Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2003 17:36:00 -0500 From: Karla Schulz Subject: Carrots and Celery Part two chapter five Dun-dun-dun-da-naaa, dun-dun-dun-nnaaaaaaa, dun-da-da-nan-da-da-na--na-na-nan! If you can't tell, that's the 'here comes the bride' music I was just trying to hum there. --- In the morning, or you know, the early afternoon, when we finally get up, we go looking for Kyle and Jonas. Not surprisingly, we find them talking in Kyle's little mini living room thing. Jonas sleeps over sometimes, and he always takes the couch. He's small enough for it to be comfortable. We share quiet hellos and almost happy smiles. "Everyone, what's passing for okay these days today?" Kyle asks, at it again. "Yeah, um, we have news actually," I say. Jonas's eyes narrow. Kyle obviously filled him in on the basic events of yesterday's carnage. "If it's bad news, I'm going to kill something," I laugh. "No, this is actually under the good column," Kyle actually sags in relief, and though less dramatically, so does Jonas. "Then do tell." "We've decided to get tattoos." "Tattoos?" Kyle's sort of dumbfounded. Understandable. I mean, that's a pretty out of left field thing to say on any day, never mind the one after this massive bad feelings pain blow out. Kyle may be having trouble getting this to make sense, but Jonas on the other hand, seems to be all for it. He's grinning, almost inspired looking. "That gives me the best idea! You guys want to get married, right? Have a ceremony? Well I say, let's combine the two! My uncle owns a tattoo parlour and he's totally cool. My parents don't really like him and we're not exactly supposed to like, see each other and everything, but since we moved here I've seen him quite a bit. We've gotten kinda close, he's an awesome guy. Only like 30 or something. Anyway, his tattoo place is like, great. You could have the ceremony there! The tattoos could be like your rings and stuff." We all just stare at him. Married in a tattoo parlour? Mom would freak. It's probably never been done. But when you think about it that way... of COURSE we should get married in a tattoo parlour! Where else fits? Where else makes sense? This is me and Celery! Doers of the new, strange, and just plain insane! To get married anywhere but Jonas's uncle's tattoo parlour would just be silly. I grin. Celery looks at me dubiously. "You want to do it?" I nod, still with the grinning. "It's perfect!" He raises his eyebrows skeptically. "It is?" I take his hands. "Come on, sweetness! Think about it. Of course it is - it's us!" He thinks about it. Then he laughs. "Jonas, you're a genius," Jonas beams. "That's what they tell me." "Mom's going to kill you," Kyle says, shaking his head. "Nah, she's Mom. She'll understand," and she will too. How many mothers can you honestly say that about? She's in class by herself, our mom. "Yeah, you're probably right. Okay, so I'm on board. On with the planning?" "Planning?" Simple, people! Simple! "Yes, planning. As in, making a plan." "What's to plan?" "You're serious," Kyle says, shaking his head. "Sure I am!" "How can we NOT plan?" I look over at Celery. He's clearly already planning in his head. Great. Jonas is no help either - he's gone, off, calling his uncle. "We aren't going to do it like now, Jonas," I shout, craning my neck to where he is over by the phone in Kyle's sort of kitchen thing he never really uses. "I know," Jonas replies, his hand over the mouthpiece. "I'm just going to run the idea by him," I don't bother listening in. I have other things to worry about. "Celery, I really need for this to be simple." He smiles. That's one down. Now Kyle. "As for you, let's just remember which one of us is the straight one here and act accordingly." He grins and rolls his eyes. Man, I'm good. "Lou is all for the idea." It just figures that his uncle's name is Lou. Like, it's way typical. "That's good to know, anyway. Um, what else to we need to like plan?" "Whatever there is, I think we need to continue this not here and somewhere that like, Mom is. I mean, if she'll kill us for real if she doesn't get to help plan your wedding - even if it is going to happen at a tattoo parlour." "I think Lou prefers tattoo emporium," Jonas adds helpfully. How classic is that? "I'm sure Mom will be thrilled. Should we move out?" "Sounds like the wanta stay alive thing to do," Celery says. That's enough to get us all moving. Okay, so, I'm not going to bore you with all the details, but suffices to say, it took awhile to win Mom over to the whole getting married in a tattoo emporium thing. But like, what do you expect? Craziness only gets you so far in life. She's still like, a mom. Which worked against us for awhile, but eventually the day was ours. First of all, we had to assure her that we'd worked stuff out, and break the news that I wouldn't be moving (following which Jonas became visibly relieved, and so did Mom, though she hid it better). We