Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 23:20:15 -0700 From: christopher. Subject: breaking through part 36 Usual disclaimers apply, this is all fiction. No implications are made about the celebrities mentioned. This is intended for adults, so if you're not allowed to read this, don't do it. Author's Note: head on over to the Gyllenhaal Chronicles site for the latest on this story and the other Jake stories on Nifty. It's a great place and I'm really grateful for all the people I've met there. Sign up at http://groups.msn.com/TheGyllenhaalChronicles/_whatsnew. Sorry for the tardiness of this installment. I hope it's worth it. Part XXXVI "I'm cold," Chris muttered, the sound muffled by the pillow as he blindly groped for the down comforter that had been covering him. He could feel a chilly shudder rock through him from the tips of his toes right up to his ears. "You're burning up," Jake said, voice soft as he ran the back of his hand over Chris' forehead. "No, I'm really cold," Chris said, voice low and his body curling into a ball to keep the warmth in. "Come on, you've got to get better," Jake said, eyes glancing out the window. The sun was bright and yellow, illuminating everything with a golden light. Another muffled groan was Jake's only answer. Jake tossed the down comforter on the overstuffed armchair and went over to dig the cashmere throw out from under it. He lay it gently onto Chris, leaning down to kiss his warm forehead, "Yell if you need anything. I'm not going anywhere." Shutting the door behind him, Jake leaned back against it for just a second, letting out a long breath. He ran his hands over his face as he walked down the hall, listening for anyone in the unfamiliar surroundings. He mentally checked off everything he had to do: there was soup in the refrigerator, medicine somewhere, and two days. Chris didn't seem to be getting any better, but on the other hand, he wasn't getting any worse. Jake had been taking a lot of walks, with and without the dogs, his mind starting to wander just as much as his feet. "Mind if I get out there with you today?" Jake heard. Peter had spent most of the time here reading, practically reveling in the free time. Every time Jake saw him, he was sprawled out across something nose buried in a different book. "You got your shoes?" Jake asked, leaning against the wall. "He's still sick?" Jake nodded, scratching the back of his head. "Nothing some rest won't fix," Peter said, "let me get my shoes on and we'll get out there." Jake's eyes focused on the horizon, rolling hills green and lush, the sounds of his shoes crunching on the ground mixing with the steady breathing coming form his and Peter's mouth the only things breaking the serene solitude. "Excited?" Peter asked between heavy breaths. "Nervous," Jake said, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I was too," Peter said, "but you shouldn't be. You guys are good. I love when you're loving each other." He let out a few heavy breaths before continuing, "You break my heart when you're not." Jake felt a shudder run through him. It was weird to know that other people felt the same way that he did. Chris was everything to him, but he never stopped to think that he and Chris meant something to anyone else. Sure, he knew, but he'd never thought that anyone looked at them like that. "It's true," Peter said, "breaks my heart. Can we stop for a second?" His breathing was heavy as he leaned down, resting his hands on his knees. "Can't keep up?" Jake asked, smiling as he shook his head. "Babies cut in on time at the gym," Peter said, his voice playful, "you just wait. Married life isn't all fun and games." "Fun and games?" Jake said, brows furrowing, "is that what we've been going through?" "Point taken," Peter said, eyes focusing on the horizon, "man, it's gorgeous here." "It's everything we wanted," Jake said, eyes scanning the same landscape, the colors, the smells, the sounds all coming together, "I could stay here forever." *** Groaning, Chris splashed some water on his face before drawing his soft bathrobe around himself, sending the last shivers of cold out of his body. He looked at himself closer in the mirror and winced. He looked better than yesterday, but that wasn't saying much at all. Running his fingers through his hair, he yawned as he walked out into the hall, hoping to find Jake somewhere in the house. Padding down the stairs, he saw Atticus and Boo napping on the sofa, their dog beds completely ignored as they basked in the early morning sunbeams. He ran his fingers through Atticus' coarse hair as he walked by, another yawn falling from his lips. Stretching his arms above his head, Chris spotted Jake in the kitchen, foot bent up to scratch his leg as he leaned over the counter, eyes pouring over the crossword puzzle. "That's mine," Chris said, voice coming out drowsier than he thought he'd sound. "Eight letter word for recluse," Jake said, eyebrow raised. He motioned Chris over and pulled him into a hug, his nose nuzzling into Chris' messy hair. "I'm not a recluse," Chris said, voice muffled in Jake's chest, "I was sick. Dying." Shushing him, Jake held him tight, feeling the warmth spread through himself as Chris' body practically melted into him. Chris groaned softly at the comfort, slowly moving his fingers across Jake's strong back. "Feel better?" Jake whispered, "I've missed you." Chris nodded, "I'm sick of being sick," he said, "I want to see everything I've been missing out on." "We've got time," Jake said, "you should take it easy. Can't have you groggy from your meds while you walk down that aisle with me." "Time?" Chris asked, pulling away, "when is everyone showing up? The day after tomorrow? Tomorrow?" "Whatever," Jake said, pulling Chris back into his arms, "this is about us, not them." "We flew them all out here, they'll want a wedding," Chris said, pressing his forehead to Jake's, "I want a wedding. I want to marry you." The words made Jake's face light up, "Let's get some coffee in you," he said, turning around. Chris pulled him back, lips grazing his ear as their cheeks rubbed together, "I'd rather have something else in me," he whispered, fingers tracing Jake's stomach, teeth nipping at Jake's earlobe. Chris heard his sharp intake of breath, the quick jolt that ran though his body. Jake hoisted him up onto the counter, lips nipping at Chris', eyes boring into Chris' one last time before he pushed their lips together hard, tongue instantly darting out against Chris', his hands pulling their bodies together. Breathy, Chris pulled back, lips red and glossy, pushing Jake's hair back before kissing his ear, lips trailing down to Jake's lips again as his legs pulled Jake tight against him, the deep groan that resonated through Jake's chest shook him, Jake's fingers pressing hard into his lower back. Panting, Chris felt Jake's fingers grip his hair, yanking his head back to gain access to his Adam's apple. Chris' fingers slid out of Jake's shirt and up onto his shoulder, Jake's hand deftly inching around Chris' waist and into his boxer shorts, shivers shooting up Chris' spine as Jake's fingertips grazed his cock, skimming over his sac to press hard right behind his tight balls. Chris tangled his fingers in Jake's hair, breathing already shallow and ragged. "Jake," he groaned, a smile coming to Jake's lips at the very sound of his name, "Jake..." there it was again, the same breathy, stretched out way it came from Chris' lips that made him melt. "Whoa there boys," Chris heard, his head snapping to the open doorway of the kitchen, his face flushed as he stared, slack-jawed at Maggie, an embarrassed grin on her own face, "save it for the honeymoon." Jake slumped against him, catching his breath, every exhale hot against Chris' skin as he blinked quickly, trying to find his bearings again, "Fuck," he groaned under his breath, his hand still pressing hard at Chris' perineum. Chris wasn't sure if Maggie left or not, his eyes slamming shut and his teeth biting into Jake's shoulder. "Get back upstairs," Jake grunted as Chris pulled away, running his hands over his face as he tried to focus his eyes again. He felt Jake pull him off the cool counter, his legs already shaky. Grinning, Jake pulled Chris' hand as the two stumbled upstairs, Chris pulling Jake tight against him, their bodies pressing together as he kissed him hard, hands running up Jake's strong back, fingers gripping Jake's thick hair. "Love you," Chris groaned, words muffled in Jake's neck. Jake pressed him against a wall, pinning his body hard, lips hungry on Chris', tongues sliding together as Jake's hands skimmed down Chris' sides, their hard cocks pressing through the thin fabric of their boxer shorts, "bed...room." Practically growling, Jake yanked himself away, breathing heavy already. He pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the ground Chris stepped forward, hands on Jake's stomach as he kissed him again, lips open just enough for Jake's tongue to slip inside. Jake grunted as he pulled Chris into their room, the door slamming shut behind the two of them, Chris pushed up against the door, Jake's fingers pulling his robe apart far enough for his mouth to connect to Chris' collarbone, a