Date: Sat, 16 Feb 2008 17:25:39 EST
From: ImJeff0882@aol.com
Subject: My Roommate Nick, part 26

The following story contains graphic sexual scenes involving adult males.
If material of this nature offends you then you should not read this story.
Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age in most states you are not
allowed to read this story by law.

This story is mostly true. The names have been changed to protect the
innocent.

The author (Jeff Hunter) claims all copyrights to this story and no
duplication or publication of this story is allowed, except by the web
sites to which it has been posted, without the consent of the author.

Positive comments are always welcome and you may e-mail them to
ImJeff0882@aol.com


My Roommate Nick (Now my life-partner Nick), part 26


We were taking several cars to the ski resort. Nick and I were leaving the
resort and going back to school.  Kenny and his wife and son were heading
straight home.  Everyone else was coming back into town.  Nick suggested
that we call Billy and tell him to ride with us.  He could then ride back
with Anthony or Margaret.  I thought it was a good idea.  Billy said he
would love to ride with us.

We picked him up and headed out.  We cell phoned everyone.  We had a
meeting place along the way.

I was very excited.  Soon, I'd be skiing and I love these cousin ski trips.
I think I've done this with them a dozen times and I've always enjoyed
myself.

Nick and Billy started chattering away about anything and everything.  I
sat and listened and drove.  After about an hour we met up with everyone
else, got some coffee, filled up the tanks and headed out in a caravan.  I
was so excited I wanted to sing.  Both Billy and Nick said they wanted out
of the car and would ride with someone else.

Nick turned in his seat and said, "We don't know each other that well and I
know that Jeff is going to talk to you about this and he'll only tell me
later, so I'm going to ask you anyway and if you don't want to talk about
it with me you can say so."

I glanced at Nick, wondering what he was talking about.  I felt this queasy
feeling in my stomach.

Billy said, "Shot, but can I ask you stuff, too?"  I glanced in my review
mirror wondering what Billy wanted to know.

"Sure," Nick said.  "Well, clearly you are okay with having sex with guys.
Jeff told me that you're rather good at it and that you enjoyed it a lot."

I jumped in.  "What are you doing?"  I felt my face warm.

Billy said, "No, this is okay.  If Nick and I are going to be friends I
think we'll have to get to some of this.  But, I get to ask questions,
too."

I shook my head and stared at Nick.  He said to me, "I'm not going to be a
jerk.  Trust me, please."  He turned around further and said to Billy,
"Maybe it fair to say that I always knew I was gay, but that I didn't want
to be.  I was shy and kind of a nerd in high school."  From there he told
his story about fucking girls in college but wanting to be with a guy,
preferably me.  Then he told Billy about some of what his brother was going
through and the conversation we had with him.

"So," Nick said, "I know you know all there is to know about Jeff.  I know
he's wondering and I'm also curious about how you see yourself and more to
the point, now that you're getting a divorce, will you be looking for a
relationship with a guy or a woman or are you just going to go with
whatever comes along."

I glanced in my review mirror at Billy.  He was nodding.  I heard him take
a breath.  Nick said, "Or do you think I'm an asshole for putting you on
the spot."

Billy smiled.  "No, not at all.  I was just thinking that it is weird
having this conversation with you and Jeff, but I can't even imagine having
it with anyone else."

I said, "You don't have to answer."

He said, "Would you rather I didn't?"

I said, "No, Nick is right.  I was going to ask you?"

"So, you're worried that I might not want to talk in front of Nick?" Billy
said.

"Well, we know each other a lot better than you know Nick," I said and
chuckled.

"Yeah, but Nick is right.  Who better to talk to, and he's also right that
this will certainly get us knowing each other a lot better."  He chuckled.
He smiled and said to Nick, "Are you always this quick and to the point?"

"Actually, no, not at all.  It took me two and a half years to tell the
Squirt,"

I interrupted and said, "Okay, knock it off.  I'm serious, I hate being
called that."

Billy said, "No he doesn't."  They both laughed.

Nick said to Billy, "As I was saying, it took me along time to tell your
cousin that when I jerked off I fantasized about him.  Your cousin,
however, is both direct and quick to the point.  But I'm learning.  And,
like I said, I knew he was going to talk to you and he'd tell me and you'd
know that he told me, so I thought,"

Billy said, "It's what I've admired about Jeff for as long as I can
remember.  He says what's on his mind, asks for what he wants and tells you
where you stand with him."

We rode for a few minutes without talking.

Billy said, "I really am afraid to say this for some stupid reason.  Maybe
because I've never really said it out loud."  He sighed.  "I was really
hoping that I'd miss sex with my ex-wife.  Look, I don't want to put
anything on her.  I was really a fuckin' lousy husband.  For most of the
years we were married, I was having sex with a man."  Nick was half turned
in his seat looking at Billy.  I kept glancing at him in my mirror.

"Was it just Jeff or were there others?"

Again, I could hear him exhale loudly.  "There was another after Jeff, but
mostly with Jeff."  Silence.  "It's been over a year since I've had sex
with a woman.  I don't miss it.  I enjoyed it, never had a problem with it,
but I don't miss it."

"Did you miss it with guys?" Nick asked.

My stomach twisted.

"Very much, but more so when I was no longer married.  I guess after I
stopped having sex with Jeff and focused on my marriage the sex there was
satisfying enough.  But I started thinking about guys a lot.  I started
going to the gym for a pick up game of hoops.  I think I thought it was a
good way to work off being horny."  I glanced in the mirror, he was shaking
his head.

Nick asked, "What happened?"

I could hear him sigh.  "It was stupid idea.  I went from playing ball, to
showering, to sitting in the steam, to getting to know this guy, to having
sex with him.  He was straight, of course.  It stopped as fast as it
started and then I decided I had to commit, again, to trying to make the
best of my marriage.  I think I had to find out if it was going to workout
for me without distractions.  I owed her at least that."

"Good for you," Nick said.  "I never really physically cheated on the women
I was dating, but I was never emotionally invested or my libido was
directed elsewhere, even though I wasn't acting on it.

"Do you mind the questions?" Nick asked.

"Not so far," Billy said and smiled.

"Before you got married, what did you think was going on with you, I mean,
why did you get married?"

"I knew I was attracted to guys and sex with guys was hot."  This was all
hard for me to listen to, because I was the one he was having sex with
before and after his marriage, and Nick knew it.  "I'd known my ex for
several years and we were good friends and sexually involved.  I wanted to
be married, have a, quote unquote, normal life.  I wanted children.  I
liked sex with woman."  He sighed.  "I don't know, it made sense then, or
maybe I just didn't think about it.  It was like I decided I had to grow
up, do what people expected.  And I think I was just too afraid that all
I'd ever have with being gay was one guy after another and I didn't want
that."

I became aware that my hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Billy said, "You know that I was involved with Jeff at the time."

Nick said, "I didn't know it at the time.  I didn't know it until a short
while before he and I became involved.  But, yeah, now I know."

