Date: Thu, 29 May 2003 19:21:06 -0500 From: Karla Schulz Subject: Carrots and Celery Part Two chapter THirteen So I was going to say 'yay, another chapter.' But I've been told having someone write yay with just a period ending the sentence is distressing. So I'll just say, 'hey, here's chapter, hope you enjoy it.' Because here it very much is, and I do. You know, hope that. --- You know, it's really quite funny. I thought I wasn't getting any sleep when they WEREN'T together. Now I've got happy, delirious, in love conversations that go late into the night and wake me up early to deal with. "Jeez, Kyle! Why didn't you wake me up a little earlier?" He grins. "Bro! You're missing all the fun!" I stare at him like the crazy person he so obviously is. "All the really, really, really, early Monday morning fun, you mean?" Kyle continues on undaunted. "Yeah! Come on, get up! Jonas is going to be here soon," Oh, well then. "It's 7:14," "So?!" "SO, Jonas isn't going to be here for at least another hour," School starts at nine here, for all you weirdoes who live in the states and have to start at like 7 or something insane like that. You poor bastards. A pout immediately forms on Kyle's face. I'm sure if I was a little more awake I'd be finding this all very adorable, but, I HATE getting up. I hate mornings. I hate morning people. You already know how I feel about being told to rise and shine. I don't much like being told to get up 'cause my brother's boyfriend might be showing up at any minute or hour either. Not that I have a whole lot of experience with that or anything. Sigh. He's still with the pouty face. And I'm starting to wake up. And this is all starting to be really cute. And hilarious. I laugh. "Dude, you should see your face! Like it's a check out a mirror, take a picture face." He surrenders the pout for the original grin. I roll my eyes, but it's a happy eye roll. Don't you just hate contagious joy and happiness? Yeah, me neither. The barrelling in of one Jonas A. Wheaten at 7:35 proves Kyle to be the winning Vasskez brother in this particular round. "Hi!" Oh, you should hear him. So adorably way too happy to see Jonas. "Hey, Kyle." They smile dope-ily at each other for awhile. "If you're going to start making out, I'm leaving," I say, only half kidding. But, I'm more than a little sure they're not there yet, so, mostly joking really. "Dude, shut-up," Jonas orders. "Yeah. We put up with you and Celery." It's not even all the way out of his mouth before Kyle starts looks wicked sorry. "Oh bro—" "It's okay, Kyle. Don't worry about it," I cut in smoothly. "No, I mean, I can't believe I said that." "Neither can I, you doofus," Jonas says, shaking his head disapprovingly. I smile. "Really, guys. It's not a problem. I can talk about him without like bursting into tears. Well, most of the time anyway. And I don' t want us to like, not talk about him. We should talk about him. We should do it more actually. He wants to be with us here, we all know that. So let's include him the best we can, alright?" "This is all because of some pact?" Kyle asks incredulously. I laugh. "No, man. This is all because I'm in love. And that makes me fucking lucky, no matter what. I may not be in love with our current geographical circumstances, but that's all temporary. I know it took me long enough to get hip with the not being as depressing as the dead, but my current signs of recovery are not like all a dead cat bounce or whatever. I'm really getting better." They smile. Happy for a totally different reason, but maybe happier than I've seen them yet. "It's about damn time." "He means that's terrific," I smile. "Yes, I know. But thank you, Jonas." "No trouble whatsoever." Were you dead in the 80's? Did you live in a cave? Have you never seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Well go! Now! Rent it! And pick up A Princess Bride while you're in the neighbourhood! Again, there's trouble getting them to part company (Kyle actually wanted to drive us to school, or at least walk with us) but I manage eventually. As we walk, I decide some talking is in order. "So, Jonas." "So, Carrots." "Don't be difficult." "Am I being difficult?" "Yes, you are." "Oh." "Jonas." "Carrots." "Grrr," he laughs. "So, right?" I nod. "So what's the so?" "The so is, so what are we going to tell people when they ask why you're floating around in a euphoric state?" "Is that what I'm doing?" "Yeah, Jonas, it is." He smiles. "I like this," I shake my head, chuckling. "Glad to hear it. But - my question?" "Oh right. Um, we tell them I'm in love," the honest approach. I'm impressed. "And when in the natural order of things they ask who with?" "We say you and then hope that after the laughter stops no one remembers to ask the question again." "That'll never work." "Why not?" " 'Cause 10 bucks says the first person we try that with glares at us, tells us they can't believe we'd to that to Celery and storms off in a very righteously indignant huff," Jonas laughs. "I'm serious, dude." He nods. "I know. They love him over there." "Not that you'd have a hope of getting him to admit it. Big modest goof." "Carrots, man, Celery's not modest. He just honestly doesn't care about what anyone else but you thinks of him and as a result of this he doesn't NOTICE. He's popular and well liked, but he could care less. You've always been the only thing on his radar that was more than a quiet passing blip." "You're not a blip!" He shrugs. "Okay, so that's true. Me, Kyle, and the rest of your family. But that's it. In big letters on the middle of the dart board that is Celery's consciousness it reads CARROTS. You know I'm right," For such a smart, observant, intuitive guy, it sure took Jonas long enough to pick up on what was going on with Kyle. I say that to make myself feel better because I think Jonas may be smarter than me. "You always are." He laughs. "That I am." The thing is, about me and Celery, he really usually is. "Getting back to the so, what are we going to do? We're agreed your plan isn't going to work, right?" Jonas nods. "Yeah. I dunno what we should