gasp falling from Chris' lips as he gripped shoulders, his eyes shut and his neck straining. Jake yanked the robe off entirely, Chris shivering at the sudden chill, their chests pressing together. Chris turned them around, Jake slamming himself on the door as Chris licked a hot stripe on his cheek from ear to jaw. Jake groaned, Chris kissing down his sternum, hands pulling Jake's boxers to the floor, hand stroking his cock as he licked his lips. Jake's fingers tangled in Chris' hair, pushing him down to his knees as his lips left a wet trail on Jake's skin. Groaning, Jake felt his whole body melt against the door as Chris' tongue flicked across the head of his dick, "Chris," he groaned, voice dropping an octave, "fucking get on it." Eyes rolling back, Jake pounded his head against the thick wood of the door, body tingling from head to toe as Chris dove down on his dick, his throat stretched around Jake's thick cock. His hand came up to roll Jake's balls in his fingers, pulling slightly, soft grunts shooting from Jake's mouth as Chris lapped at his dick, lips sucking at the spot right under the head of Jake's dick, his hand stroking up and down the length with slow steady motions. Chris groaned, throat vibrating around Jake's cock, another string of ripples shooting from his cock through the rest of his body. Jake's hands gripped Chris' scalp, fingers guiding Chris up and down, his hips thrusting slowly into the welcoming warmth of Chris' throat. Chris pulled off to suck on Jake's balls, Jake's hand instantly flying down to stroke himself, needing the continued stimulation, every pull bringing him closer and closer. Jake was grunting louder, every muscle in his chest flexing in hard relief as he thrust faster, Chris' lips and chin shiny with spit. Breathing heavily, Jake held Chris' head steady, feeling him gag slightly, muscles contracting, Chris' body struggling slightly against the intrusion. Jake let up slightly, but Chris went back down, hungry for the taste of Jake's cum on his tongue. Sucking on the head, Chris stroked the rest of Jake's cock, eyes open to see the flex of Jake's arms and chest, half-lidded at the most, his nostrils full of Jake's musky scent, head spinning. Jake froze, eyes shut tight, back of his head against the door as he shot, searing hot ribbons of cum spurting out onto Chris' tongue, Chris groaning as kept sucking, feeling Jake shake and shudder, tense and relax. His breathing was ragged, skin slick with sweat under Chris' hands as he got up to his feet, fingers running over Jake's tight stomach, chest hair damp as he pressed their lips together, bodies mashing against one another as Jake fell back to earth. "Jesus," Jake gasped, hands running down Chris' back, eyes glazed and mouth half-open, breaths heavy. Jake pulled Chris to the bed, lips on the back of his neck, tongue trailing down his spine as he pushed Chris forward, the both of them crawling onto the bed, Chris resting his forehead on his arms, Jake's tongue darting inside Chris' hole. "Fuck," Chris yelled, surprised as Jake's tongue went straight in and out, prodding as deep as it could go, Jake's hands spreading Chris' legs apart. Sheets between his teeth, Chris bit hard, eyes shut tight as Jake slid a finger in along with his tongue, tip of his finger crooking onto Chris' prostate, sending jolts up and down Chris' back. "Just do it," Chris gasped, "fuck me." "You're not...not ready," Jake said, voice gravelly and dry. "I don't care," Chris said, "just fuck me." Scooting up on the bed, Jake grabbed Chris' shoulder, his body shaking in anticipation as Jake slid the head of his cock in, both of them letting out a long, low groan. Chris' back was tight, Jake holding him by the hips as he pushed forward, a loud grunt coming from Chris' throat as Jake slid into him entirely, his hole stretched around Jake's thick cock, his whole body warm, beads of sweat dripping down arms, pooling on his back. Pain shot up through his body The sound of skin against skin mixed with their heavy gasps and grunts, Jake leaning down to bite Chris' neck softly, his arms wrapping around Chris' chest as he pulled him up, thrusts long and steady. Chris reached backwards, grabbing Jake's hair as they kissed again, his tongue darting out to meet Jake's. Gasping, Chris' body quaked as Jake slammed into him hard, the both of them shaking hard as Jake kept thrusting, Jake's hand wrapping around Chris' cock. Jake pulled out, Chris surprised to find himself being turned around, their lips connected as Jake fell back on the bed, his cock finding its way back into Chris' tight ass, his hands struggling to hold onto Chris' waist with every hard rise and fall. Chris leaned down to lap at his neck, fingers teasing Jake's nipples through downy chest hair, his legs flexing as he fucked himself on Jake's thick pole. "Slow it down," Jake groaned, "so close." Chris shook his head fervently, speeding up his motions, he was close too, felt orgasm rushing at him like a bullet train, his cock hard and dripping, pre-cum smattering between their heaving bodies. Jake's hand slid to Chris' hole, sending a shiver through Chris when he felt Jake's fingers there, one sliding up with his cock, Chris' mouth open in a silent groan, body frozen as Jake's finger tapped his prostate, his hole stretching to accommodate the new intrusion. Jake threw his head back, arching as Chris' chute tightened, squeezing him within its tight confines, his body already reaching sensation overload. Chris shuddered, felt the warmth spreading inside him as Jake shot, body quaking and rigid, every cord in his neck standing out, his hair streaked wet with sweat. Chris leaned down to kiss him and kept riding, struggling to keep it steady as Jake shot, his cock not losing any of its hardness, Jake pushing him forward and wrapping his legs around himself, thrusts hard and long, their slick bodies sliding together as Chris groaned, his body beyond his own control as Jake fucked him hard, recklessly slamming his dick in and out. Jake pressed their foreheads together, his face a mask of blissful concentration, fucking fluid and languid, Chris whimpering under him, eyes closed, fingers desperately clutching Jake's strong shoulders. "Cum for me," Jake grunted, "let me see." Chris reached for his cock, but Jake thrust hard, sending Chris' hand back to his shoulder, his back arching under Jake's heaving body, cock twitching, balls drawing up to his body. "Jake, just...a little," Chris whispered, his body tightening, ass clamping down on Jake's cock as he shot, thick spurts of cum flying between their bodies. Chris shuddered, his arms wrapped around Jake's neck as he kissed him desperately, Jake's thrusts relentless, the contractions of Chris' ass almost pulling another orgasm out of him. Jake slammed in one more time and came hard, their bodies collapsing as Jake's load spooled out inside of Chris, both of them gasping for air, not wanting to break the connection. "Don't..." Chris said, voice cracking, "just leave it in for a little." Jake nodded, pushing Chris' hair off his forehead. "Want to be like this forever," he whispered, "me and you." Chris let out a soft groan in response; his body still trying to register the sensation, sporadic quakes shooting up his body. Jake held him tight, sighing as they settled into each other's curves, bodies finding comfort in the closeness. Chris' steady breathing and slow heartbeat told Jake he was close to slumber. Jake pulled him a little closer, his soft dick finally sliding out, felt Chris shudder one more time before he kissed Chris' ear, "Make this last forever," he whispered, wishing that there really was a way to do it. *** Chris gripped Boo's leash tight as he walked slowly, Boo's quick, impatient trot pulling hard against him as he tried to take in everything. There was so much activity around him, two big tents being erected, the smell of flowers and greens perfuming the already fresh air, the muffled sounds of everything all coming together. Chris could hardly believe it was finally happening, but every second was bringing it closer and closer. He walked down a little further and stopped, dead in his tracks. He realized that he'd been walking straight down the path they'd be walking tomorrow. Smiling, he saw the chupah, ornately carved in light, almost white wood, sheer panels blowing softly in the slight breeze. He tugged on Boo's leash one more time, walking up to the little structure, fingers grazing all the tiny little carvings of leaves and branches. Jake's parents had picked it out and Chris didn't realize how detailed it would be, how the branches seemed to swirl and tangle, intertwining with flowers, leaves, birds, and little animals. Chris stepped back, Boo sniffing around the base of one of the legs, just frozen as he just tried to take it in. "Where are my chairs?" Chris heard, the British accent booming across the serene landscape. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Jennifer screaming into a walkie-talkie, a clipboard in her other hand. He shook his head gently and kept walking, Boo tagging along beside him, grin broad and wide. The soft murmur of the wedding activities fading away as he walked up and down the winding hills, his steps getting faster, his gait increasing to a jog, beads of sweat falling down his face. Not only was it great to know that soon they'd be under that chupah officially, it was great just to be away from everything; he and Jake and everyone that they loved were going to be right here. There wouldn't be anything to worry about and everyone would be having fun, everyone would be celebrating. "We've been through a lot, haven't we, kiddo?" Chris said, patting Boo's head as he leaned against a tree, breaths coming hard and heavy as he tried to cool down. Boo only looked at him, tongue hanging out of his open mouth. "And we've got a lot coming, I promise you." Chris' eyes turned skyward, the blue expanse stretching as far as he could see, a few fluffy white clouds wandering slowly with the wind. He didn't know why he and Jake had been spending so much time apart, especially since the one thing on his mind most of the time was Jake, but he figured that avoiding each other was one way to avoid the nervousness that seemed to shake him to the core. He sighed, slipping down so that he was lying on the fresh grass, Boo hopping up onto his stomach, curling into a little ball, his nose resting on the crook on Chris' neck. Chris idly scratched behind Boo's ear as he sorted through his own head, trying to sort out the thoughts that seemed to be spinning at warp speed. He never thought he'd be here, loving someone so much and being loved right back, so much love that they wanted to show the world that when they said 'forever,' it really did mean forever. It blew his mind to even think about it. Years ago, when they'd just started out, Chris wouldn't have ever even dreamed about something like this. It seemed like they just went through obstacle after obstacle, doing their best to stay afloat throughout each one. There were times he felt like giving up, knew that there were times Jake felt the same way, but now, as he just lay there, the steady beating of Boo's heart against his chest, he knew that it was all worth it. Another deep breath and he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. Happiness was a luxury he and Jake rarely saw in such abundance and he wanted to savor every moment of it. Chris' phone rang, Jake voice, distinctly sleepy when he opened it, "Where are you?" "Heaven," Chris said, chuckling, his fingers still behind Boo's ear, "and I don't ever want to leave." "I want to be in heaven too," Jake said, Chris could hear the smile on his face, "tell me how to get there." "I don't know," Chris said, "I just started walking and...that's that." "Well," Jake said, sighing deeply, "I hate to do this, but we--I--need you back here on earth." "Right now?" Chris asked. "Take your time," Jake said, "I'll be waiting." *** Jake's tongue darted out over his lips, his jaw tight as he ran his hands over Chris' wet shoulders, his eyes glued to the long lean lines of Chris' neck as his eyes fluttered open, the dark, warm brown meeting Jake's blue. "Get in," Chris said softly. Shaking his head softly, Jake stayed on his haunches, the steam rising up in twisting rivulets over the warm water in the claw foot tub. The bathroom smelled like oranges and grass, the soapy water splashing softly as Chris settled in the tub. Jake's hands ran down his chest, dipping below the water as Chris' eyes shut again, a soft groan falling from his lips as Jake's hands brushed nipples. "Don't start if you're not going to...finish," Chris said, grabbing Jake's wrists. Jake's eyes grew wide as he watched Chris bring his hands out of the water, every finger gloved in soapy suds, fingers tangling in Chris', "I...yeah," Jake stuttered, "I wanted to make sure you were okay with everything." "Okay?" Chris asked, grinning as he looked at their knotted fingers, "I'm great. I'm in Napa, I'm with everyone I love, the only thing I want is you in here with me." "I already took a shower," Jake said, "we have to...Jesus, Chris, I can't even think with you like this." "I'm not even doing anything." "I know," Jake said, "that's why it's so damn sexy." "Stop," Chris said, running his hands up Jake's arms, their eyes locking again as he leaned back, "nothing's going to change, right?" Jake shook his head again, "What could change? I'd fall even more in love with you? You'd mean more than the world to me? I think you can handle those sorts of changes." "Serious, come on. Us, Jake--what's next?" Jake leaned down, their lips coming together. He didn't know what would be next, but if it meant that he could kiss Chris anytime he wanted, hold him whenever he wanted, just be with him, then it didn't matter. Jake's tongue darted out and he felt Chris' wet hand in his hair, the upside-down angle awkward and arousing at the same time, Jake's hand sliding down the slick wetness of Chris' neck again, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake, all the tiny hairs called to attention. Jake slid his lips over to Chris' ear, kissing it softly before taking the lobe between his lips, "Next is going to better," he whispered, "better than anything you or me can think of." Chris turned around in the tub, finally facing Jake's shirtless form, and leaned forward, "Promise?" he whispered, hand running down Jake's cheek to his shoulder. "I'm making sure," Jake said, leaning in for another kiss. He felt Chris' arms wrap around his neck, the soapy water running down both of their bodies, Chris pulling them together tighter, pulling Jake up, "I'll do anything to make sure." Relenting, Jake pulled his underwear off as Chris pulled away, scooting back in the tub as Jake stepped in, the warm body enveloping his body. He settled in and pulled Chris tight, their bodies melting together in the small tub, Chris' back against Jake's chest as his hand ran idle circles of Jake's leg. "It's so beautiful here," Chris whispered, eyes closing as he concentrated on the steady beat of Jake's heart at his back. "I know," Jake said, his hands finding Chris' again, "who knew grapes could look like this." "And it's only an hour from 'Frisco. Why didn't we ever visit?" Jake shrugged, his quiet silencing Chris' questions as his own eyes slowly shut, the warm water and the comforting scents combining, "You don't know how happy I am right now," Chris whispered. "Yes I do," Jake said, eyes still shut, "I really do." "How are you so optimistic all the time?" Chris asked. "I've got you," Jake said, pulling Chris tight against his body, "nothing can go wrong." Chris smiled, loving how sappy Jake was getting. It had to be the wedding, the vacation, all the time they'd been spending together: everything was coming together just right, everything was so close to perfect that they could convince themselves that the things they were saying were believable. "It's true," Jake said, sighing, "I mean it." *** "So you're going to be walking down between here," Jennifer motioned down a long path between two arbors, the grape vines even greener up close. On the rolling hills that had been surrounding them all week, they looked amazing, but right where they could smell them and touch them, the simple curling vines seemed even more magical to Jake and Chris. "It'll be decorated," she assured them, "we're getting on that right now." "It's fine," Chris said, "chill out." Jake snickered, grabbing Chris' hand. He saw her roll her eyes, her expression serious and concentrating, "I want this to be perfect for you," she said, "it's my job." Her accent seemed even thicker than normal, the stress magnifying every single one of her idiosyncrasies. "It looks great," Chris said, "like everything I ever wanted." Her face seemed to relax, a smile forming on her lips, "Thank goodness," she sighed, "this is one of the most important weddings I've ever done." "Really?" Jake asked, eyebrows furrowing, "it's like...fifty people." "Fifty people who will see every mistake. Close quarters aren't the best," she said, smiling nervously, "and it's not every wedding I do is full of Hollywood's brightest." Chris felt Jake squeeze his hand, "It's perfect," Jake said. He pulled Chris away from the rush, "Napa reminds me of Santa Barbara," he said as they walked, the commotion disappearing with every step, "only there's way more booze involved." "You have wine with breakfast, lunch, and dinner," Chris said, smiling as Jake pulled him between another set of arbors, the vines so close together that the leaves and tendrils ran over their arms, "that might have something to do with why you like it here so much." "Maybe," Jake said, nose running over Chris' as he pulled their bodies together, "or maybe it's that I'm with you," his scratchy beard ran over Chris' cheek, hands sliding down Chris' back. Chris had to admit that being together made anything better, but having every worry so far away made it even better than that. Then he suddenly remembered one thing he did have to worry about, "Jake," Chris said softly, Jake's only acknowledgement a low grunt as he started nipping at Chris' neck, "remember when we were supposed to..." he was embarrassed to even bring it up, "write our vows?" "Chris," Jake said, voice barely audible, "don't worry about that. I finished a long time ago." Chris' stomach dropped into his feet. He