also had to promise stuff like a reception type thing at our house to follow and many elaborate baked goods prepared by her and Dad - but still, victory. Look at the task, and be impressed. Dad's even easier. He just snorts out a laugh and smirks at Mom. The twins will think it's an awesome idea, and I think we'll even be able to get Kara the 11-year-old old romantic behind the idea. The six of us hang out in the living room, big with the trying to plan. We're talking guests. I look around. "This is basically it," I look over at Celery for confirmation. "I mean, add the twins and Kara and that's about everyone I want to be there." "Maybe Brian and Alex too," Celery adds. I think about it, and then nod. "You're right, we should at least ask them." "What about your aunts and uncles? Cousins and grandparents?" SIMPLE is the word we're looking for here, people! SIMPLE! Celery takes over. "We really want to keep this small. It isn't going to be a wedding in the conventional walking down the aisle, having a guest book, cappuccino makers from distant relatives sense. We want all of you guys there, because you're our family. You're the people we love and trust the most, and we want to share our commitment and promise with you. But really, everyone already knows we're committed. This is going to be like, symbolic." "And let's not forget - tattoo parlour," Jonas making with the funny. "How could I forget?" Mom's all with us now though. The making fun is a sure sign of that. If there's anything lingering, Dad will take care of it tonight. They always, like, talk and stuff at night. I love that my parents still love each other. I don't even want to be all braggy about this, I'm just saying, I'm grateful. "It'll be great, Mom - really." She smiles. "I'm sure it will be. Your crazy definition of great - but great," you've gotten that she's like me by now, right? I mean, that's sunk in, hasn't it? "If we've settled the who, what about the when?" "Soon," Celery begins, and then sighs. "I mean, it HAS to be soon," he finishes a bit reluctantly. "Soon is good, we can do soon. Right, Jerry?" You remember. Jerry's my dad. "Sure we can. Especially if it's only family and maybe those two boys..." "Alex and Brian," I supply. "Right. Any time really." "Do we care about the date at all?" I ask Celery. He shrugs. "August 17th sounds nice," I smile. Who knows why, but it kinda does. "Okay, so when's that?" "This Saturday," When else could we get married but a Saturday? Think about it. I smile more. "Perfect." "And doable," Mom adds. "Okay, next item. Best men?" No brainer. "Jonas and Kyle," Celery and I both say automatically. They grin. "Unless one of you likes one of us better, let's sort of just share, eh?" I suggest to them. Jonas sighs. "Well, since we both sort of like Celery better, that seems like the kindest thing to do," okay, I'll take Kyle! "Yeah, sure, stick me with the bum groom," on second thought - where's Kara? "We'll take that as a yes to the sharing," this is all Dad, by the way. Being details and calm organized guy. "Yep," I say, Celery nods. "Clothes." "Tattoo parlour." "Enough said. Anything else we need to cover?" "It's a good start," Mom answers. "We can talk about food more later, and if you would like more people to be at the reception, that sort of thing. Until then, we have roughly four days to plan a wedding cake and make other top secret parental arrangements, let's get to work, Jerry," Dad's all for that, and they leave. I take a deep breath, and look around the room. I need a minute to recover. I mean, planning my wedding? Come on. Tattoo parlour or not. It's crazy. "That's right, baby, just breathe," Celery coaches, starting to rub my shoulders. Pretty soon I've turned to putty in his hands, and am totally calm. "Thanks." He tilts my head back, so in a sort of upside down way we're facing each other. I smile as he smiles tenderly at me. "Just doing my job." "We're still allowed to tease the hell out of you as your best men, right?" Jonas cheek master cheek inquires. I straighten up a bit again to roll my eyes at him. "Please, don't hold back on our account," he shrugs. "I wouldn't, just checking to see if there wasn't some way out of wearing the sea foam tuxes I can tell you guys are planning to make us wear," I laugh almost uncontrollably at that, mostly cause of the image it conjured up in my sick and twisted mind. Naturally, it was a frilly sea foam bridesmaid gown in my imagination, which when you think about it, is way more funny, and also a hell of a lot more disturbing. "Sea foam!" Celery says it the way you'd expect someone to say, 'eureka!', grinning at Jonas. "You really ARE a genius." "There'll be no sea foam," Kyle lays down the law, deciding it was time for him to step in. "How about peach? Magenta? That weird pastel pink colour that was popular in the 80's? Oh! I've got it! Leopard prints! Or Zebra - or maybe just the Miami vice look! I hear it's