh in my head. Once my homework was finished, I would just hang around and wait until around eight or so before heading up to the rest area. That was my temporary `home', since the cops didn't seam to bother anyone there. I had heard about a truck stop on the east side of town that had showers and served food. Since I had been on my own, I had to limit myself to cheap hamburgers from the local fast food places. I decided to investigate and found that this truck stop did, indeed, have showers. They cost five dollars and I learned that they had a point program that went with it. I signed up for one of their cards and every time I had to fuel, I tried to do it there to grab as many points as I could. In doing that, I could use my points to eat at the buffet, which served vegetables, for free and then get a shower afterwards to be ready for school Monday morning. Even though I was still upset with my family, I learned how to get along. As long as my car held up, I was fine. About two weeks into my routine, there was a man who showed up everyday while I was doing my homework. At first, he would just walk around watching people, then I noticed that I was his main focus. I did my best to ignore him and when I did spot him, more often than not, he was slyly rubbing his crotch. I never gave him any indication that I was interested, but that never stopped him from trying to convince me. A week later, he finally got the balls to come over and talk. He asked if he could sit and I motioned that he could if he would like, but never stopped looking at my books. He sat and just watched me. He was a clean enough guy, I guess. Late forties, dressed in a jogging suit, with brown hair and a clean shaven face. "So, how are ya?" he asked. "Kinda busy," I answered, keeping my concentration on my homework. "I've seen you here a lot lately." "Yup." "Why are you always doing your homework here?" he asked. "Because I like it," I lied. "Oh, I thought maybe you were doing this as a cover." My pencil stopped moving and I looked up at him. "A cover for what?" "Oh, I thought you were looking to play around and this was your cover for being here." "Play around?" I asked in that innocent tone. I knew what he was saying. "You know, have a little fun. Find a guy and go somewhere." "You mean sex?" Again, playing stupid. "Well, yeah." Putting my pencil down, I asked, "So, you mean, you wanna suck my dick? Or you want me to suck yours?" "That would be nice," he said, looking around. "Well, contrary to what you might think, I'm not here doing this as a cover. I don't have a home to go to. My parents kicked me out because I like to suck dick. So, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, concern in his voice. "Yeah, well, shit happens." Sitting silently for a few moments, he man said, "Well, I have a second room in my apartment that I'm not using. You're more than welcome to use it. You won't even have to pay rent." Looking at him again, I said, "In exchange for what? Sex? No, thank you." "There wouldn't be any sex involved . . ., unless that's what you wanted." "Listen, thanks for the gesture, but I'll pass. I don't know you and you don't know me. For all you know, I'm just a high school kid, but in reality, I could be a murderer." "I can't see you killing anyone," he said with a smile on his face. `There's always a first for everything,' I thought. "Okay, then, you could be a murderer. And I like my life, tough as it is right now." I went back to my homework and there was silence between us. Ten minutes later, he broke the silence, telling me his name. "I'm Paxton. Pax for short." I reached over and grabbed his hand, and said, "Blake." "Nice to meet you, Blake. Well, I'm sorry for the way I approached you. Hope you can forgive me." "It wasn't a problem at all. I'm flattered." "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." "Maybe. I'll be here for sure." "Bye," he said, and got up and left. I finished up my homework, swung by a fast food joint and headed to my new `home'. Over the next few days, Pax continued to show up and he stayed quiet until I was done with my homework. Afterwards, we would talk and I got to know more about him. My original assessment of his was wrong in his age. He was actually 38, but looked older, received a major inheritance from his grandmother when she passed and was just living life instead of working it away. "She must have left you a bunch of money for you not to have to work." "Let's put is this way. I won't ever have to work again for as long as I live." "Wow," I exclaimed in disbelief." On Friday, he waited until my homework was done and then we talked. I found out he used to be an insurance salesman. He hated the job, but the money was right. Once his grandmother's will was read, he headed straight over to his work and turned in his resignation. I started to put more trust into him and finally broke down and