closed his eyes and gripped Jake's shoulders as a shudder ran down his back. His jaw tightened and the words came blurting out, "I didn't." Jake froze. Chris cringed, too embarrassed to even look Jake in the eyes when he pulled away, "You're kidding." "I tried," Chris said, almost pleading, "I really did. I just...nothing came out right." "You're serious," Jake said, grabbing Chris' shoulders, "you're a...writer." "Jake, don't overreact. I'll get to it." "Overreact?" Jake said, eyes widening, "last I checked, we're getting married tomorrow. Rehearsal dinner's tonight. Are we on the same wavelength here?" "Are you snapping at me?" Jake stepped backwards, "Jesus, Chris. I'm sorry, but you've got to see how crazy this is. We're getting married tomorrow. Everyone's here." He punctuated every word with his hands, his face contorted with confusion. "I know, Jesus Christ, I know." Pulling him into his arms again, Jake shook his head softly, "I can't believe you. It'll take what...thirty seconds? It took me a whole week. I must have written it a hundred times. You'll write something and it'll make everyone cry and that'll be it." "It's not that easy, Jake." "You better get started, easy or not." "Did you memorize yours already?" "It's all up here," Jake said, finger at his temple. Chris brought his hand to his heart, "Well right now, mine's in here." "Okay," Jake said, "that's a start. Now just get it out here so the rest of us can hear it." *** Jake leaned against the railing of the back deck, the vineyards of Napa stretched out all the way to the horizon in every direction. It felt so good to just close his eyes and feel the cool breeze blow across his skin. Letting out a long sigh, he could feel a smile spread across his face. "I can hear you," he said, eyes still closed. "It looks great out here," Maggie said, "trying to show me up?" Jake finally turned around, arms crossed over his chest. The sunset was behind him, white lights strung up above their heads and candles flickering everywhere, "Hey, I guess we got lucky." "Where are we?" Maggie asked, leaning right next to Jake, her head on his shoulder, "Tuscany? Provence? This is unreal." Jake beamed, every inch of him proud of how well everything was coming together. "What do we got, fifteen minutes? Half an hour?" Maggie shrugged, "I know how hard it must be," she said, eyes shutting just like Jakes had earlier, "this whole earthquake thing didn't even faze you." "Yes it did," Jake interrupted, "and I think that only Chris and I know how much it did. We had everything and then we had nothing but each other." Silently, Maggie ran her hand up Jake's arm, her silence enough of a response. "It was enough," Jake assured her, "we didn't need anything else." "And that's why you two make me sick," Maggie said, "but really, I'm glad this is finally happening." "Me too," Jake said, straightening up as soon as he saw Chris come out on to the patio, Boo right on his heels. "Hey guys," Chris said, "where is everyone else?" "You're still early," Maggie said, "I just wanted to check out the place." "It's great," Chris said, eyes glancing around the patio. He pictured it full of people and full of food and it looked so good in his head. He stepped a few paces around, Jake reaching out to hold his hand and follow him a little, "I am completely just...wow. I can't believe it's happening." Jake pulled him into his arms, nose nuzzling into the back of Chris' neck. He rocked their bodies together, reveling in the contact and the warmth, the two of them oblivious to everything around them. "It's been like that all week," Peter said, sidling up to Maggie before throwing his arm over her shoulders, "it's like they're in their own world." She smiled, watching them take in all the little details, seeing them see their ideas realized. They both watched as people started coming in, every single one in awe of how beautiful everything looked, from the lights to the flowers, everything seemed effortlessly thrown together and perfect at the same time. Everyone knew everyone else, Maggie noticed, because the only people Chris and Jake invited were their closest friends and family, intimate was one way to describe it, but even that word seemed wrong. It was more like a family party than a wedding. "Look at this," Topher said, patting Jake on the shoulder, "all of it." "Grace, how did he wrangle you into being his best man?" Jake joked. "All he had to do was ask," Topher said, "but with no bachelor party, all I have to do is stand up there with you." "Did you get your yarmulke?" Jake asked, grinning broadly. "Yeah, about that..." Chris waved to Natalie as she walked in, his hand slipping out of Jake's as he walked over to her, "I haven't seen you in forever," Chris said, pulling her tiny frame into a hug, "can I talk to you over here?" He pulled her away to the side of the large patio, everyone already milling around, people hugging and smiling everywhere, "Hey, I don't know who else I can tell this," Chris said, his voice hushed. "You didn't...cheat, did you?" she asked, eyes narrowing. "No!" Chris said, eyes wide, "nothing like that. It's just that I spent all day trying to write something and I couldn't." "Why are you working? You're getting married." "No, not that," Chris said, stepping closer to her, "I can't write my wedding vows." Natalie's eyes went from narrow to wide, just like Jake's did earlier. "Don't look at me like that." "This isn't like you." "Would it be lame if I did that whole same old 'I Christopher Lewis take you Jacob Benjamin Gyllenhaal to be my lawfully...blah blah blah?" Chris said, his eyes rolling just thinking about it. "'Blah blah blah,'" Natalie said, imitating him, "you don't want that." "I'll work on it tonight," Chris said, defeated. Natalie pulled him into a hug, that simple touch reassuring him. He'd spent all day with his journal and in front of his computer, switching back and forth and all that he'd managed to get out of himself was the most sappy, sentimental recollection of things that he and Jake had gone through. It was so awful that he immediately tossed it into the trashcan. It should have been easy, but it wasn't. It should have been just flowing out of him, but it didn't. It was one of the most important things that he'd ever write and he knew it. He knew it and that was why he couldn't get it out. "Are you there?" Natalie asked, grabbing his shoulder. "Sorry," Chris said, shaking himself, "it's really bothering me. I don't work like this. I can't just make it happen." "Then don't," Natalie said, "it'll happen tonight, with all this around you, it'll happen." Chris slid his hands into his pockets and followed her back into the party, the weight of the situation finally pushing onto his shoulders as he realized just how close it was. "There you are," Jake whispered into his ear, arms wrapping around his chest, "everyone's having a good time and the food's not even out yet." Turning around, Chris pulled Jake's lips to his own, pushing everything out of his mind except for that exact moment, Jake's body against his, hands on his back, everything so perfectly in sync that he was sure that their hearts were even beating in time. His whole body seemed to ache for Jake, all the pressure and preparation coming together too fast. Jake let out a low moan as they pulled apart, "Whatever that was for, remind me to do it more often," he said, smiling. Chris blushed, his hand running down Jake's chest, "I couldn't stop myself." "You don't have to," Jake said, "ever." They both heard Maggie clear her throat, "No need to rehearse that," she said, motioning to the crowd, who seemed as completely rapt in their kiss as they were. Chris blushed a deep crimson and Jake pulled him close, hand over his shoulders. "Thanks for coming out here," Jake said, beaming as he looked around at the familiar faces, "it means a lot to me." "Me too," Chris added, his hand running over Jake's chest. "And like Maggie said," Jake continued, smiling, "we don't need to do much rehearsing. We both just want you guys to have a good time." Chris saw Jake's dad raise his glass and everyone followed suit, smiles on every single face, their glasses sparkling in the candlelight. As every filed to their seats, Chris pulled Jake to the railing again, "It's perfect," Chris whispered in his ear, "everything." "I know," Jake said, "God, there are so many stars out here it almost hurts to look." Chris turned his eyes skyward and nodded. Jake's hand tangled in his, bringing his hand to his lips. "There's nobody out there like you," he whispered, kissing Chris' hand softly, lips trailing up to his wrist and jumping to his neck, hand cradling Chris' jaw, "not here and not out there." Chris shook his head softly, Jake stopping him with another kiss, the entire world, stars and all, melting away as Jake pulled their bodies close together; absolutely nothing else mattered and Chris swore he felt the earth stop, someone out there looking down at them and letting them enjoy the moment just a second longer. *** "We're breaking all the rules," Chris said, smiling as Jake leaned in to give him a quick kiss, "we weren't supposed to see each other, we probably weren't supposed to kiss, and I know for sure