coming back!" Somewhere around Zebra, we all started laughing, and the whole stopping thing really isn't working out, so we're all just doing the can't breathe, sides are starting to ache, red faced thing. It's a lot of fun. I highly recommend it. That continues to be about the only kind of wedding planning I'm able to do. The totally unserious goofing around kind. Celery and Mom (who basically take over) put up with me, mostly 'cause I'm a relatively vital component to the whole final wedding scene, and we all manage to get through the arranging process without any kind of bloodbath. Again, look at the task, and be impressed. My constant pleas for simple, and the fact that we only had like 4 days, results in a day with very little hoopla planned. The night before, Celery starts to joke that we should spend the night apart (you know, like they always do in Soap Operas and shit), but the look on my face quickly puts an end to that. He holds up his hands in total surrender, grinning sheepishly. "Okay, so that wasn't really all that funny," I walk over to him across my room and hug his waist. "Sorry I've been such a bitch about all this." He smiles down at me, totally void of reproach. "It's okay. I know how lame you think weddings are - and I agree in theory. I just really wanted us to have something to remember, to hold onto, you know?" So that's why he did it! Oh man. I sigh. "I get it now. I sort of wondered why you were getting so freakishly involved, I didn't really understand until now. I thought maybe you were trying to distract yourself or something, but this makes more sense, knowing how your insane mind works. I officially surrender myself to the wedding day beat. It's going to be a great day because you put your heart into it, and 'cause mine finally is. I love you, sweet one, and I want you to know I really am very touched and grateful that you put so much heart into planning a day for us to share that," He kisses me. "Thanks, baby." "Sorry again for all the not taking it seriously, freaking out stuff," he smiles knowingly. "I knew you'd come around eventually, and I knew it'd be worth it when you did," I laugh. "You're a sly dog." He hoists me up, and carries me the 2 strides over to my bed. I'm not even that little, man, Celery's just freakishly strong. "I love you," he says, kissing my forehead and lying down beside me. I start kissing him, taking my kisses consecutively downwards, but he puts his arms around me, holding me in place over his chest, stopping me from moving further. "Bastard," I laugh, understanding what he's doing. "Consider yourself lucky I'm letting you sleep with me at all, the way you've been treating me lately," I give in totally, relaxing fully against him, and kiss his shoulder. "Tease," he starts rubbing my naked back, but, like, JUST my back. That's all I'm getting tonight. "I love you," he says again. I sigh. "Yeah yeah," I roll off a little, just using him for a pillow, and start breathing deep. "Care?" I finally smile. "I love you too, Cel," I can feel his smile. "Night, love." "May you have many nightmares, you teasing bastard," he laughs, which is what I wanted him to do. Not long after that, we're both fast asleep. --- I can't even describe to you the frantic rush that was most of the next day. To me, it didn't seem like there was all that much to, after all, we were just driving down to Jonas's uncle's tattoo place in the bakery van. But Mom and Celery kept pulling details and arrangements out of nowhere, and the whole day just sorta flew by in total mayhem and general chaos. Fucking weddings, man. Even if you are getting married in a tattoo parlour with only your closest family - they're majorly insane. By 4 o'clock, I'm feeling beyond ready to drop dead, or at least go hide in Kyle's apartment with him, the twins, and Jonas. That's when Celery pulls me into a hug and kisses my drooping eyes. "The hard part's over," he assures me. "Now all we have to do is get dressed and head over," I look at him with obvious panic in my eyes. Get dressed? "I thought we were just dressing, like, casually," he nods. "We are, but, NEW casual, your stuff is in your room, I'm going to go change in the twins'." I'm sort of dumbly obedient to everything he tells me to do by this point, so I just trail after him up stairs, and let myself get gently pushed into my room. Laid out for me - as promised - are my new wedding duds. I have to admit, they're pretty nice. Stuff I'd wear normally, but with the whole added bonus of being clean and unwrinkled. Simple stuff too. Beige cargo pants and a green short sleeved shirt. Not exactly a T-shirt, and certainly not T-shirt material, but still, wearable. Not quite boyband enough for me to be morally objected to. It's the kinda dusty green I've been told goes well with my eyes, and fits perfectly. It hugs me a little more than I'm used to, but I check myself out, and okay, I have to admit, I think I look pretty hot in it. The best part is the shoes. A brand new pair of Lakai's that go great with the shirt. Trust Celery to make sure we're wearing skate shoes on our wedding day. Half nervous for him to see me and excited for me to see him, I peek out of my room, and see Celery's head cautiously sticking out of the door of the twins' room down the hall. We grin at each other, and laugh. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," I sing. He rolls his eyes, but on a mental count of three, we both open the door. I'm too busy being stunned to notice his reaction to me. I have one sexy looking groom-to-be - that's all I can say. I can tell you what he's wearing, but that's not really going to help you get how amazing he looks. His pants are navy blue, just like work pants style, no oversized pockets or junk. His shirt's sky blue, and made from same clingy material as mine, but he's got a way better upper body to show off. His eyes are practically blinding they're so blue, and they match his shirt perfectly. His shoes are navy as well, ES's. On his head, of course, is his backwards orange cap. He wouldn't be Celery without it. But really, out of everything, what makes him the most beautiful (warning, incredibly sappy but sincere line ahead) is his smile. Dudes, I told you it was going to be sappy! But I also said sincere, and I meant that. It's all him, man. His smile, his eyes. Clothes got nothing to do with it. It's how beautiful he looks when he's as happy as he is that's really causing me to step back and go, WOW. "You look," we both start to say at the same time. Laughter inevitably follows. "Amazing," I finish. "Incredible," he does the same. We go back to grinning at each other. "Did you pick the stuff out?" I ask. He shakes his head. "No, your mom did. All I said was to get us skate shoes, these ones are awesome too. Like, I can't wait to go skating in them," I roll my eyes. "After the wedding, eh?" He blushes. I go over and hug him. "I love you," he grins. "Love you more," I'm not even going to start that today. "Yeah, but only 'cause I'm the best," he laughs, and then kisses me. "It's time to go, I think," I nod, not moving. I'm liking just chilling with him in the hallway, relaxing in his arms. "BOYS!" Guess it's not working so good for Mom. We grin guiltily at each other and break slightly apart, just enough so that we can walk safely down the stairs. When we get outside, everyone's there and they're all decked out. It's all still very much with the casual theme, but everyone's managing to look pretty spiffed. The twins are doing the unintentional matching thing, Kara's in this really simple summer dress I can easily see her running around in later, grass staining it up and other good stuff. Jonas and Kyle are also with the matching, navy jeans and red shirts (no sea foam?!) and then you've got Mom and Dad. Dad's got a pair of grey cords and a light blue-grey V-neck sweater, Mom's in a slightly crazy crunched cotton shirt and a loose matching top. Her hair's down, but that's really the only major difference. My mom's quite a crazy dresser normally. We all just sorta beam at each other there on the lawn for a long time, soaking up and love and all that, but then the pictures start and Mom gets thinking it's time to go nuts with the organising and rushing again, which sort of kills the peaceful mood. The whole way there Kyle cracks a lame joke every time he notices I'm starting to get nervous, and Celery squeezes my hand about every two seconds. We get there and Brian and Alex are loitering out front, awkward grins on their faces, wearing clothes I've seen before, but that look like they've been ironed. We park, get out, everyone says hi and stuff, then we go inside. Lou (that's Jonas's uncle for everyone who smoked their short-term memory away on too much of the blessed weed) closed the place for the day, so it's empty. There's no like aisle and shit, we just all head from the front lobby into the lounge area, which is like the recovery place after the actual tattooing gets done. We never had a rehearsal or anything, like - TATTOO PARLOUR - but there is sort of a plan. We all met Lou a couple days before (very cool guy, sort of like an older tattooed Jonas) and gave him a general idea of what we were going to do, and he's cool to wait to do our tattoos until after we've said our vows. We wrote our own by the way, and let me tell you, that's fucking stressful. I finally gave up the whole memorising thing and just have a general idea of what I want to say. "Everybody ready?" Lou asks coming out from the back, we nod. There's not going to be a ceremony or anything really, he's just going to show us the way our tattoo's are going to look, we'll say our vows, get the tattoos done, and that's like it. "So guys, what did you decide?" Uh, weren't we going to do that like, now? I look to Celery for help. He's blushing. "Well, see, I had this idea," one he obviously shared with