told him everything. Including Todd. About my feelings, my family and the pain I felt having to live on the streets because everyone who had once loved me, had given up on me. A tear fell down my cheek and I wiped it away. I could see the concern in his eyes, but before he could say anything, I stood up to leave. When I did, I knocked my uncapped soda over and it spilled all over my lap. "Fuck!!!" I exclaimed. "Take it easy, it's only soda." "But these were my last clean pair of jeans." I calmed down a little and said, "Well, I guess I need to do laundry soon. Hadn't done it in three weeks." "Three weeks?" he asked. "How many clothes do you own?" "Not that many. I've had to wear most everything at least twice." "I hope that doesn't include your underwear." I didn't say anything. I just gave a small smile. "Blake. That's horrible. Why don't you come to my place? You can do your wash there." Still a little apprehensive, I politely declined, saying I would find a laundromat soon. "You'll do no such thing. Tomorrow afternoon, why don't you come over and wash them. At least you won't have to pay for it." Noticing my nervous look, he said, "I'm not offering for any other purpose than to help out a friend. I don't expect anything in return." Wanting to make things clear, I asked, "No sex?" "No, sex. Scouts honor," he said, holding up two fingers. Giving in, I said, "Fine. Thanks for the offer. You'll be home all day?" "I have a few things in the morning. Can you be here around one? I'll have lunch for us, too." "That would be nice. I'll be here around one, then." "Actually," turning, he pointed and said, "See that light brown building, forth from the end?" Looking to where he was pointing, I told him I did. "That's where I live. Just come on over. There're only two apartments there. I'm on the left, just come on in. No need to even knock." "I'll be there. Thanks, again," and I turned to leave. The following day, I slept in and woke around ten. I didn't leave until after twelve thirty. I figured I would get there just a little before one as it was, so I didn't rush. When I finally arrived, I grabbed my bag out of the trunk and slugged it over my shoulder and walked up to the apartment. Even thought he told me to come in, I knocked anyway. There wasn't an answer, so I tried the knob. It was unlocked so I turned it and opened the door. "Hello? Pax, you here?" Still no answer. I looked over at the TV and saw a picture of Pax with, I would guess, was his family, so I knew I was in the right place. I came on in and dropped my bag by the door and started to walk around to find him. I looked in the kitchen, the dining room and den. I started up the staircase and was about to call his name when he came to the doorway of the room ahead of me, completely naked with a towel working over his hair. His face was covered so he couldn't see me, and I knew I should have made a noise to let him know I was there, but I couldn't take my eyes off his body. I froze on the step, not wanting to make any noise and looked him up and down. He had a light patch of hair in the middle of his chest, between two lightly formed pecs. It continued down onto his smooth stomach, where it spread to go around his navel and met again on the bottom. Finally, it connected with the neatly trimmed pubic hair that surrounded his beautiful penis. It was skinnier than Todd's but seemed just as long. His scrotum hung lower also. I kept scanning down his legs. The muscles were very taut and I could see the definition in his calves. A light dusting of hair on each. Scanning his face again, it was still covered and I went back to his genitals. I hadn't noticed the first time, but he was semi erect. I figured the hot water had done that. It happens to me, sometimes. As I was staring, he finally realized I was there and jumped. "Jesus!!!!!!" he exclaimed. "Sorry, sorry. I called your name and knocked on the door." Falling to put his hands on his knees, he said, "I didn't hear you. I was in the shower." Slowing his breathing back to normal, he looked at me and asked, "How long you been standing there?" A little embarrassed, I answered, "Since you came around the corner. I was gonna say something but I ended up staring. I'm sorry." Standing back up, he threw the towel behind him on the bed and said, "Don't be sorry. I'm the one that told you to come on in." He turned and picked up some shorts from the bed and put them on. Looking back at me, he said, "Good thing I wasn't hard with you staring at me. That would have been embarrassing." "Why would you have been hard?" "I was just about to get in a session before you came over. I'm always fucking horny. I gotta beat it at least once a day or it won't be satisfied." "Well, if you were hard, I would have turned and tried to get back down the stairs as quietly as possible and act like I just came in." "Well, now that that's over with, how `bout we get you some clean clothes?" "Great," I said, letting him pass me down the stairs. I got my bag and followed him into the little room behind the kitchen. Once there, I opened it and he took a small step back. "I know, it reeks. Thanks for letting me wash." Standing in the little room, I realized how hot it was. Even though it was February, we were having a freaky heat wave and either his air condition wasn't working or didn't have it on. "Wow, it's hot." "I know. AC's on the fritz. The guy was supposed to come yesterday to fix it, but he never showed. Now I gotta wait until Monday. It's supposed to get to the mid nineties today and tomorrow." I dug into my bag and grabbed my jeans to wash them first. When I was done, I reached for the washing powder and sprinkled it in as well. I was just about to start the washer when he asked if I wanted to wash the pants I was wearing. "Well, I don't have on any underwear. They were all getting stiff." "No, problem. I have some shorts you can wear. . . if you want." That last part was like an afterthought. I really needed all my clothes washed, so I figured I might as well. As I was unbuttoning my jeans, I asked, "Would you mind if I got a shower, too? I hadn't had one since after PE yesterday and with this heat, I feel icky." "Sure," he said. I stripped off my shirt and lowered my jeans and added them to the wash. I think I heard a small gasp from Pax, but I played it off. After starting the washer, I turned towards him and waited. Jumping out of his gaze, he said, "Shower, right. Follow me," and headed back up the stairs. In the hall closet, he grabbed me a towel and showed me where the shower was. The luke warm water felt wonderful on that hot day. I took a little longer than needed, but it was worth it. After my shower, I dried off and came out into the bedroom. I thought he had left some shorts out for me. Hanging the towel to dry, I went to the top of the stairs. "Pax?" "Yeah?" he called from around the corner. "You said you had some shorts for me to wear. I don't see any." "Shit. I forgot." Coming around the corner, he climbed the stairs and I gave a fake stretch, just so he could look if he wanted, since I stared at him earlier. When he passed me, I followed him in the room. He went over and opened some drawers and shuffled around. He closed the top drawer and went to the second. Still nothing. Finally, he reached the third drawer and shuffled some more. He finally came up with a very old pair of boxers that had holes everywhere. "This is the only thing I have left. Everything else must be in the dirty clothes. I thought I had another pair clean, like mine, but I must've worn them already." "Hey, this'll do," I said, reaching for the shorts. When he stood, I could see the tent he was making in his own. Noticing that I noticed, he looked down and said, "I told you, it constantly wants attention. Sorry about that," he said, trying to push it down. "Don't be sorry. It happens. I can leave you alone if you want to beat off." Slipping the shorts on, he said, "That's okay. I can wait." When I put them on, there were holes all over the side and butt of the shorts. The fly up front was torn and it hung open, showing the top half of my shaft and my pubic bush and there was a hole right at the tip of my penis. "Well, I guess if I gotta pee, I won't have to pull `em down." I demonstrated pulling my dick through to hole to make my point. Laughing nervously, he said, "Looks like it." I saw the tent in his shorts grow even bigger. We sat at the table and ate lunch while my pants finished washing. He had stopped and picked up a roasted chicken from the grocery store and heated up some corn and green beans. We had a great conversation through lunch and right as we were done with the dishes, the washer went off. I put my jeans in the dryer and my whites in the washer. I turned everything on and came back around the corner. Looking at his shorts, the tent was still present. "Pax, you really need to do something about your hard on. You keep that up and you'll get blue balls." "I'm fine. It's hard to control when you have a scantly clad, beautiful bodied teenager in the house." I'm know I blushed. "Well, if you keep it up, I'm gonna get horny. Go take care of it, I don't mind," I pleaded. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about it. C'mon, let's go in the living room." I followed him in and took a seat on the couch. He sat in a chair opposite me and when he did, his shorts rode up a little and his hard dick popped out the leg hole. Either he didn't seem to notice or he was trying to seduce me. I didn't know which it was, but I ignored it. Or at least, I tried to. As we were talking, he would look around the room and when he did, I would glance at his crotch. His dick never went down. It was at it's hardest at one point because I could see it bobbing with his heart beat. I noticed I was starting to get excited and tried to shift to hide it. I kept my hands covering it but when things would get uncomfortable, I had to shift again, and I was sure he could see something happening. A few, tense moments later, the dryer buzzed and I stood up too fast, forgetting my hard on and it stuck out in front of me through the hole. I quickly turned and I was sure Pax saw it. Practically running to the dryer, I reached in and felt the fabric. "Thank God, they're dry," I said to myself, pulling the boxers off and slipping on a hot pair of pants. I stuffed myself in and zipped up the molten hot metal. "Ahhhh," I yelped, feeling the metal against my skin. I unzipped it for a few more minutes to allow it to cool. Touching it with my fingers, it had cooled enough for me to zip back up. After moving the jeans, I reached over and got the whites and tossed them in, then loaded the colors in the washer. With everything set, I took the jeans back to the living room and dropped them on the coffee table. Pax wasn't anywhere to be seen. I didn't think about it and started folding them. A few minutes later, Pax cam down the stairs, minus the tent. "I wondered where you went to." "I took care of the problem. It was getting on my nerves. I'm sorry to do it while you're here, though. It just seems inappropriate." "No worries, here. Feel better?" "Loads," he said, as he started to walk, and then stopped. "No pun intended, of course." "Of course," I said, smiling big. The rest of the afternoon went by pretty smoothly. After the sexual tension had worn away, I started to get comfortable. By the time my whites dried, I had `cooled' off enough were I was able to take my pants off and put some underwear on then return my pants. By the time my colors were done, Pax asked me to stay for dinner. He was planning on ordering Chinese and explained they always sent too much food. Getting more and more comfortable, I took him up on his offer. He asked what I wanted and ordered. While we waited, we started watching some action movie. It was pretty good. We had to pause the movie when the food arrived, but once served, we finished it and the food. I thanked him for a great day and for use of the laundry facilities. He told me it was his pleasure. As I was about to walk out the door, he said, "You know, I still have that second room if you want it." Looking back, I said, "Thank you, but I really gotta try and get through this on my own." "Well, then, how about a standing date. You come over every Saturday for the day and you can wash your clothes, take a shower and we can have dinner and watch a movie." "Now that, I will agree to. Thanks," I said and walked out the door. "Be safe," he called after me. I loaded my clean clothes in the car and headed `home'. Over the course of the next week, Todd kept coming into my line of sight. As soon as I noticed him, I turned my eyes away and kept walking. Through my peripheral vision, I could see him staring at me. I was at my locker on Tuesday, doing my normal switching of books when he came up behind me. "Hey," he said and put his fingers in his front pockets. "Hello," I said, just as stern as possible. "I don't have practice this afternoon. You wanna come over and we can talk?" "Can't. Gotta late class at GSU," and turned and walked away. On Wednesday, he saw me a few times but I didn't pay much attention. He didn't try to talk to me again until Thursday. I was walking down the hall and he got in front of me, blocking my path. I moved to the left and he blocked me. I tried the right, he did the same thing. "Excuse me. I need to get by." "C'mon, Blake, talk to me." "I have nothing to say to you." "Why? Why won't you talk to me?" "What's the point?" "For one, it's like my best friend abandoned me." I was taken aback. "Me abandoned you? You seem to have that backwards. I'm not the one with the girlfriend. And since when were we ever best friends?" "I told you about Paige. She's a cover. . ." "I bet she'd love to know that," I said, cutting him off. "We've always been best friends since we've met." "Really? I remember you threatening me in the beginning." "C'mon, now, you're being silly." "Me being silly? Okay, let me ask you something." Leaning in, I lowered my voice to a whisper and asked, "How is it being silly to tell the boy you're in love with that you actually love him, and him not even acknowledge you. I know for a fact, you fucking heard me at the campground. You acted like it was nothing. You fucking broke my heart, you bastard." Using my normal voice, maybe just a little too loudly, I said, "Excuse me, I'm late for class." With all eyes turned towards us, he stepped aside and let me pass. The rest of the day and night went as normal. Friday, however, wasn't anything near normal. I was going along my normal routine and when the bell rang to excuse classes, I was the only one not ready. While everyone