Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 21:01:32 -0600 From: Karla Schulz Subject: Carrots and Celery Chapter 13 And so life goes on. Our new Jonas filled existence goes pretty much like this: he'll hang out and study with us after school (except on the occasions when his parents get weird) and Kyle will often be around too, depending on whether or not he has a late class. Evenings are still for just us, but that's mostly because nobody can stand to watch Buffy with us. Apparently we get a little too involved, and they don't care for our commercial activities much either. Then comes Friday and Saturday, which is still very much me and Celery's appointed alone together time, followed by Sunday. You know the drill for Sunday mornings, and in the afternoon we always hang out together, the four of us. We never really have a plan for what we're going to do, but it always ends up being something. Even if that something is just sitting around the living room talking and watching movies. But, actually, that's another thing Jonas does for Celery and me -- he gets us out more. He's always the one to suggest we go out and do something instead of the just staying in and chilling yet again. The way he leads us all around the city makes me feel like I'M the one who only just moved here a few months ago. Luckily, like me, Jonas is a lover of public transit, though we do bitch to each other about the seemingly endless cost increases. The bus experience is one of the rare topics where the group dynamic changes, however briefly, and it becomes me and Jonas (bus riders extraordinare) against Kyle and Celery: "we hate the bus". All the other people on the bus make them feel self-conscious. Jonas and I on the other hand, see the bus as an ideal opportunity to meet someone new. The running joke is Kyle and Celery sitting far away from Jonas and myself, shooting us `we're not with them' looks the whole time. But like everything else, it's just a joke. I'm hoping, by the end of all this, you'll be able to recognize one on your own, but I know we're not there yet. I'm hoping that reading that previous paragraph helped you get the idea that I love riding the bus, but have I shared with you my love of Kyle's car? I haven't? Well now is the time. I love it way more than an anti-car advocate such as myself should, but I can't help it. It's this big beige Le Baron and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. I mean, it's hideous, but it's SO hideous it's beautiful. It was totally S-class back in like the 80's and you know how I feel about that decade. Kyle got it really cheap from a friend whose parents bought him something new because they couldn't stand to have it parked in their driveway -- so he's pretty free with it. Meaning he lets us drive it pretty much whenever we want. When I say we, I mean Celery. Oh, and Jonas. Me, I don't even have my licence. I never even got my learners. I don't know why, but I've never been a member of the teen masses with a burning desire for the open road. I don't really even like driving, it sort of makes me nauseous. To be honest, I don't really like it when Celery drives either. I prefer it if Kyle or Jonas is at the helm. It's simple really, when he's not driving we get to sit in the back, holding hands and making-out. When Celery drives we hardly get to make out at all. Why all the car talk? It has something to do with the fact that we're in the car right now, and I'm yacking so much cause this doesn't happen to be one of those times Celery isn't driving, and I figure if I can't be frenching I can at least be rambling. This isn't one of those random cruises, we're going somewhere. Where we're going you would not believe (or knowing us you shouldn't anyway) and hence I will now explain it to you. How we got to be going where we're going. It's not so much the location of our destination, but that fact that it's me and Celery who are going, that's so shocking. Here's how it happened. It's Saturday now and it started Wednesday already, the harassment. Wednesday morning and me and Celery were sitting in the cafeteria like every morning talking and doing whatever, waiting for school to start and all that regular, everyday jazz. Then in raced Jonas, late, which hardly ever happens, looking way too excited, like he'd just been told the secret of life and was about to share it with us. "Dudes, I have news, the best, most wonderful news ever in the history of news," "So tell us," I said, leaning back into Celery. Even in the cafeteria, we can't help ourselves. Celery sits on the orange chair far enough back with his legs open that there's room for me, and with his arms around me, life's about as good as it gets. "I know where Jamie Meranz is having his party this weekend," I have to admit, I was unimpressed. Like sure, that's a big deal if you actually like to go to parties, but that's not me and Celery. "So?" His eyes bugged out. "SO? SO? Carrots! The Meranz May Long weekend party! It's like the biggest party ever, of the year, perhaps even of our entire highschool careers!" He wasn't even really over exaggerating, The Meranz family have like a million