Lou, who appears to be trying to hide a smirk. It's the exact same smirk I've seen on Jonas a thousand times. Must run in the family. "What idea is that?" "That we'd like, um," he looks down at his feet, painfully and adorably shy. "Like, sign each other's wrists, and then Lou could just go over them," Oh god. I have to stand there silently for a few seconds, focusing hard not to cry. "That's like..." I can't even finish. Celery smiles at Lou. "I think we'll go for that then," he nods. "No problem, I've got some setting up to do, you guys just do your thing, and I'll see you in a little bit." "Sure," I somehow manage to say. Celery nods. I look at him, and suddenly out of nowhere I get the intensest case of nervous jitters. Not about marrying him, just like, I don't know. It's all so CRAZY! I can't describe it, this is all just so insane. My heart's in my throat, I'm afraid I'm going to cry, and my stomach's doing the weirdest things. I'm trying to relax myself by thinking about the marriage scene in the Princess Bride (Maawage, that bwessed awangement, that dweem, wiphin a dweem) but it's not really working. And I mean, that's like, one of the funniest scenes in the entire movie. Celery leans over and kisses my ear. "Relax, baby.". Two words and I'm like butter. I smile. He smiles. Jonas coughs and Kyle tries not to laugh. Everyone else is just sort of waiting. "Do we like face each other or what?" I say, big time at a loss. Celery smiles, exuding everlasting patience. "Yeah, sure," we do. I keep thinking to myself as long as I'm looking at him, no matter what, I'll be okay. "Who's going to go first?" Kyle asks. Oh shit. I forgot about the actual vows. Celery smiles again. "Me," oh thank goodness. I exhale loudly, and there's more poorly contained laughter from our groomsmen and other members of the peanut gallery. Celery takes both my hands, and focusing back on him, I find I can breathe normally again. "Carrots, when I first met you, we were only six. You were scrawny and lippy and every other thing that came out of your mouth was either sarcastic or mocking but somehow I found myself feeling more comfortable around you than I had ever felt around any other human being. I can't really describe it but somehow I knew - in the way that you just KNOW stuff sometimes - that you were every bit as afraid as me. Of being alone, different. I don't mean gay or anything like that, just plain different. Separate. It was like I knew for both of us that we weren't going to grow up to be like everyone else. I never told you this, and I know you always thought things just sorta happened, but," he smiles shyly, "I did my best to make sure we became friends. We're talking everything in my power here. In a way, you could call it lucky that we turned out being so right for each other, but it was like I KNEW it was going to work out before I even started. I've said I knew it was love from the first day, and I did love you right from then, but it took me almost two years to name it. Now there's nothing I know more clearly than that I love you. How much I love you isn't something I can ever seem to find powerful enough words to express and the reasons that I do are far too numerous to list. I love who you are - everything that you are, but there is one thing that stands out most clearly in my mind. You were the first thing I ever loved - person, animal, and especially mineral. You taught me how. It took me so long to put a label on what I was feeling because I had no experience with it. If I hadn't met you I'm positive my heart would have just died. It would have shrivelled up and turned to dust. But I did meet you, and from the first minute to now, you've been teaching me how to love. I love you always, baby, unconditionally. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and making you happy," "Damnit, I knew your vows were going to be better than mine," I say in that shaky through the tears that are threatening to fall voice. He laughs the same way. I shake my head a little, trying to get rid of hair and the approaching tears, before looking back into his eyes again. "Um," way to start, genius. "Celery, I love you so much. I don't have the words for it, I can't even think sometimes with how much I love you. It's like everything else just gets blocked and blacked out and I'm not able to put together a single thought - all I can do is FEEL. I feel your love - and my love for you - every second of the day. You're a part of me in ways that probably aren't even healthy." He smiles. We've actually worked at it enough that that's a smile memory now. "But I know I'm happier than most people ever get to be whenever I'm with you. You've taught me so much - not just to love without condition or hesitation - but simply to live. I'm not fully alive when I'm not with you - I'm never doing what I most want to be doing unless you're with me, unless we're doing it together. You've given me more confidence