Date: Wed, 31 Oct 2007 06:27:57 +0000 From: Chris Salter Subject: How I Met Jake: Chapter 33 If you're under the legal age, it's illegal in your area or homosexuality offends, leave now. Disclaimer: I don't claim to know Jake Gyllenhaal, nor his sexuality, relationship status or sexual preferences. This work is entirely fiction. Chapter 33: "Argh!" Chris groaned as the feeling of a warm tongue began licking his ear. "Stop it, it tickles!" Leaning over to playfully push Jake away, Chris opened his eyes and suddenly realized it was Boo Radley licking him, not Jake. Sighing from his sudden realization, Chris pulled the dog onto his chest and gently ruffled his ears. "I suppose you're almost as adorable as Jake. Good morning baby." After playing with Boo Radley for a short while longer, Chris noticed a worried look on his face. "Come on baby, I'll take you out." Peeling himself out of the bed, Chris gently padded his way over to the door and quietly opened it. He then noticed Michael was still sleeping, so as an attempt to be stealthy, Chris picked up Boo Radley and shuffled his way to the door. After picking his keys and wallet up, he then headed out the door and padded his way down the stairs towards the grassed area dressed only in his pajama pants. After letting Boo Radley do his business on the grass, Chris then picked up the dog and kissed him on the top of his head. "I love you, you cute little thing!" Chris whispered as he then padded his way towards the gate. After pulling the gate open, he then padded down the street towards the newspaper stand. Not caring that he was wearing only pajama bottoms, Chris strutted his way down the street and his wallet and keys in one hand, and Boo Radley snuggling into his body in the other arm. Newspaper and magazine purchases in hand, Chris then padded his way back to the apartment. Heading back up the stairs and reaching the door, he placed Boo Radley on the ground and fumbled with the keys. Pushing the door open, Chris allowed the dog to trot through before he quietly closed the door, to not wake Michael up. "You actually went out dressed like that?" Michael asked in a groggy tone. "That's so adorable." Chris smiled as he padded over to the dining table and threw the purchases on the surface, before turning back to Michael. "It's became our little ritual lately." Looking down at the dog, Chris grabbed him and picked him up. "We've been going for a little walk, and then buying the newspaper. They're really not that shocked seeing my pajamas anymore." Sitting up, Michael continued to admire Chris' smooth back. "So what's the plan for the day then?" He wanted to ask Chris about his previous discovery, but at the same time, he knew he shouldn't have been snooping around. "I dunno, maybe do breakfast somewhere then if you want to help me find a new bed." Chris replied. "Then after that we can do something fun I guess. How's your credit limit?" Michael smirked, "It's okay, why?" Chris shrugged and quickly skipped through the magazine to try to find red carpet photos of Jake. Only able to find a few tiny photos, he closed it and looked back at Michael, "When was the last time you did Rodeo Drive?" "I've never been actually. I rarely come up this way actually." Michael conceded. Making his way to the kitchen to grab some food for the animals, Chris turned his head again, "Go get ready, then we can go out." Michael stood up, grabbed some clothing from his bag and then padded his way to the bathroom, leaving Chris alone with the two pets. As Chris finished with the animals, he then padded his way back to the bedroom. As he passed the phone, it suddenly began ringing. Immediately picking it up, Chris answered, "Hello?" "Did my boy behave last night?" Chris smiled, "Who, me or Boo Radley?" "Boo Radley is a good boy, you, I'm not too sure about. Did you behave?" Making his way into the bedroom, Chris closed the door and headed into the wardrobe. "Of course I did. The only things I hugged last night were your pillow and your dog." He then grabbed a pair of underwear from the shelf and dropped trou. "I got you email last night, and now I'm naked." "Urgh," Jake groaned. "Now that just makes me want to be there even more." He was silent for a few moments before he loudly shouted down the phone, "I MISS YOU!" Tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder, Chris pulled on the underwear. "Now I'm wearing underwear. But I really miss you. Do you mind if I go to your house today?" "Why would I have a problem with that?" "I don't know, Michael will be with me. But he still doesn't know about you." Chris replied. "I want to steal some of your things so I hold you close to me at night." "That's so cute." Jake responded in a playful tone. "Sure, steal whatever you want to." Grabbing a pair of Jakes jeans, he slipped them on and fixed the buttons. He then padded around towards the bathroom. "Thanks, I just miss you so much." He