do." We discuss it the rest of the way to school, but arrive before coming up with a workable solution. Neither of us even brought up just saying Kyle and being done with it. "I guess we'll just have to riff then," I say with a shrug. "Yep," Jonas concurs. I smile, taking a stab at looking kind and reassuring. He smiles back, but I don't know if it worked. "After all, we are the riff masters." "Right," I keep the reassuring smile going. "It'll be okay, man. People will be cool." "I know," I pat his shoulder. "Let's go find Alex and Brian." I know I haven't been big on mentioning them, but they've been around. It's what they do. They hang out, give support. Good guys. I've never really been good enough back, but especially since Celery left. I'm really going to try to start working on that. I mean, really. I'm not joking. Or being sarcastic. They deserve better, and I want to start giving it. Kaleb too. He's been so great in all the friendliest ways, and even with the improvements in my mood of late, I haven't been giving him much of the time of day. Brian and Alex are at a table in the caf, just like they always are. It's weird. They only met 'cause of me and Celery and our whole bridge the gap sit together at lunch project, but they're like best friends now. That's like the one thing that stops me from feeling totally guilty about not being a good enough friend to them every second of my life. 'Cause, even if I'm pretty useless, at least they've gotten something out of it. "Hey, guys," I say, smiling. "Hey." "Yo." One of these days, I'm going to get around to making fun of Brian for saying `yo'. "How's life?" They shrug. "It's Monday." "And I have detention again, all this week after school. Which is a major drag." "How come?" Man, his girlfriend should like move or something. "Same old, same old," I shake my head, but grin. "You're a dog, dawg," Alex chuckles. "Whatever, how was your weekend?" "Okay," Jonas just smiles and tries not to blush. They notice right away. "Oh man! I know that look! What do you think, Bri? Is it love?" Brian nods confidently. "Absolutely. So tell us, Jonas, who's the lucky lady? Is Sam back in the picture?" Jonas sort of grimaces at the mention of her name. I wonder if there was more to their break-up than he said. "No." "But you don't deny that you're giving off some serious love vibes?" "No," great riffing so far, Jonas. Really. "Well then, share with the class. Who's the chick?" "It's not a chick." They roll their eyes. "Okay, okay. Who's the LADY?" He shakes his head. Fuck-me. He's gonna do it. "It's not lady either," he shakes his head. "It's Kyle." "Kyle?" He nods. "Who the hell is that?" Jonas sighs. "Carrots' older brother." Now for the eye bugging. And the jaw hanging. "A guy?" Brian mouths. "A guy." "Damn." "Yeah, I mean, we thought you were straight," Alex adds. "I am. Or, I'm not gay anyway. I just... like Kyle. Most other guys, I don't feel anything for them. I like girls, but I also like Kyle. I LOVE Kyle." It seems to be sinking in. "Okay. Well, that's cool. Like, you're our bud either way, right, Bri?" " 'Course, dawg. It doesn't change anything," Jonas grins. Relieved even though most of him knew this is how things would go down. "That's good to hear, you guys." They shrug. "No problem." "Word." I laugh, suddenly realizing Brian does all the gangster talk just to joke around with me. He winks, and I shake my head. "I was wondering when you'd catch on, dawg." "I'm a little slow." "Huh?" Jonas. "Never mind." "Kay then." Spending the day trying to get Jonas through classes makes me wonder how people ever put up with me. I mean, how far-gone on somebody can you get? Pretty far is the answer here. And I know I'm the exact same way whenever I've so much as got Celery on the brain, but knowing it is a totally different thing than seeing it. You don't even want to know how many times I have to like shake him or snap my fingers to get Jonas to even know what class he is in. By the end of the day, I'm like exhausted. Happy, delighted for him, and generally in good spirits all around, but exhausted. "Carry me home," I order drowsily. He laughs. "Not gonna happen, droogie." "You were right before on the porch - you are a crappy friend." "You're breaking my heart," above his voice, I hear a very familiar sound. The rumbling of the Le Baron. I'd know that sound anywhere. Have I mentioned that I love my brother? "Kyle," I say once I've stumbled over to the car. "You're a life-saver." "Sure I am - now, geek in the back," I laugh. I'm too tired to explain. Do some like research or something. I'm sure you could find where that comes from if you put a little effort in. Here's a hint - it's not from a movie. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I'm like, dead over here. I climb into the car and lie down on the back seat. I don't stay conscious long enough to hear Jonas get into the car. The next thing I know we're at the house. "You okay, bro?" Kyle asks, leaning against the roof of the car, peering at me through the open door. I nod, or I move my head at least. I'm sure it resembled a nod. "You never would have made it home," Jonas says, shaking his head. "I really WOULD have had to carry you. Or tried at least. What's the matter?" I've managed to sit up by this point. "Nothing, I just haven't been sleeping a whole lot lately." They look at each other sheepishly. "That's like pretty much our fault, eh?" Jonas asks with an embarrassed grin. "Yeah, but don't sweat it. I am going to take a nap though. I'll take a rain check on the homework thing, if that's okay." "We'll try not to miss you too much," Kyle says, at the same time as he helps me out of the car. "You may not succeed, but I trust you to try your hardest." In my exhausted fog, it takes me awhile to find my room, but I get there eventually. I never noticed how far my bed is away from the doorway. Maybe I'll just drop right here. My lids are already shutting down, why not the rest of me? No. My bed will be much more comfortable. Come on, feet. You can do it. Ahhh. That's nice. Good niiii.... --- Edited by Ed