I glanced in the back seat and saw him looking at me.  He said to Nick, "I
love my cousin.  I love most of my cousins.  That's the way we were raised;
to be close and depend on each other, like brothers and sisters.  Jeff was
the youngest and for some reason he was the kid everyone enjoyed.  Clearly,
it went further between us.  I mean, both physically and emotionally.  It
shouldn't have, but it did.

"Could the Squirt and I ever be lovers like you and him?  No, never.  I
think our family, most of it anyway, is fine with homosexuality, but
cousins being boyfriends.  I don't think that would have gone over.  Also,
Jeff and I never really had a lover relationship.  I'm not sure you can
call having an affair with someone, being in a love relationship with them.
I was married and he was dating.  It was unhealthy all around."

I noticed Nick nodding and glancing at me.

"That's not to say," Billy said, "that I didn't and don't love him and was
very attached to him.  But, in truth, how do you measure a relationship
with someone when it's a big secret, you're meeting four or five times a
year, and you have a marriage with someone else?"

I glanced at Nick.  Nick took a deep breath and said, "You know, Billy, I
really wanted to like you because I know how much you mean to Jeff."  I
glanced at Nick, wondering what was coming next.  "But wanting to or not, I
really do like you.  Fuck, it feels like you've got your heard on
straight," Nick said, but he sounded sad.  He said, "For me, I'm glad it
worked out the way it did, but I'm sorry that things worked out the way
they did for you."

I glanced at Nick and thought I'd cry.  I couldn't imagine him saying
anything more truthful and caring.  I didn't say anything.  I didn't know
what I could say.  Nick said, "Where are you now with all of this?  The
being bisexual or gay stuff."

Billy said, "I know this sounds really stupid and especially to the both of
you, but I've never really said that I am gay."  He chuckled.  "With all
the sex I've had with men in my life, and how much I enjoyed it, it's hard
to imagine, but it is true."  I glanced in my rear view mirror.  "I'm gay.
Just because my dick works, as you said," he said to Nick, "with women,
doesn't mean that I am bisexual.  Just because I got married doesn't mean
I'm straight or bisexual, either.  I mean, if having sex with men and women
means you're bisexual, then I guess I am, but if just feels more real when
I'm with a man.  I really don't know how to explain it.  It just feels like
I am me when I'm with a man.  When I'm with a woman, it's more like I'm
acting like me.  It's like its about being in my head not in my body.

"But I'm scared, really scared.  I don't do well alone.  Being alone is
really hard for me."  He sighed loudly.  "I think if you're gay you have to
be okay with being alone.  I'd say there are a lot more gay men who are not
in a relationship than who are."  He chuckled.  "I have this theory.  Why
are people so against gay marriage?"

Nick said, "Why?"

"Because there are a lot, a lot of men just like me who want the security
of a marriage, that illusion that you'll be with someone forever.  And, if
that person could be a man with a social sanction, they'd much rather be
with a man than a woman.  But the scary stereotype of gay men is that you
can never have that relationship.  You can have serial monogamy, as they
say, but never the comfort of having someone at home.  A lot of bisexual
men, or gay men who can get their dicks to work with woman, decide on woman
not because of the attraction to woman, but because they want the illusion
of permanence or security.  The illusion of being connected to someone
rather than always being alone."

We made eye contact in the mirror.  Billy said, "I'm really afraid that
I'll never find someone to settle down with."

Nick said, "There's no way to know that, but I guess the chances are more
likely than not, unless, of course, you work at finding someone."

Billy said, "You've got the cream of the crop, you know that."  I saw Nick
nod.  "From what he tells me, so does to.  So, you guys are lucky,
unusually lucky."

Nick laughed and said, "I know how lucky I am.  I really do.  But part of
it was my unwillingness to let go of him.  I don't think I ever thought he
and I would be lovers.  I was sure he was straight, but something inside me
made me work hard to keep him as a friend.  But, you're right, in the world
of gay men we are very lucky. But he is a brat sometimes."

Billy laughed, "Sometimes.  He told me that you're pretty easy going.  I
thought to myself, he'd have to be."  They both laughed.  So much for the,
`Jeff is wonderful' talk.

Nick said, "Well, he's worth it.  He's a pretty good cook and he's good in
bed."

I said, "I had a good teacher," and glanced into the mirror.  Nick and
Billy chuckled.

Nick said, "And he's got a great body and as you know, he's hung like a,"

I jumped in, "Okay, enough of this.  This is getting weird."

Billy said, "One more thing.  You said I could ask questions."

Nick smiled, "Yeah, go for it."

"How do you like that trick he does?  You know with his legs over his
head."

Both Nick and Billy laughed and went into, "Yeah, HOT.  I wish I could do
that."

I said, "Okay, enough, I don't like this."

I said to Billy, "So, knowing what you know about maybe being single for a
while, what are you going to do?  Have you met anyone?"

"Right now, for a while, I'm just going through my divorce.  I know a
couple of gay guys at the school I teach at.  We're friends.  I'm not
attracted to them, but they're really cool and they have friends."

Nick said, "Colleges are probably a pretty good place to meet guys.  When
you're ready, there has to be all kinds of organizations you could join.
Do you think you'll get tenure?"

"I'm not sure, probably not."

"Fuck, why don't you see if you can get a job closer to us, at least in the
same state."  I glanced at Nick.  He was looking at Billy.  "Really, Bill,
you know it's going to be a lot easier for you, all around, if you're
closer to family and closer to Jeff and me."

"I've thought about it.  It would be nice to be closer to everyone.  Maybe
you could introduce me to your brother," he said and chuckled.

Nick said, "Wow, I wish my brother was as healthy as you are.  If he had
his head on half as straight as you do, I'd call him right now, but I don't
know that he has his shit together enough for anyone."

I glanced into the mirror.  I saw Billy glance at me.  I looked at Nick.
My eyes were filled with tears.  Nick noticed.  He reached over and touched
my arm.  I shook my head.  I felt this incredible sadness.

Nick said, "Jeff's upset."  I glanced at Nick.  He said to Billy, "I know
your cousin.  If Kenny's marriage just broke up and he was sitting back
there talking about being alone and lonely and thinking about moving
closer, Jeff would be insisting that you do it.  I think he's afraid to say
it because I'm here.  So, I'll say it again.  Move closer to us.  We want
to be your friend and we want you to be our friend."

My chest felt like it was going to cave in.  I said, "I love you, Billy.  I
miss you.  I worry about you.  I'm not sorry that what happened between us
happened, but you're right it was never going anywhere.  But we do have a
bond that the other cousins don't.  I know you in a different way.  I think
we can be great friends and Nick knows a lot of gay guys at school.  There
all over the graduate departments."

Nick turned around in his seat and faced forward.  He said to me, "See you
thought I was going to fuck this up, didn't you?

Billy laughed.  I said, "Yeah, I did."

Nick said to Bill, "I wasn't so nice to my brother.  I beat him up
emotionally."

Billy said, "Talking about brothers.  You can beat mine up, too."

Nick said, "Hey, Jeff, you've got a gay cousin.  That's cool.  Fuck, yeah,
that's cool."