replied as he picked up his toothbrush and the toothpaste. Sticking it in his mouth, he continued to brush while holding the phone conversation with Jake. "So what did you win me last night?" With a mouthful of toothpaste, Chris mumbled, "Some stuffed panda thing, a few crappy toys and this cute camel toy thing.... It made me think of you." "Something to do with me and humps?" Chris spat the toothpaste out with laughter, "No you fool. It has a cute and adorable smile, and it looks completely dorky." "I'm touched." Jake responded in a playfully cold tone. "Oh, did I tell you?" Chris responded as he looked in the mirror. "I got a hair cut the other day. I no longer look like a crazy person." Jake sighed, "Awww, I was liking your hair like that. But I'm sure you're cute no matter what." After being silent for a short while longer, he continued, "Well, I'd better let you go. I got some stuff to do, then I'm going down to New York." Holding the phone away from his mouth for a moment, Chris rinsed his mouth and explained, "You should go see Danny while you're there, he still wants to buy you a drink." Suddenly he realized Jake was ending the call, "Okay, I will speak to you later okay?" "I'll call you as soon as I'm free. I love you Chris." "I love you too Jake," Chris replied before saying his goodbyes and ended the call. Not wanting to deal with his hair today, Chris then padded back into the wardrobe and grabbed a white t-shirt and one of Jakes baseball caps. He always loved the idea of wearing his boyfriend's clothes, and vice versa. He regaled in the fact that Jake was strutting around Toronto with small collection of his wardrobe. After slipping into a pair of socks and white shoes, Chris then waddled his way back out into the living room. Michael, who was sitting on the couch, looked up and smiled at Chris. "You took your time." "Sorry!" Chris apologized. "Jake called me, I got kinda distracted." Grabbing his belongings, he then looked back at Michael, "So you ready to go?" "When you are." Michael replied eagerly. Shoving everything into his pocket, Chris directed Michael to the door, "Do you mind if we go bed shopping first?" He then held the door open for Michael, "If I buy one early enough, they can probably deliver it by today, which means no more couch for you." Michael smiled and followed Chris down the steps, "Yay! I get to sleep in your bed." He then looked sheepishly at Chris, who was glaring at him. "Sorry." ******* *************************************************************** "This is where Jake lives?!" Michael exclaimed as Chris waited for the gates to open. Chris tried to think of an excuse as to why his Jake would live in a house so big; however, he was only able to come up with a fairly lame excuse. "It was his parents' house, he inherited it." Looking away from Chris, Michael rolled his eyes and wondered how long Chris was going to keep up the excuses. Pulling up at the bottom of the large steps, Chris switched the engine off and jumped out of the car. "Come on, you can help me steal some of his stuff." He then turned to explain, "I'm secretly relocating his house into my apartment, piece by piece." Michael laughed and followed Chris up the stairs towards the large door. "Does he mind that you're stealing from him?" "He knows," Chris replied as he began fumbling with the lock. Finally able to unlock it, he pushed the door open and raced over to the alarm system, disarming it. "I asked him if I could steal some of his stuff, I really just want things that smell like him. Sounds tragic doesn't it?" "Not really," Michael conceded. "I used to do the same with Blaise." Leading Michael up the staircase, Chris enquired, "Was that you ex?" Leading him across the landing, Chris pushed the bedroom door open and allowed him to enter. "Yeah, we broke up about 6 months ago." "What happened?" Chris asked. "Who broke up with who?" Sighing and sitting on the comfortable bed, Michael looked around the expansive bedroom. On the chest of draws was a small bag and box. There were also a couple of photographs around the room of Jake with various friends. "He dumped me actually, but I'm not that sad about it." He watched Chris dart into the wardrobe before yelling out, "So when are you going to tell me who Jake really is?" Chris stared at the wall behind the clothing rack he was rifling through. He didn't know how to respond to it. Throwing the blue sweater over his shoulder, Chris stuck his head out of the wardrobe, "What do you mean?" "Look, I know who Jake is." Michael explained. "I mean look around, there's photos of him everywhere." He stood up and walking towards Chris, continued his rant, "I accidentally found your study last night." Slightly irate at Michaels snooping, Chris tried to compose himself, "You accidentally found my study, but found it necessary to poke around?" "I'm really sorry Chris; I didn't mean to make you mad." Michael defended. "Why