sons and the oldest one started having this party in like the late 80's. There's an insane amount of lore about past parities, and excitement about the upcoming one usually starts building months in advance. This is the first one in two years, which is adding to the current frenzy. But none of that changes the simple fact that the party scene has never been ours. "We don't go to parties Jonas," Celery nodded, pulling me a little closer against his chest. "We also don't go to dances, or any other events of that nature." "Look, I get that you guys are the most anti social people in the world, but this is the party of our LIVES! If you never go to another party in your lives -- if you only go to ONE party your whole existence, let it be the Meranz May Long Weekend Party." All Jonas needed to do to complete the performance was to get on his knees. "Really Jonas, we wouldn't have any fun. Nothing about parties is us. We don't drink or smoke or do any other kinds of drugs, we don't want to hook up with hot girls and go have sex in some strangers bedroom. We don't want loud and I'm sure VERY bad music damaging our ear drums. If we wanted to have a party, then we'd have a two-member party. Maybe four if you and Kyle felt like putting up with us, but that's it." I turned my head back a fraction, just to make sure I was speaking correctly for Celery, but he smiled and kissed my head. Checking was a bit silly, I should have known better. "Guys, guys, guys! This is so much more than drinking, sex and today's worst popular music. This is the greatest party, the party of all parties. The big one. I'm not even FROM here and I know how amazing it's going to be. I heard about it all the way from the hick town I'm ashamed to admit I come from. It will be a million times bigger and better than any party you've ever not been to." "No man." But Jonas wouldn't let up, there was a reason he started three days before the actual night of the party. He knew he'd need at least that long to wear us down, and persistent he certainly was. The party, apparently, would be nothing without us. By not going, we would be depriving him of a truly good time. As his friends, we had to go. He tried other stuff too, and kept trying it, over and over, until finally Friday afternoon we just yelled, "FINE!" "You've made the right choice." Celery and I looked at each other and shook our heads. The things we do for our friends. So now we're going, in Kyle's beige Le Baron, Celery's driving, Jonas is navigating, and I'm stuck in the back seat all alone thinking to myself that this isn't where I'm supposed to be. I SHOULD be on my couch cuddling against Celery watching Buffy kick some vampire ass, but no. This party is going to have to be the coolest thing I've ever seen for me to even not hate it. But then again, maybe me and Celery can just sneak away from wherever the main partying is going on and be alone. There will definitely be no sex in the room of a stranger, (even with each other that still wouldn't be cool) but that way we could at least talk and maybe kiss a little. Holding his hand would be enough to make my night. I'm easy to please that way. "We've been driving around for a really long time you guys, maybe we won't be able to find it," I don't even bother to mask the hopefulness in my voice. "Pipe down back there crumbum, we're going to find this party. Find it, enjoy it, and then remember it with `those were the days' looks in our eyes for the rest of our lives." "Is that so?" "Yes, that's exactly so. Now hush, some of us are trying to navigate." "Celery," I whine. "I know baby. But it's for a good cause. Try and remember that." "What's the cause?" "You." I can hear the grin, even if I can't see it. "Oh really? And just why am I a cause?" Jonas asks, sounding a bit peeved. "You need love. Or at least a hot girlfriend. I mean, what happened to Sam anyway? You can't keep going on double dates with us and Kyle for the rest of your life you know. Speaking of which, that guy needs to get some action himself." Eww to the action and my brother in the same sentence, but that said, it's true. They both need a little loving. And how. "And I'm sure hanging out at a party with my two gay best friends is really going to help me score with the ladies," Jonas scoffs. "Hey, don't you know how much girls like us gay guys? You saw what happened with Cherrie and Meghan," Lately, I've been testing the joke about Cherrie and Meghan waters, and so far Celery seems to be taking it well. "If those are the kinds of girls you droogs plan to hook me up with, that's the kind of help I can do without." "At least you admit you need help. That's a good start." "Grrr man." Jonas says, twisting around and looking at me with clenched fists. "Never force me into going to a party with you Jonas. This is what will happen. I hope you've learned your lesson." He's slumped down in his seat, arms crossed I bet. "I think it's sinking in." "Be nice baby," Carrots admonishes. "I'm not being nice?" "We're going to have tonight, all three of us. Together. Okay?" "Fine." I mutter. "Jonas?" "Okay." In the exact same `recently lectured by parent' little kid