we weren't supposed to be doing what we did last night." "We broke the rules a long time ago," Jake said, buttoning Chris' shirt for him, the white fabric sliding smoothly under his fingers. He stepped back as Chris pulled the sleeves tight, smoothing the front as he turned to look at himself in the full-length mirror. As much as he wanted to be wearing his flip-flops, he slid his feet into his nice shoes, his shirt still untucked. Jake pulled the white yarmulke from the dresser and struggled to pin it in his hair as Chris sat on the bed, watching the tightening of muscles in Jake's back and the look of concentration on his face. "I don't think I've ever been happier," Jake said, "really." Chris smiled, biting his lip nervously as Jake finished, checking himself one last time before sliding his own white shirt on, his black slacks still unbuttoned, barely hanging on his hips. "How much longer can I draw this out?" Chris asked. "What?" "I don't want to go back to the real world," Chris said, leaning backwards onto his elbows to take in Jake's full form, "let's stretch this dream out a little longer." "This isn't a dream," Jake said, "it's not going to disappear when you wake up." "I'm awake." "Exactly," Jake said, turning around. He looked so handsome Chris couldn't help staring, the tiniest bit of chest hair showing from between the top buttons of his shirt, his hair combed and a neat layer of stubble on his jaw. The most prominent feature, however, was the unwavering smile that just wouldn't change. It had been there all morning, from the moment his eyes fluttered open to see Chris's sleeping form clutching his body to that very minute he caught Chris staring at him. "I can't help myself," Chris said, "let me just look." Jake leaned down, hand in the middle of Chris' chest, pushing him down flat onto the mattress as their foreheads came together, Jake's eyes sparkling and his lips brushing Chris' as he talked, "I want to kiss you so bad," he said, "but I want to save it, too." "You said we already broke the rules," Chris said, hands on Jake's neck, lips running over Jake's cheek, the smell of soap and cologne on his skin. "But now I feel...," Jake stopped, "I want everyone to see how much I love you." "Then I'll do it," Chris said, hand sliding to Jake's shoulder under his shirt, lips coming up to kiss Jake again, a soft groan filling their mouths before Jake pulled away, lips lingering on Chris'. "Come on," Jake said, pulling Chris up, "there's time for that later." "Better be more than just that," Chris said, smoothing his clothes, he ran his fingers over Jake's forehead, tucking in the stray stands of hair, Jake's smile contagious, his heart beating faster with every passing second. A knock on the door and Chris immediately knew it was Jennifer, glancing at the clock, he saw that she was right on time. She always was. Jake answered the door as Chris grabbed his jacket; the snug fit making him look even leaner. "Half an hour," Jennifer said, "everything's right on track. It's breathtaking." "I didn't expect any less," Jake said, the charm oozing from every word, "we're almost there." "You guys look great," she said, glancing at Chris, still looking himself over in the mirror. "And everyone else is probably waiting, right?" Chris asked, finally turning around to face her. "Who cares," she said, "this is about you two." Chris nodded; running his fingers through his hair one more time, finally deciding it had reached the perfect balance of neat and messy. Glancing out the window, he saw the clouds in contrast against the bright blue sky, everything coming together just like he hoped. "I'll send someone to come get you two," Jennifer said, "I'm going to make one last sweep." She shut the door behind her and Chris looked at Jake again, his expression soft and dreamy. "I'm ready," Chris said, walking towards the mirror. Down in the midst of the twisting green vineyard, there was the white chupah, sheer fabric blowing in the soft breeze, white chairs set up in a semicircle around it, people milling around the entire setup, too small for Chris to make out real details. Jake came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Chris' waist, chin resting on his shoulder, "It's almost show time," Jake said, "sure everything's just right?" "Right enough," Chris said, kissing Jake's cheek softly. Jake turned him around, that smile still on his lips, "you should go check on your family. I've got to look over my notes." Jake nodded; nervous energy suddenly coursing through his body. Some time apart would be good, he could barely keep his hands off of Chris, wanted to just throw him down and kiss him, feel their bodies together, it was getting harder and harder to resist. "I'll see you down there." "I love you," Chris said, kissing the tip of Jake's nose. "I'll see you down there," Jake said again, finally stepping back, his hands sliding down Chris' arms to tangle in his fingers, "promise?" "I'm not going anywhere," Chris said, letting Jake's hands slide out of his. Jake looked at him for just one more minute, taking in everything from head to toe, like he needed to keep it in his memory. "Go," Chris insisted, shattering his silent observations. Jake nodded and stepped out, leaving Chris alone. *** Kicking off his dress shoes, Chris yanked his socks off and slid on his leather flip- flops, the black leather faded and cracked. He rushed downstairs, fixing his collar and smoothing the lapels of his jacket as he bounded to the foyer, where Jake was waiting for him. "None of this," Chris said, pulling Jake's tie off, fingers unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt. "Whatever you want," Jake said, "God, you look good. This is...it's here." "It's here," Jennifer said, pushing them outside. There was a short walk to the edge of the vineyard and Jake immediately pulled Chris to him, "everything's set. Everyone's sitting, the music's going, all that's left is you two." Her eyes scanned the two of them, from Jake's cream-colored yarmulke to the glimpse of chest hair to his shiny black shoes. She glimpsed Chris' lack of shoes and her breath caught, "Christopher, you're not wearing...shoes," she seemed confused, horrified, "those are sandals." "It's fine," Chris said, "it's no big deal." She cringed, no ties, no boutonnieres, hardly any wedding party, this was starting to become the most unstructured wedding she'd ever planned. "It's fine," Jake assured her, "breathe." Jennifer shut off her walkie-talkie headset, brushing her hair behind her ear. "You two are the happiest couple I've ever worked with," she said, a hand on each of their shoulders, "you two are just...right." A tear fell from her eye and both were hit with a wave of emotion they weren't expecting. Weren't wedding planners supposed to be immune to this sort of thing? Chris looked over at Jake, teeth lightly biting his lip. His eyes shot to Chris' and he looked away, not sure how to react to her sudden barrage of emotion. "Are you okay?" Chris finally asked. "I need to get you two out there," she said, composing herself again. She looked impeccable in a simple dress, the deep purple color complimenting her green eyes. Taking one last deep breath, she ushered Chris and Jake out to the patio and down the steps, the vineyard inching closer and closer. The sun was trying its best to peek through the clouds, hazy yellow light making the green leaves almost glow. "This is as far as I go," Jennifer said, switching her earpiece back on, "whenever you're ready, I'll cue the music." "Hey Abby," Chris said, kneeling as he kissed the tip of her nose, "thanks for doing this." "You look pretty," Jake said, hugging her, her little feet dangling in the air as Jake lifted her up, "like our very own little fairy princess." Abby blushed, still too nervous to say anything, "I'll do it perfect," she finally said, straightening herself. "Go ahead," Chris said, motioning to the narrow opening in the grapevines, "we'll see you down there." Chris could barely see Abby gingerly tossing a combination of white flower petals and grape leaves onto the ground; he grabbed Jake's hand and started towards the aisle, one left turn and they'd be a few paces from forever. "Not now," Jake whispered, "not yet." Tilting his head, Chris looked into Jake's blue eyes, "Not yet?" "Give me a second," Jake said, pulling Chris in for a hug, for some last minute confidence that this was real, that Chris wasn't a dream and that after everything, after the ups and the downs, that this was finally happening. He ran his nose through Chris' hair, his hands swept down Chris' arms to grab his hands one more time. Just seeing everything like that, catching glimpses through the tangled grapevines, the candles lining the aisle, the scent of white flowers in the air, the soft murmur of people, it just all came together inside of him. It was everything he wanted. He felt Jake grab his hand tighter, squeezing it tight. Their eyes came together, "Ready?" Chris asked, hand on Jake's chest. He smiled and knew that everything he'd ever need was right there in front of him. Nodding, Jake led Chris out to the end of the aisle and the music swelled, every head turning in their direction. Slowly, Chris