did you want to keep it a secret from me?" Sitting down on the bed, Chris shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't want you to think any different of me." Looking over at Michael, he continued. "It's not something I tell just anyone. I don't want the attention, and I don't want to be treated any different." Sighing deeply, Chris leaned back on the comfortable bed and pulled Jakes pillow close to his chest. "I love Jake, and he loves me, that's all that matters. Are you going to tell everyone now?" "Nope, not at all." Michael replied. "It's absolutely adorable." Placing his hand on Chris', Michael continued speaking, "It just means whatever chance I had with you is now gone completely." Chris smiled weakly as he sat up on the bed. Quickly he leaned over and kissed Michael on the cheek, "You're sweet." Noticing Michael was still holding his hand; Chris gently slid it away and looked around. "This looks so suspicious, sitting on my boyfriend's bed and all." "I'm not going to pounce on you," Michael whispered softly. "I like you a lot, but I'm not going to break you up." Looking down at the ring on Chris' hand, he asked, "So Jake gave you that?" Holding the ringed finger with his other hand Chris smiled and gently pulled it off, handing it to Michael. "He gave it to me a short while ago, he's got one that he wears too. We even have matching inscriptions." Examining the ring, Michael admired the inscription. "What does it mean?" "The day I met him, I drove him back to his car." Chris explained. "That was the first song that was playing, apparently that was the moment he fell for me." "It's sweet," Michael smiled. "Who's it by?" Chris beamed with pride as he thought of Jake tracking the band down. "Blue Caf‚, they're pretty unknown outside of Poland. But I love them." Sitting up further, he then made his way off the bed and headed back into the wardrobe. "I'm just going to steal some more clothes, the some other things, then we'd better get back to my place." Following Chris, Michael handed the ring back to him and admired Jakes wardrobe. Even though he had permission to be there with Chris, he still felt naughty snooping through Jake Gyllenhaal's wardrobe. **** ******************************************************************* After spending the early part of the afternoon relocating Chris' old bed into the spare room, both Michael and Chris rested on the mattress few an hour or so, trying to regain some strength. Hearing the intercom buzzing, Chris peeled himself off the bed and towards the system. Pressing the button, Chris spoke into the wall, "Hello?" "It's Matt from VIP we're here to deliver your bed." Chris jumped for joy. "Okay, I'll be right down." Grabbing his keys, he yelled out to Michael that he'd be back shortly before heading down the stairs to assist the delivery men with the bed. About an hour later, the bed was properly set up and the extra men were out of the building. Calling Michael into the room, Chris then set to it to make the new dark brown bed look even more inviting for Jake by accessorizing it with new sheets, pillows and a contrasting bedspread. Remembering Jakes scent was still on his pillow; Chris then darted back into the spare bedroom and rescued the pillow. "I need to have him with me." Chris commented as he threw the pillow on the bed. "When does he get back?" Michael enquired as he sat down gingerly on the bed. "I think you should plan some kind of party for his return." Chris smiled, "Maybe, you just want to meet him, don't you?" Flopping on the bed next to Michael, he turned his head, "He gets back in a few weeks." "You should definitely do something then." Standing up, Chris pulled Michael to his feet, "Maybe I will, but right now I want food." Following Chris, Michael replied with a playful tone, "You just ate." "I'm a pig remember," Chris responded curtly. "I'm always hungry when I shouldn't be, and not hungry when I should be." "Okay then." Michael smiled. "What are we making then?" Wandering into the kitchen, Chris looked around for a few minutes trying to decide what he wanted to eat. After his busy day, combined with whatever it was he had, he was getting sicker by the minute, but wasn't about to let his guard down in front of Michael. Finally, he decided on comfort food, "I think we should make cookies, and a lot of them." Michael beamed with joy, "Sounds good to me!" --- 34 soon --- Yay no cliffhanger! Well, I hope you liked that. Finally found out what Michael did, or have we? Time will tell. Sorry there wasn't much Jake in it though. I'm keeping them apart for a bit longer! LOVE you guys, and I love hearing from you. Drop me a line at chezmoi_ou_cheztoi@msn.com, I usually respond fairly quickly, assuming I'm not at class, sleeping or attempting a social life. Oh, and not building Ikea furniture. Don't forget to check out http://groups.msn.com/HowIMetJakeCafe if you want! Thanks guys! Chris