Date: Mon, 26 May 2003 21:29:04 -0500 From: Karla Schulz Subject: Carrots and Celery Part Two Chapter Twelve Yes everyone, it's time to brave yourselves for chapter twelve. --- Mom's hip to the strange right away. I'm only half done the table setting when she comes downstairs, dressed and ready to go do the job that's already being completed by the birds of the love variety. "Up and getting brunch ready? I wish I could come up with something more original but who are you and what have you done with my surly teenage son?" "Surly?" I gasp. "I've NEVER been surly. A little morose maybe, but surly. That's a complete fabrication." She smiles. I really like my mom, you know? Not just the how great she's been to Celery and supportive of all the gay love stuff either. I mean I really like her. As a person. She's funny and has a huge tolerance for lame jokes, sarcasm, and all other manner of my foolishness. Okay, so that's the only way she's gotten through raising me (and let's not forget Kyle, Celery, and the rest of this family) mostly sane, but still. She's way cooler than most moms. But we already know how freakishly lucky I am, so that's old news. "You get better at stalling every time we talk. What's up?" I shrug. "Nothing with me." "I see," she nods, and I really think she does. I try to tell by looking at her, but moms are good at not giving stuff away. Bah. "Mom?" "Yes, Carrots." Not bad at the even, measured, gives away nothing tone either. "It's not anything bad." The smile's a bit tight, but it's real. "Anything I might need to be sitting down for?" I shrug. "I don't know. And I'm really not sure if you do, but let's not talk about this anymore, okay? It's really more of an altogether thing." She nods. "Sure honey. I assume your brothers are out getting the food?" You see that! Cool. Because she meant both Kyle and Jonas. He has a great family, I know this, well, not because I've ever like, met them, he's told me so (don't laugh!), but he's got another one right here if that silly biological one if his ever falls through. He knows it too. That's gotta feel good. In fact, those of you with good memories will remember that he's told me that it does. But we all know how shitty your memories are, so I figured I'd better remind you. "Yep." "Well then I'm going to go back upstairs and wake the rest of your siblings and make sure your dad hasn't fallen back asleep. I'll see you in a little while." "Kay." I finish the job and then sit down on one of the chairs to think. Whatever she might be thinking this is about, I don't think it's that Jonas and Kyle have fallen in love. I mean, how smart is my mom? Me and Celery were by all accounts totally and ridiculously obvious about it. I don't think the same can be said for Kyle and Jonas. "We're back and we come bearing organic baked goods!" Jonas shouts with `I'm in love and the whole world's in love with me' exuberance. He walks into the dining room carrying heaps of nummy treats, followed by Kyle, who's smiling like, well, someone in love. There's going to be no waiting to talk about this later. Everyone else at the table would have to be blindfolded to not see what's going on. I' m not even sure blindfolds would be enough. It's like they're carrying their love around with them like it's an extra person. Damn, I love that part. "Guys." "Yeah?" Talking at the same time. Giggling afterwards. Oh no. This isn't INCREDIBLY obvious. Not at all. "Um, everybody ready to come out?" Well, that got rid of those dopey lovesick smiles pretty quick. Smooth, Carrots. Very smooth. "What?" I sigh. "Well, it's like, pretty obvious, you know?" They look at each other. Not something I'm thinking they were ready for. They're barely handling being out to each other. No, this can' t happen yet. It's brilliant scheme time. Damn. I used to be better at scheming. "Oh." I know this is like a bad moment or whatever, but I have to tell you about what Kyle just did! When Jonas said oh, all pathetic and little, Kyle went to him right away and started rubbing his shoulders! Like, that's the sweetest thing I've ever seen! And it was KYLE! My stupid, insensitive, sarcastic, pompous, older brother! I'm gonna cry. "It'll be okay. Not like they'll care. You know how freakishly supportive my parents are. It's in their blood. Anyway, it's not like this is bad news. I want them to know about the best thing in my life." And to think, there were all these girls out there on whom he wasted all his charms... Poor things. No more of that for them. You should SEE Jonas. He's all with the glowy happy again. They share a quick hug. It's clearly all still a bit new to them, but they seem to be trusting their instincts more, acting and doing instead of wanting and imagining. When Mom, Dad, and whole rest of the crew arrive only seconds after they'd broken their embrace, Jonas and Kyle promptly go back into their shells and stay that way over the meal. Kyle is especially quiet. If it hadn't been for the twins and their endless chatter about soccer, video games, and this girl they both claim the other one likes, there might not have been any talking at all. Everyone gets on board teasing them about it - even Jonas - but Kyle remains conspicuously silent. Brunch ends and the table gets cleared. Kyle's had that `working up the courage' face for like the past five minutes. Mom and Dad are doing the dishes in the kitchen and we three are sitting around the cleared table. The twins