started filing out of the room, I had to pack my bag. I looked up and even the teacher had left. I was the only one still in the room and started towards the door when Todd stepped in and closed it behind him. "Fuck, would you stop? I've got bigger things on my plate to deal with than you right now," I said stepping towards the door. "Blake, hear my out, please?" "Why? I don't trust you anymore. After the lie you told me. Why would I even want to listen to you?" "Please, Blake, I need to tell you something." "Todd, get out of my way. I don't want to do this. I need to move on with my life." "No, that's what I want to talk to you about." Before he could say anything else, I slipped past him and out the door. The hallway was full of kids and no one paid me any mind. I was about ten feet from the door when I hear Todd curse, loudly. I kept walking and only faltered for a split second at his next statement. Over the heads of the students, he yelled, "I love you." I closed my eyes and I could feel the students trying to back against each wall to see who he was talking to. Seeing how I was a guy and he, the most popular boy in school, they never had any idea on how to connect those dots. "Fuck," I heard one last time then he disappeared. Over the weekend, I went back to Pax's place and did my laundry. The new month had come and so did the normal weather with it. Basically, it turned back cold. While I did my laundry, I made sure I had clean clothes to wear to and from the shower. I didn't want a repeat of my last visit to cloud my judgment, especially since Todd said what he did. I told Pax about it and he was stunned. "What did you do?" "Nothing I could do. The hall was full of students. Was I supposed to go back to him and fall in his arms?" "That didn't answer my question. What did you do?" he asked, excitedly sitting on the edge of his seat waiting for my answer. "I kept walking. I got in my car and cried. He wants to tell me he loves me now? He could have saved us both heartache if he had only said it at the camp. And I might still have a place to live. My grades are finally getting better, and then he has to pull this shit." "Isn't it better late than never?" "In his case, late is just way too late. I can't give back into him. That'll be like every other time he's shot me down and I've forgiven him. This time, I won't back down. I don't care if he does love me." Seeing my face turn read, Pax said, "You're angry." "Are you fucking crazy? Of course, I'm angry." "No, I mean, you're angry because you still love him." "What? No. I don't love him anymore. He broke my heart and he lied to me. Why would I still love him?" "Blake, its okay to still love him. You were with him over a year. You shared the most intimate moments of your life with him. You made love to him. It's okay." Listening to his words, memories flooded back in detail and tears started forming. "I don't want to still love him." Pulling me into his side, Pax held me. "If he loved me, why would he want to hurt me?" Grabbing my hand with his free one, he said, "Baby, he probably didn't know he was hurting you. In his mind, his appearance at school over took his senses. He got scared." "But why would he lie to me? About us getting together," I asked through breathless sobs. "I don't know. All I know is that love hurts. Sometimes people do things to other people and they don't know why. They don't realize the love that someone has for them is that strong. And even with the smallest rejection, they break your heart." I put my head on his chest and cried. I never knew this side of love and I didn't like it. When my mom threw me out, I figured it was to get used to the idea of me being gay, but when they never came to look for me, I got over it. It seemed like it would've been a harder bond to break, but for some reason, Todd was harder to get over than loosing my family. Pax cooked dinner for us and we watched a movie. I wasn't in the mood but stayed until it was over. I really didn't want to go back to the rest area. I wanted to be somewhere, at least for tonight. When the movie was over, I helped him clean the dishes and grabbed my bag. "If you want to stay the night, you can," he said, turning towards me, leaning back against the sink and drying his hands with the dish towel. "Thanks. I will," I said and headed up the stairs to the spare bedroom. A few minutes later, Pax came in with a blanket. "This room was always a little cooler." "Pax?" I said. "Yeah?" I changed my mind as to what I was gonna say at the last minute. "Thanks," I said and reached for the blanket. He handed it over and slowly pulled the door to a crack. When he was gone, I thought back to what Todd said and started crying. The floodgates opened and the tears started flowing. A few minutes later, I saw light spill across the room, then the bed sink under Pax's weight. He curled up next to me and