Billy laughed and said, "Is he usually like this?"

"So direct?  No.  Being a jerk, yeah," I said, and poked Nick.

Billy said, "Okay, so I have questions."

I took a deep breath.  I couldn't imagine what he wanted to know.

He asked, "Why do you think your relationship works?"

Nick turned around again.  Again I wondered what he'd say.

Nick said, "We've talked about this.  Obviously, we're not sure, but when
we talk about it, it seems to come down to two really important things and
a lot of stupid stuff."

Billy asked, "Like what?"

Nick glanced at me and said, "You can jump in."  I made a face at him.  I
guess I was being a lot quieter than normal but this was hard for me.  He
said, "We really try to talk things out and that's not one of my strong
suits.  But I'm getting better.  I'm not allowed to sulk or go off mad."

Billy laughed.  "That's my aunt's doing.  She always wants it out on the
table."

"Yeah, well, like mother like son.  I like talking about stuff like how I
experienced something.  Kind of like an intellectual exploration.  Your
cousin does it with feelings.  It used to be when we'd go there I'd feel
like I was going to puke, but now I just suck my balls into my body and
plow ahead."

Billy laughed.  "What else?"

Nick looked at me and said, "You can jump in."

I said, "Sex.  We talk about sex.  I mean we talk about what we like and we
tell each other what we want.  We have two categories."

Now Nick jumped in; of course.  "We have love-making, which is wonderful.
It always seems to happen at night, but sometimes on Saturday afternoons."

I said, "Not on Sunday afternoons during football season."

Billy had heard about that and chuckled.  Nick said, "Then we have sex.
That can be a long draw out thing or a quickie.  And your cousin is into
quickies, like just before I leave to go to campus at the front door."

I felt my stomach twist because Billy and I were into quickies.

Nick said, "Jeff says that if we are going to keep out sex life intimate we
have to keep out emotional lives intimate."  Nick reached over and messed
my hair.

Billy said, "He's right."  Silence.  "What are the small things?"

Nick said, "I think this is really important," and smiled and poked me.
"We shower together a lot.  We don't have much sex in the shower, but we do
share the shower and wash each other.  I think of a more mundane thing than
showering every morning, but to do it with the person you love makes it
something very different."  Nick continued, "I know this sounds stupid but
I love, and I don't mean in a sexual way, to have Jeff wash my back and my
butt and my crotch as I wash him.  I mean, think about it, how many people
would you allow to bath you.  I love it."

Billy said, "It sounds wonderful."

I said, "Nick wakes me up every morning with coffee.  I love coffee in bed
and I can't even imagine having to get up to make someone else coffee."

Billy said, "He's always been a grump waking up."

I said glancing into the rear view mirror.  "Nick is very thoughtful.
He'll never admit it but he's a romantic and loves to do romantic things."

Billy said, "Jeff loves that stuff.  Do his eyes tear up?"  Nick nodded.
They both laughed.

Nick said, "We work out together.  When we started doing that I felt this
pressure to keep up with him and be as good as him.  Now, I just tell him
to slow down or take a break.  I don't have to compete with him.  I can
just like doing it with him and I do, now that the pressure is off.

I don't know, we just have a routine that feels good.  Coffee, showers,
running, having lunch once in a while on campus, our favorite restaurant,
our favorite fresh Mex.  Going dancing and being nasty.  Oh yeah, and he
loves to clean the apartment.  That's so important to me.  I hate it."

I swatted him, "Fuck you, if I do love it.  I love cleaning the apartment
as much as you love my singing."

Billy said, "Oh fuck and then there's Jeff's singing.  He's the only person
I know who is so bad and who still sings."

Then we went to where Nick's career was heading.  To which law schools he
had applied.  What he might be interested in doing?  Who were his favorite
football teams and who did he hate.  They agreed on most teams.  What
college teams he liked and was he a Yankees fan?  He asked me many of the
same questions about my future plans.  How we were going to work out two
careers.

By the time we arrived at the ski resort, I was very comfortable with Nick
and Billy talking and joking.  I can tell when Nick is working to get along
with someone or stay involved in a conversation.  He was enjoying Billy and
Billy was enjoying him.  I kept glancing at Billy in the rear view mirror
and watched him smile and laugh and talk excitedly.

We usually rent a condo when we ski, but this year there were going to be
more or us than usual, so we rented a house.  It was that, or renting two
condos, and the thought of us having to split up the group did not go over
with anyone.  It's all about us being together when we are not skiing.
Most of us spend time skiing with each other, but eventually, since we all
ski at different levels, we usually take off in smaller groups and then
meet up at the end of the day for a last run.

I had made phone contact with Danny.  He was meeting us at the house.  He
was rooming with Billy, since they were the only two single people on the
trip.  I had no doubt that they'd get along.

Seeing Danny was wonderful.  We arrived at the house about an hour before
he did.  Everyone wanted to know about him.  We had talked to him and he
said he was fine with everyone knowing that he often went dancing with us.
The one thing Nick and I did not mention was the sex we had with him.  When
he knocked at the door, Nick and I jumped up, ran to the door and gave him
hugs and kisses.  He smiled, and smiled and smiled.  We introduced him to
everyone.  He seemed overwhelmed.  Nick suggested name tags.

Nick and I talked and we agreed that one of us would baby sit Danny for at
least one night.  My family can be very intense.  They tease, they joke,
they are pretty direct and outspoken and they love playing jokes on each
other and the newbie.  I made them promise to go easy on Danny.

We all went out for dinner.  Danny sat between Nick and me.  Halfway
through dinner, Danny finally spoke after Margaret complained that he was
being too quiet.  He said, "My family is quiet.  No one ever speaks, even
when we got out and eat.  Going out with Nick and Jeff always felt like I
was with the people in my family times twenty.  It was like being on an `E'
ride.  This is like ten times that."  Everyone laughed.  He said, "I'm
trying to figure out how you decide who's going to talk next.  How do you
know?"  Again, everyone laughed.

Kenny's wife said, "You just jump in and talk louder than whoever is
talking.  If you wait your turn, it will never come.  They all have a lot
to say and they say it loudly."

Danny said, "That's not all they do loudly."

It went over everyone's head for about two seconds and then Kenny said, "Oh
my god, I hear a story coming on."

I shook Danny.  Nick said, "Yes, a story."

Danny laughed as everyone goaded him.  He said, "Well, I didn't know Jeff
and Nick when I moved into my apartment.  I knew they had a one bedroom,
because they're apartment was the same as mine, just upstairs, above me.
My girlfriend at the time said she thought they were really hot and
wondered if they were gay because of the one bedroom. She used to say that
they were both good looking, had hot bodies and lived in a one bedroom, so
they had to be gay.  She wanted me to get to know them and check out their
bedroom; one bed, or two."  He had everyone's attention.