and Jake walked together between the two white tents, their hands entwined. Chris stared at Jake the whole time, saw Jake glance at him every few steps until he just gave up trying, their eyes locked the rest of the way. They got up to the chupah, flanked by Topher and Peter, an older man between them, slightly obscured by the sheer fabric. "You may be seated," he said, voice surprisingly resonant. Everyone sat down and Chris and Jake faced each other. "We are gathered here today to witness the union of Jacob Benjamin Gyllenhaal, son of Stephen and Naomi Gyllenhaal, and Christopher Elliot Lewis, son of the late Jonathan and Charlotte Lewis." Topher stepped forward and handed the officiant a long length of silver cord. He took it and started wrapping it around Chris and Jake's hands, "With this I connect you, a connection that starts now, unwavering and unending." Jake mouthed a quick, 'I love you,' the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he smiled. Chris stuck his tongue out quickly, smiling widely. The rabbi coughed and the two of them stopped, "Now both Jacob and Christopher have prepared their own words that they would like to share." Jake nodded and brought his other hand up, covering both of their hands under the cord, "When people talk about love at first sight, I don't relate. I don't know what it's like to see someone and fall head over heels. I don't know what they mean when they say everything happened in a heartbeat, because what we have isn't like that. I thought it was once, but now, I know it wasn't." His words were slow and deliberate, well practiced and clear. Chris brought his other hand up, running it over Jake's face, taking a step closer, "What we have Chris, is something else. It's too deep and too real to be something that just happens. You're creative, you always know how to put a smile on my face, you understand my mixed up head, and more than anything, I know that no matter what, you're all mine. When I met you, I might not have fallen in love right then, but I knew that I wanted to know more about you and every day, every single day, I still want to know more. So this is my promise to you, Chris, you let me in and I'll never let go." Jake reached up, wiping the tear that had strayed from Chris' eye. "Jake," Chris said, his voice shakier than he thought it'd come out, "I..." a clap of thunder stopped him and his eyes shot upward; he didn't know if the clouds had been gray the entire time or if they'd suddenly darkened. He'd been oblivious to everything. "Stay with me," Jake whispered, "keep going." "I never thought I'd be doing this," Chris said, confidence building with every word, "never thought I'd ever meet someone like you because I didn't know you were what I was looking for. Having someone just come in and throw my entire world off, it scared me so much, but the whole time you were there holding my hand just like this, always telling me that you'd be there no matter what and you've showed me again and again that you would." Another thunderclap, louder, Chris ignored it, "No matter what, I know that you'll be there for me, because you've broken through every single barrier I've put up. I don't need them if I have you. You're all I need, all I'll ever need, Jake. I'll stay with you forever. I mean it," Chris gripped Jake's hand tighter, "forever." Another boom of thunder and Chris looked up at Jake, who smiled at him, both their eyes darting out to everyone, a few dabbing at their eyes. "One more thing," the officiant brought everyone's attention back to the chupah. He opened up a napkin and showed everyone a glass, "We must remember that with great joy, like we have today, there is always sadness. We cannot have one without the other." Jake nodded and Chris smiled back, both of them raising their feet to smash the glass. The crunching sound under their feet made Chris' heart jump, the reminder of sadness resonating in his ears. Everyone clapped, the sound almost echoing across the vineyard and bringing Chris right back to Jake. "I have the rings," Peter said, handing over a tiny black box. "A symbol of unity, rings with no end and no beginning like love itself, like the love shared between not only Jacob and Christopher, but between everyone here today; these rings, no matter how tarnished and scratched, damaged or broken, the thing that they symbolize will be like Christopher said, 'forever.'" He pulled the cord from around their hands, the smooth silk cord sending a quick chill through both of their bodies as it slid across their skin. Chris took one out, the simple platinum band shiny and pure, and slid it onto Jake's left hand, "I'm not taking this one off," Jake whispered just loud enough for Chris to hear, "ever." He reached over and grabbed Chris' hand, unusually bare looking, stripped of all his other ones. Jake took the other one out and Peter stepped back. The feeling of the cold metal sent a ripple through Chris' body from his hand straight up his arm and across the rest of his body from his ears to his toes. It was real now: it made all the other promises tiny in comparison and as weird as it sounded, he really did feel different. "And now, with the power given to me I pronounce you..." Not even waiting for him to finish, Jake leaned in, his lips crashing into Chris', hand sliding down to the small of Chris' back, their bodies pressing together as Jake's tongue slipped into Chris' mouth for just a second, Chris' lips opening slightly as Jake backed off just slightly, their lips still touching. His eyes closed as he tried to memorize every single feeling that was rushing through him from the tingle all over to the almost overwhelming warmth flooding through him. The air suddenly felt chilly, the clouds bursting open, a downpour of rain falling down on the entire ceremony, the cool drops hitting their skin. Jake didn't seem to notice and neither did Chris, their kiss finally separating but their foreheads coming together, blue focused on brown, both soft and dreamy. Chris pushed Jake's soaked hair back off his forehead, the sudden torrents of rain an afterthought. It was done now, and even though all the candles weren't lit anymore and everything from the flowers to the chupah were getting soaked, nobody could deny that it happened. *** "I always thought we looked better together," Topher said, motioning to Chris and Jake, who had just come back from rushing off to change into dry clothes. The audience had the tents to protect them from the torrential rain and Topher had shuffled into one of them quick enough to elude the rainwater. Jake and Chris looked flawless though, cool and relaxed even in their wedding clothes, nothing looked too contrived; everything was just like they wanted. "I'd say the same," Jonas said, his accent thick, "you both have that thin thing going for you." Topher chuckled before taking a sip of his wine, "It never would have worked out," Topher said, "he's too in love with Jake. I can't fuck things up more than I already have." "You've got a bloke, haven't you?" "Sometimes," Topher said, sighing, "you know how that is." "Right I do," he said, waving as Chris walked over. "Jonas," he said, hugging Topher from behind, "I'm really glad you could make it." He pulled away from Topher, who turned around to face them, a gentle smile on his face, "Topher looked good up there, didn't he? I almost forgot who I came to marry," Chris joked. Topher blushed and gripped Chris' shoulder, "You belong with him," Topher said, "he makes you...you make each other...happy." "That's why he's my best man, Jonas," Chris said, "and I swear, after the honeymoon and after we find a place to live and when I get my head back into it, I'll fix everything this movie and it'll be good for you and Jake. I swear. Topher's got Spiderman, he's got nothing to worry about." "Take your time," Jonas said, his Irish accent's subtleties still catching both Chris and Topher off-guard, "you shouldn't even be thinking about working." He was right. The project had been put on hold since the earthquake, then it got pushed back because of the wedding, and now it was just easier for everyone to just put the entire project on hiatus indefinitely. The studio didn't care. After all, it had hardly even started yet. "I can't help it," Chris said, "it's my book. I'm the only one I trust with it. Especially after what happened last time." "Found you," Jake said, kissing the back of Chris' neck, his scratchy stubble tickling the sensitive skin. "I wasn't even hiding," Chris said, turning around to kiss him, "can't get enough of you," he whispered, another one of those grins spreading across his lips. "Jonas," Jake said, shaking his hand firmly before pulling him into a hug, "you should be working this crowd. That accent of yours is going to hook you anyone." Jonas smiled, wondering why Americans were so seduced by accents of any sort. The lure of the exotic seemed to know no bounds. "Jake, you're too kind," he said, "but I should be congratulating you. Found yourself a nice fit bloke and making the rest of us look like fools buggering around." "No," Jake said, "I'm just lucky." "Armstrong, you get cast in the movie and get an invite and I have to watch these two make out and hold hands for years to be here. Where's the justice?" "You got to be on stage, my friend," Jonas said, raising his glass, "and a fine job you did with that rope." "Tying the knot," Topher said, rolling his eyes, "who came up with that?" Chris shrugged, "I just follow directions." "Well, then follow me out there," Jake said, motioning to the dance floor, "let's get this thing started." The band slowed down to a halt as Jake led Chris out onto the small parquet dance floor, their foreheads pressed together as Peter, honorary emcee, started, "Jake and Christopher, being the fools that they are, said they wanted to keep the floor open all night. So if you're eating and you want to dance, do it. Between courses? Dance. So with the first dance of the night, their first as a married couple, Jake and Chris have the floor." "Hear that?" Jake whispered, "we're a married couple." "I know," Chris said, "I was there." Jake's hands rested on Chris' waist, their bodies moving as the band started and his lips mouthed the words, 'Someday, when I'm awfully low.' 