held me until I fell asleep. The next morning I came down stairs to the wonderful smell of bacon and eggs. He welcomed me to the table and got up to fix me a plate. "Do you have any coffee?" "Sure do, hon. Hold on." He turned and got a cup out of the cupboard and poured. "Milk?" "And sugar, please?" A minute later, it was in front of me. We talked about nothing, really. He told me the weather forecast for Sunday and Monday. It was supposed to rain late on Sunday and all day Monday. "Great," I said, glumly, "I hate going to school when it rains. Those are days I just don't want to do anything." "Well, I guess, technically, you don't have to if you don't want to." "No, I still need to go to school. My grades are finally back on track; I don't want to screw it up because of rain." Getting up from the table, Pax went over to the counter and grabbed something. Coming back, he put it down in front of me. Looking at it, I asked, "What's this?" "It's the key to the front door. I'm not gonna ask you to come and live here anymore, but I want you to have a key in case you need a place to come to." Tears started to form with the kindness he was showing. "There will be no crying. Just take the key and hold onto it." Standing, I grabbed the key and put it in my pocket and walked over and gave him a hug. "Thank you," I said. A few moments later, he patted my back a few times and pulled away to walk to the fridge. I saw him wipe his eyes and asked if I wanted some juice. Sitting back down, I told him I was fine and he came back to the table. "What happens if you have `company' over?" I asked with air quotations. "Boy, I'll kick that trick out of here so fast just to spend time with you. Don't you worry about that." "Pax?" "Hmm?" "You're probably the best friend I have right now, you know that?" "That's what friends are for, honey. To stick by someone they care about." He put his hand on top of mine, then stood and told me he was going to change. I stayed with Pax for a few hours until it started drizzling outside and then I left. I told him I would rather go ahead and get situated in the car before it started pouring. He tried to get me to stay the night and I graciously thanked him but politely declined. He asked why I was always refusing to stay over or come and live with him and I explained that just because my parents threw me out, doesn't mean I can't do it on my own. If nothing else than to prove it to myself that I can. I decided to skip the truck stop since I ate at Pax's and he offered me a shower before leaving. Once I was back `home', I pulled out the book I received from Todd for my birthday. I flipped the pages and saw the amazing colors jump off the paper at me. The high quality pictures of everything this Earth has to offer. Before I knew it, the sound of the rain on the roof of the car and the lazy evening put me to sleep earlier than usual. I awoke with a start, freaked out about having not set the alarm. Rummaging around for my cell, I opened it and it read quarter after five. I instantly settled back down and relaxed. The rain was still dropping just as hard as the night before. I cranked the car to get the chill out of the air and woke myself up. I reached over and grabbed the half empty soda I had from the day before and drank it down. I looked around for anything to cover myself from the rain, just to get out to go to the bathroom, but couldn't find anything. Why is it I always forget something as simple as an umbrella? I made a point to purchase one later on in the day. Pulling around front, I popped out to use the bathroom then headed back towards town. Soaked from my little sprint to and from the bathroom, I turned up the heat and got on the highway. Going along my day as usual, I felt pretty good about myself. It had been along time since that had happened. Since now I knew I had Pax to turn to if I needed him, I felt a little of the weight pressing down on me give way. I finished up lunch a little early and told Kelly that I needed to finish up a few things. She told me she would see me in the next class and I left the cafeteria. Walking down the hall to my locker, I pulled the books I was going to need for the rest of the day and turned back towards the Senior porch until the bell rang. Opening the door to the outside, the rain was still falling. I turned the corner to the bench located at the far end and I saw Todd. My steps faltered and I stopped, for a second, and then continued towards the bench. I saw him watch me as I passed. There were about a dozen or so kids on the porch so I figured that Todd would stay to himself and not talk to me. He was sitting with Paige, after all. After I got out my homework for the next class to look it over one last time, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. `Please don't come over here,' I thought. A moment later, Todd's voice rang true to say hello. Exasperated, I