"I thought I could hear someone making noise above me and it sounded like
it was people having sex.  So, this one time, in the middle of the
afternoon, I heard this wild moaning and groaning and grunting.  My
girlfriend was noisy, so I know what noisy sex sounds like.  Someone was
doing the deed and enjoying themselves.  It was going on right above me, in
the living room.  I decided that if they were straight, sooner of later a
woman was going to have to come out of that apartment.  About a half hour
later, I heard their door open.  I grabbed the garbage and opened my door.
I heard Nick and Jeff coming down the steps.  They didn't see me.  Nick
said to Jeff as they walked down the steps, `Let's take it easy, my butt is
sore'.  Jeff said to Nick, `You've always got an excuse'."

Everyone laughed.  I rolled my eyes and shook my head and then hit Danny on
the back of the head.  Nick laughed nodded his head.

Danny continued.  "That's when we first met.  I introduced myself to them."
I fully expected him to end it there.  He went on.  "One time the three of
us went out dancing."

Kenny asked, "I heard you've gone dancing with them.  You go to gay clubs?
What's that like?"

"I like to dance and gay clubs are great and dancing with Jeff and Nick is
definitely fun, and they protect me."

Kenny said, "That's cool."

Nick said, "So, go on with your story," smiling.

"They went to their apartment.  I went to mine.  About two minutes later I
hear this banging and yelling.  I knew it was too soon for them to be at
it.  It scared the shit out of me.  I decided that they surprised someone
robbing their apartment.  I grabbed my golf club and ran upstairs.  I
pounded on the door.  They opened the door and looked at me."

I just kept shaking my head.  Nick was laughing.

Kenny was chuckling and nodding.  He had heard the story before, from Nick,
of course.

Margaret asked, "What was going on."

Danny smiled, "One of them said to the other, `whoever gets to the bed
naked first gets to fuck the other'.  I guess Jeff was in the bedroom but
not naked and he had closed the door on Nick who was naked and trying to
break the door down.  Anyway, I'm pounding on the front door, they open the
door, Nick is naked and Jeff has underwear on.  Nick says to me, `He dude,
what's up?'"

Everyone laughed.  I said, "That's not exactly how it happened."

Nick said, "Sounds like what happened to me."

I said to Danny, "I was going to protect you from any practical jokes they
decided to play on you, now all bets are off."  Danny laughed.

Margaret said to her husband, "Why don't we play games like that?"  He
sighed and shook his head.

Kenny said to Danny, "Nick talked my wife into Sunday afternoon football
half time sex."  She hit him and pushed him half off his chair.  He laughed
and said, "What?  I'm praising you.  I bet Margaret thinks its praise."

Margaret smiled and nodded.

My uncle hadn't heard about our half time sex, so, of course, Nick had to
explain.  Kenny's wife hit Kenny again.  We all laughed.  She blushed and
said, "I hate to say this but I do enjoy it.  I don't know why I enjoy it,
but I do."

Kenny said, "She even times Jeff's nap (their son's name is the same as
mine.  I'm his godfather.) on Sundays to coincide with the half time."

Nick gave a quiet cheer.  He was the one who talked her into trying it.
She smiled at him.  She said to Kenny, "Now tell them what I get in
return."

Kenny said, "I have to do the dishes on Sunday night."

She hit him again.  "That's not true.  Tell them.  You do the dishes,
right."

Kenny said, "Once a month, we get a babysitter; we go out for a really nice
dinner, dress up dinner, and then have a night of foreplay and lovemaking."

Everyone said, "AHHHHH."

She leaned over and kissed him.  He blushed.  Margaret said to Kenny,
"You're such a doll."  She said to her husband, "I'll make that deal with
you."

He said, "You're on.  Four quickies equal a night out."

Danny said, "Hell, I'd make that deal."

Nick and I said at the same time, "You're on."  Everyone laughed.

My uncle said to his lover, "How many games are left in the season?"

Steve laughed and said, "Honey, we don't need to bet on a game, just snap
your fingers and I'm ready."

We skied the next day.  Nick has been doing well, but he refused to ski
with Kenny, Anthony, Steve, Billy and me.  Danny was snowboarding and he
joined us.  Everyone else, including Nick, skied the intermediate slopes.
We agreed to meet for lunch.

The first day, Danny and I hung out most of the day.  We caught up with
what's been going on while riding the lifts.  I really enjoyed seeing him.
At one point, I wondered if he had any regrets about all that we had done
and then it occurred to me that he seemed to be so comfortable and excited
about being with us that he must be okay with it all.

We met for lunch.  Nick said he was having a great time.  I tried to talk
him into joining us up the mountain but he said he wasn't ready.  I
suggested that I ski with him on the intermediate slopes, but he told me to
take off.  He says he feels too much pressure when I ski with him.  I told
him that I was thinking about renting a snowboard and boarding with Danny
later in the week and that I'd stay on the intermediate slopes with him
then.

That night, we decided on take-out for dinner.  Margaret's husband and my
uncle went to pick it up.  Kenny, Anthony, Danny, Billy, Nick and I got
naked, wrapped ourselves in towels and headed out for the hot tub.
Margaret and Kenny's wife followed us outside with their camera's and
started snapping shots as each one of us dropped towel and awkwardly,
climbed the steps into the hot tub and stepped in.  Everyone was
complaining about shrinkage in the cold air.  Of course that brought on all
sorts of comments about my floppy dick.  They have a nice picture of me a
little bent over with one foot on a step and the other raised trying to get
into the hot tub.  Nick and Kenny were pushing me.  So, from behind, you
can see my balls hanging between my legs and the head of my dick.

It occurred to me, that this is what life should be like: two straight
married men, one straight single man who tried sex with guys, a soon to be
single gay man, and two gay lovers, sharing a hot tub in the nude.  I was
sitting between Kenny and Nick.  Again, I found myself moved by the level
of comfort.  Kenny and I were shoulder to shoulder and out legs were
pressed against each other's.  When I sat down and realized how physically
close we'd be, I expect that he'd scrunch up and try to find his own space.
But he didn't.  The conversation just went on.  Danny was sitting across
from me and he was one of the people I was sharing foot space with.  I'm
not sure why this always means so much to me.  I think deep in my psyche
there is an expectation of rejection from people, my male cousins, who
meant so much to me when I was growing up.

Of course, there were jokes about getting a hard on and `was that your dick
that poked me'.  Anthony said, "If anyone gets a hard on, they have to
stand up and flash the girls."

I fully expected Nick to take that as a challenge.  I said, "Nick, don't
you dare or you won't get any for a week."  Everyone laughed.

Kenny's wife said to Kenny, "If you stand up with a hard on, you'll get
some tonight for sure.  Come on, baby, show them what you've got."

Everyone laughed and applauded and told him to go for it, but he would not.
He said, "If I stand up with an erection, Nick will get hard and have to
stand up and then he won't get any for a week and I don't want to do that
to him."

I said to Nick, "Is it worth it?"

Nick laughed and said, "No."

Danny said, "What happens if I pull wood?"

Billy said, "That depends on whose wood it is that you're pulling."
Everyone laughed.

Danny laughed and blushed and said, "You guys are related aren't you.  I
can't ever get one by Jeff or Nick.  I should know better than to try."