and peace in myself than I can ever thank you for. I mean, you know me better than anyone else and you STILL love me! Sometimes I worry about how insane that makes you, but mostly I'm too busy being totally in love with you to care. There's nothing that could stop me from loving you - not time or distance, acts or deeds. I'm always going to be head over heels in love you, no matter what, forever." Celery beams at me, and the minutes start doing the stretching into eternity thing, when, as only he can, Jonas breaks the moment, chanting, "go for it, dudes," making everyone laugh. I stop laughing the second Celery's hand is on my face, and I start getting so lost in his eyes I think I'm going to swoon for real, when he kisses me. I'd have to say, as kisses go, it was a pretty fucking awesome one. Right up there with our very first. After our mini love fest breaks up, Jonas and Kyle start blowing bubbles at us, which I find to be totally random and strange until they inform me it's like some crazy new wedding tradition. Like a rice replacement or whatever. Who knew. Mom and Dad come over and hug us both, and then Lou comes back, checks to see if we're ready, and we follow him into the back to get the job done. All in all it's pretty quick and painless. The tattooing I mean. Signing was obviously first, done lovingly, with soft smiles and long looks. He gives us the speech about leaving them covered for 24 hours and keeping it clean and everything, and that's like it. Mine's on my right wrist and his is on his left, that way we can like hold hands with our tattooed arms. Slightly tender but otherwise blissfully happy, we thank Lou profusely and rejoin everyone back outside. "Congratulations, you guys!" Jonas says, coming over to hug us and then blowing more bubbles into our faces. "Fuck, man," I laugh, laughing with my eyes closed, afraid he's going to blind me. "What's a wedding without a little loss of vision?" Kyle wonders, hugging us too. "No one pronounced you man and wife yet!" Jon suddenly quips out of nowhere, causing big time laughter from everyone who isn't me (since, basically, I would be the wife), and I take a mock swing at him. He just grins. Kids. "Seriously, guys, you're like married! That's so cool!" Dave is such the cooler twin. "Thanks," I say, smiling in a weird proud, I-just-got-married kind of way. Celery gives my shoulder a squeeze. Yep. It's cool alright. There are times I can't even say how grateful I am for Kyle. Like now. 'Cause just when I'm starting to think it's all getting a little weird, us just standing here, me not knowing what to say, he goes, "Let's get this show on the road, eh? Wasn't I promised a party?" "That's right, let's rock." You really don't want to hear your mom say stuff like that. No matter how cool you think she is. We drive back in the van with Brian and Alex following us in Alex's car, and I'm feeling pretty calm until we get to our street and I see like a million cars parked all over the place. I think it's safe to say I've found the reason for the mysteriously large amount of planning that was going on all day. I glare at Celery, but he looks as surprised as me. Mom. I'm going to get her. Her wagon's getting fixed big time. "Just some family, and your other friends from school," Mom is quick to say in her own defence. "There are a lot of people who love you that want to share this day with you." Okay. So maybe that's true. Doesn't mean I'm not going to pout about it. I do my pouting silently as Dad parks the car, and then all the way up the front steps and into the house. Before I even get the chance to be incredibly rude to a bunch of my close friends and family, Celery's got his hands on my shoulders, marching me upstairs and into my room. "Five minutes of whining and then you have to deal, okay?" Being the no nonsensey hard-line guy. Then he softens, "Just for a couple hours, it won't be so bad," I smile rather feebly. "I know it's like the thing to do or whatever and I don't mind it really, only, I didn't want this now. Tomorrow or something maybe, but I wanted this part of today to be just for us. I haven't even had a chance to adequately express to you how much you killed me with those vows of yours. How I just like totally fell in love with you all over again and that I've been this close to bursting into tears every five seconds since you said them. I love you so much, sweet one, and it's like I get a little annoyed every now and then that I have to share you, especially after something like this." He's into ultra-beam, and hugs me in the it'd hurt if my insane love for him didn't dull the pain way. "I love you the same way, baby, but we'll have time for the greedy private stuff later." The cloud that had been miraculously absent this whole day suddenly returns with evil a vengeance and my face falls into self-pity city (the capital of misery island). "Right, like three days." "Oh baby, no," he pleads, holding me tighter. I