pout. We drive for another 15 minutes maybe, before we get to the party. It's in some kind of fucking barn or something. We're way out of the city, and there's this huge field, and this warehouse barn type thing and starting from like a kilometre down the road you could hear the music blasting, the lights flashing out of every crack. People are going in and out in a steady stream and even more people are just chilling outside. There are cars parked everywhere, occupied and empty. Jonas is going nuts up front, and I'm actually feeling vaguely excited myself. New frontiers right? You only live once, cease the night, that kind of thing. Celery looks at me, and we can't help but grin. Jonas pounds the roof of the car a few times in triumph. "Yes! You see, I KNEW you wouldn't be able to resist the fun!" We roll our eyes. "Points to you Jonas." Ignoring the rather sarcastic tone of my voice, Jonas rushes out of the car and yanks my door open. You actually can't open the door from the inside, so it's not really like he was being a gentlemen or anything. Just another one of the many quirks that's makes the Le Baron experience worth while. Celery's out of the car also, and we stand together, taking it all in. There's a lot to take it. Sensory overload for sure. "Let's party!" Jonas says grabbing each of us by the arm and running towards the barn. Inside everything is even more crazy. The lights, the music, the dancing. This is no house party, Jonas was right about that. It's more like a rave, except no techno, thank god. The music is actually okay, too loud maybe, but okay. There's an actual band, playing good sort of nondescript music suited for slightly wild dancing. Almost everyone is taking advantage. There are fringes of people just standing like we are now, drinking, talking, whatever, and even there's a couple old couches and stuff with people sprawled all over the place, but starting from the centre and spilling out pretty much everywhere else, people are dancing. Jonas looks ready to jump right in, but Celery holds him back. "First, checkout the water supply, you'll get sick if you don't have enough water. Then, either find someone to dance with, or we'll all go together. I don't want you getting lost in there." I'm sure he was yelling, but it sounded about normal volume. "Okay," Jonas says nodding. He looks around for awhile, then smiles. We look where he's looking, and see Sam. His casual, sort of, sometimes girlfriend. I always forget he's going out with her cause she's never really around, and yet, he seems to like her a lot the rare times she is. "Go for it man," I say, pushing him. He grins. "I'll be back -- eventually!" "Alone at last," I say sidling up to Celery, curling my fingers around his waist. He smiles. "Do you want to dance?" I shake my head. "Not yet." That's invitation enough, and he starts kissing me. Maybe that sounds sort of dangerous, but there are so many people everywhere doing so much different shit I can almost completely guarantee no one even notices. Jonas comes back about half an hour later, with Sam in hand. "Having fun?" Jonas inquires smugly. "Sort of," I say with a shrug, even though under oath I would be forced to admit I'm having a great time. We haven't even been making out the whole time, we did dance. And it was pretty awesome, dancing with Celery with so many people around and none of them caring. We'd never danced before in our lives, but all dancing is really is moving to the beat of the music and your partner, letting your inhibitions go. Moving together has never been something we've had a problem with, so we quickly got the hang of it. "Say what you want, but you can't fool me. I see those grins you're trying to hide." We let them loose, and Jonas grins back. "Damn, you know already, but I should still do some introduction action. Carrots and Celery, Sam," We smile at each other. "I'm surprised to see you guys here," she admits. "He made us," I say, pointing at Jonas. "That doesn't surprise me as much," Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I see someone very familiar dancing with this chick with brilliantly red hair. Kyle. What's he doing here? I try it in my normal voice and they don't even look at me. I think the music just got louder. "Hey!" I yell. They turn. "I see Kyle!" "What?" "KYLE!" "WHERE?" "OVER THERE!" I point to where Kyle and the chick with the cherry red hair are dancing. "WHAT'S KYLE DOING HERE?" "I DON'T KNOW!" Celery starts waving his arms around in the air, trying to get Kyle's attention. It works eventually. Kyle starts winding our way, evil grin on his face. "Jonas!" He shouts clamping him on the back. "This is your work I take it?" Jonas nods proudly. Kyle thumps him again. "Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on a difficult to impossible job well done." "We're not that bad," I protest. "Yes you are." Kyle says firmly. Celery smiles at everyone, but mostly me. "We are baby, but so what right? Who wants to be normal remember?" I grin. "Always." Kyle looks at us, multiplying his actual surprise into full blown over dramatic shock. "Don't tell me you're actually having a good time!" He