'When the world is cold,' Chris said silently, following Jake's slow motions, 'I will feel aglow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight.' Chris slid his hands up Jake's chest, resting his head on his shoulder, he felt Jake hold him tighter, but he didn't feel the eyes on him from every angle. He could barely hear the music, could only feel Jake's warm body and the soft sweet smell of rain on his skin. Jake moved along, his eyes half closed, his mouth absentmindedly following the music as he led Chris around, lips brushing his as Chris pulled him into a light kiss, Jake faltering just a little with the surprise. "Keep that breathless charm," Chris whispered, his eyes sparkling with the light from the candles all over and he suddenly forgot the words because Jake looked him right in the eyes, his whole body stopping because he really couldn't recall a time when everything seemed so perfect. "Because I love you," Jake said, pulling Chris in just a little tighter, his words right in time with the end of the song as they kissed one more time, the clink of crystal and soft applause finally bringing the two of them back down to earth, Chris running his fingers through Jake's hair, yarmulke forgotten in the house during the change, Jake giving him just one more quick kiss for good measure. Jake pulled away and grabbed Chris' hand, huge smiles on both their faces as they walked to their table, Peter taking the microphone one more time, "And there we have it," Peter said, "now we can finally eat." Laughter filled the air and Chris leaned over, his head resting on Jake's shoulder. He didn't want time to pass--he just wanted to be able to look over at Chris, eyes dreamy and a definitely justifiable reason for them to kiss every ten seconds. The food came and went, light vineyard food with plenty of wine. Every dish was delicious and spoke to Jake's culinary interests. Chris could barely remember tasting anything at all he was so out of himself. "Hey," he heard, his head snapping over away from Jake. "Topher," Chris said, still smiling. His hand slipped out of Jake's and he stood up and the two of them stepped back, both leaning against a wall, "Are you having a good time?" "The best," he said, hand on Chris' shoulder, "I don't think I can make that speech though." "You have to," Chris said, "I had to." "You had time to sit down and write it, I don't even know what to say." Chris leaned in, "Topher," he said quietly, "I didn't write it. I made it up holding his hand up there." Topher was taken aback, eyes wide, "Seriously?" "Nothing was coming out right," Chris said, shrugging, "so I just let it happen. Do it for me, Topher, I need you..." Chris didn't want to say it, but he wanted to hear Topher being happy for he and Jake, needed to hear the words from his mouth, "you're always telling me to just let things go, so I did." Sighing, Topher stood up straight again, "Anything for you," he said, "I mean that." *** The cling of forks on crystal brought Chris' attention away from Jake, everyone's eyes on Topher as he nervously got up, his smile shaky and his tall frame teetering, nervous energy charging through him combining with the effects of the wine. He cleared his throat, shaking himself one last time before he started, "Hi...hey, I just...I'm Topher, best man on Chris' side. And I wanted to just say..." Chris' eyes were wide as Topher stopped. He nodded, trying to keep the momentum going as Chris mouthed, 'keep going.' Topher felt his confidence build. If Chris wanted it, he'd do it. "Chris and I go back a really long time. Me and Chris...me, Chris, and Jake, we've got a lot of history and I'm honored to be here celebrating their love. I know for a fact that there were things trying to stop them, but they got through it and here we all are today, witnessing firsthand that love is what gets people through things. Love is why we do half the things that we do and the reason why the other half doesn't seem to matter. Chris showed me that. He shows me that every day when I see him with Jake. We all see it in their eyes, in the way the act around each other, the way nothing seems to matter when they're together. I just hope we all can be half as lucky. So I raise my glass to you two, Chris and Jake, my very best friends." Smiling, Jake took a sip of his champagne, and Chris sipped his, rolling his eyes when he tasted apple cider, another round of applause filling their ears. "That was great," Jake whispered in his ear before kissing the lobe softly, "he's such a great guy." Chris' hand went to Jake's chest, "The best best man anyone could ask for." "And now it's time for cake," Topher said, relief evident in his voice, "so I can get this mic out of my hand." The cake wasn't a cake at all, just Chris and Jake's favorite chocolate cupcakes with white icing. Chris grabbed one in his hand, the whole thing surprisingly light. Jake's hand wrapped around his and they held it up, both smiling. "No sweat," Jake whispered. "Don't you dare smash that in my face," Chris whispered, sliding the little cake onto a little plate. He didn't see a fork on the table anywhere. Jake grabbed the cupcake in his hand, half of it breaking off onto the plate, creamy white icing smearing on his fingers. Chris picked it up and held it to Jake's lips, giggling when Jake's lips brushed his fingers. An audible 'aww' came from the onlookers and Jake did the same for Chris, resisting the urge to smear even the tiniest bit of frosting onto Chris' chin. Chris leaned in for another kiss, probably their hundredth or thousandth one that night, his tongue darting out to lick a stray bit of frosting from Jake's lips. "How about another dance?" Jake asked, not even waiting for an answer. He grabbed Chris' hand, kissing it softly before pulling him out to the floor, the world disappearing again in the twinkle of candles and soft scent of white flowers. "Look at them out there," Peter said, nudging Maggie. "Look at him," Maggie said, motioning over to Topher, who was sitting in his chair, prodding his wedding cupcake with a fork, "he's falling apart." "This'll do it," Peter said, "he'll see. We all knew he never really got over it." "Why does he do this to himself?" she said, picking up a chunk of cake on her fork. "Because at least now, has them both as friends," Peter said, "and that's better than nothing at all." *** "It's so quiet," Chris said, shedding his jacket, his whole body suddenly jumping when he felt Jake behind him. Jake's nose was nuzzling into the back of his neck, his hands already sliding up the back of Chris' shirt, "I'm so in love with you," Jake whispered, "I just...I can't stop." "You don't have to," Chris said, his head falling back onto Jake's shoulder, a slow shudder spreading from his neck right down to his toes. "I know," Jake said, hands sliding around to Chris' stomach, "and I won't ever." Chris turned around and their mouths crashed together, Jake's lips and hands hungry, like he'd been holding it back all day. The emotions seemed to surge through him, his hands deftly unbuttoning Chris' shirt, his lips sliding down Chris' neck. A soft whimper fell from Chris' mouth when he felt Jake's scratchy stubble on his chest, his fingers tangling in Jake's thick brown hair when he felt a tongue dart across his nipple. Gripping hard, Chris let out a soft grunt, pressing Jake's face closer to his skin, his shirt sliding off his shoulders, the fabric bunching across his back. Jake pulled his own shirt off, struggling as he tried to keep his mouth on Chris' skin. He felt Chris grab his shoulders, pulling him up for another kiss as they came together chest to chest, Chris' hands running down Jake's back, feeling strong muscle and under his shaky hands, his lips desperate on Jake's. Falling to his knees, Jake's hands pulled Chris' slacks down, underwear following just a second later, his tongue instantly on Chris' balls, a sharp gasp coming from Chris' mouth as he felt his dick surrounded by the hot, wet warmth of Jake's mouth. He felt his legs shaking, his heart racing, and his entire body slicking in a sheen of sweat as Jake's mouth moved up and down on his length, tongue flicking