We skied, we ate, we drank, we joked, we had a great time.  I skied with
everyone at one time or another.  I rented a board and hung out with Danny.
He's a lot better than I am.  I even skied with Nick, finally.

I love our yearly ski trip.  I love that it is yearly and that Billy and
Danny joined us.  We insisted that Danny come back next year and he agreed.
Everyone loved him but he and my cousin Margaret and Kenny's wife got along
really well.  Each night after skiing we'd climb into the hot tub and the
woman would sit, watch and tease.  When we were done, they'd make us go
inside and close the curtains so they could soak.  We reminded them that
when we went to the hot springs, they went in with us in the nude.  They
said that was very different.

I said to Margaret, while sitting in the hot tub, and I really should have
known better, "I don't get why it okay for you to sit and gawk at our naked
bodies and we have to be locked up inside.

Margaret said, "Look, squirt, I used to change your shitty diapers and wipe
your dirty ass when you were a kid.  I was there when you'd pee into the
air and earned the name squirt, that's why."  Everyone laughed.  She said
to everyone, "You'd take that kids diaper off and he'd pee.  His mother
would let him run around without a diaper.  He loved running around naked
and inevitably he'd stop mid-stride and pee on the floor.  So, that's why I
can sit here and gawk."

I sat shaking my head wishing I had not said anything.

Everyone laughed.  Everyone started calling me squirt.

Nick said, "I just love this.  I love watching them get on him."  He said
to Margaret.  "Tell us more."

She smiled and nodded.  "He was hung even as a baby."  She laughed.
Everyone started pointing at me and laughing.  "When he'd have to pee, he'd
stand there and he'd get a stiffy and then he'd start to pee.  We all knew
he was going to be packing when he grew up."

Everyone started laughing and saying, "He had a stiffy."

Nick was about to say something and I said, "Just don't.  Anything you say
will get you into trouble.  I promise you."

There truly is a pecking order to things.  Nick can't get one over on me,
but I can never get one over on Kenny or Margaret.

I did spend time alone with Billy one day.  We skied and rode the lifts.
He told me that he likes Nick and can see why I am attracted to him and why
I love him.

He said, "We (meaning most of the people who were at the house) were
talking yesterday while you and Nick and Steve went to the grocery store.
Kenny was saying that it is so obvious how much Nick loves you and looks up
to you.  Kenny said, `I watch the way Nick looks at Jeff and it touches me.
When Jeff talks, Nick sits and smiles with eyes wide and happy.  Margaret
said that it is obvious to her that you love Nick deeply.  Danny said that
he was surprised not that he could be friends with two gay lovers, because
he had gay friends before, but that he could be closer to you and Nick than
any of the friends he's had for years."

Billy said, "Everyone was singing your praises and Nick's praises.  It kind
of felt awkward."

"Why?" I asked.

"There was so much I wanted to say, but I felt that anything I would say
would be heard through the lens of what happened between you and me.  I did
say that I had just gotten to know Nick and that I thought he was very
bright and sincere and funny and that I, too, was impressed with how much
you two loved and respected each other."

I reminded him of what Nick said about Billy moving closer to us and that
it came from him and that if Nick didn't mean it he would never have said
it.  Billy said, "I'm going to need help with the family when I tell them
that I am gay.  I know I'm going to get a lot of grief.  Not so much about
me being gay, but getting married and being gay.  Right now, they are
seeing the divorce as something that happened because we couldn't make it
work, but when I tell them that I'm gay, that will all change."

I said, "Billy, look, you're going to take some shit, but you'll be
surprised.  What you should do is let me talk to my mom before you tell the
family.  She'll know how to deal with any shit that might come your way."
He agreed.  "I think where you'll take shit is from your father.  Not that
he will be able to do shit, but he'll give you shit."  Billy agreed.  And I
said, "And then there is Paul."  We laughed.

Billy said, "If he opens his mouth, I'll stick my cock in it and ask him if
he remembers what it tastes like."  We laughed.  "I'm glad things are
getting settled between us.  I really do you miss you.  I always said that
the sex was great, but if it stopped I'd want to be your friend.  I meant
it."

"Billy, it's all good.  Really.  My concern was Nick and how he'd feel, but
I'm not concerned anymore."

Saying good-bye to everyone was sad.  Actually, I think Nick had a harder
time with it than I did.  Danny and I hugged and talked and hugged.  I was
surprised when he said in all seriousness, "I can't tell you how lonely I
feel sometimes.  I seem to do fine on weekdays, but when the weekend comes
it gets bad.  Sometimes I wonder around campus and think I've made this
terrible mistake.  I mean, the department is great and the job
opportunities will be great, but I feel so alone.  I haven't really made
any close friends and I haven't found anyone interesting to date.  I miss
you guys so much.  I can't tell you how often I think of you two and wish
you were still living upstairs."

I was truly touched.  I smiled, pulled him into me and hugged him.  I said,
"Nick and I are starting an adopted family.  We want to have friends that
we love and trust: gay, straight, and bisexual, males and females.  We want
them to be family.  You are at the top of our list."

"Can I come and visit you guys sometime, if I get really lonely and
depressed," he asked.

I said, "Fuck, yes.  Why haven't you already?"

"I don't know.  I didn't think it was okay, but after spending time with
you and Nick, I thought it was okay to ask."

"Okay, asshole.  Listen to me.  Anytime you want to visit, just call and
tell us you're coming.  Fuck, you know Nick would love it.  And I would
love it."  He nodded.  "And I don't mean to have sex.  If you want to go
out dancing, we'll go.  If you want to sit around and do nothing but school
work, we'll do that.  Just bring your books and your running shoes.
Exercise is good when you're depressed."

Danny laughed, "Like I'd be able to keep up with you guys."

"Knock it off," I said and poked him.  "Don't waste the time driving.  Hop
on a plane, we'll pick you up.  If you want to go skiing with us for a
weekend, we can do that.  Fuck, Danny we'd love to see you.  We miss you,
too"

Danny smiled.  "Okay.  Fuck, I love you guys."  We hugged again.

Nick finally said his good-byes.  We all climbed into our cars and headed
out.  I told Nick what Danny told me.  Nick used his cell and called Danny.
"Hey, dickhead, I can't believe you thought about visiting and worried that
it wasn't appropriate to ask.  I'm serious, if you told me that, I would
have kicked your butt.  I want to see your butt at our apartment within the
next month or two or I'll fly there and kick your ass."

He hung up, looked at me and said, "He'll visit."

We drove back to school, rehashing the time we were away.  Nick went on and
on about everyone.  It means a lot to me that he loves the people I love.

I once read that part of the reason straight marriages last, when they do,
is all the family ties that act like glue.  I can see that is true.  My
family validates my love for Nick.  Watching them enjoy him and watching
him enjoy them really strengthens my bond with him.  I believe his
relationships to my parents and my cousins, strengthens his relationship to
me.