gasps. "Don't be such a jerk Kyle," I say, shaking my head, but smiling. I guess maybe we deserve all this, after the fight we put up. Celery's also seems to be from that school of thought on this one. "I knew they had it in them," Jonas declares. He's all about proud smugness tonight. "You're a miracle man Jonas, I kneel down before you," "Better you than me," Sam suddenly fires out of nowhere. I almost (okay, completely) forgot about her. We all stare at her, stunned, and then laugh. Jonas pretends to be offended, but I swear he's pink in the ears. "I like this girl," Kyle says to Jonas. He grins. "Yeah, me too." Sam smiles, pure happy this time, unguarded. Forgetting her tough girl tongue for a minute and just liking what he said. There is definitely some like connection action going on here. "What are you doing here anyway?" I ask, turning back to Kyle. He shrugs. "You don't have to be in highschool for this party to be a big deal. Everyone's here." Pretty much too. I can't seem to stop spotting people I know, and like Kyle said, not just from highschool. "How'd you get here though? We have the car," "I came with some friends," He says, shrugging again. "Oh," He grins. "But I think I'm going to hang out with you kids for awhile now," I smile. "My excitement cannot be contained." "Naturally." We're far from the centre still, but Sam and Jonas are half dancing anyway, pretty tuned into each other. Me, Kyle and Celery are all just joking around and stuff, doing the laid back survey the fun thing, but amongst all the love and the fun, I'm starting to feel a little ill. Too much loud music and unaccustomed body movement I guess. I'm about to say something when Kyle rubs his hands together. "Come on everybody, let's have our own little retro boogie dance party," He says preparing to lead the whole group back into the throng. Celery takes my hand but I stay where I am. "I'm going to get some air I think - but you go." He pout-frowns. "Are you coming down from having fun mode?" I shake my head. "No, just going for a short interlude into getting some air mode. I'll be back. My heads just spinning a little. I'll be fine though, don't worry." "You don't want me to come with you?" "No, fine remember? It'll be easier for me to return to the mode that is fun if I know you're in here waiting for me, having fun of your own. Okay?" "If you're sure," "I am." "My level of fun will seriously decrease during your absence," I smile. "That's all part of the getting back to the fun. But really, air = me, dance = you. I'll be back before you know it," "Okay, you're REALLY sure?" I kiss him quick. "Sure sure. I'm going now," He lets go of my hand and I head for the exit. It's good to get outside. Breathe in some of that country air. Or you know, urban sprawl air. Whichever. Either way, it works. The spinning subsides and in only like a minute or two I'm ready to go back in. I'm walking that way when someone touches my arm. "Carrots?" The someone sounds surprised. I look, Kaleb. "I didn't expect to see you here," He says, shaking his head. I shrug. "Me neither. Jonas talked us into it." "Us? Celery's here?" "Of course." "But not right here." "No, inside." "Oh, you're not fighting or anything are you?" It's weird. It's like he wishes he could be concerned, but he despite himself still comes off sounding closer to hopeful. "No. I just needed air and I didn't want to drag him along." "Oh." "How bout you?" "What'd you mean?" "Are you with anyone?" He laughs shortly. "That would be a no. I was thinking I might meet someone. Instead I met you," I've heard about these. Loaded statements. I'm not sure I'm a big fan. I smile apologetically. "I'm sorry." "This is something you are around me a lot." "Sorry?" "Yeah." "I can't help it. Another thing I'm around you a lot is confused. I don't get why you like me - that is, if you still like me. Do you, uh, still like me?" He smiles. "Yes Carrots, I still like you. So far the distance thing isn't doing much for the getting over you process." "Maybe you need to spend MORE time with me, once you really get to know me you're sure to get me right out of your system." He laughs. That's bad, isn't it? "Dude, I don't think that would work. I'm not sure what will. Time probably." "Yeah, time's good. But like, you're going to be over me so fast, I promise. I mean, there are way hotter fishes in the sea." He sighs. "Sure there are." "It's not like you're a leper or something. You're funny, good looking, easy to be around -- other than that weird attraction you have to me -- you've got lots going for you," He touches my shoulder, for the briefest second. "Carrots," "Yeah," "Can you go away?" "What?" "If you stay out here talking to me, I'm going to continue to feel the urge to kiss you, which is a bad urge. An urge resulting in absolutely no goodness what so ever, so really, and please, go." There's the time that passes while I'm stunned, the time that passes where I try to think of something to say to make him feel better, and then the time when finally I turn around and scurry back into the barn. In my nervousness, I rush right past Celery, who's standing just inside. You know