across the slit, Jake's eyes closed, one hand gripping Chris' hip and the other wrapped around the base of Chris' cock. Groaning, Chris slowly pulled his dick out of Jake's mouth only to have Jake dive back onto it, tongue lapping the base. "Jake," Chris said, voice already raspy and shaky, barely hanging on. Jake pulled off, tongue trailing down the length of Chris' dick, another shiver running through Chris' body. Jake loved hearing his name, syllables shaky and stretched out, Chris barely able to get it the whole word out. Pre-cum dripped onto Jake's tongue, the sweet slickness making him groan, his own dick rock hard in his pants. Panting, Chris pulled Jake's lips off and knelt down, kissing Jake again. Jake unzipped his pants, rucking them to his ankles as he pushed Chris backwards, his back hitting the bed. Scrambling, Jake pulled Chris up and pushed him down onto the bed, his hand running through his hair as he looked down at Chris, breathless, face flushed, body languid and lean. His own breathing hard, eyes smoldering as he darted his tongue out to wet his lips, Chris' hand stroking his own cock lazily, "Come on," he whispered, "Jake..." There it was again, a smile finding its way onto Jake's lips, "Just let me look a little," he said, "that's all mine?" "All yours," Chris said, back arching as he scooted back into the middle of the bed, resting on his shoulders, "now give me what's mine." Jake leaned down, straddling Chris' hips as they kissed again, Jake's hand pinning Chris' above his head. He slid his finger over Chris' lips, dipping inside, Chris' tongue running over it, pulling away to get another. Jake bit his lip, the image enough to make him cum right there. A jolt ran down his body as he ran a line down Chris' chest. Biting his lip again, he watched as Chris' body tensed in anticipation, rolling onto his shoulders, toes curling. Jake slid his fingers inside, Chris hissing, his arms struggling against Jake's, his eyes shutting and his jaw slack. "Fuck," he groaned as Jake grazed his prostate, "right there." "I know," Jake whispered, breath hot on his ear. It was true, Jake knew every spot that drove Chris crazy, knew exactly what to do and how to do it. His lips left a wet trail from Chris' ear to his jaw, going lower to nip at his neck. His fingers scissored in Chris' hole, bending at the knuckle to hit Chris' prostate just so before circling it, pressing hard right after, Chris arching even higher. "Come on," Chris groaned, pulling his arms free. He grabbed Jake's shoulders, his right leg hooking up onto Jake's back. Jake grunted and grabbed the base of his cock, lining it up and kissing Chris one more time as he thrust inside, Chris' entire body tensing, his head thrown back as Jake bit his collarbone, a long stifled groan filling Chris ears as Jake's cock was completely sheathed inside of him. Both of them remained frozen, Chris body still soaking in the sensations, the dull ache in his ass spreading as a hot wave throughout his whole body. Jake had to resist the urge to thrust, wanted to just feel his cock surrounded by the warmth and the pressure, feel Chris squeeze him while his body panted and quaked. "It's all I got," Jake whispered, voice raspy and dry. He still didn't move, was still enjoying the connection too much, loved seeing Chris under him. Arching his back, Chris grabbed Jake's shoulders even tighter, pushing him away until Jake was kneeling, Chris' ankles on his shoulders. Jake slid his knees under Chris' back, and pulled Chris to him tight, "More after all," slipping from Chris' lips as he groaned, Jake finally starting to thrust, the upward angle sending both of them into a waves of new sensation, bodies glistening with sweat as Jake nipped at Chris' ankle, watching his toes curl with every hard push. Jake pushed forward, Chris resting on his shoulders and his thrusts almost straight down. Chris was practically incoherent, bed sheets knotting in the white knuckles of his fists. Jake grunted with every move, his eyes locked on Chris' expression of complete freedom, every one of his moves fueled by the instinct to orgasm. Jake pushed Chris down again, straddling his leg and thrusting hard and deep, his head whipping from side to side. Jake pressed their foreheads together, his eyes pleading and his breathing shaky, "Chris, I love you so much," he groaned, tensing, "so fucking much." Chris' hands framed his face and he nodded desperately, mind too muddy with physical sensation to form words. Chris felt Jake's hand wrap around his cock and his eyes immediately clamped shut, his body jerking as he came, thick white spurts of cum splattering his chest. Jake threw his head back, grunting loudly as Chris' tight chute squeezed him with every pulse. Chris's body went slack and Jake leaned down, kissing him as he thrust, steady and strong, powerful pushes deep and firm. "Jesus," Chris groaned, the sound falling to whimper as Jake kept pushing into him, the movements liquid and smooth. "Again," Jake said, stroking Chris again, "I know you can." Chris was completely out of control, riding wave after wave, the sensations from his prostate taking over everything. Jake thrust faster, stroking Chris' dick as Chris threw his head back again. "Again," he groaned, whimpers loud now, "It's going to...again." He shot again, another few shots of cum spewing from his cock. He couldn't believe it happened so fast, but Jake was right behind him, their lips locking one last time as Jake shot deep inside Chris, both of their bodies going rigid in the throes of their orgasms, breathing labored and bodies shiny with sweat. Chris pushed Jake's hair off of his forehead, his eyes already half-closed, "Fuck," he groaned, "Jake I can't believe..." Jake let out a soft chuckle, "The fucking best," he said, rolling off of Chris and pulling their bodies together, legs automatically going into that familiar tangle, arms, chests, and necks fitting together perfectly. "Don't fall asleep," Jake whispered, hand running lazy patterns on Chris' back, "I still have one thing for you." "Yeah?" Chris asked, the slumber already evident in his voice, "I already have everything I need." "I said I'd give it to you a long time ago," Jake said, pulling away for just a second. Chris pulled the sheets tight around his body as Jake bounded out of bed and shuffled through his faded canvas duffle bag. He came back to bed with a small box, spooning up behind Chris again before giving it to him. Chris slowly opened the thin box, his eyes wide as he flipped through the papers, "LA to London...London to ParisÉRome, Istanbul," his voice got more and more excited, "New Dehli, Tokyo..." his breathing got faster and faster, "Sydney..." the rest of the plane tickets were a blur, but Chris' vision was already getting blurry, "Sao Paulo, Patagonia...jeez." "I said the world was ours. It's time we take a look at it." Chris turned around, his eyes glistening with the start of tears, "It's ours," he said, voice soft. He kissed Jake lightly on the nose, "I can't believe it." "Believe it," Jake said, holding Chris tight, "just me, you, and the entire world." *** Topher zipped his hoodie up, tossing the hood over his head and shoving his hands deep into the pockets as he walked, eyes glazed and blank. Images of the wedding kept flashing in his mind and he kept beating himself up for not having a better time. All he could remember was how sweaty his palms were when he gave that speech and how hard it was to make sure everything he said wasn't completely stupid. Sighing, he closed his eyes as the cool after-rain fresh air blowing across his face. Something caught the corner of his eye and he looked up; even in partial silhouette he knew it was Chris, lazily waving at him from the small balcony attached to his room. Topher waved back, the first genuine smile on his face since he arrived in Napa. The clouds seemed to blow apart, the hazy moonlight suddenly illuminating the entire vineyard, Topher's breath catching when he saw Chris up there, a faint halo surrounding everything. Chris was smiling widely, Jake wrapping his arms around his chest, his hand coming up to wave. Topher waved back weakly, his eyes turning down and another long sigh falling from his mouth. It was harder now than ever, especially since he thought he was over it. But seeing them together, so in love and so happy, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous, couldn't help wanting something like that for himself. He turned around, startled when he saw Jonas there in the shadows, face surrounded by a plume of cigarette smoke, "You're not going to cry, are you?" he asked, accent thick. Topher's eyes narrowed, his lips tight, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about." He tossed a bottle of beer towards Topher, the cool glass shocking his hand, "I have time. And ears." Twisting the top off the bottle, Topher rolled his eyes, "I don't want to think about it any more. It's over." "It's not," Jonas said, blowing the smoke upward, flicking the ash to the ground, "don't kid yourself." Topher looked up again; they were gone. He took a long sip of the beer, he shook his head slowly, "No, it' done. He's gone." --- Feedback? christopherrluu@gmail.com