SUPER BOWL

Nick and I went skiing super bowl weekend.  We stayed at a hotel and drove
to the slopes each day.  We skied on Saturday together.  He's doing a lot
better.  We had a good time.  Sunday we went up and skied all morning and
left the mountain at about 1pm.  We got back to the hotel, showered and
rushed down to where we could watch the game on a big screen.

Nick told me that I had to pick the spread and then he'd pick the team he
wanted, but also, he wanted to make another bet.  So, here is how it went.

One bet was the spread.  I studied up.  If I gave too many points he'd take
the points and the Giants, but I had to get enough points so that when the
Giants lost I'd have a chance of still winning.  Stupidly, I talked to
everyone he talks to and I think they were giving me info that made the
spread too small.  I decided on 6 points.  After I told him the spread was
6 points he laughed, rolled on the floor, pointing at me and saying he
would have given me 10.  I hate him.  So, he took the Patriots and gave me
the Giants and six.  The winner of this bet was going to get the next
Saturday (24 hours) of all the sex he wanted.

I can't tell you what he's like when he thinks he's made a fool out of me.
He was dancing around and humping the air.  He kept grabbing my ass and
saying it was his.  (Like he doesn't get it whenever he wants it anyway.)
He just loves thinking he owns me.  The idiot kept telling me what he was
going to make me do.

Also, on the spread bet, was the prize of whatever the winner wanted after
the game.  A one shot deal.

The other bet was a straight out, pick a team bet.  Of course, he picked
the Patriots.  This bet was about cleaning the apartment for a week.  He
added that it had to be when the other person was home and it had to be in
the nude.  I'm not sure why he added that because we often hang out in the
apartment in the nude.  He told me that he was going to get me a little
French maid's apron.  I laughed a lot.  He said he was serious and that I'd
have to be naked and wear whatever he wanted me to wear.  It was like he
won the bet already.

So, we headed down.  We got ourselves a drink and a seat.  Nick is in
heaven.  The only thing better could have been if he was able to watch it
in the nude.  Well, maybe for him to be at the game and in the nude.
Needless to say, he was calling my cousin Kenny.

The game started.  They tossed the coin.  The Giants won the toss.  I
yelled, "Yes."

He poked me and said, "The coin toss doesn't determine the winner.  They
have to play the game.  It's just like college ball," and chuckled and
pointed at me.

I said, "Asshole!  I had a dream last night.  In the dream the team that
won the coin toss won the super bowl."  I lied, but I thought I'd psych him
out.

He looked at me.  "Yeah, right."  He looked at me again.  "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did.  The Giants are going to win."

He laughed, "You are so full of shit."  He looked away.

I said, "I'm serious.  I had this dream."

He stared at me.  "You better not jinx this."

I laughed.  "Jinx it.  I've got the Giants on both bets.  I'm not jinxing
anything."

Well, for all of you who watched the game you know how it went and you must
know what my cute, Patriots loving, hot and horny life-partner was like
throughout the game.  I sat quietly.  He was not a happy camper.  By the
end of the game, he knew he couldn't win the spread bet, but he desperately
wanted the Patriots to win.  They did not.

Nick was on the phone with Kenny when the game ended.  Kenny knew of our
bet.  Kenny asked to talk to me.  I said, "Hi."

Kenny laughed.  He said, "You should go on line a get one of those aprons
for him."

I said, "That wouldn't faze him.  Cleaning the apartment is going to kill
him and he has to do the laundry, too."  Nick flipped me off.

We went to the room.  He wouldn't even look at me in the elevator.

We walked the hall to our room.  I grabbed his ass and said, "This is all
mine," and laughed.

He kept shaking his head and saying, "You jinx the whole game with that
fuckin' dream of yours.  It isn't fair."

LOL.  LOL.  LOL.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  I said, "I didn't
have a dream, I was just kidding," when we got into the room.

He jumped on me, pushing me onto the bed.  "Fuck, that's even worse.  You
said that to freak me out and it worked.  They lost because you said that."

I kept laughing.

He tickled me and said, "I think we should at least call off the apartment
cleaning part of the bet."

I about peed my pants I was laughing so hard.  "You're fine with me owning
your ass next Saturday, but not cleaning the apartment."

He smiled and said, "Don't forget now, too."  He was on top of me and
biting my neck.  "What are you going to do to me, big boy."

I laughed and said, "Do you remember what you said you were going to have
me do when we got back to the room?"

He said, "That's not fair, I can't do that."

"Get naked, boy toy," I said, smiling at him.  He was still on top of me.

Nick has this fascination, or maybe he knows that I don't really enjoy it,
and he asks me to do it, to tweak me.  When we make BIG bets like this, he
takes as part of his winning, watching me curling up in a ball and sucking
my own dick until I cum in my mouth (I have to use my hand to cum).  He
gets a BIG thrill out of watching.  So, after we made the spread bet and he
structured the win as something after the game and 24 hours the next week,
he told me that I was going to have to do a self suck for him.  He was so
confident.

This time he told me that not only was I going to blow myself, but that he
was going to be ready to pop his load after I came and it was going to be
in my mouth.  He was all smiled BEFORE THE GAME.

"This isn't fair," Nick said.  "I can't suck myself.  What's the thrill for
you?  Watching me jerk off with my legs over my head?"

"I'm getting hard just thinking about it," I said.  "And I'm going to be
ready to `pop a load' right after you cum, so keep your mouth open."  He
kept shaking his head and smiling as he began to undress.  Of course, when
he pulled down his pants, his hard dick popped out.  I said, "Looks like
you're up for this," and laughed.

He smiled.  "You are such a butt."

I pulled off my pants, pointed my hard dick at him and said, "Curl up and
jerk, boy toy."

Nick said, "Can't I suck your dick will I jerk off."

"No, I'm just going to stroke my dick and watch you."

He smiled.  "How about if I jerk off in a glass and drink it.  That's
better."

"Curl up."

"How about this.  I'll jerk off in a glass and then you can cum in it too,
and I'll drink it."

"Hey, that's a great idea," I said and smiled, "for next week.  I'll
remember that.  Curl up."

He laughed, "Asshole."  He lay on the bed, rolled his legs over his head,
hooked his feet into the head board, got his cock over his face and started
stroking.  "This isn't very comfortable and it's hard to cum in this
position."

"Tell me about it.  Just kept stroking."

He chuckled.  "You know it's not that I mind doing this so much, it's that
you won the fuckin' bet.  I hate you."

I laughed, "Shut up and stroke."

"Can I just lay flat until I get close?  I'm never going to get there like
this."

I said, "Okay."  I know I've said this before, but he is so fuckin' hot.
In my eyes, he's extremely attractive and he has a wonderful body and the
perfect cock.  I lay beside him and realized that I don't get to see him
like this often.  We are always all over each other.  It's been a while
since I've watched him jerk off.  I only time I see him jerking off is when
I'm fucking him.  He had me ready to cum.

I said, "I forgot how hot you look when you jerk off.  You really are hot."

He was watching me jerk off.  He said, "Kiss me."  I did.  "Please let me
suck your dick."

"I'm close," I said.

"Just put your dick in my mouth, please.  I want you."