about barns right? There aren't really doors so much as this whole big space, gap, whatever? You can see everything. I double back, and look into his eyes. Even with the weird lights of the party, I can see they're grey. "Cel?" I say uncertainly. He stands there clenching his jaw for a few seconds before pulling me to him tightly. I hug back, every bit as hard. "Did you see?" He nods. "We didn't, I mean, we didn't like PLAN it or anything, we met each other out there, but it was like we were 'meeting', you know?" I'm a little frantic, but Celery takes hold of my face, his eyes filled with understanding. "I know. I knew, the whole time, it's just for a second, or half a second or a fraction of a second, I didn't know as much." I put my hand over his own, the one touching my cheek. "I'm sorry," Who else can I find that I can apologize to at this party? "You've got no reason to be." "And yet I am." He smiles, it's faint, but it's there. "Is he okay?" "I guess, still liking me though apparently. But like, I'm sure he'll get over it," After all, it's ME we're talking about. Just your regular, gangly brown or perhaps black haired guy. What's special about me is Celery, and I'm pretty sure that's not what's attracting Kaleb. "I'm not." "What?" He sighs. "It's hard to explain, and I'm probably going to do a bad job, but bear with me. I'm a bad example, but it's, like, a weird thing, liking you. I mean, you're not really normal you know? So the people who like you, really like you, there aren't that many of us." I know he's not TRYING to be insulting, but come on! "You're funny and interesting, very good looking, all that stuff, and everyone likes you, but it's not like the FULL, deep you, know what I mean?" Oh yeah. Totally. "In some ways it's hard to get to REALLY know you. A lot of that's my fault I guess, but that's not the point I'm trying to make here. You're different you know? You're like, an acquired taste. It's like for a person to REALLY really like you, they have to BE like you, or have the right stuff in them to fit with your stuff. But cause you're made up of such unique stuff, there aren't a huge amount of perfect matches for you out there, or even really close ones. It's like we're blocks," blocks? "And you've got a really distinct shape, and only a few other blocks fit in really good. Others can fit, but not perfectly, right? But when it IS a perfect fit, jeez. Once you're in, you're in far you know? Speaking from personal experience, falling for Carrots Vasskez means you fall hard." I roll my eyes. "You are insanely biased. It's a crush, he barely knows me." "I loved you before I knew your name." "Yeah but," "Yeah but what?" "Yeah but I don't know. It's different. That's you and me. This is Kaleb, it's totally not the same." "The only difference may very well be how you feel. I'm just the one who lucked into being loved back." "You didn't `luck into' anything. I hope my love for you is a result of more than luck," "Luck, hard work and a strange obsession with 80's movies then." I kiss him, it feels so nice to do. "And you love me because," "It's your hot ass. That's really all I like about you." He's never going to let that go, never. There's nothing I could ever do to stop him from teasing me about that. I might as well not even try. "It's so comforting to know what we have isn't random or shallow," He laughs. "Shallow maybe, but random? I don't think so. I spent years carefully orchestrating the whole thing, thank you very much. I want my credit." I kiss him again. "How's that?" "Not bad." "I'm sorry it's not my hot ass, but that's just something that's going to have to wait." That's one shocked look for Celery, one point on the invisible big board for me. I am the champion. I grin. The colour begins returning to his face. "I'm going to kill you." I keep right on grinning. "It was worth it." We go back all the way into the party, and locate Jonas and Kyle, who are dancing, if you'll believe it -- and I'm having trouble with that myself -- together. Pretty darn close too, Sam's nowhere in sight. We force our way through to them, and then just spread our arms open, silently demanding `what the hell?' They laugh, breaking up the little dirty dancing thing. "Sam had to leave, so I've been comforting my boy here," Kyle says, touching Jonas's back for maybe the fifth time tonight. "Relax droogs. Just cause we're straight doesn't mean we can't DANCE together." Yeah, dancing. That's all it was. Sure. "As long as everyone's having fun," Celery says, saving me from trying to come up with anything that wouldn't sound and be sarcastic. "So let's keep having fun," Jonas says, moving once again to the music, grabbing me. I'm confused as he begins to dance around me. "You can't dance with your brother," He says, like it's totally obvious. I glance over at Celery, who shrugs and faces up to Kyle. It's not like it's slow music or anything, but it's still fucking weird seeing Celery dancing with my brother. Then again, there's been very little about this night that hasn't been weird. But I can't say it hasn't been interesting, or for the most part, despite all the weirdness, pretty fun.