looked up and said, "What do you want?" "I want to talk to you. You won't take my calls, you ignore me in school. I just wanna talk." "Todd, now's not a good time." "No time is a good time for you. I have to take every chance I can find just to say hey." "Well, you think that maybe I don't want to talk to you?" "But, why?" he asked, bending his knees in that frustrated voice with his hand out, palms up. "You fucking know why. I shouldn't have to tell you why." "I'm sorry. I've told you a million times I'm sorry. Didn't you hear me in the hall?" "I heard you but it doesn't mean shit. Just empty words, in my opinion." "But it's true. I do l..." "Don't you fucking say it." Standing with my anger rising fast, along with my voice, I looked at him and said, "You lost that fucking right. You had your chance, and now, it doesn't mean anything." At that moment, Page walked over and hooked her hand on Todd's arm, looked at me and asked, "What's you're problem, fag boy?" Before I could respond, the anger rose on Todd, tremendously. "Don't call him a fag," he said through his locked jaw. I was bewildered. I looked at Paige and she had a face as if someone had slapped her. Hard. Looking at Todd, I said, "Listen, I gotta go. Have a nice life." Looking at Page, I said, "Good luck. . ., bitch," and packed my bag and walked away. I heard her gasp after I said that. Going back to the entrance to the school, all eyes were on me. Before I opened the door, I heard Todd tell Paige that they needed to talk. I only had two more periods before I had to leave for GSU with Kelly. Those two hours couldn't come fast enough. When it finally did, we decided to make a run for Kelly's car. Mine was a mess with dirty clothes, trash from fast food places and just untidy. Plus, she had the electric remote to unlock her doors. Since it was raining, it would be faster to get into her car than mine. The drive was uneventful, as well as the class. It was starting to become easier by the day and once the teacher explained it, it was pretty much in my head to help me get through the homework. Since it hadn't rained in a few months, the rain soaked into the concrete and brought all the leaked oil to the surface and, on the way back to school, there were a few minor accidents that held us up. When we finally arrived, she pulled up right next to my car and I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek as I said goodbye. I jumped out of her car and practically dove into mine once the door was opened. Since it was raining, I wondered where I could do my homework. The park was out of the question and then I remembered Pax's offer. Anytime I needed a place to go, his home was open. I started the car and headed over to his place. I found a parking spot right in front of the house and ran up to the door. I knocked and got no response. I used the key and opened the door and called for Pax. He wasn't there. I went into the kitchen and did my homework. Afterwards, I went to the laundry to see if I had left anything and sure enough, there was a shirt hanging over the washer. Since my current shirt was still wet, I changed, got a soda out of the fridge, left a note for Pax and headed back to the car. I ran down the walkway with my old shirt over my head for protection and drove to Micky D's for dinner. After receiving my order though the drive through, I headed `home'. After a couple hours of looking over my work, I picked up the Earth book and turned to where I left off the night before. With the rain still falling and now it thundering and lightning overhead, I should be asleep in no time. Looking through the book, the sky was lighting up like the Forth of July. The slow, deep rumble of thunder followed and I remember smiling. It had been a long time since Atlanta had a major thunder storm. I loved to sleep while it was happening. It was peaceful and relaxing. I put the book away as the sky lit up for a few seconds. Not even three seconds after the darkness returned, a loud boom rang out. It scared me so, that I just about jumped out of the car. When the next round of lightning hit, I saw a figure outside my car window. That scared me even more. I watched the figure of the person and saw them come to my window and knock with their knuckle. I had no idea who was outside. The place was dark and I didn't want to open the window, but it might be a cop, so I took the chance. After opening it a crack, that same familiar voice asked if we could talk. "Todd, why won't you leave me alone? Go home." "No. I'm not leaving until we talk, damnit." Finally aggravated beyond belief, I threw opened the car door, got out and slammed it back. "Fine, you wanna talk. Fucking talk." "Blake, I love you." "Don't you fucking say that. You have no right to say that. I gave you your chance, twice. I gave you my heart and told you about it and you said nothing. You treated me like a piece