are already back in their room playing video games and I don't where Kara went. I like that girl, but she never talks. She's super independent too. Like a little elfin grown-up. She's also very serious, the way Celery was when I first met him. "Okay," Kyle says, having made up his mind. "That's it. I'm going in," Jonas pushes his chair back, but Kyle shakes his head. "No, stay here." "I'm not letting you do it alone!" Jonas protests, indignant. "I'm going to get them to come out here," Kyle explains. "Oh," Jonas says more calmly. Kyle smiles. "Thanks though." "Don't mention it." Kyle takes a second to squeeze Jonas's hand as he passes, and then walks into the kitchen. We hear the sound of talking but no words, and Kyle returns followed by the olds. "Kyle, I thought you said you wanted this to be private," my mom says. He nods. "Yeah, I do." She looks at me questioningly. I shrug and try to smile cheerfully. "Moral support." "Jonas?" Oh like he can talk right now, real good, Mom! "Uh." "Him too," I say quickly. They shrug and sit down. Everyone's wearing serious looks and worried half-smiles. This is all going so well. "So, what did you want to tell us, Kyle?" Dad asks. Dad's solid. Really calm and understanding. Mom is understanding, just not at all calm. Now you know where I get it from. "Um, I... I'm," he pauses, unsure of what to call himself, and, I'm guessing, if he'll even be able to go on. It takes only a small smile from Jonas to revive him, and in a clear and definite voice Kyle declares, almost triumphantly, "I'm in love with Jonas." Mom and Dad stare blankly for few LONG seconds. Broken by, "Oh, thank goodness!" Poor Kyle. Who wouldn't be totally thrown. They shake their heads. "We thought you were –" Mom stops abruptly half way through her thought, "Did you say Jonas?" Kyle's face falls into misery. Jonas looks stricken. "Yes," Kyle whispers. More silence and blank staring. "Well, that's a surprise," Mom says eventually, almost humorously. Maybe even just plain regular forget-the-almost humorously. Dad nearly chuckles, and then catches the pair of scared and confused looks on Kyle and Jonas. "Not one we have ANY problem with. It's just, well, going to take a little getting used to. We didn't expect this." There, that's pretty calm. Told ya. Mom's staring at Jonas. I don't think he's in love with the experience. Going by his nervous fidgeting, I'm thinking no love whatsoever. "This is wonderful!" Mom suddenly exclaims. "What?" Oh I am right there with you, Kyle. Wonderful? She smiles. "Oh well, I know it's not the easiest path you can take - and yes, not one we really expected you to go on - but I believe that the more love you share the easier it will be and I can see it in both of you. You love each other," she's going into proud tearful mother mode! This really IS wonderful. "And Jonas, I'm so very happy it's you." "You are?" He's obviously having trouble finding a way that makes sense. "Of course! Here I was, already loving you like a son, hoping you and my other boys weren't going to grow apart as school friends sometimes do, but now we all have one more connection with you!" She looks sharply at Kyle. "You better treat him well." "Mom!" This is just too much fun. I can't even tell you how glad I am I stuck around. Moral support never felt so right. "He treats me fine, we're pretty new still," understate much, Jonas? "But don't worry. This is one of those for the long haul kind of things - I hope," Side moment taken for Jonas and Kyle to smile shyly at each other. Feel the love! Feel it! "I hope it is too, honey, but even if for some reason it doesn't work out, I hope you know there'll always be a place for you with us anyway." I know what you're thinking. How unreal this is. How this would NEVER happen. Well I'm telling you, that's what she said! That's the kind of thing that happens in this family. Don't you just hate us? "Thanks, and yeah, I know." Who's up for a big, warm, fuzzy feeling inside? I know I am. "When exactly did this happen, just for the sake of my curiosity?" Dad asks. Kyle shrugs. "Um, which part?" "How many parts are there?" Funny, Dad! "I meant, the getting together part or the being in love part?" "Both." "Well, the love I guess was pretty much from the start and the getting together was just yesterday." "Still - that's less that 10 years. You beat your brother." Hey! Kyle smiles. "Yeah, but he helped so... I can't really take credit." "Really, we were sort of hopeless without Carrots," Jonas affirms. "Always looking for new recruits, eh?" Man, I told you she was like me. "Sure, Mom. Wanna sign up? I've been told we don't have nearly enough lesbians." Mom rolls her eyes and Dad snorts a laugh. Knowing me has had such a cooling effect on my parents. It's almost frightening to think how sad and mean they might be if it wasn't for me. Lucky I'm around. "I'll pass. On a serious note, Kyle, why the change? Have you known you were gay all this time? I should you think you would have known you could tell us." "There wasn't anything to tell. I dated girls because I liked to, I am mostly straight, I think." "But you're in love with Jonas." Not judging or criticising, just the gentle statement of facts. Trying to understand. "Well yeah. But... Jonas is special," Mom smiles. "He certainly is." And he's adorable when he blushes too! "What about you, Jonas?" He shrugs. "Oh, Kyle's not really all that special. He's just convenient. I mean, I'm