I got up on my knees and leaned over him.  I put my dick to his mouth.  He
took it in and began gently sucking as he moaned.  I reach down and played
with his balls.  Suddenly, my dick came out of his mouth.  He rolled up.  I
lay down again.  He stroked hard.  I stroked hard.  Cum started shooting
out of his dick.  Most went into his mouth.  Some went on his face.  His
legs went down.  His mouth was still open.  He looked at me.  I jumped up,
gave my dick on final stroke and put it in his mouth.

He moaned as I shot my load.  He swallowed.

I lay down on top of him and kissed him.  We held each other.  I said, "I
love you, even though you're a bad loser."

We laughed.

We drove home on Monday after skiing the morning.  On the way home, Nick
tried to bargain out of cleaning the apartment.  I held my ground.

When we got home, he undressed and started cleaning.  It was a sight to
see.  What we agreed upon was that each day he'd really clean another room.
He decided on the living room on Monday.  I sat and worked on MRN at the
dinning room table while he cleaned, dusted and vacuumed.  Like I said, he
loves being naked, but he hates cleaning, especially when I'd say, `you
missed a spot', and then laugh.

Tuesday night he did the kitchen.  I had him do it in a jockstrap.  Once
again, I forgot how hot he looks in one.  He has a nice package and it
looks good tightly packed.  Wednesday was the bedroom and it was also
laundry night.  He did all the sheets and all our laundry.  He'd have to
get dressed each time he would go downstairs to the laundry room and then
get naked at the door when he came back.  Thursday was the dreaded
bathroom.  He hates cleaning the bathroom.  Oh yeah, I went to one of those
adult stores and I bought him cock ring.  He loves it.  He wasn't too happy
about cleaning the bathroom with it on.  Again, it's the cleaning part that
bothers him.

My 24 hours started at midnight Friday night.  He wanted to have sex
earlier in the evening but I refused, with a big smile on my face.  At
midnight, I smiled at him and said, "You're all mine."

He shrugged and said, "Do your best," and laughed.

I said, "I want a massage, nice and slow.  You know how I like it."

"Yeah, and?" he asked.

"I want a nice blow job.  You know, licking and sucking."

He chuckled.  He went to the bathroom to get the massage oil.  I lay on my
stomach and began to massage me.  He worked my shoulders and my upper back
and moved his hand down my spine and then ran his fingers down the crack of
my ass.  My dick started to get hard.  He'd start at my shoulders again,
work my back, my butt and then move his fingers over the crack of my ass
and push slightly into my hole.  I'd arch my back for him.  He'd run his
hang down between my legs and touch my balls.  I was hard.

He started at my feet, worked up my calves and thighs and then over my
butt, my hole, to my balls and dick.  I moaned.

I began to get this sensation that my body was floating above the bed as he
ran his fingers over my back and legs.

He pulled my checks apart and with his tongue worked my hole.  I was so
turned on, I was breathing hard and deep.

He lay down on top of me and ran his erection over the crack of my ass and
would hesitate over my hole and gently push.  This is usually where I beg
him to fuck me, but I didn't.  He moved so that his dick went between my
legs and pushed against my ball sac.  He held me tightly, licking my neck
and ear.

He rolled me over and sat on my hips.  He massaged my chest, my arms, my
abs, pushing hard into my muscles and then gently running his fingers over
my skin.  He moved to my legs.  I could feel myself leaking pre-cum.  He
rubbed my legs and then ran a finger over my ball sac and very lightly over
the shaft of my dick.  It was throbbing.

He had been massaging me for almost an hour.

He straddled my legs, took hold of my cock and began licking it.  My entire
body was responding and he knew it.  He licked the head of my dick and then
began slowly moving me deep into his mouth.  As he continued gently sucking
and licking, he played with my balls.  As I got closer, he moved a hand
between my legs and worked two fingers into my ass.  I was moaning and
squirming.

I moaned loudly as I got close.  My body was shaking and my legs became
rigid.  I tried to thrust into his mouth, but he held my hips down.  He
moaned as he sucked me hard.

I grunted loudly, very loudly as I began to climax.  As I started cumming,
Nick sucked harder, moving faster on my dick.  I could feel him swallowing
each shot of my cum as he suck it down.

The sound of my breathing filled the room as Nick gently ran his fingers
over my still throbbing erection.  Each time he touched the head of my
dick, my body shook and I laughed.  It took me a long time to come down off
my climax.  He held me while I did.

He whispered, "I'm good, aren't I?"

I smiled at him and said, "You're the best cocksucker I've ever had."  I
put my arm around him, kissed him and said, "I love you."

He said, "I love you, too."

I said, "Good night."

He lay there.  I tried to keep a straight face.  We never leave the other
unsatisfied.  He started laughing.  He said, "Okay, I'll just jerk off."
He took hold of his dick and started jerking off.

I stopped him and said, "That cock is mine for the next 23 hours, and I'm
feeling too tired to cum."

He laughed.  Then he started laughing harder.  "You are such a dick.  I
won't be able to sleep like this."

I kissed him again, laughed and said, "We'll take care of that in the
morning."

He looked at me and smiled.  He said, "You are going to suffer so badly
when I win the next bet."

I said, "Next year, boy toy."

We went to sleep.

Nick woke me with my usual cup of coffee.  I looked in it and said, "Did
you jerk off in it?"

He laughed.  "Don't think I didn't think about it."

I smiled as I drank my coffee, noticing that Nick had an erection.  I
finished my coffee and nuzzled up to him.  He was reading and was not
semi-hard.  I began to run my fingers over his cock.  It responded
immediately.  He put down his book and said, "You're not going to NOT let
me cum all day, are you?"

I chuckled.  I kept running my fingers over his dick.  I sat up and smiled
at him and said, "I haven't jerked you off in a while."

He smiled.  "Do I get to cum?"

I shrugged, smiled and started stroking his dick.  He put his hands behind
his head and watched as I slowly played with his dick.  I had a hard on by
now.  I continued to play with his cock.  It is beautiful.  He had two nice
sized balls packed away in his clean shaven scrotum and they were dancing
around.  I ran my fingers over his cock head and watched as a bead of
pre-cum gathered.  I squeezed it out and licked my finger.  I could tell he
was getting close.

I pulled his legs up to his chest.  He smiled at me.  I began playing with
his butt hole.  I let my spit drop onto his hole.  Using my finger, I
spread it around, pushing my finger into him.  I looked at him, smiled and
wet my dick.  He laughed.  I moved over him and put my dick head against
his hole.  I slowly pushed into him.  He moaned.

He wrapped his legs around me and as I lay down on him we embraced.  I
began fucking him.  We were both fucking and moaning and grunting loudly.
"Fuck," I said, "I love fucking you."  I continued pushing hard and fast
into him.  Getting close, I bit down on his shoulder and groaned.  He held
me, kissed me and kept stroking my back as I came.

Breathing hard, I collapsed on top of him.  He was still hard.  I kissed
him as I pulled out of him.  He smiled at me and said, "This is cruel."