of trash," I yelled. "I gave you every opportunity in the world to say that when it meant something." Standing in the rain, flashes of light and thunder overhead, he continued. "I know, I'm sorry. I got scared. I was scared of my feelings, of how people would react. I was scared of my parents." "You were fucking scared of your parents? Ha," I said with mock laughter. "At least they didn't throw you out of the house," I retorted. "What?" he asked, dumbfounded. "I told you if ever my parents found out, they would throw me out. They did. That's why I'm in the God forsaken place. This is my new home," I said, hands outstretched, twisting my torso, indicating the rest area. I heard the concern in his voice, but ignored it. "How'd they find out?" "Because of you, that's how." "Me?" he asked. "Yeah, you. You broke my heart. You made me feel pain I've never felt before. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My grades started to fall and I got a C on my report card. My mom interrogated me so hard that I told her. She gave me some money and told me to leave. It was all because of you," I screamed, tears starting to fall down my cheek. "You fucking made me fall in love with you. I told you I loved you and you ignored me. Then you went and got a girlfriend because you were afraid. Then you fucking lied to me," I said, beating his chest sending my point home. "I'm homeless because of you." Again, I hit his chest. "You FUCK!!!" I screamed and cried even harder. Still beating his chest, I continued yelling with tears being hid by the rain. "It's all your fault. I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you. You fuck!!! You bastard!!!!" Todd finally threw his arms around me and started calling my name. The emotion I felt at that moment made my body go limp. My knees buckled and my tears started flowing without apprehension. Todd held me close, with my arms locked between us, as I let loose for the first time in a very long while. I could barely breathe because I was crying so hard. My mouth was hanging open and I felt the drool start to pour out. With my head on Todd's chest and my chin hooked on his elbow, I completely broke down. Not caring what happened anymore. A few minutes later, I got my composure back, a little, and pushed him away. Having the rain soak me to the bone, I looked at him through the water falling from my hair before my eyes and said, "Just go home. Go back to your safe little world. You have a house and a family. Because of you, I have nothing." "You can beat me all you want, but I'll never stop loving you." He stepped closer to me and tried to put his hand on my wet chin, but I pulled it from his grip. "Let me be your hero." I knew he was referring to the song that played the last time we made love. Looking up in his eyes, I softly said, "Too, late." Staring at him a moment longer, I turned and got back in my car. I crawled over the seats and got in the back. I threw everything to the floor and laid out across the small seat with a pillow under my head and cried. About forty five minutes later, I was just about to doze off when the car door opened. I looked up and saw Mrs. Blyth standing there under an umbrella. I sat up and she asked if she could come in. I moved the pillow and she took the vacated spot. Dropping the umbrella outside, she closed the door and looked at me. Tears started welling in my eyes and she reached over and pulled me into her. Once again, I let go and wrapped my arms around her and cried. "Shhh. Shhh. Everything's gonna be alright," she cooed. "Everything's gonna be fine." She smoothed my wet hair as she said it. I held her tighter, letting her words penetrate my ears. "How?" I asked through my sobs. "You're gonna come and live with us." About to protest, she cut me off. "There's not going to be a discussion. This is final." She lowered the window and made a gesture. A minute later, the front door opened and we headed back towards town. Once we arrived at their house, Mrs. Blyth held me as we climbed the stairs. Once in the spare bedroom, she lowered me onto the bed and removed my shirt. Going to the hall closet, she got a towel and came back and started drying me. I was so exhausted by the emotions I felt, I could barely move. When she was done, she lowered me on the bed and removed my shoes. When they were gone, she undid my jeans and took them off. After drying my legs, she threw the towel across my underwear and reached under and removed them. Finally, she reached under me and grabbed the sheets, pulled them down and threw them over me. Grabbing the towel from under the blanket, she said, "Get some sleep. We'll figure everything out tomorrow." She leaned down and kissed my temple and headed out the door. When she opened it, I saw Todd standing on the other side, red faced with tears in his eyes. To Be Continued. 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