over here all the time anyway. Might as well get two birds with one stone." That's why I love Jonas. He always gets his own back. Kyle's crimson and we're all laughing. "You suck," Kyle mutters. I grin at Jonas, but he shakes his head at me. Too easy. We talk for awhile longer, and I get the feeling Mom and Dad have already gotten more comfortable with all this than Kyle and Jonas. "But hey, how come you were so like relieved at first? What did you think I was going to tell you?" "Oh, well, it seems so silly now. We thought you were going to say you were dropping out of University." "What?" Yeah, me too. Where'd they get that from? "Sure it sounds ludicrous now, but it was all we could think of. You'd been spending all this time at home instead of on campus, you weren't showing much interest in all those `college' type parties and activities. We thought maybe you were losing interest in your courses as well." "How were we to know all this time you were really just falling in love?" They're pretty cool as a team too, Mom and Dad. "Humph," says Kyle. Jonas pats his knee. "Dude, just be happy everything worked out so well and don't even worry about the other stuff. So what if they were worried you were thinking of dropping out, isn't that better than them being worried you were going all gay?" Kyle smiles. Score another point for Jonas. They may just exhibit some quality teamage themselves. No real big change there though. "So everything's officially cool?" I can see him needing to be extra sure. "Very." "And totally." "Great," Kyle says, letting out his final bits of nervousness in a long sigh. Jonas grins. "Hugs!" Mom says, jumping. Kyle laughs, but he hugs her back tight. Then it's Jonas's turn, and it's the same for him. Dad just gets up and smiles at them. Hugging's not really his thing. "Thanks, you guys." "We love you, Kyle, and you too, Jonas. There's nothing to thank us for." "Still, I'm grateful." "Did you hear that, Jerry? A grateful teenage child? Where did we go wrong!" Dad (that would be Jerry) leads a mock tearful Mom gently away and we all let out another breath of relief once they're gone. "That was fucking incredible," Jonas says, a little head shaking action going on. "We're that kind of family." "Yeah. It's 'cause of him," true, true. Try it without the sarcasm and you'd be right on Kyle. "You're no great shakes, but your family makes it worth the trouble." "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know you love me." Jonas grins shyly. "Okay, so I do. Gotta problem with that?" "No," Kyle says, smiling softly. So much shy action to be had. Jonas gets a call from his parents late that afternoon, and is forced into the near impossible task to dragging himself home. Away from Kyle. Who - if he wasn't already - has become the centre of Jonas's universe. Sensing he wants to talk but doesn't want to have to ask, I simply follow Kyle up to his apartment after their drawn out and most adorable goodbye. Who knew shyness could be so amusing? We sit on his couch. There a 'let's catch our breath and take stock for a minute' silence, broken eventually by Kyle's loud sigh. I smile. "How you doing, bro?" He shakes his head, smiling, but obvious a bit in over. "You look a little dazed." "He slept in my bed, Carrots," Kyle says, like he still can't get over it. "I mean we were fully clothed and everything but - in my BED. It was just so... strange." He stops, and then rushes out, "Good strange - but strange. I don't know what do to, like, it's all, so." "Foreign?" I'm a very helpful guy. "Yeah. I know what to do with girls. Like, not just you know, sex - everything. How to kiss them, hold them, what they like. I mean non sex wise." As scarring as it truly is to hear my brother say stuff like that, I'm also really proud that he's able to. "I don't know what to do when it's another guy." "So don't think of it like that. It's not 'another guy' - it's Jonas. Another person. One you love." "I'm trying, but, it's going to take awhile." "Then take awhile. As long as you're both in there, willing to do what you have to to make things work, how long it takes couldn't matter less. It's all about being willing to try, not about instant success." "I had no idea I had such a profound effect on you." "Huh?" He grins. "Well you sure didn't get this wise on your own," I laugh. "That's the asshole I know and love." Just before I say what I'm about to, I remember with a grin the thing just like it Kyle said to me when me and Celery first got together, "It's good to see love hasn't changed you too much." Kyle gets the connection and grins also. "Well you know, no sense messing with perfection and all that." "It's going to work out, you know?" He sighs, happily. "I know." We talk and talk, until we're getting dangerously close to the talking-all-night mark. I'm sure for Kyle it all felt like one long minute, he was so wired. I get him to sleep somehow, mid sentence about how much he still can't believe this is happening. I take a good look at his couch on my way out and give it a little pat. I know! Many of you feel sorry for this couch! That is because you're crazy! It has no feelings! And the new place Jonas is sleeping is MUCH better. Man I love that commercial. Well, not that that's the exact way the commercial goes or anything. But, you've seen it. You know what I mean. If you don't well, that's nothing new. Just ignore it like you do everything else I say. --- Edited by Ed