have to take a second to be shocked that such a thing was possible, and then I let myself start to feel comforted. "Sorry for being such a downer," I say with a sniff. I tried not to do the sniff, but I like had to. Wish I hadn't though. It made him feel all bad again. "Comere," he says, drawing me over with him to the bed. We just sort of hold each other and regroup for a couple of minutes. "I'm okay now," I let him know once I am. He smiles. "Okay." He kisses my forehead. "Ready to party it up?" I do the ironic half smile thing. "Much with the getting of the party started." Because of that whole reeking of honour thing we've talked about before, I'm forced to admit it really isn't that bad. A lot of cool people showed up and I'm actually finding myself enjoying being in a room with them. Kaleb's presence makes me momentarily worried, but find no trace of the same in Celery, so I'm able to relax. Everyone just sort of parties together, and there's really very little awkwardness or anything like that. I mean, I never expected to be hugged by so many different people in such a short period of time, but really, I've got no complaints. We get a lot of gifts, which I find totally weird since it's not like we're like, moving out and starting a family or something, but the gifts are all basically of the 'getting through the time apart' variety, which is cool. It's all stuff that we can share which is also cool. Like we got cell phones, but I'll probably only use mine to play games if at all and probably not at all since I hate video games and suck hard at them, but Celery will be able to use his to call me which is like the most important thing ever. We also got matching shirts from Kyle and Jonas. Mine is green and his is orange and they have our names on them plus these funny veggie tales like pictures of a carrot and a celery on them. I plan to sleep in mine. Plus we got a lot of checks from people that we're going to put towards paying the cell phone bills we're going to rack up. The craziest present of all is from my parents. What they give us is, no other way to put it, our honeymoon. It's not going to Cuba or anything (don't ask!) but a night in the Fort Gary ain't bad. Anyway, we don't really have time for much more. So weird to be packing overnight bags after the reception is over and going on a honeymoon. A weird, short honeymoon, but a honeymoon none the less. And so, weird. Also weird was stuff like the cutting of the cake, and the toasts, and all that other like WEDDING stuff. I hate to say this, but in some ways, in most ways even, I don't really feel any different. I mean, I guess it's just 'cause like, I made my commitment to Celery long ago. Like, 11 years long ago. Or even when we first came out to each other, if you're not going to accept my taking his carrots in kindergarten as a firm enough symbol of my commitment. It's like what I felt when he asked me if he could keep me. Of course you can keep what's always been yours. I mean, it's not really too complex of an idea. But it was a thing he wanted, and I'm all about doing whatever I can for him. This was no big. It was even fun, and I love the tattoos. I like can't wait until we can take the bandage stuff off. We do the little driving off in the car with the 'Just Married' sign and cans trailing behind thing, all giddy and laughing for no reason. We sign into the hotel and clothes start getting thrown and pulled off before the bell dude has even completely shut the door behind him. That's pretty much the way it stays. All I'm going to say is it's a good thing the hotel walls are thick and leave it at that. Sometime late in the morning of what I guess is our first official day as like, married people, we actually start looking around the room, and it's totally swank city. Big, classy and comfortable. We lounge around, talking and making out like it's going out of style. Which with us you'd think it always was. Someone counting how many times we've been saying "I love you" would have a very long list right now. "So, what's the verdict?" "Huh?" Gotta love that thick, out of the blissful daze huh. "No after the fact cold feet?" I roll my eyes at him for about an hour. "Oh tons. I'm like so totally ditching you at the front desk," he kisses me, grinning. Kissing while grinning is a lot of fun. It takes skill, but it's fun. "I know you did it for me, baby, I know the whole wedding thing really isn't your scene. I feel the same as you - that the commitment we made to each other happened a long time ago, but for some reason I still needed this. He runs his thumb lovingly along my wrist. "It was like I needed something that I'll be able remember and think back on when I move. I wasn't sure how else I was going to be able to leave you," I try not to whimper. "Can we not talk about that right now?" His eyes fill with compassion and understanding, and he slips an arm around my waist. "Of course, baby. --- Edited by Ed