We showered together.  He was hard most of the time.  We had errands to
run.  We always do our food shopping on Saturdays.  After that we went out
for lunch.  He kept reminding me that his balls were hurting.

When we got back to the apartment I told him to undress.  I undressed.  I
sat on the sofa and told him to suck my dick.  He did.  Again, he was hard.
I turned around, lay down on the sofa and told him to fuck me.  He was in
me in seconds.  As he started fucking me, I said, "When you cum, don't pull
out."

He seemed pretty intent on cumming before I changed my mind.  He was lying
down on me so that our bodies were in full contact.  He had his arms under
mine and was holding onto my shoulders.  We were both grunting loudly.  He
began what I have come to know as his final assault.  He makes these long
hard thrusts, almost coming out of my ass, and then pushes in and then
makes short hard thrusts.  He was pounding hard and groaning.

I felt his final push and heard him grunt.  I could feel him cumming.  "Oh
fuck, Oh fuck, damn your ass is incredible," he moaned, pushing hard and
deep.  His body was shaking.

Finally, he seemed to relax, but his breathing was continued to be loud.

We lay with him on top of me for a while.  I said, "Don't pull out."  He
nodded.  He began kissing my neck and shoulder.  I said, "You can't pull
out until you cum again."

He began to laugh.  "I'm not 16 and I'm not Brad."

I said, "Oh okay, if you don't think you're up for it."

He laughed.  "Okay, you got it."  He began making short thrusts into me.
He laughed.  He said, "I'm still pretty sensitive."

"Always with the excuses," I said and smiled.

He started short thrusts again.

I chuckled and said, "Don't I turn you on, anymore?"

He laughed.  "Actually, I think this is fuckin' hot.  You're going to have
to try this."

I said, "I've already cum today."

"I guess you're not 16 either," he said and chuckled.  I laughed.  We lay
on the sofa, him on top of me, for about ten minutes.  "I thought you were
going to make me go the whole time without cumming."  I laughed.  I loved
being under him with his pelvis pressed hard into my butt.

I said, "I couldn't be that mean to you."

He chuckled and said, "I know."

I said, "I love being under you."  He glanced at me.  I glanced at him.
"It makes me feel safe and secure."  He held me tighter.  "I love you,
Nickie.  Don't ever go away."

"Shut up or your going to make me cry and I'll lose my hard on."  We both
chuckled.  He said, "Can't we change positions so that I'm facing you?"

"No, I want to be under you like this," I said.

He begged.  "Please, I want to see you, not the back of your head."

"Are you hard?"

"Oh that's real nice," he said and bit me.

"No, I can feel you inside me, but I mean can we turn around without you
coming out?"

"Just move slowly, and yes, I'm hard.  And you're about to get fucked good
and hard."

We slowly maneuvered so that now he was on top of me but we were face to
face with my legs to my chest.  We kissed and he fucked me.  It was hard,
wet, noisy and very hot.  He always does a good job.

We showered.  After the shower, we went to bed where he gave me a wonderful
blow job and we both feel asleep.

We went out to dinner that night.  We usually don't eat out much, but we
decided we didn't want to cook.  We then decided we wanted to see a movie,
which we usually don't do on Saturday nights.  After the movie he bought me
ice cream.  Yes, ice cream on a cold winter's night.

When we got back to the apartment, Nick pulled me into the bedroom.  He
pushed me onto the bed.  I said, "Hey, it's my 24 hours."

He began taking off his clothes and said, "I know what you want.  Get
undressed."

I lay down on the bed and watched him undress.  When he was naked, he stood
over the bed and smiled.  He untied my shoes, pulled them off; he pulled
off my socks and then the rest of my clothes.  He got out the massage oil.
I rolled over.

He gave me the massage he had the night before, except after probing my
butt hole with his tongue, he lay down on top of me and slowly pushed his
dick deep into me.  He held me tightly and fucked me.  My dick was rock
hard.

After he came, he rolled me over, massaged my chest and legs and then gave
me another incredible blow job.  When I cum, he makes gets me thrashing
around on the bed.

We held each other and feel asleep.

I know you all know how lucky I am.  I want you to all know that I know how
lucky I am.  My talks with Matt and Billy kept bouncing around in my head.
I remember those lonely days of doubt and struggle and confusion.  I
remember the fears of being alone.  Talking to each of them, only reminded
me of how lucky I am.

I'm not romanticizing my relationship with Nick.  I'm difficult to be with
and at times, and so is Nick.  But, I think that's okay with each of us. I
know the next few years will test us, but we are committed to get though
this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I know it is long, and I know
I get wordy, but that's me.  I'll try to get back to MRN sometime before
the summer starts and let you all know how things are going.  Be well.



Hey, this is Nick.  I'm not going to read through what he wrote.  I know
what happened.  I see he didn't include Valentine's Day.  I was TA'ing a
class of mine when the door opened and this guy walked into my room and
said, "I'm looking for Nick."  Everyone in the class looked at him.  He had
two dozen roses in his arms.

I turned bright red.  Everyone smiled and looked at me and then pointed.
This guy walked up to me and said, "They are sent to you with love."  I big
knot grabbed my throat.  My eyes welled up with tears.  I took the roses
and nodded.  Then he reached into his pouch and pulled out a heart box
filled with five pounds of chocolate.  Have you ever seen five pounds of
chocolate?

He said, "Happy Valentine's Day," turned and walked out of the room.

All my students started applauding for some reason.

Everyone in my department knows that I am gay and knows Jeff.  He's been to
all the departmental functions with me.  So, all the other grad students
know him.  Jeff told them what he was going to do, so they all gathered
outside the classroom.  Jeff was with them.  After the guy left, the door
opened again and they all filed in and they all applauded and pointed and
laughed.  I guess I was bright red.

Jeff hung back and just smiled at me.  I walked over to Jeff and pulled him
from the group and said to my class, "This is my life-partner Jeff.  He's
responsible for all of this."

One of my friends, a grad student said, "Open the candy and pass it
around."  That's what we did.  After about fifteen minutes they all left.

My class was full of questions.  Isn't he the English TA?  How long have
you been together?  How did you meet?  Do your parents and his parents
know?  How did that go?

When class was over, I opened the candy again and invited them to take
another piece.  What was interesting to me was who, after taking a piece of
candy, hung around and who left.  Almost all the guys, except for two
stayed and most of the girls except for three left.  One of the guys had
had Jeff as a TA a couple of years ago.  He went on about Jeff, telling the
rest of them what he remembered about him.  Finally, everyone left.

One of the guys asked if I needed help getting back to my office.  I did.
I asked him to carry the roses but he smiled and said no.  He carried my
books for me.  I carried this big heart and the roses.  I felt like a
complete idiot walking down the hall, outside and to my office.

For Valentine's Day, I made Jeff dinner, which I had planned a week before.
I had to talk to his mother about how do make some of it.

Well, that's it from me.  I usually like to read what he writes to see if
he's made me out to be a bad boy, but I'm too busy.

Later.


Hi, it's Jeff.  go giants.  lol